Bless The Rains In Africa
by QueenOfSlexieness
Summary: Mark and Lexie have been together for about a year. They are happy together and things are going great. But then Mark gets an offer that he just can't turn down.
1. Chapter 1

Lexie Grey woke up in Mark's arms. The arms that made her feel safe and loved. The arms that made her feel like home. The arms she wanted to never leave her.

It was a beautiful, peaceful morning in Seattle. To her surprise, the sun was shining through the window, hitting her eyes. They had gotten to bed pretty late last night. Mark had been to a doctors conference and Lexie had been up waiting for him.

Mark was still sleeping so Lexie carefully got out of bed. She found one of Mark's t-shirts on the floor and put it on. There was something about wearing his clothes. It was almost as good as his arms around her. She silently made her way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to make some breakfast.

She was almost done with the pancakes when she felt two strong arms coming around her waist from behind. Lexie would recognize those strong arms anywhere.

"Good morning, Beautiful" he said and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Good morning, Handsome" she answered and leaned in to him. "Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes".

"Too bad." he said and started kissing her neck. "I had other plans."

"Well, those plans will have to wait." she said firmly but jokingly

"Just a quicky? We've made it pretty quick before, you know". He said teasingly.

"We have. But I was gonna take a shower after breakfast. You can always join me." She suggested teasingly

"Good enough" he said and kissed her cheek.

"In the meantime, you can make the table ready. You know where the plates are." she said mockingly.

"Sure. Anything else for the Queen of Sexiness?"

"No, I'm good for now."

They arrived to work 15 minutes late. That quicky in the shower turned out to not be so quick.

Mark had been laughing at her when she muttered in the car about them being late.

He loved teasing her, especially when she already was stressed.

"Crap. Thanks to you I'm late for rounds and Cristina is gonna kill me." Lexie said, pointing a finger at him.

"Thanks to me? You're the one who suggested the shower." Mark responded in defense.

"Ha! Like doing it in the bed or against the kitchen counter would have been quicker." She argued.

"Okay, maybe not. But you're not the only one who's going to be late."

"Wow, so much time waisted on arguing. Time you could have spent on, I don't know, saving a life?" Derek said, coming up behind them with a amused look on his face.

"Yeah, you're right. I have rounds and Cristina is gonna be furious if I'm more late than I already am. See you later." Lexie said and kissed Mark before walking away.

Derek and Mark made their way to the Attending's lounge but was stopped by Chief Webber.

"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Sloan, I would like to talk to you both, in my office." Webber announced.

"Sure. When?" Derek asked.

"Right now". Webber said firmly.

They followed Richard Webber to his office. Both a little curious to what he wanted to talk to them about. They already figured it was quite serious.

"Where have you been, Three? You're 20 minutes late." Cristina barked when Lexie walked up to her.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Yang. Things took longer than expected". Lexie tried to explain.

"I don't care. Just be at work on time. You're covering the Pit today. Have fun" Cristina said mockingly and walked away.

Lexie sighed heavily. Thanks to Mark she had to work in the Pit instead of assisting on some awesome surgery. But she still loved him. And wouldn't trade him for anything.

"So. What do you say?" Webber asked.

"I think it would be exciting, and challenging. But I think we both have to talk to our girlfriends about this before we make a decision." Derek said, a little shocked.

"I agree. Thank you for the offer." Mark said.

"No problem. Do you think you could give me an answer by tomorrow?"

Mark and Derek looked at each other before answering.

"I think that will be alright." Derek said as they both got up from their chairs, ready to leave.

They walked out of the chief's office a little shocked. This was possibly the biggest opportunity of their careers. They couldn't say no to this.

"So… What do you think? Do you want to do it?" Mark asked his best friend as they walked through the hallway.

"I think I want to do it. Imagine all the experience!" Derek answered with a smile on his face.

"Yeah. But what about Lexie and Meredith?"

"I don't know. It will be difficult. But I think they can handle it together."

"I hope you're right." Mark said thoughtfully.

"Dr. Hunt. I'm on your service today." Lexie said as she approached Owen Hunt.

"Great. We have an incoming trauma in a few minutes." Owen said and walked out to the ambulance bay. Lexie following him.

The ambulance arrived. The doors opened and the paramedic got out with the gurney.

"Lewis Anderson, 6 year old male. Burned himself when the mom accidentally poured hot water over him. Nasty burn on the left arm."

"Trauma 2 is open." Owen announced as they started to wheel the gurney into the E.R.

"Hi, Lewis. I'm Lexie. Does your arm hurt?" Lexie asked her patient in a calming voice. It didn't look good and she didn't want to make the kid more scared.

"It hurts a lot. I want my mommy." Lewis said as tears welled up in his eyes.

"It's okay, sweetie. You're mommy will be here soon." Lexie said.

"Page Dr. Sloan." Owen said to a nurse when they arrived in the trauma room.

"How bad is it?" Lewis asked Lexie in horror

"I don't know yet. But don't worry. Dr. Sloan is the best surgeon in this hospital. He's an expert on burns like this and he's gonna take good care of you." Lexie assured him.

"Promise?" Lewis asked, calming down a bit at her words.

"Promise" Lexie answered with a soft smile.

Mark walked into the trauma room but stopped for a second when he saw Lexie. And suddenly guilt rushed over him. He immediately pushed the feeling aside and entered the room.

"What do we got?" he asked as he put on gloves.

"Lewis Anderson, 6 years old. Got a nasty burn on the left arm." Lexie told him.

"Okay Lewis. I'm Dr. Sloan. I'm gonna take a look now, okay?"

"Is it gonna hurt?" Lewis asked, fear covering his face.

"Maybe a little bit. But I'm right here" Lexie said and grabbed his other hand to support him.

After a quick examination, Mark had determined the damage and leaned to Owen.

"It looks like a third degree burn. He's gonna need skin grafting." Mark said quietly.

"I'll book an O.R." Owen responded and left the room.

Mark looked over at Lexie. He didn't have the strength right now to tell her. Suddenly he felt like he couldn't even be around her. "I'm… I just have to- to check on something. I'll be back before the surgery." Mark stuttered out and left the trauma room. That guilty feeling towards Lexie came back. He needed to think. And being around Lexie distracted him.

Lexie left the trauma room when Lewis' mother arrived. Mark had a look on his face that worried her and she wanted to talk to him about it. He never came back after he left which was pretty strange. Maybe she overreacted? Something didn't have to be wrong just because he had a strange look on his face that to her was a look saying that something was clearly wrong. And now she was rambling again. She definitely needed to talk to him. And she knew where she could find him.

Mark was standing in the scrub room, scrubbing in for Lewis' surgery. He was almost done when Lexie walked in.

"Hey." She said carefully. Not even knowing why.

"Hey." He responded. Not meeting her eyes.

"Everything okay?" She asked in a calm voice. As if someone just died.

"Yeah, sure." He answered. Still not meeting her eyes

"You seem a little… Off. You never came back."

"Oh. Well… It's kinda difficult when there's a kid involved in burns like these." He lied

"Mark, I know you. You don't care if it's an 80 year old or a newborn baby. You always handle it. And you're avoiding eye contact so I know something's wrong. What is it?"

"I don't have time for your overreacting right now. I have a life to save" he said firmly and left the scrub room.

She stayed in her spot, watching him start the surgery. She knew Mark. Those were clear signs from him that something was wrong. But she still didn't know what. At least he couldn't avoid her at home.

When Mark came home that night he found Lexie sitting on the couch. He knew he couldn't hide it anymore. He needed to tell her.

"Hey. How'd the surgery go?" she asked.

"It was successful. He should make a full recovery." He answered as he sat down beside her.

"Good." She said.

He took a deep breath. "Lexie… We need to talk." He said looking down at the hands in his lap. He didn't dare to look her in the eyes.

"Wow. You finally figured that one out, did you?" she said sarcastically.

"Don't be like that. This isn't easy for me." he said, still looking down.

"Fine. I'm sorry. What do you wanna talk about?" She asked. A bit nervous.

"The chief called me and Derek in today."

"Uhu?"

"He got a phone call from Doctors Without Borders, two of the surgeons that were going to Libya suddenly couldn't do it…"

"Okay…" She said, getting an pretty good idea of where this was going.

"Yeah… Well anyway. Webber asked us… If we wanted to go…" There. He did it. He finally got the words out that had been eating him from the inside all day.

"Okay… How long will you be gone?" she asked. She was afraid of the answer but she had to know.

"Five to six months. Could be longer". He answered. He looked up at her, preparing for her breakdown.

Five to six months. She could make it without him for that long. She was calm. It could've been worse. It could have been for a year. DWB was an important organization and they would get two of the best surgeons she knew. She couldn't protest.

Suddenly a pretty important question appeared in her head.

"When are you leaving?" She asked and looked up meeting his eyes for the first time since he came home.

There it was. The question he feared the most. And she looked him straight in the eyes. Her beautiful chocolate eyes that was now reminding him of a sad puppy. He broke eye contact and looked down at his hands again. He took a deep breath before answering her question.

"Next Wednesday…"

"That's… That's in 9 days, Mark." she stated. She felt tears welling up.

"I know." he answered.

"Can- Can you… Do me a favor?" She asked, looking down at her hands.

"Anything, Sweetheart." He said, looking up at her.

"Can you hold me? Because I think I'm gonna break any second now." Her voice broke and she couldn't keep the tears in anymore.

He didn't answer. He simply pulled her into his embrace and laid back on the couch so she could rest comfortably on his chest. He stroked her hair as she started to sob.

The real sobs didn't come until she realized that those strong arms that were now around her, that made her feel like home, were leaving her in 9 days. 9 days. She was having him for 9 more days and then she wouldn't see him for 6 months. She squeezed her eyes closed as she cried harder against his chest.

Mark held her and stroked her hair for about half an hour before Lexie's breathing slowed down and the sobs stopped. She had finally fallen asleep.

He didn't have the heart to wake her up so he carried her to their bed. He undressed her and tucked her in. He then undressed himself and laid down beside her, putting his arm around her waist.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart" he whispered and kissed her forehead.

Lexie woke up in the middle of the night. Her head was aching from all the crying. She looked at the alarm clock on her night stand. 4.23 a.m. She dreamt that Mark was leaving her in 9 days for a 6 months job in Africa. She moved her head to look at the sleeping man beside her whose arm was around her waist. Suddenly she realized that it wasn't a dream. He was in fact leaving her in 9 days for a 6 months job in Africa. Libya, more exactly. Wasn't Libya a dangerous place right now? It had been on the news a few days ago that there had been an earth quake and it was a big chance that Libya soon would be in some kind of war with Sudan. No wonder they needed all the help they could get through Doctors Without Borders.

If a war would start when he was there, those 6 months could turn into forever. He could die out there. Should she ask him not to go? No. She couldn't be that selfish.

Her heart was racing and she really needed to calm down. She moved Mark's arm gently and got out of bed. One of Marks sweatshirts was hanging on the chair so she put that on before going into the kitchen. She needed a glass of ice cold water. That should calm her nerves. For a second she considered a glass of vodka or Mark's single malt Scotch, but she quickly pushed that thought away. Since her dad became an alcoholic she made a rule to not drink when she was upset.

The ice cold water didn't work. Warm milk or tea didn't work either. Her heart was still racing, her BP probably reaching 200 and her breathing was heavy. Did she overreact? Maybe, but the love of her life was leaving and she didn't even know if he was gonna come back alive. That was the part that made her wanna scream at him and tell him not to go. She could make it without him for 6 months. But if he died… Suddenly that glass of Scotch started to sound more and more appealing. She got up from her chair at the kitchen counter and reached for the bottle on one of the shelfs. She didn't bother getting a glass. Unfortunately she rushed too much to get the bottle that she didn't get a good grip on it and it slipped out of her hands.

"Damn it!". Mark woke up to a crashing sound and Lexie's cursing voice.

He rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. 5.04. What was Lexie doing up now?

Mark quickly got out of bed and put on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

When he got to the kitchen he found Lexie on all fours on the floor, picking up small glass pieces and tried wiping the floor with a towel at the same time.

"Lexie. What the hell are you doing?" He asked worriedly.

"I was trying to get that stupid bottle down from the shelf and I dropped it." She said and kept picking up some broken glass.

"Let me do that, Lex." he said as he got down on his knees and started picking up the pieces carefully.

"I can do it, Mark. Go back to bed." She was getting annoyed.

"A piece of glass can get into your hand. I'll take care of it."

"Don't bother. You're leaving me for 6 months, I might as well get used to be doing things on my own." Her words came out more harsh than she intended to.

Mark stopped what he was doing and looked up at his girlfriend. It was first now he recognized the smell of the fluid on the floor. "Lex…" He started, not exactly knowing what to say.

"Don't! Don't do that!" She said angrily and got up from the floor.

"Don't do what?" He asked and got up as well.

"Don't use that nickname on me right now!" The nickname "Lex" had always been kind of specially reserved just for him and she didn't like it when he used it when she was angry at him. She started to pace by the counter and tried to get her thoughts straight.

"Okay. I'm sorry. But will you please talk to me?" He said in a calming voice.

She was breathing heavily. She couldn't even look at him but at the same time all she wanted was to be in his arms.

"Lexie. You're starting to scare me. Talk to me. Please." Mark pleaded. He hated it when she was upset. Even more when he knew that he was the reason.

"I don't want you to die!" She exclaimed.

"What?"

"I don't want you to die." She repeated looking him directly in the eyes. She stopped pacing and was getting a bit calmer. Maybe talk about it would help.

"What are you talking about? Why would I die?"

"Haven't you watched the news lately? There was an earthquake in Libya about a week ago. And experts says that there's a risk of war. If you go there, you could get killed. And I don't want you to get killed because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that's kinda soon to say because we've only been together for like a year but I really feel like-"

"Lexie!" Mark cut her off. "You're rambling. Calm down." Most of the time he enjoyed her classic Lexie rambling. But not when she was rambling about him dying.

"I don't think I can calm down." She said, tears escaping her eyes again.

"Come here" he said as he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I know there was an earthquake and that there's a possibility that a war could break out. But it'll be okay. I'll be okay. We have been guaranteed protection from the Army. Nothing will happen." he said as he stroked her hair.

"You can't know that for sure. What if there's a bomb or another earthquake? The Army can't protect you from that." She buried her head in the crook of his shoulder. She didn't want to talk to him into not leaving. But she wanted to make sure that he knew about the risks.

"Well… I guess that we will have to pray for our survival then." He said in a calming voice.

"I don't want you to go. But I don't want you not to go either. They need help. And you and Derek are two of the best surgeons I know. I can't be selfish. But you're leaving for 6 months, Mark. It's too long." She said and looked up at him.

"6 months will go by fast. And we will talk on the phone everyday." He said and caressed her cheek with his thumb.

She sighed and leaned in to his touch. "I'm gonna miss you so much." she said and closed her eyes.

"I'm gonna miss you too. But we still have 9 days together before I leave" He said and kissed her. "Let's go back to bed. We have a few hours before we have to go to work." He took her hand in his.

"I just need to go to the bathroom first. But you go ahead." She said and squeezed his hand encouragingly.

"Hurry." He said with a soft smile as he left for the bedroom.

When Mark was out of eyeshot she quickly went in to the bathroom and closed the door.

She turned around to the sink and turned on the water. She needed to cry but she didn't want Mark to hear it. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and watched herself break down in tears.

9 days.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning they didn't talk much. Mark didn't really know what to do or say to make Lexie feel better. He decided with giving her time instead. Pushing her could make more damage.

Today Mark and Derek were going to talk to the chief and get more information about the mission.

And then they would share the news with their colleagues during the staff meeting.

Mark and Lexie walked into the hospital and made their separate ways without a word.

Lexie went to the Resident's locker room to change into scrubs and Mark went to find Derek.

"Hey, Lexie." Meredith greeted when Lexie entered the locker room.

"Hey." Lexie answered, not meeting Meredith's eyes.

"I guess Mark told you?" Meredith asked.

"He did." Lexie said as she opened her locker and started changing into scrubs.

"How do you feel about it?" Meredith approached the subject carefully. She knew that her little sister was happy with Mark and that he meant a lot to her. Meredith didn't know how Lexie had reacted to the news.

"How do you think I feel? I'm pissed. But at the same time I'm proud that he is doing something this meaningful. But I'm scared, Meredith. What if they die out there? It's not exactly a safe environment." Lexie exclaimed, looking at her older sister, moving her arms around to make a point. "How are you handling this so well? Derek is leaving too, you know."

"Handling it well? Are you kidding? I freaked out when he told me! But as you said, it's something meaningful and I think they should go. We can only pray that they come back alive. Which I'm certain they will." Meredith said.

"I'm sorry, Meredith. I'm just scared of what might happen out there." Lexie said and put on her scrub top.

"It's okay, Lex. At least we got each other. We'll get through this together." Meredith said with a loving smile.

"I know." Lexie said and returned the smile.

"Ready to make this official?" Chief Webber asked outside the conference room where the Attendings held their daily staff meeting.

"I guess so." Derek answered, looking at Mark for confirmation.

"Let's do this." Mark said, meeting Derek's eyes.

They entered the room where the rest of the attendings, Teddy Altman, Arizona Robbins, Owen Hunt, Callie Torres and Miranda Bailey, already had taken a seat. Mark sat down beside Callie and Derek took a seat between Bailey and Owen.

"Good morning." Webber greeted with a smile.

"Good morning, Chief." They responded almost in unison.

"Before we start the meeting, I have some news to share. Well, me, Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Sloan, more exactly." Webber said as he sat down, looking at Derek and Mark before continuing.

"A few days ago I received a phone call from Doctors Without Borders. Two of the doctors that were going to Libya suddenly were prevented for some unknown reason. I was asked if I had two surgeons that could take their places. And I thought that Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Sloan were perfect for the job." Webber announced, every now and then looking at Derek and Mark. "And they accepted the offer." Webber finished.

The room was quiet for a moment before Callie broke the silence.

"How long will they be gone?" She asked.

"We don't really know exactly. But probably 5 to 6 months." Webber answered.

"It could be longer." Derek added.

"When do you leave?" Owen asked.

"Next Wednesday." Derek answered.

"What about substitute doctors? We will need attendings." Bailey said.

"I will start applying for substitutes this afternoon." Webber answered. "Anymore questions regarding this?" Webber asked. His staff shook their head no. "Okay then. So. What do we got for today?"

"You haven't said a word to each other all morning?" Meredith asked as she walked through the hallway.

"No." Lexie answered, looking down at the floor.

"Why? You can't just stop talking!"

"I just… Don't know what to say." Lexie said.

"Well, not talking is not healthy for your relationship. And you live together so you will have to talk to him eventually." Meredith explained.

"I know, I know." Lexie answered. Her sister was right. Not talk to her boyfriend wouldn't solve anything.

They stopped briefly as Meredith's pager began to beep.

"The E.R. Sorry, Lex. I have to go." Meredith said.

"It's okay. I have some patients to check on, anyway." Lexie said with a knowing look. "See you later."

"See you later, sis." Meredith said and started walking towards the E.R. "Talk to him!" She called out before she rounded the corner.

Lexie smiled at her sisters way before she headed towards her first patients room. Maybe that little kid could cheer her up.

"Mark!" Callie called after him when they left the conference room.

"Hey Cal." Mark greeted as she walked up to him.

"So… You're leaving." She stated.

"I am." Mark confirmed.

"How did Lexie take the news?" Callie asked as they kept walking, nowhere in particular.

"Not well. We haven't talked since last night." Mark answered. "I'm giving her time."

"That's probably good. She'll talk when she's ready." Calle said knowingly.

"I hope that will be soon, 'cause I can't take it when she's upset." Mark said.

"I'm sure it will, Mark. She loves you." Callie said, putting a hand on his shoulder. She knew he was struggling with this. "You know what we should do?" She asked, an idea forming in her head.

"What?" He asked, looking up at her.

"We should throw a going away party. You know, just for our closest friends. Something to take our minds of the fact that you guys are leaving us for 6 freaking months." Callie said with a encouraging smile.

"That's not a bad idea. Talk to Derek about it. His house is big enough for a party." Mark said, mirroring Callie's smile.

"Good idea! I'll go talk to him right now. See you later." Callie said, patting Mark's back before she left. The party was a great idea. Hopefully Lexie would agree.

Mark went to the nurses station to grab a few charts. He had patients to check on. First stop for the day: Lewis Anderson.

Lexie stood outside Lewis' room. She knew she had to put her personal problems aside. So she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and counted to five. She opened her eyes and put on her 'doctor face' before she entered the room.

"Hey Lewis. How are you today?" She asked with a smile.

"It hurts a little bit. And it's itchy at the same time." Lewis said.

"It's good that it's itchy. It means it's healing the way it's supposed to. I'm just gonna take a quick look to check okay?" Lexie said as she started to remove the patch.

The wound was still red. But that was to be expected. it had only been around 24 hours since the surgery. It should heal nicely.

"It looks good. Dr. Sloan did a fine job." Lexie said after a quick exam.

"When can he go home?" Lewis' mom asked.

"Probably in a few days. I think Dr. Sloan would like to keep him here at least one more night for observation." Lexie explained.

"That sounds about right, Dr. Grey." Mark said as he entered the room.

"Dr. Sloan" Lexie greeted, not meeting his eyes. She hadn't realized he was entering the room. For a minute she had forgot that Lewis was his patient too and that she probably would have to face him.

"Would you like to present?" Mark asked. If she wasn't willing to talk to him personally she should at least talk to him professionally. After all, he was her teacher and not only her boyfriend.

"Lewis Anderson, 6 years old. Post-op day 1 for skin grafting due to a burn after a hot water incident." Lexie presented, smiling at Lewis.

"Further treatment?"

"Keep an eye on the graft to make sure it heals properly and change the dressing two to three times a day." Lexie answered.

"Sounds good, Dr. Grey." Mark said. Lexie was gonna become an excellent doctor. He just knew it.

"Okay. I have other patients to check on. But I'll be back later. And remember, no scratching." Lexie said with a smile before she left the room. She headed towards the nurses station to get her other patient's chart and she could feel Mark's presence behind her all the way.

"Mr. Wayne's chart, please." She requested as she approached the counter. She leered at Mark who was making some notes in Lewis' chart. She received the requested chart and made some notes as well. They were quiet for a moment before Lexie finally decided to break the silence.

"So… I suppose you told the rest of the attendings at the meeting this morning." She said, trying not to sound too harsh.

"Yeah, we did." Mark answered, his attention on his writing.

"So it's official now…" Lexie stated as she put her pen in her coat pocket.

"It is." Mark confirmed as he finished up the chart and handed it to Olivia. "Look, Lexie. I don't know what to say or do to make you feel better about this." He said and looked at her pleadingly.

Lexie knew Mark so well, and she knew that he really felt guilty about this. Now she felt so stupid and childish for treating him this way, not talking to him. It wasn't fair to him.

"You don't have to do or say anything. You made a decision and I'm so proud of you for doing this. I really am. I just need a little time to process, that's all." She answered, meeting his eyes.

"So you're not mad at me?" He asked, a little surprised.

"No, of course not! I could never be mad at you. Not for this at least." She said, moving a little closer to him. "I'm sorry if I made you think that."

"You don't have to apologize for anything. I on the other hand do. I'm sorry this was so fast forward. I wish it wasn't." He said, looking down at the floor. He still felt guilty. And she noticed that.

"Mark. Look at me." She said, moving her hand to his cheek.

He took a breath before meeting her eyes again.

"I love you." She said and caressed his cheek with her thumb.

"I love you too." He said and leaned in to kiss her.

"Hey! Guess what!" Callie exclaimed happily as she approached to the kissing couple.

"What?" Mark said, breaking the kiss but kept his attention on Lexie.

"I talked to Derek. And he agreed to have the party at his house!" Callie was almost jumping with excitement. Like a kid on Christmas morning.

"What party?" Lexie asked, looking between Mark and Callie.

"Callie thought that we should have a party before we leave. Like a going away party." Mark explained and regretted not bringing it up earlier.

"Oh." Lexie was a little taken aback but quickly adjusted to the idea. "Sounds like a good idea." She said, managing out a small smile.

"Maybe we could have it the night before you leave? Like a last goodbye?" Callie suggested.

"Sure, why not?" Mark responded and looked at Lexie. Wondering what she was thinking.

"Great. We'll talk more about it later. Right now I have a surgery. See you for lunch?" Callie asked Mark.

"Sounds good to me." He responded, patting her shoulder.

"Great. And you know you're of course welcome to join us, Little Grey" Callie said to Lexie.

"I know. Thanks." Lexie answered with a smile.

"See you later then." Callie said as she left.

"A going away party, huh?" Lexie asked.

"Yeah. Sorry. I forgot to mention that." Mark said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"No, it's okay. It's a great idea actually. I just thought that I would have you to myself your last night home." Lexie said a little sad.

"You will. It's only the evening you will have to share me." He said jokingly. "And besides. The plane doesn't departure 'til 1 o'clock pm. So we will have the night and the morning to ourselves." He added, winking.

For the first time that day, Lexie actually laughed. Somehow, no matter how upset she was, Mark always managed to make her laugh.

"Well, I better get going, I have a cranioplasty with Derek before lunch. See you." Mark said before kissing her goodbye.

"See you" Lexie said as he walked away.

A big weight had left her shoulders. She and Mark had made up. No one was mad at the other. They had talked about it and she felt so much better. Now she just had to process the fact that he was leaving in 8 days. In that moment, she decided to stop feeling sad about it and instead start to enjoy the last days she had with him. With that, she grabbed some charts and went on to do her work.

 **AN: First of all. Thank you so much for the reviews and response to the first chapter. I actually hadn't counted on that. It makes me so happy and I really want to keep this story going. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it was a little shorter and it was a lot of dialog. But I wanted to get it out for you. And from now on I will update once a week.  
Next chapter will feature a pretty big incident. Can you guess what? :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: First of all. I think I need to warn you. I am dark and twisty and I love angst and tragedies. And I love protective and caring Mark. So don't think for a second that this is gonna be a story full of rainbows and unicorns ;) But don't worry. They'll get there. Thanks for all the reviews and follows/favorites. It makes me wanna keep going! :D And Saturday will be my publishing day from now on. Enjoy :)**

After a lunch with Callie, Mark and Lexie decided to go to Starbucks across the street from the hospital to grab a cop of coffee and just spend time together. Since they didn't have that long of a break, they decided to take the coffee in a to go-mug and take a short walk around the block.

"How did your surgery with Derek go?" Lexie asked as she sipped her vanilla latte.

"It was successful. As always when Derek and I perform a surgery together." Mark said, with a wink.

"You're gonna make a great team down in Libya." Lexie stated.

"I think so too." Mark said looking down at her at her statement. "So… You've accepted the situation?" Mark asked.

"Yeah. I think I have. I just need a little more time to adjust. But other than that. Yes." Lexie answered thoughtfully. "You're doing a very meaningful thing. And as I said before, I'm proud of you." She added, looking up at him.

Mark smiled at her as they kept walking. Suddenly he heard a strange noise from behind. A car. It sounded like it was going really fast. The engines squealing because of a low gear. He also heard screaming, people yelling things like "Move!" "Watch out!" "Look out for that car!". He turned around and saw the car that was running towards him and Lexie on the sidewalk. Somehow in all of his thoughts he managed to react quickly. He threw his coffee, grabbed Lexie by her shoulders and pushed her against the wall of the building right next to them and protected her by covering her with his body. The car missed them with what felt like just a few inches and crashed into a pole.

Lexie didn't have a millisecond to react to what was happening when Mark suddenly threw her against the wall. In a reflex she grabbed Mark's arms tightly, like her life depended on it. She couldn't see much because of him covering her. But she did hear a large crashing noise.

After a moment she looked up at him, searching his eyes, hands still tight around his arms. She was breathing heavily and she felt his breath on her forehead as well. The adrenalin shooting through both of them.

"You okay?" He asked, looking down at her.

"Yeah, I- I think so. What about you?" She replied.

"Yeah. I'm… I'm alright." He answered, loosing the grip on her shoulders.

"What happened?" Lexie asked as she loosened the grip on Mark's arms. It was like the time was going in slow motion, although everything happened so fast.

"The car almost ran us down." Mark said, taking a step back from her.

They started to calm down and their minds were coming back to reality. They both looked towards the car that almost killed them. Smoke was coming out of the bonnet.

Since they were both doctors, they figured it was time to come back to reality and start to help the possible injured people in the car. And make sure no one else was hurt.

They ran towards the car. Mark took the driver side and Lexie took the passenger side.

"Sir. My name is Mark. I'm a doctor. Can you tell me your name?" Mark asked the driver who smelled like alcohol.

"Fuck off!" The driver blurred out.

"Sir. You were in a car accident. I need to examine you. Does it hurt anywhere?" Mark asked.

"Go to hell" The driver said and avoided eye contact. He was clearly confused due to all the alcohol.

"Mark!" Lexie called for his attention from the other side of the car.

He walked over to Lexie who was looking inside the window of the backseat door. "There's a kid in there, about 2 years old. He's not responding. We need to get this door open, now." Lexie said with a slight panic in the tone.

Mark sighed heavily, trying to think of a plan. "Anyone got a crowbar?" Mark asked the people standing around the scene. "I have one in the trunk!" a man exclaimed and went to get it.

"Okay. You call 911 and I'll get that door open. The driver doesn't seem hurt but he's intoxicated with alcohol. Could you keep an eye on him?" Mark asked, putting his hand on her shoulder supportingly. He knew that Lexie had been in a bad place with her father a few times when he had been drunk, and that had made her feel a little insecure around intoxicated people. She didn't trust them.

"Yeah. I can do that." Lexie answered as she grabbed her phone and dialed 911.

" _911, what's your emergency?"_ The lady on the other end said.

"Hi. This is Dr. Lexie Grey from Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. There's been a car accident on 4th avenue. The driver is drunk and there's a kid in the backseat. We're not aware of his injuries yet, but it doesn't look good." Lexie explained.

" _We'll send you an ambulance and the police. They should be there in about 5 minutes."_

"Thank you." Lexie said as she hung up the phone and went to check on the drunk driver.

"Sir. Does it hurt anywhere?" Lexie asked.

"Get away from me, bitch!" The driver shouted.

"Sir. I'm a doctor, I need to examine you to make sure you're not seriously injured."

"Don't touch me!" The driver screamed as Lexie reached out her hand to check his pulse. She took a step back and decided to just keep an eye on him and let the police deal with him.

Mark managed to break the door open with the crowbar and some help from the man who lend him the tool. The boy was unconscious, probably a concussion. But his pulse was normal. Mark leaned the boy back in his seat and kept his head steady to avoid more, if any, neck injuries.

A few minutes later the ambulance arrived. The paramedics approached Mark and helped him with the boy.

"How is he?" The paramedic asked.

"He's unconscious. His pulse is normal and he's breathing. But I don't know about any neck injuries." Mark said and received a collar to support the neck. "I suspect a concussion, though." he added.

"Okay. Let's take him to the ambulance." The paramedic said as they started to lift the boy onto the gurney.

"Can I go with you?" Mark asked. It wasn't his job, but the boy was his patient now, wether it was plastic related or not.

"Sure, Doc." The paramedic answered.

"Thanks. Just give me a second. I'll be right there." Mark said as he ran over to Lexie, who was watching the police take care of the driver.

"How is he?" Mark asked.

"I don't know. He still won't let me examine him. But he's awake and responsive. They are gonna take him to the police station. How's the boy?" Lexie asked, looking up at him worried.

"He's still unconscious. We're taking him to the hospital now. I'm riding with them." Mark answered.

"Okay. I'll just stay here in case the police will need my help. See you at the hospital." Lexie said and put her hand on his arm.

"See you." He said as he walked back to the ambulance.

Lexie watched as the ambulance drove away towards the hospital. The police put the driver in their car and drove away as well. They told her they had a doctor at the police station, and they would bring him to the hospital if necessary. They also would try to find the boys mom. Two of the cops stayed at the scene to talk to some witnesses.

Lexie walked over to the wall that Mark had pushed her against and leaned back against it.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She almost died. Mark almost died. He saved her life.

Then her ears caught something. One of the witness talking to the cops were telling them something that caught her attention.

"The car was running in like 25 miles per hour on the sidewalk where the doctors were walking. They didn't walk that close to each other and I noticed the car was running more towards the woman than the man. He was taking a big risk when he threw himself over her. A second too late and he would have been run over when saving her life. If he hadn't done anything the car would have taken her and he would've been okay. He's a freaking hero." The witness was rambling.

He could have died. Mark Sloan could actually have died just because of saving her life. What the hell was he thinking? He shouldn't have done that. He wasn't hurt but like the witness said, a second too late and he would have…

Lexie was suddenly furious at his irresponsible behavior. Was that the way he was going to act in Africa? Making bad decisions like that?  
She would have a serious talk with him. Her feet started moving to the direction of the building where she knew he was. She was scared, angry, mentally overwhelmed and she was sure she was overreacting. But she couldn't help it. She could have lost him because of his decision. Didn't he understand what it would do to her if he died? She clenched her hands into fists, the knuckles turning white. She was seeing red.

In the E.R Mark was working with Owen and Arizona to save the boys life. He was still unconscious so they had paged Derek.

"So his dad was driving drunk with the kid in the car?" Arizona asked.

"We don't know if the driver is the father, but yeah. He was driving drunk." Mark confirmed a bit annoyed. What was wrong with people driving after drinking? Even worse when a kid was in the car. Lucky for the driver he didn't kill anyone.

"Are you and Lexie okay?" Owen asked.

"Yeah, we're fine." Mark said. He thought back to the moment when he realized what was happening. The car was actually running more towards Lexie. He didn't think when he pushed her aside. He could have gotten himself killed in the process.

"Sats are dropping" Mark was brought back to reality by Owen's observation.

"You paged me." Derek said as he walked in.

"A little boy, about two years old. Possible concussion." Arizona informed.

Derek nodded and checked the pupils with his lamp. "The pupils are dilated. We should get a head CT."

"Let's intubate first to clear his airway." Owen commanded and prepared the intubation kit.

Mark took a step back since there wasn't really anything he could do for the boy right now. He watched Owen intubate. Suddenly he heard quick, angry footsteps and in the corner of his eye he saw someone approaching him. He didn't have time to react before Lexie, with all her power, pushed him as hard as she possibly could.

"What the hell Mark!?" Lexie screamed and pushed him repeatedly until he was against the wall. "You idiot! You could have died! You could have freaking died because you just had to save my life! What the hell were you thinking!?" She screamed, hitting him on his upper chest.

"Lexie! Stop that! Just calm down and listen to me." Mark said as calm as he could and tried to grip her wrists. But she was a strong woman.

She didn't listen. She kept hitting him and screaming at him until Derek got a good grip and pulled her away. She was fighting it like a wild animal. "Let me go!" She screamed.

"Not until you calm down!" Derek told her firmly as he locked his arms around her from behind and held on tight so she wouldn't 'escape'.

She fought Derek's tight grip on her for a little while until she finally gave up and started sobbing.

"Take the patient to CT." Derek ordered, not ready to lose the grip just yet.

Owen, Arizona and the nurse all nodded as they started wheeling the gurney out of the room.

Mark was looking at Lexie. She didn't meet his eyes.

She had never reacted like this before. She never hit him before. She was really freaking out.

"Can- can you let me go now?" Lexie asked, still sobbing and crying her eyes out. "I won't attack him a- again. I pro- promise." she stuttered out.

Derek looked at Mark, waiting for his confirmation to letting Lexie go.

Mark nodded his head once. He wasn't sure if Lexie was telling the truth about not attacking him again, but that was a risk he had to take, and he had Derek to restrain her if necessary.

Derek slowly loosed his grip around Lexie's sobbing form. He then took a step back to show her that she was free to go.

Mark was prepared for another attack. But instead she looked at him for a short moment and then just walked out of the room without saying a word.

"She's clearly not okay. I think you should talk to her." Derek said.

Mark took a deep breath. Derek was right, she was not okay. And it was his own fault.

He decided to find her and solve this. He knew that she knew that even though she was mad at him, he was the only one who could comfort her.

Mark walked out of the room towards the direction that Lexie left.

"Did Dr. Grey come by here? Lexie Grey." He asked a nurse. He still wasn't used to the fact that there were two Dr. Grey in the hospital.

"Yeah, she entered that supply closet." The nurse answered and pointed to the supply closet a few doors away.

"Thanks." He said and slowly walked towards the door.

He stopped outside as he heard Lexie's sobbing. Poor thing, she was mentally exhausted. He took a moment before he opened the door and walked in.

Lexie sat down in the supply closet. Her breathing was uneven and heavy, she was shaking and felt dizzy. She knew the symptoms, she was having a panic attack.

She didn't have to look up to know who was entering through the door. Like a knight in shining armor he always showed up when she needed him the most. Even though she was violent towards him just recently.

"Lexie." Mark said and looked down at her worried as he closed the door. "Sweetheart…" He didn't know what to say. She was shaking uncontrollably and she looked like she was gonna pass out as she cried her eyes out.

He sat down beside her and started stroking her back soothingly. "Okay, slow down. Slow, deep breaths." He instructed.

"I ca- can't." She stuttered out and shook her head.

"Yes, you can. I'm right here. Slow, deep breaths." Mark said and thought back to the time when Derek told him about when he had comforted Meredith in this very exact situation. Derek had told him about the paper bag that Meredith used to steady her breathing.

Lexie was really trying to do what Mark told her, but it wasn't as easy as it seemed. Maybe the paper bag would help.

Mark looked around on the shelf and immediately saw the box with paper bags in it.

"I'm just gonna reach for something, okay? But I'm right here." Mark said, stroking her back assuringly before he stood up and quickly grabbed one of the bags and then quickly sat down again.

"Here, breathe into this." He said as he unfolded the bag and helped her place it over her mouth.

"Remember. Slow, deep breaths." He said and took her hand in his and squeezed it. "I'm right here." he added.

She welcomed the paper bag that actually helped her steady her breaths. However that was possible. She squeezed his hand as if to make sure he was still there. She needed him to help her get through this.

A few breaths later her breathing was steady and even. She was still shaking and felt dizzy though. But that was easy taken care of by resting.

She took a few more breaths before she removed the paper bag.

"There you go." Mark said encouragingly and pulled a strain of hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry…" She said, looking down. She didn't have the strength to meet his eyes just yet.

"It's okay, Sweetie. I would have reacted the exact same way." He said, searching her eyes.

"You could have died." She stated. Still not looking at him.

"And you would have died if I didn't throw myself over you." He responded.

He did have a good point. She hadn't thought of that, actually. Since when did she become so selfish? She was so obsessed with the horrifying thought of losing him that she didn't think about that he was just as afraid of losing her.

"I guess I owe you thanks." She said, looking up at him. "Thank you. For saving my life and helping me through a panic attack."

"No problem." He said with a smile.

She was silent for a moment. "You don't have to stay here, I know you hate me." She said, letting go of his hand.

"What? I don't hate you. Why would I hate you?" He asked, surprised.

"Well… I hit you, remember?" She said, fumbling with her hands. She felt guilty about that. She knew that the hitting wasn't necessary. Just yelling at him would've been enough.

"I do remember. And you suck at that by the way. It didn't even hurt." He said jokingly.

To Mark's delight she actually laughed at his comment. That laugh was like music to his ears.

"Lucky for you, I suppose." Lexie said, looking up at him with a smile. Her shaking had almost ceased.

They looked each other in the eyes for a moment before Mark's pager went off.

He sighed as he checked the page. "I'm sorry, Lex. I have to go." He said, looking at her a little bit disappointed.

"It's okay." Lexie said with an assuring smile.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked. He didn't want to leave unless he was 100% sure she was alright.

"Positive." She said, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

"Okay, I'll find you later." He said and kissed her softly. His hand reached up to caress her cheek.

She returned the kiss and deepened it a little. Her hand rested on his forearm.

They broke the kiss when Mark's pager went off again.

"You should go." Lexie said, smiling at him.

"I'll see you later." Mark said and caressed her cheek with his thumb before he got up and left the supply closet.

Lexie decided to stay for a moment to gather herself. She slowly stood up and took a deep breath. She was okay. Thanks to Mark she was now okay. He really was her knight in shining armor.

And she loved him so much.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks again for all the reviews and favs/follows. It means so much and it makes me so happy! I'm so glad that you like this story. Not sure how you're gonna feel further down the road though... :P And just to answer some questions. It's gonna be mainly Slexie with a slight hint of Merder. And just to be clear, Derek was never chief in my world. I think Derek turned into a different person during that period.  
This chapter is rated M. I warned you. Enjoy :)**

Mark didn't feel confident about leaving Lexie in the supply closet. But the page from Owen had said "Police. Urgent".

Lexie had just recovered from a panic attack, she needed his support.

He would make this as quick as possible and then find her to make sure she was still alright.

"You paged me?" Mark asked as he approached Owen Hunt who was talking to a police officer.

"Yeah. The police wants to talk to you about the car accident." Hunt said and looked at the officer.

"Dr. Sloan. I'm officer Bellick. Can we go someplace private?" The officer asked as he showed Mark his batch.

"Yes, of course. This way." Mark said and led the officer into a exam room.

"What do you want to talk about?" Mark asked as he sat down on a chair.

"We identified the father and we found the boys mother. She's with him now." officer Bellick told him.

"Okay, that's good." Mark said relieved.

"I just need your statement. Can you tell me what happened?" Bellick asked.

Mark knew he would have to retell the story eventually. But it wasn't something he was looking forward to. He had been so scared and he was absolute certain that he or Lexie would've died.

He took a deep breath to gather his thoughts before he started telling the officer what happened.

"My girlfriend and I were walking on the sidewalk…"

When Lexie finally came out of the supply closet she got a page from Derek. He wanted to see her in one of the conference rooms.

When she arrived, Derek and a older man were talking outside of the room.

Through the big window into the room she saw Gary Clark talking to his lawyer.

Gary Clark was the husband of Alison Clark who Lexie and Derek had to take off of life support. Mr. Clark had sued the hospital about a week ago.

"Derek. You paged me?" Lexie asked as she approached the talking men.

"Yes. This is Larry Jennings. Seattle Grace Mercy West's lawyer."

"Oh. Nice to meet you Mr. Jennings. I'm Dr. Lexie Grey". Lexie said as she shook hands with Larry.

"Likewise. We are having a hearing with Mr. Clark and his lawyer. We need you to make your statement and answer some questions. You are the one who pulled the plug on Mrs. Clark, is that correct?" Jennings asked.

"Yes. That's correct." Lexie answered.

"Okay. Let's go inside. Just answer the questions." Jennings told both Lexie and Derek before they walked in.

Lexie felt Gary Clark's disgusted look on her as soon as they walked in.

"What is she doing here?" Gary asked. "She's the one who murdered Alison. I don't want her here." He said.

"Mr. Clark, Dr. Grey is here to answer some questions."

"How could you?" Gary asked and looked at Lexie with a furious look. Like the one Lexie had towards Mark. "How could you just kill her like that?"

"Mr. Clark, I…" Lexie started but was cut off.

"You killed her! Your hands killed my Alison. You don't deserve to live!" He yelled.

Lexie was taken aback at his words. She didn't know what to say.

"Mr. Clark. I'm so sorry for your loss." She said in a comforting tone. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes again. Like she hadn't cried enough the last few days.

"You're a murderer. You both are! You could have saved her but you chose to kill her!" Gary yelled at Lexie and Derek. "You are going to regret your decision. I'm going to make you pay for what you did." He said in a threatening tone and looked between Derek and Lexie before he walked out of the room.

"Mr. Jennings, I think we should have this hearing some other time." Gary Clark's lawyer suggested and followed Gary out of the room.

Lexie was stunned. Mr. Clark was so angry. He had every right to be of course. But there was something else. He was threatening them. He couldn't possibly do something to hurt them could he?

"Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Sorry about that." Mr. Jennings said to Derek and Lexie.

"It's okay. He's grieving. He's allowed to do that." Derek said knowingly. "Just give me a call when you get a new date for a new hearing." Derek requested.

"Will do." Jennings responded as he walked away.

"How are you holding up?" Derek asked Lexie and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine. Just a little overwhelmed." Lexie said looking up at Derek. "You don't think he meant what he said, do you?"

"About what?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow at her question.

"About making us pay for what we did." Lexie said.

"No, no. I don't think he meant that. He's just angry at the situation and unfortunately, he's blaming us." Derek said and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "I don't think he's going to do anything."

"Okay, good." Lexie said nodding, not really convinced.

"You should go home. You've had a rough day." Derek said.

"I'm fine, my shift ends in two hours." Lexie said with a small smile.

"May be, but you can leave earlier. I think we'll manage without you." Derek said jokingly.

"If it's okay with you." Lexie said. Maybe it would do her good to go home. And Mark will be home soon anyway.

"I'm the one who suggested it so yeah, it's okay with me. Go home, Lexie. See you tomorrow." Derek said and patted her shoulder before he left. Lexie headed for the other direction towards the locker rooms.

Mark felt sick when he walked out of the room after talking to officer Bellick.

He could have lost Lexie today. That thought only made him want to throw up.

"Thank you Dr. Sloan. I'll give you a call if we need anymore information." Officer Bellick told Mark and shook his hand.

Mark didn't answer. All he could think about was the car running towards him and Lexie. This was a memory that probably would haunt him forever. Luckily his shift was ending now so he could go home.

Mark just wanted to make a quick stop to check on the little boy.

The room wasn't too far away. He first walked to the nurses station to get the chart.

Everything looked okay. He had suffered a mild concussion and was now awake. Other than that he was fine, according to the chart.

Mark looked up from the chart and suddenly stopped in the doorway, eyes wide.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Lexie was relieved when she entered the apartment. Today had totally sucked. She couldn't remember the last time she cried this much in just one day. She couldn't wait for Mark to get home. All she wanted right now was to snuggle into his embrace. Feel his safe arms around her.

She went to the kitchen and filled up a glass of water and sat down on the couch. She reached for the remote control and turned the TV on. Mark would be home in a while so in the meantime she thought she could lay down and close her eyes for just a little while.

She listened to the voices on the TV and slowly drifted off to sleep.

"You're the one who drove the car." Mark stated, looking at the man in front of him. He immediately recognized him from the car accident. "How the hell did they let you go?" Mark asked in a furious tone.

"They didn't. I'm here for an exam. I just wanted to see my boy first." The man said and picked up the boy into his arms.

"Put him down." Mark said firmly.

"You can't tell me what to do." The man answered mockingly.

"Put the boy down now." Mark repeated.

"What are you gonna do? Knock me down?" The man asked laughing.

"I might." Mark answered. He didn't want to threat the man, but he was a danger to the boy and he didn't trust him.

"Fine." The man said and put the boy down.

Mark walked over to the bed where the boy laid. He wanted to make sure the dad didn't do any harm. As he got closer to the bed he didn't have time to react to the fist coming to his cheek.

The punch knocked him down to the floor. Everything went so fast. He briefly saw the man take the boy and leave the room.

"Oh my God! Mark, what happened?" Callie asked in shock as she walked into the room.

"The driver just took the kid and left. Call security." Mark said as he slowly stood up.

Callie quickly ran out of the room to get a nurse to call security. Mark followed her. The punch didn't do any serious damage, but he felt a little weird due to the fall.

"Mark, are you okay?" Callie asked worried.

"I'm fine." Mark said annoyed.

"Are you sure?" Callie asked.

"Yes. I am fine!" Mark said, raising his voice.

"Okay." Callie responded calmly.

"How the hell could I let this happen?" Mark asked, calming down a bit.

"You couldn't have known." Callie said, trying to comfort her friend.

"I should have called security right away. Damn it!" Mark said angrily and started pacing.

"Mark, calm down. The police are on it. You should go home." Callie said.

"No." Mark responded firmly. As much as he wanted to go home to be with Lexie, he couldn't just leave this situation.

"Mark. Listen to me. There's nothing else you can do. Go home. Lexie is waiting for you." Callie explained clearly.

Mark just kept pacing. A habit he somehow picked up from Lexie.

"Are you gonna leave on your own, or am I gonna have to kick your ass all the way home?" Callie asked with a slight tone of humor.

"Fine. I'm leaving. But call me when you find the boy." Mark said, pointing a finger at her.

"Of course." Callie replied with a calm smile.

Mark was furious. How the hell could he let this happen? If something were to happen to that little boy it would be all his fault.

He angrily opened his locker and gathered his stuff before he started to change into his street clothes. He pulled off his scrub shirt and threw it into the locker.

When he was fully dressed he slammed the locker shut and went out of the room. He couldn't wait to get home so he could fill up a glass of scotch. He knew he had another bottle except the one that Lexie broke the night before.

He angrily walked through the hospital out to the parking lot and got into his car.

A voice in the back of his head told him to calm down and take a few deep breaths. He remembered the time in traffic school when they were learning about road rage, and driving when you're stressed or upset. He didn't need two near death experiences in one day.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to get his heart rate down.

He then figured he probably should text Lexie. He grabbed the phone out of his pocket and brought Lexie's contact to the screen. The contact photo of her was a selfie of the two of them. It was his favorite photo of him and Lexie. He made a mental note to print the photo so he could keep it in his wallet when he left for Africa.

 _'Leaving the hospital now. Be home soon.'_ he typed and hit send.

He started the car, put it into Drive and drove off.

Lexie was brought out of sleep when her phone buzzed on the coffee table. She rubbed her eyes and yawned before she grabbed the phone to check her message.

She smiled as she read the text from Mark. He would be coming through that door in just minutes.

Her attention was caught by the TV when she heard some familiar lines from one of her favorite comedy shows, Friends. She remembered watching it when she was in her early teenage years. She remembered having a crush on Chandler and wanting Rachel's hair. Jennifer Aniston didn't look a day older now compared to the 90's.

She smiled watching the show for a while until she heard the door opening. Mark was finally home.

She almost jumped up from the couch when the door slammed shut.

"Mark? What's going on?" She asked worried as she got up and approached him. "Oh my God! What happened to you?" She asked in horror as she noticed the red mark on his cheek.

"The drunk driver knocked me down and kidnapped the boy." Mark said angrily. He had held it inside of him the whole ride home. Now he finally could let it out. He walked over to the cabinet where they kept the alcohol and brought down a bottle of scotch and a glass. He needed a drink. Maybe several.

"What? Did the driver come to the hospital?" Lexie asked puzzled.

"Obviously." Mark responded annoyed as he poured the scotch in the glass.

"Well, what happened?" Lexie asked and stroked his back, like he had done for her earlier.

Mark softened to her touch. But he was still angry. He brought the glass to his mouth and took a big gulp of the scotch. He gathered his thoughts and took a breath before he met Lexie's soft, brown eyes.

"Somehow he escaped from the cops and was going to take the kid away. He punched me as I was trying to take the kid away from him." Mark said in a low voice.

"And he escaped with the kid." Lexie stated.

"Yeah. Callie is gonna give me a call as soon as she has some news." Mark said, looking down at the counter.

"Oh Mark…" Lexie breathed and brought her fingers to his cheek, gently caressing the red mark.

"It's my fault if anything happens to that kid. I should have called security right away." He said before he took another sip, draining it.

"No, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known he was gonna take the kid." Lexie said comforting.

"It is my fault. I let it happen." Mark said, getting angry again.

"Stop it! Stop blaming yourself. The police should have kept a better eye on him." Lexie reasoned.

"It doesn't matter, Lexie. The point is, I should have called security instead of try handling it myself." Mark said, raising his voice. "If anything happens to that boy, it's on me." He said and pulled her hand away from his cheek.

Lexie was shocked when Mark removed her hand from him. He obviously didn't want her comfort right now. She looked at him sadly as he poured another glass and drained the fluid in one gulp. Tears started to form in her eyes. Again.

"Do- Do you want to be alone for a while? Should I leave?" Lexie asked in a soft voice, looking down at the floor.

Mark was taken aback at her question. He looked at her questioningly. "What? No." He answered shaking his head. He knew deep down that she just wanted to help. He didn't mean to be harsh.

"Okay." Lexie answered, almost whispering. She refused to give in to the tears. She'd cried enough for one day. She blinked away the tears and looked up at him. Meeting his ice blue eyes.

"In fact… I need you, Lex." Mark stated in a low voice.

"What?" Lexie asked, confused.

"I need you." He repeated and closed the gap between them, capturing her lips with his own in a desperate kiss. He was mentally overwhelmed, he didn't know what he was thinking anymore. And the alcohol didn't help his case. All he knew was that he suddenly needed Lexie to comfort him. He felt bad for barking at her when all she wanted to do was make him feel better.

Lexie returned the kiss, if confused. A moment ago he didn't want her to touch him and suddenly he was attacking her lips. She reached up and locked her arms around his neck to bring herself closer to him. A moan escaped her as he grabbed her ass and lifted her up. Her legs moved around his hips and she could feel his erection.

He easily moved them to the bedroom and put her down on the bed. Their lips never leaving each other. Her hands moved inside his shirt, feeling the strong, thick muscles on his back.

She reached down for the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head. He reached for her jeans, unbuttoning and then slid them roughly off her legs, along with her panties. He couldn't wait a second longer. He needed to be inside of her.

He reached for her shirt and quickly pulled it over her head. He then unbuttoned his own jeans and got rid of both them and his boxers in record time.

"No foreplay". He commanded as he, with his hands, separated Lexie's thighs and entered her fast and hard without warning.

It all went so fast. She didn't have time to protest or agree to his words before he was inside of her.

And she had do admit it to herself, it did hurt. It must have been because she wasn't wet enough.

His thrusts were rough and hard from the beginning. He was so mentally exhausted.

It was like one of those out of body-experiences. Like his brain wasn't connecting.

He pulled himself up on his hands and moved his hips in a fast and rough rhythm.

Usually he would be focused on Lexie's pleasure too. But this time, all he could think about was his own release.

It was rough, too rough. But she didn't have the heart to say anything. She grabbed his forearms. Feeling the need to touch him. He was exhausted and she knew it. He needed this.

His thrusts were fast and hard. There was a thin line between pleasurable and painful for her. And he crossed it. He was never too rough with her. She knew he didn't mean to. It had just been a difficult day for both of them.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the beginning of his release. Without thinking about the woman underneath him, he started moving his hips even faster and harder. He needed to come.

"God damn it, Lex." He growled as his orgasm hit him. He moved in and out of her a few more times before he collapsed on top of her. Practically crushing her with his weight.

Lexie was out of breath. Not because of a mindblowing orgasm, she didn't even get a regular one. And not because of him crushing her. But because of what just happened. This wasn't love making, she thought. This was fucking. Pure, literal fucking. She wrapped her arms around him, fingers curling into his hair as she felt his panting breath on her neck.

"Thank you." He whispered as he started kissing her neck, moving up to her cheek and back to her neck again. His hand moved down to the back of her thigh, giving it a light squeeze.

As he was kissing her, trying to catch his breath between kisses, reality came back to him like a punch in the stomach. Was this one of those out of body experiences people talked about? This wasn't like their regular sex, this was something else. He hadn't even taken a minute to check if she was enjoying it. He stopped the kissing and pulled out of her. He laid down on the side, resting himself on his forearm. He stayed like that, just looking at her as if she was gonna break any second.

"I'm sorry I was rough." He apologized. Horror covering his face

"No. It's okay… You… I needed that." Lexie said, looking at him. She did need that. But she knew Mark needed it more so she was just gonna go with it. She knew it wouldn't happen again.

"No, it's not okay. I… I don't know what got into me." He said looking down. Eyebrow knit together troubled.

"Mark. I forgive you. Don't worry about it. It's been a rough day for both of us." Lexie said, fingers stroking his arm supportingly.

"Yeah I guess…" Mark said. "I love you." He added looking up at her.

"I love you too." She said smiling. "It's getting late. You wanna order some pizza before we go to sleep?" She asked.

"Sure." He answered, mirroring her smile.

He watched her adoringly as she got out of bed, put on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top and then left the bedroom. He loved her to the moon and back. Lexie Grey was the love of his life. She was simply perfect. He still felt bad about being rough with her. He made a promise to himself to not let that happen again.

 **AN 2: Okay, I feel the need to explain. I'm not really proud of how this chapter turned out. But I think we all know that Mark's way of handling things is through sex. He was mentally exhausted and he didn't know what he was doing. But it won't happen again.  
Next chapter Mark is gonna make a pretty big decision. Can you guess what? :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all so much for the reviews! It makes me so happy! :D  
And special thanks to Alexandra Caroline Sloan for your kind words and for being my biggest "fan"! Make sure you read her story "I'll Stand By You". It's really good! :D  
Hope you enjoy this chapter :)  
Please keep reviewing!**

The next few day went on pretty fast. They worked as usual at the hospital, came home, watched some TV and went to bed. A few rounds of sex could get into the mix as both started to feel better about everything that happened and were about to police solved everything with the drunk driver and the kid and Lexie didn't have any more panic were now 3 more days until Mark and Derek were leaving for Derek and Mark were off today. Derek had spent an hour on the phone with Callie, planning the last details of the going away party. They both needed to get to the mall and buy some more stuff for the trip.

"Okay, where do we start?" Derek asked excited.

"I need shoes." Mark stated as he looked at his list of things he needed to buy.

"Dude, you brought a list?" Derek asked with a chuckle.

"What? I don't want to forget anything." Mark said shrugging.

"Yeah sure. You big lady." Derek said, smacking Mark in the side with his elbow.

"Whatever. Shoes." Mark commanded and headed towards the Nike Store.

An hour and a half later they had bought everything they needed. Shoes, clothes (shorts and t-shirts), sun screen, new sunglasses and other items, Derek was ready to go home.

"Okay you big lady, you got everything you need?" Derek asked.

"Almost. I have one thing left I need to buy." Mark answered thoughtfully, not even reacting to Derek's jokingly insult.

"What's that? Hair products? Make up?" Derek asked mockingly. He was in a mocking mode today.

"Nope." Mark answered and started walking towards the store where he could by the item.

"Where are we going?" Derek asked.

"You'll see." Mark answered.

He stopped outside the store, looking at the big sign with the name on it. **Tiffany's**

Derek looked at Mark with wide eyes.

Mark returned Derek's gaze "Will you help me pick out the ring?"

Lexie and Meredith had decided to have some sister time at Meredith's since their boyfriends were out. Lexie had been silent the whole car ride home and it started to worry Meredith. When they entered the big house Meredith broke the silence.

"Talk to me, Lexie." She demanded.

"What?" Lexie asked, bringing herself out of her thoughts.

"You're too silent and it's freaking me out."

"Oh. I'm just thinking about a patient I had today." Lexie responded honestly.

"The patient died?" Meredith asked, kindly.

"Drug overdose. He was already dead when he got to the ER." Lexie said as she pulled off her jacket.

"But you know why we work on hopeless patients" Meredith stated walking into the kitchen

"Yes. So we can tell the family we did everything we could." Lexie answered, following her and taking a seat by the kitchen counter.

"Correct." Meredith responded proudly. "So, what do you wanna do?" Meredith asked.

"Can't we just hang out? Drink some wine and talk?" Lexie suggested.

"Sure. I think I have 3 bottles. Is that enough for you?" Meredith asked mockingly.

"Ha ha. Very funny." Lexie responded, rolling her eyes.

"I thought so." Meredith said, smiling. She turned to get two glasses and a bottle of red wine

"How long were Mark and Derek gonna be at the mall?" Lexie asked, fumbling with her hands.

"I don't know. Probably a few hours. I think Derek said something about going to Joe's afterwards." Meredith answered as she poured wine into the glasses.

"Oh. Okay." Lexie answered, smiling.

"Hey, I think the movie Bridesmaids is on now. You wanna watch? We can talk at the same time." Meredith asked. As she finished up the glasses of wine, giving one to Lexie.

"I love that movie. Let's watch it." Lexie answered excited, grabbing her glass and going in to the living room.

Meredith laughed as she took her glass and followed her little sister

Mark and Derek had just arrived at Joe's. It took them almost an hour to pick out the perfect engagement ring for Lexie. They ordered their usual Single malt Scotch and sat down by the bar. It was late afternoon and people will be arriving soon.

"It's perfect." Mark stated, admiring the ring between his thumb and index finger that were holding it in place.

"I think so too." Derek said, looking between the ring and Mark. "So when are you gonna do it?"

"I don't know. I guess I haven't really thought about that." Mark answered, looking forward thoughtfully.

"Just promise me you do it BEFORE we leave." Derek said, looking at him with a firm look.

"Of course." Mark answered. "And thanks. For helping me pick it out." he added, smiling thankfully at the closest thing he had to a brother.

"No problem." Derek said, mirroring his smile.

They went silent for a moment. Mark kept admiring the ring that he hoped soon would be on the finger of the woman he loved most in this world. Derek was impressed. He never thought that Mark Sloan would buy a ring and ask someone to marry him. Lexie truly had changed him. Suddenly he felt bad for trying to keep them apart in the first place. Derek took a sip of his scotch and looked at Mark.

"I'm sorry. For trying to keep you away from Lexie." He said with an apologetic look.

"It's okay, man. Meredith's your wife and you would do anything for her. Like I would do anything for Lexie. Besides, Lexie was the one who broke the rule." Mark answered with a wink. He punched Derek teasingly on his arm with his elbow.

They went silent again. Both thinking hard about something. Derek was really proud of his brother. It was a big step to propose marriage to someone. Even bigger step to actually stand at the altar and say 'I do'.

"Hey, Mark…" Derek started. Turning his glass back and forth on the bar counter.

"Yeah, Derek?" Mark asked, curious to what Derek was thinking about.

"Are you sure about this?" Derek asked, looking at his best friend with a concerned look. He didn't want Mark to propose to Lexie and then bail because he truly wasn't ready for marriage.

"110% sure. I believe Lexie Grey is the love of my life. And I want to spend the rest of my life with her." Mark assured. And he was 110% honest. Lexie truly was the love of his life. He just hoped that Lexie felt the same way about him.

"Well in that case. To marriage." Derek said, raising his glass to Mark.

"To marriage." Mark replied, raising his own glass before taking a sip of his drink.

As Lexie watched _Bridesmaids_ with her big sister she couldn't help but think about marriage.

Meredith and Derek had gotten married on a post-it. She thought that was one of the most romantic things she had ever heard of. The post-it wedding indicated that Meredith and Derek someday would get married for real. Ever since Lexie was a little girl she had been dreaming about her wedding. She had already planned everything from the invitation cards to the dress. All that was left for her was a man that she wanted to marry. In that moment she realized that Mark really was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The man she wanted to marry someday. Mark Sloan was her McDreamy.

"What are you thinking about?" Lexie got snapped out of her thoughts at Meredith's question.

"Oh, uhm- Nothing. Nothing." Lexie said, paying attention to the movie again.

"You're thinking about marrying Mark, aren't you?" Meredith asked, raising her eyebrow teasingly.

Lexie had to give it to her sister. She was reading her like an open book. Lexie had never been good at lying or keeping secrets.

"Uhm… Yeah, I guess I am." Lexie admitted, looking down at her hands in her lap.

"Have you two ever discussed it?" Meredith asked.

"Not really." Lexie said. She thought back to the day when George died. Mark had asked her to move in with him and when they discussed it he had used the argument about residents getting married or already being married. They hadn't talked about that since. "He did kind of mention it once. But we haven't discussed it since then." she added.

Meredith nodded and brought her eyes back to the TV. It seemed like Lexie didn't want to talk about this right now so she decided to leave it at that.

"Do you want some more wine?" Meredith asked, standing up with her glass in her hand.

"Yes please." Lexie answered with a smile.

"Don't do anything spontaneous while I'm gone." Meredith joked, pointing a warning finger at her little sister.

"Promise." Lexie said, laughing as her sister went into the kitchen.

Meredith came back pretty fast with two glasses of refilled wine. As she sat down her phone buzzed on the table. A loving smile appeared on her face as she read the message and Lexie could immediately tell it was from Derek. Lexie got the same smile on her face when she read a text message from Mark.

"Derek says that they will be back in about 15 minutes." Meredith announced as she put her phone down on the table.

"Good. So we will have time to finish the movie." Lexie said and took a sip of her wine.

"At least I will watch the movie while others daydream about their wedding day." Meredith said jokingly, winking at her.

"Just shut up." Lexie said, laughing.

Just as the movie ended, Derek walked through the door. He walked in to the living room and smiled at the Grey sisters who were laughing at something.

"Hey, girls. Seems like you have been having fun." Derek greeted as he took of his jacket.

"We sure have." Meredith responded, smiling and looking between Lexie and Derek.

"Where's Mark? I thought he was coming with you." Lexie asked, looking around behind Derek in search of her boyfriend.

"I dropped him off at home. He had things to do." Derek said.

"Oh, okay." Lexie said, sipping the last of her wine.

Derek watched Lexie and he felt butterflies in his stomach. He always hated to keep secrets. Especially proposal secrets. And of course he promised Mark to not even tell Meredith. He was gonna explode if Mark didn't do this soon.

"Uhm, maybe I should leave now. Derek is looking at me in a weird way." Lexie said, laughing as she got up and headed for the front door.

Derek snapped out of his thoughts and looked around as if to hide his watching. "Uhm. Yeah. Mark would be glad that you're home. I'll call a cab for you" Derek said reaching for the phone in his pocket.

"I'm sure he will. Thank you, Derek." Lexie said as she put on her jacket.

"I had a great time, Lex. Let's do this again sometime." Meredith said enthusiastically.

"We will have about 6 months to do this when our men leaves for Africa." Lexie said, forcing a smile at the words. She still wasn't 100% okay with Mark leaving.

"Yeah, you're right. It's gonna be fun." Meredith said, putting a hand on her sisters shoulder.

"Cab should be here soon." Derek said as he approached the sisters.

"Okay. I can wait outside. Thank you so much for tonight, Mer." Lexie said, reaching out for a hug.

"No problem. Thank you. Text me when you get home, okay?" Meredith said before breaking the hug.

"I will. See you tomorrow." Lexie said as she opened the door and stepped outside.

"See you." Meredith and Derek said at the same time and waved Lexie goodbye before she closed the door.

"Okay, what was that?" Meredith asked Derek, looking firmly at him.

"What?" Derek asked, shrugging.

"That look you gave her. What was that?"

"Oh. That… That was nothing." Derek said. He really didn't want to talk to his post-it wife about that because he knew he would slip and tell her about the proposal.

"Don't play stupid with me. You're hiding something." Meredith said.

"No I'm not. And even if I was I might not be allowed to tell you."

"Ooooh. So it's something someone is about to do that you can't tell anyone about." Meredith said, a smile on her face at her realization. She thought about it for a moment. What could it be that Derek would want to hide from her. Something must have happened while he was out with Mark. It must have been something he promised Mark to not tell anyone. Suddenly it occurred to her. "Wait a minute. That was the same look you were giving me at times before you proposed to me. Is Mark gonna propose to Lexie?" Meredith asked.

"You can't tell anyone. Okay, Mer? You have to promise me you won't tell anyone." Derek said. Looking firmly into her eyes. He knew Meredith would find out.

"Relax. I won't tell anyone. But that's so exciting. When is he gonna do it?" Meredith asked, smiling so big her eyes could pop any minute.

"I don't know. But I made him promise he would do it before we leave." Derek explained.

"Oh my God. Now I just feel stupid for wanting to keep them apart." Meredith said, looking down at the floor. She remembered the time when she thought Mark was gonna go all man whore on Lexie.

"Yeah me too." Derek said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Come on. Let's go to bed. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow." He added, leading her towards the stairs.

Meredith snuggled against his shoulder as they walked up the stairs and into their bedroom.

"I love you Derek." Meredith said.

"I love you too, Meredith." He answered, kissing the top of her head.

When Lexie walked through the door to the apartment she found Mark on the couch. He was sleeping like a baby. The TV showed a baseball game he obviously had fallen asleep from. She smiled adoringly as she quietly took of her jacket and shoes and walked over to him. She sat down by him. He looked so peaceful, like nothing in the world could bother him. A rush of need to touch him shot through her. She gently put her hand against his head and stroked his hair. That curly, beautiful salt and pepper hair she couldn't get enough of. He had talked about coloring it to hide the grey and she had immediately protested, saying it was charming and sexy. Her hand moved to his jaw, gently stroking his cheek with her knuckles. She stilled for a second as he moved slightly at her touch. His eyelids slowly opening. Ocean blue eyes meeting her chocolate brown.

"Hey, Babe." He said, his voice low and raspy from sleep.

"Hey." She replied, smiling softly at him as she was taking his beautiful form in.

"How was you evening with Meredith?" He asked, half sitting up on the couch.

"It was great. We drank some wine and watched Bridesmaids." She said, her smile widening.

Mark stilled at the name of the movie. It made him remember the little black box in the inner pocket of his leather jacket. Should he just do it now? He quickly changed his mind. She mentioned she had been drinking wine. Perhaps it was a bad time if she wasn't completely herself. He didn't know how much she had been drinking but she didn't seem drunk. He decided anyway to wait.

"How did the shopping go?" he snapped out of his thought at her question.

"It went well. I got all the stuff I needed." He said, his mind finding it's way back to the black box. He made a mental note to find a better hiding place for it in case she accidentally found it.

"Great. So you're all set for Africa?" She asked, moving closer to him.

"I guess I am." He said, letting Lexie snuggle against him. He moved his arm around her. His thumb caressing her shoulder.

"I'm gonna miss you." She said, her hand resting on his chest. She always felt it calming to feel his steady heartbeat under her palm.

"I'm gonna miss you too." He said, resting his head on hers. Kissing her forehead softly.

Lexie couldn't stop her thoughts about Mark dying out there. It wasn't a safe environment. Anything could happen. "Just promise me something." She said, making small circles on his chest with her finger.

"Anything." he assured.

"Promise me that you'll be careful. Don't do anything stupid." She said as she looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"I promise sweetheart." He said, meeting her eyes.

He moved his hand to remove a strain of hair behind her ear. He was really going to miss moments like this. Just lay on the couch with her and enjoy the moment. Those small things like being able to caress her cheek with his thumb. His mind once again wandering back to the black box that carried the ring that hopefully would be on her finger soon.

"Why does everyone keep looking at me like that?" Lexie asked, chuckling. It wasn't the first time tonight she had gotten that look.

"What do you mean?" Mark asked. He hadn't realized that he had been staring at her as he got lost in his thoughts.

"Derek looked at me the exact same way as you are right now." She told him softly.

"Well, he better not be falling for you." Mark joked. Anything to not make her suspicious.

"So what if he is? What makes you think I'm gonna fall for him?" Lexie asked, moving her fingers like they were walking up along Mark's chest and up to his cheek. "You're not jealous are you?" She asked teasingly.

"Of course not. I'm just saying that if he makes a move on you, I'm gonna kick his ass." Mark said, winking at her.

"Oh yeah. I remember the last time you two got into a fight. But that time it was Derek who kicked your ass." She said, laughing at the memory. She could still remember Mark's bruised face when she met him in the exam room where Callie iced his broken hand.

"Very funny, smartass." Mark said, smiling at her. "What do you say we move this to the bedroom, it's getting late." Mark suggested.

"Can't we just sleep here tonight, just like this?" Lexie asked, burying her face in the crook of his shoulder.

Mark chuckled at her suggestion. He wasn't 20 anymore, his body was going to kill him if he spent the night in a uncomfortable position on the couch. But he figured it was worth it. After all he couldn't say no to Lexie.

"Sure. But you are the one giving me a back massage tomorrow 'cause my back is not gonna be happy about this." He said as he reached for the blanket that hung on the back of the couch and put it around them.

Lexie sighed in pleasure. This was what life was all about. Being able to cuddle and sleep on the couch with the person you love most in the world. She yawned and she felt her eyelids getting heavier.

"Not my fault you're getting old." She said as she closed her eyes.

"Ha ha. You're hilarious tonight." He said sarcastically with a pleased smile on his face.

"I always am. Good night. Love you." She said as she felt herself relaxing more and more in his arms.

"Good night, Lex. Love you too." He said as he closed his eyes. Breathing in her scent before drifting off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks again for all the great response. I love writing this story and I hope you love reading it just as much. There will be one more chapter after this one and then Mark is gone. But don't worry. He will be back before you know it. :)  
This chapter is rated M. Don't say I didn't warn you. Enjoy :)**

"Lexie! Come on now, we're gonna be late!" Mark called out as he was pacing nervously in the living room. Lexie was in the bedroom getting dressed for the evening. Tonight they were gonna have the Going away party at Derek and Meredith's. Lexie had spent 30 minutes in there and Mark was stressing out.  
"I'm coming, just need to fix the last details!" Lexie called back through the door. She wanted the night to be perfect. And that included her clothes. To Lexie, clothes were the most important thing when you were attending parties. And she wanted to dress well for Mark.

Mark put his hand in his pocket. His hand touching the little black box. He had waited all day for the perfect moment to propose, but it never appeared. Okay, maybe it did. But he was too nervous to take the chance. And now he was getting stressed out. He needed to do this before the party. He had promised himself that. He was now shaking and his heart was racing.

"What do you think?" Lexie asked softly as she came out of the bedroom. Mark turned around at her question. His heart melted at the sight. She was wearing a light purple, knee long cocktail dress. Strapless and tight around her upper body and then loose from the waist down. Half her hair was up in a ponytail, the lower half was out loose around her shoulders, she had made a few curls as well. She was simply beautiful, not hot-beautiful, just beautiful.

He cleared his throat before speaking. "New dress?" He asked. That was all he could manage out.  
She giggled as she put on a long sleeved, white bolero cardigan that matched the dress perfectly.

"Yeah." She replied. "I bought it special for tonight." She said and smiled at him.

"It's beautiful. You're beautiful, Lex." He said with a smile. There wasn't really anytime she looked ugly. He had seen her at her worst, and even when she looked like she'd been hit by a truck that time when she had the flu, she still looked beautiful to him.

"Thank you." She replied with a loving smile. She was glad that he responded so well to her dress. "You ready to leave?" She asked and walked over to the kitchen counter to check if she had everything she needed in her purse.

Mark went silent, he watched her adoringly and it was like his brain shut down completely. All he could think about was that ring. Like the last little detail to her outfit. He had to do it now or else he would probably never be able to.

Lexie looked over at him questioningly when he didn't answer her question. She chuckled. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked. "Am I really _that_ beautiful?" She asked with a smile. She didn't think he was gonna react like this when she picked out the dress. But if it made him speechless then she would just go with it.

Mark opened his mouth to say something but he immediately closed it again. He was so nervous he thought he was gonna throw up. He looked down and took a deep breath to gather some courage. It was now or never, he thought before he looked up and walked over to her.

"Lexie…" He started and already lost his words.

"Mark…" She replied with a smile. She was curious to what he was gonna say.

"I love you…" He began and tried to figure out a way to continue. He really should have thought about this earlier.

"I love you too." She said and caressed his arm.

"No, I… Well, I know you do. But there's something I wanted to…" He trailed off. He felt so at lost.

"Something you wanted to…?" She asked. He was obviously nervous about something, she noticed.

Mark took a deep breath. He decided to just let his heart talk instead. The heart always knew best.  
"Lexie, I love you. I have loved you since that night in my hotel room. And I still can't wrap myself around the fact that you actually love me too. But we do love each other. And I'm leaving for Africa tomorrow and this is our last night together for 6 months." He said as he finally brought the box out of his pocket and held it in front of Lexie. He didn't want to do that going down on one knee-crap. "And I would like to give you this as a promise." He said and gave it to her. "A promise that I _will_ be back. Alive." He told her. "Lexie Grey. Will you marry me?"

Lexie's eyes widened. She really didn't see this coming. He was proposing to her? Like really proposing to her with a ring and everything. She opened the box that contained the small silver 18 carat ring with small diamonds around it. It was perfect. A typical Lexie ring. Casual but still beautiful. She almost caught her breath in her throat at the sight. She looked up at Mark.  
"Mark… I…" She trailed off and looked down at the ring again. She was in shock. "Yes." She said. "Yes. Of course I will marry you." She told him with a smile and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He responded by lifting her up and spin her around. They laughed in happiness against each others neck. Mark put her down and kissed her before taking the box out of her hands and putting the ring onto her finger. Lexie admired the ring and then looked up at her now fiancé. Tears of joy welled up in her eyes and she didn't care. "I love you so much." He said and pulled her into his arms.

"I love you too." She said and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

After a moment in each others arms, they let go and looked at each other lovingly. Lexie dried her cheeks. She actually felt good about crying in happiness instead of sadness for once.

"Oh my God! I… I just don't know what to say." She told him with a soft smile. Now she was the speechless one.

Mark chuckled at her comment. "I know. But you don't have to say anything." He said, mirroring her smile. "But we do need to get going. We're running late." He said and looked down at his watch.  
Lexie didn't respond. She grabbed her purse and headed towards the door. Mark quickly following her.

"Should we tell anyone?" She asked softly as they pulled up on Derek and Meredith's driveway. She looked down at her ring, it wasn't that big so no one would notice unless she showed it. But she didn't trust herself with this kind of secret.

"I don't know. Do you want to keep it a secret?" He asked. Whatever she wanted, he wanted.

"Well… I… I don't… I mean." She stuttered out. Truthfully, she didn't know what she wanted. Most of all she wanted to climb up on a mountain and scream that she's engaged to the most wonderful man in the entire world. But on the other hand, she shouldn't be the one who gets all the attention tonight. "This is a party for you and Derek, I don't want to steal all the attention from you." She told him and looked into his beautiful blue eyes.

Mark nodded, he understood her dilemma. "But we don't have to announce it. We could just tell a few people." He suggested. "In fact… Derek already knows." He admitted.

Lexie chuckled. "Of course he does." Lexie said with a smile. She wasn't mad about it, more like the opposite.

"Okay, so we have a plan?" He asked.

"We have a plan." She replied and leaned in to kiss him.

"Finally! Where have you two been?" Meredith asked a little annoyed when she opened the door and greeted them. Mark had his arm around Lexie, who tried her best to hide her left hand.

"We're sorry. Things took a little longer than expected." Mark apologized and walked passed Meredith into the house.

"Please. Don't give me any details about your dirty sex." Meredith said and closed her eyes in disgust. Mark and Lexie laughed at her comment. Mark laughed honestly and Lexie forced out a laugh. She followed Mark inside and tried to decide where to go first.

"Okay, so there's wine and food in the kitchen, beer in the fridge and we were just waiting for you so we can open the Champagne." Meredith said and pointed to the different directions.

"Mark! Finally. The other Man of the hour is here." Derek exclaimed and greeted Mark with a man hug. "Hi, Lexie. How are you doing?" Derek asked and walked over to give Lexie a hug as well.

"I'm… I'm fine. Just fine. Why wouldn't I be? I mean, I'm not happy that you are leaving tomorrow but…" She rambled and managed to stop herself. "I… I mean. I'm fine, thank you." She finished with a nervous smile. This whole engagement secret was probably gonna kill her.

Derek chuckled at her rambling. He realized now why she was so nervous. He knew that Mark had proposed to her. He noticed that she constantly tried to hide her left hand. "Okay then, let's get some Champagne." He said and walked into the living room. Lexie walked over to Mark who was waiting for her. "I can't do this. We need to tell everyone." Lexie whispered.

Mark laughed at her comment. "Yeah, I think we do." He said mockingly.

"Don't laugh at me. This is your fault. You and your… Proposing." Lexie said and smacked his arm firm but playfully. Mark laughed even more and leaned in to kiss her again. "This is one of many reasons why I love you." He said before brushing his lips against hers.

They broke the kiss and walked into the living room where Derek was waiting with the Champagne and all the other guests were standing around the room. They had just invited their closest friends from the hospital. Callie, Arizona, Owen, Cristina, Chief Webber, Bailey, Teddy and Alex. They all greeted the couple and went back to talking to each other. Some of them had started off with a glass of wine. Lexie stood beside Mark on his right side and grabbed his hand to hide the ring. He gave hers a little squeeze.

"Okay, let's open this." Derek announced and waited for Meredith to come into the room before he opened it. The small bang from the bottle made some of the women shriek before everyone were sheering. Derek started to fill up glasses and hand them to everyone.  
Lexie made sure she grabbed his glass with her right hand. At least she wasn't pregnant, she thought to herself. That would have been harder to explain when she would have passed on the alcohol.

"Okay everybody. I would like to propose a toast." Webber announced and raised his glass. "To Derek and Mark. We wish you the best of luck in Africa. I'm sure you will do a fine job." He said and took a sip as well as the others.

After a small gulp, Mark squeezed Lexie's hand again. A squeeze telling her ' _It's time'._ He cleared his throat before speaking. "I uhm… I would like to say something too." He started. "I… Oh, what the hell. I'm just gonna say it. Lexie and I are engaged." He announced happily.  
Lexie kept the hold of his hand and smiled nervously. This felt like the first time she brought her first boyfriend home. She was so nervous about what her parents, especially her dad, were going to think about him. They were immediately greeted with congratulations and luck wishes. Callie walked over to Mark and hugged him and Derek patted his shoulder.

"Congratulations, Lexie!" Meredith exclaimed and hugged her. "I'm so happy for you!"

Lexie hugged her back. "Thank you." She said simply.

After a delicious dinner, they all went out to the living room. The music was playing and some of them started dancing. Lexie watched adoringly as Callie and Arizona danced with each other. She occasionally looked over at her sister and brother in-law. They looked so in love. She didn't even understand how Meredith seemed to take this Africa thing so well. But Meredith was strong and she had been through so much, and they would go through this together.  
Suddenly she felt like she needed to be alone for a moment. She walked out and headed for the door when Mark approached her. "Hey, you wanna dance?" He asked, not noticing that she was ready to go outside.

Lexie looked over at him and hesitated for a moment. If she said no, he would follow her out and make sure she was okay. "Sure." She answered with a smile and let him lead her to the 'dance floor'. She never considered herself a good dancer so she just let Mark lead. He put her hand in his and his other hand rested on the small of her back. She rested her hand on his chest. Right above his heart. She needed to feel his steady heartbeat in order to calm herself down. She could feel his eyes on her but she didn't have the strength to meet them. She looked down at her hand on his chest as they started moving in a slow rhythm as the song _Without you_ by One Two started playing.

Lexie felt the tears welling up. The lyrics of the song hit her like a punch in the stomach. _'How's my heart supposed to beat without you?'._ She once again let her mind wander off to the thoughts about Mark dying. She didn't trust the security they had been 'guaranteed' down in Africa. Anything could happen.

"Lexie…" Mark started. "What's wrong?" He asked softly. She really couldn't hide anything from him. He always noticed when she was upset about something.

"Nothing… Nothing's wrong." She said and tried to force a reassuring smile out.

"You're refusing to look at me and you're fighting your tears. I'm asking again, what's wrong?" He said. A little more forceful but still soft. He knew that you should talk about what's bothering you. It was never good to keep things inside. And he knew that whatever Lexie was feeling right now had something to do with him.

"Can we go somewhere else?" She whispered. She didn't want to have this conversation where other could hear them.

"Sure." He said and let go of her. He decided to let her lead the way.

She walked out of the living room and headed for the door. Outside no one would disturb them. They could talk in private. She opened the door and walked out on the porch. She sat down on the small bench. Mark sat down beside her. Lexie took a deep breath. "I'm scared." She started. "I'm scared to death that I will get a phone call, or one of those visits from two soldiers, telling me that you died in an explosion or something." She told him. She looked down at the ring and traced the round form with her index finger. "And you said that this ring is a promise that you will be back alive. Well. You can't possibly know for sure that you will be back alive." She said as she tried to blink away the tears.  
Mark listened carefully. He understood her fear. He'd experienced that feeling himself when that car was coming towards them. He took Lexie's hand in his larger ones and kissed it softly.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart. But I just don't know how to respond to that." He told her honestly. She was right. He couldn't guarantee that he would be back alive. But he refused to let her prepare for the worst before he even left.

Lexie closed her eyes as the tears finally escaped and streamed down her face. She damned herself for letting this happen. This night was supposed to be a fun time. They should be laughing and having fun. "It's just… If anything happens to you-"

"You'll get through it." He told he firmly. "If anything happens to me, you will get through it." He repeated and brought his arm around her. She responded by leaning her head against his shoulder.

"I love you." She told him. Her words were barely above a whisper, but it was loud enough for him to hear it.

"I love you too." He replied and kissed the top of her head.

They sat like that for a few minutes before Mark broke the silence. "What do you say we go back inside? We can stay for like 10 more minutes and then we can go home." He suggested. Lexie nodded her head. "Sound good to me." She replied and got up from the bench. He followed her and they walked back inside hand in hand.

When they walked through the door of their apartment, they were smiling. Lexie had decided to focus on having a good time for the rest of the evening. And talking to Mark about her feelings really helped.

"Ah. My feet are killing me." She complained as she sat down on the couch and took off her heels. She usually didn't use heels and now she was reminded why.

Mark chuckled at her complain. "That's the upside of being a man. We can always wear comfortable shoes." He said mockingly as he took of his own shoes and removed his blazer.

"Ha ha." She said sarcastically as she started massaging her feet.

Mark walked over and sat down on the couch beside her and grabbed her feet and placed them in his lap before he started to massage them. A moan escaped Lexie right away since his foot massages were like heaven. "Oh, God. That feels so good." She moaned. The sound made Mark chuckle. He loved to hear her moan, but he preferred it being because of something else.  
After a while of foot rubbing, he moved her feet and got up from his seat. "I'm getting a glass of scotch, you want one?" He asked as he headed for the kitchen.

"No, I'm good. Thank you." She told him. She continued what he had started with the feet. It didn't feel as good as when he was massaging them, but it would do. As she heard the clinking sound from the bottle and the glass, she realized that this was their last night together in 6 months. And she wanted to spend it as close to him as possible. She got up from the couch and walked over to him in the kitchen.

He had just taken a sip of his scotch when he noticed Lexie coming up to him. "Changed your mind?" He asked and put his glass down on the counter before preparing to bring another glass down for her.

"No." She said softly, stopping him in the tracks.

"Okay." He said. "You want anything else? Wine? Water? Soda?" He asked.

"You." She told him.

"What?" He asked confused. He really didn't understand where this was going.

"I want you." She said, her eyes turned dark with lust before she closed the gap between them and kissed him passionately, bringing her arms around his neck.

Mark was glad he didn't have his glass in his hand, otherwise he would probably have dropped it. He returned the kiss and deepened it a little. His tongue was wrestling with hers. He brought his arms around her waist, bringing her even closer to him. A piece of paper wouldn't fit between them now.

Mark broke the kiss a moment later and attacked her neck with kisses. Sucking and biting her soft skin that smelled like coconuts. She moaned at the change and could feel another rush of wetness between her legs. She smiled as she could feel him getting harder as well.  
His hands moved down to the back of her thighs, he pulled her dress up a little bit and gave her ass a squeeze before he lifted her up. He pulled back from her neck and looked her in the eyes. He smirked at her as she brought her legs around his waist. "Make love to me, Mark." She said and started kissing him again.

He responded to her command by getting a good grip on her ass to keep her steady and then walked towards the bedroom. He knew the route by heart so he didn't have to worry about knocking something down on the way.

When they got to the bedroom he gently put her down on the floor, making sure she was standing on her feet before he let go slightly. It was easier to undress each other if they were standing up and he wanted to get a good look of her perfect body. She kept her arms around his neck as he reached for the zipper on the back of her dress. He slowly pulled it down and enjoyed the sound of it. He pulled away slightly from her and pulled the dress down, revealing her underwear. A black lace bra with matching panties. Also new ones, he noticed.

Lexie brought her hands slowly down his neck and stopped by the collar of his shirt. She played with it for a beat before she started unbuttoning the shirt. Mark ran his hands up and down her body, leaving light squeezes along the way. Soon all the buttons were done and she pulled the shirt off of his shoulders. Only the sight of his upper body nearly made her come.

"Like what you see?" Mark asked her seductively with the sexy Mark Sloan-smirk.

"Always." She replied and attacked his mouth again as she reached for his belt.

It was tricky, but she managed to unbuckle the belt and unbutton his jeans. As she pulled down both jeans and boxers at once, she prepared to get down on her knees.

"No." Mark said firmly and brought her up on her feet again and gently pushed her down on the bed. He climbed over her and looked down at her with dark blue eyes that were filled with want and desire. "Tonight is about you." He said in a low, raspy voice. "Just relax and let me do all the work." He added and kissed his way down from her mouth, down to her breasts that were still covered by her bra. He would take care of that later.  
He reached down to her panties. He brushed a finger over her center. The touch sent a shiver through her body.

"Mark… Please." She pleaded. She hated when he teased her like this.

He chuckled. "So impatient." He whispered before he reached for the hem of her panties and pulled them off of her. He played a little with her folds before he slid two fingers in and started thrusting slowly. He wanted her to enjoy this as much as she possibly could. And he had no intention of making this fast. It was going to be a slow ride.

Lexie responded by moaning. She didn't know why, but for some reason this felt better than usual.  
She was impatient though so she met his thrusts by moving her hips. He firmly put his hand on her stomach at her movement.

"Stop that. Let me do the job." He told her.

After a few more painfully slow thrusts he pulled his fingers out and climbed back up on top of her. He reached behind her back and snapped up her bra in record time. He pulled the strapless bra off of her. He stayed like that for a while and just took her beautiful form in. Her body was perfect to him. He sighed in pleasure before he attacked her nipple with his mouth. His tongue doing it's magical work while his other hand massaged her other breast. "Mark…" She sighed. "Stop teasing… Please. I need you."

He kissed her breasts a while longer before he positioned himself by her center. He leaned back and looked down at her as he entered her slowly, filling her completely. She sighed in pleasure and he could hear a small moan escape her lips. "You've craved this all night, haven't you?" He asked with the classic Mark Sloan-smirk.

"You have no idea." She replied and brought her arms around his neck.

He leaned back down and started kissing her as his hips started moving in a slow, even rhythm.  
She moaned into his mouth and brought her knees up higher, bringing him even deeper inside of her. She was pretty sure he had found her G-spot. Every touch with his tip made her see stars.

Mark broke the kiss when his lungs screamed for air. He looked down at her. He loved seeing her in this position. Chocolate hues meeting ice blue ones. She looked at him with a pleading look. "Let me on top for a while." She said in a low voice. She loved being pleased, but she also wanted to please him.

"No." He answered before his mouth attacked her neck. He wasn't gonna give her any control what so ever. Not this round at least.

A whimper escaped her and he could tell that she was beginning to get closer to her orgasm. He started to move his hips a little harder and faster. "You're close aren't you?" He asked between kisses.

She didn't answer his question. She was close to her orgasm, but there was something inside of her that didn't want to reach it. She felt like everything would be over as soon as this round of sex was over. She held on to him and brought him closer to her, if that was even possible. She could feel the beginning of her orgasm and under normal circumstances she would welcome it. But now she was fighting it. It wasn't that she wanted to postpone it. She just didn't want this to be over. 'Cause when they both had reached their climax, it would be over and he would leave for Africa. It didn't cross her mind that they had a whole night and next morning to have sex and enjoy each other. For her, it was this one time that counted. And she didn't want it to be over. She squeezed her eyes shut

Mark leaned back up again as he felt her walls clench around him. He wanted to watch her come. He noticed that she seemed to struggle with something and she was so tense that a stone could break if you threw one at her. Was she fighting her orgasm?

"Let it go, Lex." He told her. He understood what was going through her mind. Sometimes it was scary that they could read each other like a book.

"No…" She breathed. She knew that it would hit her eventually, but she was gonna fight it as long as she could.

"You're ready, Lex. Come for me." He ordered and thrusted even harder. He knew that she needed this release.

She knew there was no need to fight it anymore. All she could do now was enjoy it as much as possible. She opened her eyes and met his eyes. "Come with me." She commanded.

Mark responded by moving harder and faster inside of her "Right behind you." He growled as he reached his hand between them and rubbed her clit with his thumb just the way he knew she liked it.

She moaned loudly and screamed his name as her orgasm hit her like a punch, paralyzing her entire body in the process. Her legs were shaking and she almost lost her breath for a moment. He thrusted into her one last hard time and moaned almost as loudly as she did as he came hard inside of her. He kissed her softly for a moment before he moved out of her and collapsed on his side of the bed. Both were panting and completely paralyzed.

"Oh God…" Lexie breathed. "That was amazing." She said. The panting had slowed down a bit.

Mark laughed at her comment. If he had a nickel for every time a woman had said that after sex with him.

She looked over at him. "I'm sorry…" She said. She felt bad about what she did. Or more like, didn't do. "I don't know what happened. I just…" She trailed off.

"Don't worry about it. I totally understand." He told her. He did understand. For a while he felt the same way. He neither wanted this night to be over. But all they could do was enjoy each other as much as possible. He reached out his arm. "Come here." He said.

She didn't respond. She just moved herself over to him and rested against his chest. He wrapped his arm around her and held her close. "Who would have thought that engagement sex would be this great?" He asked and chuckled. "I mean, I've heard about it being great, but I never believed it until now." He added and ran his hand through her hair.

Lexie laughed at his comment. And she couldn't agree more. "I think it was a combination of engagement sex and 'you're leaving me alone for six months-sex". She said and drew lazy circles on his chest. "Either way. It was great." She said in a seductive tone.

"I love you." He told her and kissed the top of her head. She snuggled up more against him and sighed in pleasure.

"I love you too." She replied.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you once again for all the reviews and favs/follows. I love writing this story and we are nowhere near done. I'd like to thank my friend Maria for some inspiration to this chapter. And for being my VIP reader. She's the one who gets to read it first and give me feedback before I post it. :)  
** **I had a hard time writing this chapter since I really didn't want to say goodbye to Mark. But he will be back before you know it. Just a few chapters without him. We'll go through it together :)  
** **Here's chapter 7. Enjoy and please leave a review :)**

The next morning, Lexie woke up to the soft sound of the water running from the adjoining bathroom. She turned her body and reached her hand out, expecting to feel the strong body of the man she loved. Instead she was greeted with sheets. She opened her eyes and soon realized that Mark was showering. And since the sheets were still warm from his body heat, he couldn't have been in there for long. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. Looking over at the alarm clock on the night stand, she frowned. 8.22, it said.

She turned her attention back to the door when she heard the water stop running. A minute later, Mark walked out of the bathroom looking as hot and steamy as ever. In that moment, Lexie was once again reminded of why he was called 'McSteamy. And she liked it. The towel was lazily wrapped around his waist. A smile appeared on his face when he noticed she was awake. "Good morning." He greeted and walked over to the bed, leaning down to kiss her.

"Why didn't you wake me?" She asked softly. She thought he knew that she wanted to spend as much time awake with him as possible. After all, he was leaving for Africa today.

"I just got up like 10 minutes ago to shower. I would have woke you up after." He told her. He didn't think 10 minutes would make a difference to her.

"I could have joined you." She said seductively. She was sore from all the sex last night, but she would have pushed it away since she wasn't going to have sex for the next 6 months.

"Well, I'm sorry. I just thought that you wanted to sleep. You seemed exhausted after that last round." He said with a smirk and then turned to the closet to get some clothes.

Lexie giggled at his words. That last round had been all her work so she was exhausted. But she would have 6 months to sleep. She was going to argue back but she then realized that 10 minutes didn't matter that much anyway. They now had a few hours together before he had to leave for the airport.

She looked down at the floor and noticed one of his gray t-shirts laying there. Subconsciously, she reached for it and pulled it over her head. It fitted him perfectly, it was body shaped for him and it featured his body. But on her, it was more like a puffy dress. It was long enough to cover her butt and the arms were almost down to her elbows. But something about wearing his clothes were just clicking. Like that last little piece.

She pulled away the covers and got out of bed. She watched him adoringly as he got dressed in front of the mirror. The classic Mark Sloan-smirk was meeting her through the mirror and she knew he had been watching her when she put on his shirt. "You look good in my clothes. That t-shirt fits you." He told her as he zipped his black sweatshirt. The one he had gotten from Lexie for his birthday.

She smiled and walked over to him. She stopped right behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Not as good as it fits you though." She said and buried her face in his back, inhaling his scent deeply. He always smelled good and that cologne was not making it worse. That was mostly the reason she loved wearing his clothes, because it smelled like him.

"How long before you have to be at the airport?" She asked into his back. Just being close to him was all she wanted right now. Hold him close to her for as long as possible.

"A couple of hours. I told Derek I'd meet him there at 11." He told her as he placed his hands on top of Lexie's that were resting on his stomach. Mark decided to let her hold him like this for a while. He was going to make this morning all about her, she was in charge.

Lexie sighed in response. They had about 2 hours. Only 2 more hours and then he would be gone. She didn't want to think about that right now because it only brought tears to her eyes. She wanted to have a good time and be happy with him. "So what do you wanna do?" She asked, still keeping her arms around him. She wanted to print this feeling into her brain.  
He shrugged at her question. There wasn't really anything they could do. "I don't know. Just hang out, I guess." He said. Eating breakfast was one of his tasks for the morning. And make sure he had everything he needed for the trip.

"Sound good to me." She replied and tightened her grip around him. For a moment she thought that if she held on to him tight enough, she could keep him here. That thought was quickly erased from her mind though. She decided to give up and loosened her grip. He immediately responded by turning around and cup her face in his hands. He looked at her directly in the eyes for a moment before he leaned down and captured her lips with his own. It was a soft kiss with so much meaning and love. A look is worth a thousand words, they had been told. But so was a kiss.

They broke the kiss when air was needed. He pulled back slightly and looked into her eyes. "I love you." He told her softly. As if that would go away as soon as he left if he didn't say it enough times.

A small, loving smile covered her face at his words. She knew he loved her but she never got tired of hearing it. "I love you too." She replied and rested her hands on his chest. The feeling of his heart beat under her palm sent shivers through her spine. She was going to miss this so much.

After a calm, quiet breakfast, Mark headed back to the bedroom to make sure he got everything. He compared his list to everything in his bags. After a while, Lexie came into the room after she'd taken a shower. She watched him from her spot in the doorway. It was really happening. He was really going to Africa.

As she noticed he was done, she approached him and sat down on the bed beside his bag and just looked at him. "I guess you want this back." She said and showed him the grey t-shirt she'd worn earlier. He looked down at it for a moment before taking it out off her hands. He scanned it with his eyes as if he was searching for spots or something. "No. Keep it." He said with a soft smile and handed it back to her.

"Really? Thanks." She said and looked down at it lovingly. She brought the fabric up to her face and smelled the scent of it as she closed her eyes. She knew the smell would go away eventually, but it was still his shirt. And that was enough for her to keep it.

"I don't wanna rush you or anything. But I think you need to get dressed if we're gonna make it to the airport on time." He told her softly and looked down at his watch. It was a pretty long ride to the airport and with this traffic, he wanted to leave in time so he wouldn't be late.

Lexie just nodded at his words and got up from the bed to get dressed and dry her hair.

Lexie gripped the steering wheel tightly as she drove on the highway. The music on the radio was the only sound in the car. Occasionally she glanced over at Mark in the passenger seat. She felt the need to say something but her head was blank. She couldn't think of anything to say except for 'Please don't leave me.'. For every sign they passed that told the distance to the airport, she could feel her stomach clench even tighter. She hated this.

Mark's mind was going crazy in search for something comforting to say. He looked out through the window and watched the oncoming cars. It was something comforting with just looking out and take in the present. Mark was brought out of his thoughts when he heard the clicking sound from the flashers. He glanced over at Lexie who was now turning the car up on the exit from the highway and soon he could se could see the signs saying **Welcome to Sea-Tac Airport**. A sigh escaped him as he realized that this was it.

Lexie put the car into Parking and then turned it off. She sighed and leaned back in her seat. This was it. Next time she got into this car, she would be alone. She closed her eyes and hoped that when she opened them again, Mark would have changed his mind. But of course, that didn't happen. "So this is it." She trailed off, the words tasting bitter in her mouth. She still hoped it was all a bad dream she would wake up from soon.

Mark didn't look at her. He just kept his gaze forward. "Yeah. This is it." He confirmed softly.

Lexie nodded. "I guess we better get going then. I'm sure Derek and Mer are already here." She said and glanced over at him. Thankfully, he met her eyes and nodded in response.

"Yeah. I guess we should." He replied. They were both awaiting the other to take the first step to get out of the car. Lexie sighed and placed her hand over his.

"It'll be okay." She told him and wasn't quite sure if she was reassuring him or herself. Mark nodded and brought her hand to his lips. He closed his eyes as he kissed it long and softly.

"I love you." He said against her hand and opened his eyes to look at her. She nodded in response, it felt like all they could do was nod.

"I love you too." She said, her words were barley above a whisper because she fought to not cry.

A smile appeared on his face as he looked at her. A moment later he squeezed her hand before letting it go and got out of the car. Lexie checked her make up in the rear view-mirror and wiped her eyes before the tears escaped. She was determined to not cry. Not yet anyway.

"Hey! There you are!" Derek exclaimed as he noticed Mark and Lexie. He had been waiting with Meredith for a while now.

"Yep. Here we are." Mark said and forced a smile out. He looked over at Lexie who approached Meredith and hugged her tightly. She needed a hug and she felt like Meredith would be the most comforting one to hug right now.

Derek watched them for a moment and then looked back at his friend. "Guess we should check in the luggage." He said. Mark nodded. It would feel good to have that done so they could focus on other things later. "Be right back." Derek said and grabbed his luggage. Without a word, Mark grabbed his bags and followed his best friend. He needed time to figure out something clever to say to Lexie. He definitely didn't want to leave things like this.

When Lexie knew they had left, she let go of Meredith and wiped her tears away. "I can't do this Mer. I just can't." She told her sister. To her, it felt like a funeral. In her mind she was already preparing to bury Mark before he even left. She was certain that he was gonna get killed over there.

Meredith grabbed her shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. "Yes, you can. You are gonna give him a long hug and a long loving kiss, say goodbye and then wait 6 months for him to come home." She told her firmly. Her little sister was struggling and she understood why. In that moment, Meredith felt lucky that she had come to terms with everything. "And we have each other." She added with a smile.

Lexie nodded and tried hard to believe what she was told. "He's gonna come back." She said quietly. "He is going to come back." She repeated. If she said it enough times maybe she would start believe it. "Everything will be fine."

From their place in the line, Mark watched the two sisters embrace each other. He noticed that Lexie was wiping her face and knew that she was crying. The sight made his heart break once again. The guilt was creeping up on him again. Maybe this was how army and navy people felt like when they were leaving for a mission. A heavy sigh escaped him and he turned his attention away from the sisters. He hated this. "They will be fine, right?" Mark asked the closest thing he had to a brother. He had always trusted Derek and always asked for his advice when he was struggling with something.

"Yeah, they will. It may seem impossible right now. But they will manage." He said softly and placed his hand supportingly on Mark's shoulder. He knew this was hard for him.

Soon it was their turn to check in the luggage. Everything went smoothly. Mark placed his boarding pass in his passport before placing it in his back pocket. He took a deep breath as they made their way back to their girlfriends.

Lexie looked up at the men as she noticed them. She looked back at Meredith and received a reassuring smile. Lexie made her way over to Mark and grabbed his hand. She turned them around and walked back a little. She felt like she needed some distance from her sister. After all, she was saying goodbye to the love of her life too.

Mark chuckled when Lexie led him away. "What's going on?" He asked. He was silenced by her lips capturing his in a soft kiss. He responded by wrapping his arms around her waist and pull her close to his chest. For a moment they were both lost in each others arms before they broke the kiss and pulled back slightly, still keeping their arms around each other. Lexie looked up at him and stared into his beautiful, blue eyes. She could drown in those eyes forever. And he felt the same way about her chocolate hues. Mark caressed her lower back with his thumb soothingly. He knew that was comforting for her. Lexie closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to say goodbye." She told him and kept her eyes closed.

Mark looked down at her even if she wasn't meeting his eyes. "Let's not say goodbye then." He told her and placed his hand under her chin and pulled it up so she would face him. "Let's say 'See you later". He suggested and waited for her to open her eyes.

Lexie opened her eyes slowly at his words. A few tears escaped again. "Okay." She said.

Mark pulled back from her and reached for something in his pocket. Soon he got the little black box and gave it to her. She frowned at the sight. Was he proposing again? Giving her another ring?

"What's this?" She asked as she grabbed it out of his hands and looked at it questioningly.

"Open it." He told her and nodded towards the box. "It's a present." He added. That was the only clue she was getting.

The word 'present' sounded good to Lexie so she opened the box and took out the item. Her eyes widened at the sight. "A locket?" She asked and looked up at Mark. It was a beautiful silver oval locket with a nice pattern on top.

"Look inside it." Mark told her.

She turned her attention back to it and opened it. Inside was a photo of the two of them. She recognized the photo as the one Mark has as her contact photo in his phone. His favorite photo, she remembered. She smiled at it. She turned her gaze to the other side. The words ' _I Love You'_ were engraved. "Thank you." She said as she knew what the gift meant. That he would love her no matter what happened and that he would always be with her. She closed the box before putting the locket around her neck. She would wear it every day, she promised herself. So she could keep him with her everywhere.

"You're welcome." He said and wrapped his arms around her again. He rested his head on top of hers and stroked her back. He caught the sight of the big digital watch on the wall. It was soon time for them to start heading to the gate. Lexie wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tightly. She still hoped that if she held on tight enough, he wouldn't leave.

"Lexie…" He started. In response she wrapped her arms more tightly around his waist. She knew what was coming out of his mouth. "Lexie. I have to go now." He told her softly, the words tasted bitter in his mouth.

Lexie inhaled his scent one last time before letting go of him. She pulled back and looked up at him. She nodded at his words. "Okay." She whispered. She was afraid that if she said her words out loud, her voice would break and she would break down in tears.

Mark brought his hand to her cheek and wiped away the tears before leaning down and captured her lips with his own. This is it, he thought to himself. Lexie settled with resting her hands on his chest. If she wrapped her arms around him again she was afraid that she would never let go again.

He broke the kiss and looked down at her. "I'll see you later." He told her softly. Those words felt better to utter than 'Goodbye'.

"I'll see you later." She repeated and met his eyes. And for the first time, she actually believed it.

Mark took a step back and looked at her before he grabbed her hand and turned to walk back to Derek and Meredith. "Guess we better get going now." He said as he approached Derek and Meredith who were just ending a long hug. Derek looked up at him and nodded before turning back to Meredith.

Mark looked back at Lexie. "See you in 6 months." He told her with a smile. Lexie nodded and tried her best to force out a smile. "And I'll call you as soon as we get settled." He assured her.

"Okay. Let's go." Derek said. Mark kept his gaze on Lexie for a moment which felt like a life time before breaking it and turn back to Derek. "Yeah." He said and let go of Lexie's hand. This was it.

Lexie watched as the two of them made their way to the security line. She grabbed Meredith's hand an prayed that she wouldn't break down in tears in front of everyone at the airport.  
Mark hadn't even left the ground yet and she was already missing him. These 6 months were bound to be hard.

Mark fought to not look back at Lexie. He knew that if he did, his heart would break again because he was sure that he once again was gonna see tears run down her face. He brought his hands to his pockets and sighed. That goodbye wasn't proper somehow, he thought to himself. He thought for a second and an idea formed in his head. He looked back at Lexie. She tried to smile at him through her tears and she waved at him. "Hold my spot." Mark told Derek before he crawled under the security band and ran back to Lexie. "Mark, what the hell are you doing?" Derek called after him but he didn't receive an answer.

Lexie frowned as she saw him run back. She let go of Meredith's hand and met him halfway. "Mark, what are you-" She was cut of by his lips on hers in a passionate kiss. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. Soon he pulled back and looked at her. "I don't want to leave it like this. I needed to say goodbye properly." He told her.

She giggled at his words. "We weren't supposed to say 'goodbye', remember?" She told him.

"I know. Sorry." He said. He looked down at her for a moment before zipping down his sweatshirt and prepared to take it off.

"Mark, what are you doing now?" She asked. Was he going to strip down naked in front of her and the rest of the airport? She wouldn't agree to have sex with him right then and there.

"I'm giving you my sweatshirt as well." He told her as he put it around her shoulders and helped her slide her arms into it. She looked at him questioningly but didn't argue. She would never turn down an opportunity to wear his clothes. "But what about you? You'll be cold on the plane." She said.

"I don't care, Lex. This t-shirt will be fine." He said and zipped it up for her a bit as if she was going to give it back to him as soon as he let go of it. When he finished his task, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for one last kiss. Lexie wrapped her arms around his neck and wished she wouldn't have to let go. Unfortunately, she had to when he pulled back. "See you later. I love you." He said before turning around and walking back to Derek in the line. He made it back just in time before it was their turn to pass security. Once they were through, both Mark and Derek turned back one last time and waved at their women before walking inside.

"Derek may be called 'McDreamy', but that was the most romantic and dreamy thing I've seen in my life." Meredith told her sister and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Mark really loves you." She added and smiled at her.

Lexie was still staring at the spot where she last saw Mark before he entered the gate area. She was smiling slightly and looked like she had just received her first kiss of her high school crush.

"He has his ways sometimes." Lexie replied and touched the locket Mark had given her. She would be okay.

When she arrived at the hospital that day she could feel his absence right away. Every time she turned a corner, she expected him to appear. And he had only been gone for an hour. Looking down at he watch she realized that they had probably taken off by now. She couldn't wait for his phone call so she could hear his voice again.

Lexie made her way to the resident's lounge to change into her scrubs and start her working day.

She pulled her hair into a ponytail and walked over to the nurses station where she spotted Chief Webber talking to someone. "Dr. Webber." She greeted him with a soft smile.

"Dr. Grey." He greeted back and turned his attention back to the man he was talking to. "Perfect, now I get to introduce you. Lexie, this is Dr. Andrew Wilson. He's the one who is gonna replace Dr. Sloan during these 6 months. Dr. Wilson, this is Dr. Lexie Grey." He introduced them.

"Hey, Dr. Grey. Nice to meet you." Dr. Wilson said and shook her hand.

Lexie shook his hand and got a good look at his face for the first time. And she had to admit, he was a good looking man. Nothing compared to Mark of course. But he was handsome. Light brown, almost blondish hair, brown eyes and killing cheekbones. He was for sure someone who the nurses and other female doctors were going to look at with admiration.

"Nice to meet you too." Lexie replied with a smile.

Andrew looked at her for a moment too long before letting go of her hand. "So you are the Lexie Grey who tamed Mark Sloan." He stated with a smirk. Lexie chuckled and nodded. She had heard that statement before. Andrew nodded and continued. "Mark, Derek and I went to med school together. Last time I saw him was at that conference last week. He spoke highly of you." He told her. "And when Dr. Webber needed a replacement for him, I heard that Mark recommended me." He added and looked over at Richard who nodded in confirmation.

Lexie nodded at his words. She had never heard Mark speak about this man before but she was excited to get to know him. "I am looking forward to working with you." She said. Everyone's attention was turned to their pagers as pretty much everyone was paged 911 to the E.R.

"Looks like we get to start right away, Dr. Grey." He said and started running down to the E.R.

Lexie stayed for a short moment to gather herself before she followed everyone to the E.R. She needed to let go of all the thoughts about Mark right now and focus on her work. And a really big trauma would be perfect.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey, guys. Thank you for all the reviews. It seems like their goodbye was acceptable. And I know some of you don't really like Andrew Wilson. Let's see what you think of him after this chapter :)  
** **And as I said last chapter, it will be a while before Mark comes back. But he will call Lexie everyday just as he promised.  
And now, on with the story. Enjoy :)**

* * *

Lexie sighed as she walked into the apartment. It had been a long day at the hospital today. That big trauma had resulted in a lot of patients and she had spent the whole day going between the OR and the ICU. Both because she had to and because she actually wanted to. There had been a young girl who Lexie connected with and she had stayed with her in the ICU. Lexie looked at the clock on the wall as she plopped down on the couch. It felt like a lifetime since Mark left and she was expecting him to call within the next hour. She knew it was a very long flight and probably it would be some kind of car ride from the airport to the area where they were staying. She started massaging her temples. She hadn't eaten anything since early this morning. She got up from the couch and grabbed herself a glass of water and an Aspirin to get rid of her headache. She sighed before she swallowed the pill. She wanted to go to bed but she also wanted to stay up until Mark called. She craved to hear his voice and she wanted to make sure that they made it there okay.

She sat back down on the couch with her glass of water in hand. She moved her hand and gently placed it over the locket that Mark had given her. That locket made her feel close to him even though he was in freaking Africa right now. The thought of the ring on her finger made her sigh lovingly. She was actually going to marry the love of her life. A smile covered her face at the thought. And then maybe another small life would come along. Kids were not something they had discussed earlier, but she knew deep down that she wanted to have Mark Sloan's babies.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her phone started ringing. She put away the glass and walked over to her purse where her phone was. Digging around in the purse, she found the item and looked at the caller ID. It was a number that looked international and she didn't recognize it so she figured it would be him.

"Hello?"

" _Hey, Lex. It's me._ "

The biggest smile in the whole world appeared on her features at the sound of her fiancé's voice. It had been two days and she already missed that voice like crazy.

"Hi." She replied and sat back down on the couch. Her hand found its way back to the locket and she gripped it tightly.

" _How are you?_ " He asked softly. She could hear that he was tired. But who could blame him? He had been on a plane for hours and then there was the jet-lag. It would take a few days for him to adjust.

"I'm fine. Tired, but fine. I've been at the hospital the whole night." She told him. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine his beautiful face in front of her. "You?"

" _I'm fine too. Also tired. I didn't get much sleep on the plane._ " He told her.

"Yeah. I know what you mean." She said and kept her eyes closed. She wanted to touch him so badly. Even more, she wanted him to touch her.

There was silence for a little while. Both were so tired they could fall asleep standing up. But neither of them wanted to end the call. She could hear Mark sigh heavily in the other end. She recognized it as a sigh of exhaustion.

" _I'm sorry, Lex. But I really have to go to bed now. It's morning here but I need to get a few hours of sleep before we start the day._ " He told her.

She responded by nodding her head. She was so tired she didn't even realize that he couldn't see it. "Yeah. I'm going to bed now too." She replied. That was actually kind of a lie. Since he left, she had been sleeping on the couch. It felt weird and lonely to sleep in that big bed alone.

" _Okay. I'll call you tomorrow._ " He told her and she could hear him yawn in the other end.

"Sleep well. I love you." She told him softly. She felt anxious about ending the call but she knew they had to do it sooner or later.  
" _I love you too._ " He said. There was a few seconds of silence before Lexie heard the beeping tone telling her that the call was disconnected. A heavy sigh left her. She slowly opened her eyes and put the phone back on the table. It was a very short phone call, but she knew it was because they were both tired. And when he called her later on they would probably talk for hours.

She got up from the couch and got ready for bed. The grey shirt Mark gave her was the one she was gonna sleep in. That was the closest she would get to sleep with him and it just would have to do. She went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. Even the bathroom felt bigger when Mark wasn't around. And not to mention the shower. 6 months without showering with him. How would she be able to manage? She looked at her reflection in the mirror. The grey shirt hung lazily over one of her shoulders and she couldn't stop imagining that Mark would come up behind her any second now and kiss the exposed skin on her shoulder and make his way up to her neck. The thought only sent shivers through her spine. She finished up and made her way back to the couch.

The apartment was too quiet, she thought so she turned the TV on. There were nights when she couldn't stand Mark's snoring. But now without it, she actually missed it. And she needed some kind of sound to make up for it. So she would listen to the soft sound of some random television program and she would fall asleep to it. Tonight was no different. Tomorrow would be a new day.

"Dr. Wilson, I'm on your service today." Lexie announced as she approached Dr. Wilson by the nurses station. They had been interacting with each other during the last few days. But she hadn't been on his service until now. And she was excited to work with him.

"Dr. Grey. Nice of you to join me." He replied and gave her a smile. Somehow, it reminded her of Mark. He also always smiled like that. She could never tell if he smiled like that to everyone or just her. And if she hadn't been engaged to Mark, she would probably have taken a shot at Wilson.

"So…" Dr. Wilson started and handed her the chart. "Mrs. Perkins. She was admitted last night for a breast reconstruction. She suffered breast cancer last year which resulted in a mastectomy of the left breast." Wilson explained as the walked to the patient's room.

"And today, we are giving her a new breast." Lexie finished and smiled proudly at Wilson before they reached the room. "Mrs. Perkins, I'm Dr. Wilson and this is Dr. Grey." He said.

"Hello." The woman who seemed to be in her early 40's greeted with a smile.

"Well, Dr. Grey. Present." Wilson told her encouraging.

"Ann Perkins, 42. Pre-Op day 1 for a breast reconstruction." Lexie presented without looking at the chart. The upside with a photographic memory. She just had to look at the page once and then she could retell everything.

"And you will be the one to do the surgery?" Mrs. Perkins asked Lexie with a smile. Lexie could tell that she was excited about this.

"Oh. Uhm… Well…" Lexie started and didn't really know what to say.

"Yes, she is." Wilson told the patient. Lexie looked at him quizzically and raised her eyebrows in surprise. "What?"  
Dr. Wilson chuckled. "Well. I think you can handle it. You've been on Dr. Sloan's service for quite some time and I bet you've performed a lot of surgeries like this." Wilson told her. He then turned his attention back to Mrs. Perkins. "But I will be there the whole time and make sure everything goes smoothly. You have nothing to worry about." He assured her and once again, gave her a smile just to kind of seal the deal.

Mrs. Perkins just smiled back. Lexie could tell that she wasn't worried at all. She trusted her doctors completely. Lexie on the other hand was a little uncertain. Was she really gonna perform this surgery by herself? Was she ready for that?  
"A nurse will be prepping you for surgery soon. I'll see you in the OR." Wilson told the patient before he left the room. Lexie gave her a reassuring smile before she walked out and caught up with him. "Are you sure about this?" She asked.

Wilson kept his attention to Mrs. Perkins' chart but still listened to her question. "I am." He said and kept making notes in the chart. "I know you've been Sloan's student and I want to see if he's been a good teacher." He said and looked up at her with a smirk. "Don't worry. I will be there the whole time. But I'm sure you can handle it. I'll see you in the OR." He said and gave her the chart before he walked away.

Lexie didn't know what to do or think. Sure, she had been on Mark's service for a while. But he would never let her perform a surgery by herself. Why was Wilson so nice to her? Was he trying to flirt with her? Of course she was glad that he had such confidence in her that he would let her to it. But it didn't seem right. She had about an hour before she had to be in the OR so she decided to find Meredith.

Lexie found Meredith in the cafeteria with Cristina eating lunch. She made her way over there and grabbed a bite of Meredith's sandwich without asking.

"Sure. Help yourself out." Meredith said with a chuckle. "How're you doing?"

"I'm performing a breast reconstruction by myself in 55 minutes." Lexie announced.

Meredith and Cristina just stared at her with wide eyes. "You're what?" Cristina asked.

"Why?" Meredith asked shocked. "I mean, I can understand why. But you're just a resident." She pointed out.

Lexie just nodded. "That's my point. Why is Dr. Wilson letting me perform a surgery by myself? Not even Mark would let me do that."

"Maybe he has a crush on you." Cristina said with a grin and took a bite of her salad.

"What?" The Grey sister asked in unison. She couldn't be serious.

"I don't know. Any better ideas?" She asked.

They went silent for a moment. Both thinking if Cristina could be right. "He doesn't have a crush on me. He's only been here for 3 days." Lexie pointed out.

"Well…" Meredith said and shrugged. "I had known Derek for a day and fell madly in love with him." She reasoned.

Lexie didn't know what to say. She didn't want to believe it. They had to be wrong. "Or maybe he just wants to see my skills." Lexie said. She was deciding on that reason. "Anyway. I should go prep for my surgery now." She said and stood up.

"Bye." Cristina and Meredith both said in unison and turned back to their lunch.

Lexie was standing in the scrub room, scrubbing in. She looked at the patient through the big glass window. And she had to admit, she was nervous. Mark had done this procedure a hundred times and she could practically do it by herself. But now when she got the opportunity, she wasn't so sure that she could do it. Dr. Wilson would be there the whole time, but she still felt a lot of pressure. She would tell Mark all about this when he called later tonight.

The door to the scrub room opened and Dr. Wilson made his way over to the sink beside her and started scrubbing his hands. "How are you feeling, Dr. Grey?" He asked softly.

"I'm nervous." She told him. "What if I screw this up?" She asked him concerned.

"You won't. Because I will be there the whole time. And because I trust that Sloan has taught you well." He said with a smirk.

Lexie sighed heavily. She needed to concentrate. One simple mistake and she could ruin this woman's life. She took a moment and tried to figure out what Mark would have told her in a situation like this to support her. _"You're Lexipedia for_ _God's sake. You can do this. Don't make me look like a crappy teacher now because we both know that I'm the best there is."_ He would say and then give her a wink or the infamous Mark Sloan smirk.  
A smile appeared on her face behind the surgical mask. Mark's imaginary words actually helped. She was ready. "Okay. Let's do this." She said and walked into the OR.

The surgery went well. Dr. Wilson practically just stood there while Lexie did all the work. Mark would have been so proud. She met up with Meredith outside the scrub room and gave her a big, tight hug. "I did it. Oh my God, I did it!" She exclaimed happily. "I did the surgery by myself." She told her.

"I know." Meredith said with a smile. "I was watching you from the gallery. You did great!" She told her and pulled back from her little sister.

As they pulled back from their hug, Dr. Wilson walked out of the scrub room. "Great job in there, Grey. I'm happy to announce that Sloan has been doing a great job teaching you." He told her with a smile.

"Thank you!" She said. "Thank you so much for letting me do it." She added and walked closer to him. They hadn't known each other very long, but she was so happy and excited. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a hug. "I'll tell Mark." She told him.

When she let go of him and took a step back, reality hit her. The happy look on her face turned into horror when she noticed the questioning look on Wilson's face. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry." She apologized. Hugging an attending like that wasn't exactly appropriate.

Wilson just chuckled. "No problem, Grey. I was just taken by surprise. I'm glad that you're so happy about this." He told her honestly.

Lexie just nodded and removed a strain of hair behind her hair. "Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow." She said with a smile before she walked off with Meredith.

" _No way! You performed a breast reconstruction by yourself!?_ " Mark asked dumbfounded in the other end of the line. Lexie laughed. She knew he would be surprised and probably not believe her.

"Yeah. That's what I just said." She told him. "Dr. Wilson was there the whole time and he was ready to help me if it was necessary. But I did it all by myself." She retold him. "He said that you have done a great job teaching me so I think you deserve some credit." She said. Her hand subconsciously found its way to grip the locket Mark gave her.

She could hear Mark laugh. " _Wow. I am so proud of you, Lex. That's a big step._ " He told her and she could almost feel his big genuine smile.

"Thank you." She said lovingly. "How's it going down there by the way?" She asked.

" _It's okay, I guess. It's hard sometimes because we don't have all the surgical instruments necessary. But we manage._ " He told her. " _And I miss you._ " He added softly.

Lexie closed her eyes at his words. She wanted to see him, be able to touch him, feel him. But she couldn't. And she was worried that it someday would kill her. "I miss you too." She replied. Her thumb was tracing the round form of the ring that Mark had bought her. She looked down at it and smiled lovingly. "I can't believe we are getting married." She told him.

Lexie could hear Mark's chuckle. One of the best sounds in the world. " _I know. I can't wait._ " He said. " _In a few months you will be Alexandra Sloan._ " He pointed out.

Lexie smiled widely at his words. "Alexandra Sloan…" She repeated. "What about Alexandra Grey-Sloan?" She asked. "You know, since it would be either two Dr. Grey or two Dr. Sloan. So maybe Dr. Grey-Sloan." She suggested. It was more an attempt to teas him. Of course she wanted to be called only 'Sloan'. But she would probably keep 'Grey' at the hospital.

" _Grey-Sloan? Are you serious? No way. You can be Dr. Grey at work. But you will be Mrs. Sloan in private. And I won't take no for an answer._ " He said with just the same amount of humor in it.

Lexie laughed. She suspected that they would be teasing each other about this until the actual wedding day. And she didn't mind one bit. "Okay." She agreed. "Alexandra Sloan it is." She said with a smile. She enjoyed saying that name.

She could then hear someone on the other line in the background calling for 'Dr. Sloan'. She realized that Mark was needed now. She could hear him sigh before he spoke.

" _Sorry, Lex. Trauma coming in soon. I need to go._ " He told her a bit disappointed. She knew he wanted to talk to her some more.

"I understand. But you'll call me tomorrow, right?" She asked.

" _Yeah. Of course. Same time tomorrow._ " He reassured her. " _Bye, Lex._ "

"Bye, Mark." She said and soon heard the beeping tone again. She sighed and leaned back on the couch. For the first time since he left, she actually felt like they would make it. They would survive six months apart. Everything would be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey, guys. Thanks for all the reviews. I take it that you still don't like Andrew, haha! Well, we'll see where it goes :)  
If you have any ideas for new stories, feel free to send me a message or leave a review. :)  
Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

It started off as a normal day. Lexie woke up in her big bed and still missed the warm body she usually woke up next to. But she was dealing with it. And to be honest, she did it better than she could ever imagine. Mark had been a good boy and called her everyday. Just like he promised. They had both adapted to this new life and it felt good. She still missed him of course and couldn't wait for him to be back in Seattle. But it was okay.

A few weeks had now passed since Mark left. Work had been like usual, minus Mark and Derek.

She had been scrubbing in a lot with Dr. Wilson lately. For some reason, he always requested her. Lexie figured it was because of her photographic memory or that he thought that she had potential for plastics. Either way, she didn't mind. She had been considering to specialize in plastics later on. But she still had time to decide and try everything.

Lexie took some time to fully wake up and get lost in her thoughts for a while before she got up and got ready for the day. The showers became quicker for some reason now when Mark was gone. It could be because of the shower sex she wasn't having, but she didn't mind. It gave her more time to enjoy breakfast and take her time to get to work.

"Dr. Grey." Wilson greeted when she approached him by the nurses station.

"Dr. Wilson." Lexie replied with a smile.

"It's a wonderful morning, isn't it?" He asked and mirrored her smile. Although to Lexie, it felt like a different kind of smile.

"It is." She agreed. "Although… I don't know. I have a feeling." She told him.

"A feeling? What kind of feeling?" He asked concerned, with a slight of hope in the mix.

"I don't know." Lexie said and glanced around as if she was gonna find the answer soon. "Like… Something is gonna happen." She told him and looked back at him.

Then it happened. They all received a page with the word 'Lockdown'. Lexie looked down at her pager and then back at Wilson. A lockdown could be called because of so many different things and she hoped it just was a baby that disappeared or something. She looked back at Wilson. He seemed calm so that was a good sign.

"Excuse me, sir. You can't leave this area!" A nurse called a man who turned and fired two gunshots. Andrew threw himself over Lexie to protect her. She didn't have time to react before she was pushed down on the floor. She was breathing heavily and tried to wrap her head around what happened. When it seemed to cease, she crawled out of Wilson's grip and crawled around the counter and found the nurse dead. There was blood everywhere. "No… No, no, no." She said frantically and could feel Wilson pull her up. "Come on. I'm getting you out of here." He said and led her towards the elevators. People were running and screaming, it was chaos.

They got to the elevator and the time it took for it to arrive to their floor seemed to be a lifetime.

Finally it opened and the sight inside made Lexie to almost lose her breath. In the elevator floor laid Alex Karev. Blood were pouring out of his chest and he was unconscious.

"Oh my God…" Lexie breathed and sprung into action. Wilson was quickly behind her. "We need to get him into a room." Lexie told him and kneeled down to check Alex's pulse and breathing. It was weak but it was there.

With some help from Wilson, she managed to carry Alex to an empty conference room. They prepped him up and found something to use to put pressure on the wound. Lexie was panicking though. Suddenly she wasn't a doctor anymore. Suddenly she forgot every medical knowledge she had. She just went blank.

Wilson looked up at her and noticed the look on his face. "Grey." He called out but she didn't answer. "Grey!" He called out a bit louder. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at him. "You need to focus, Grey. He needs blood." Wilson told her. She looked back between the two males and then nodded. She swallowed a big lump in her throat. "Yeah. O-Okay. I'll… Get it." She said with panic in her voice. "I'll be right back." She said as she walked out of the room. She peeked around to make sure the shooter wasn't around. When the coast was clear, she quietly walked out and down the hallway, occasionally peeking over her shoulder to make sure the shooter wasn't behind her. She had no idea who it could be or why he was shooting people. But she didn't want to get shot. She found a shelf with some blood bags on it. Luckily it was 0-neg.

She grabbed the bags and turned to walk back. She made sure to keep look around every now and then. As she rounded a corner she saw a man who didn't look happy. Lexie was just about to tell him to get out of here because there was a shooter in the hospital when she noticed the item in his hand. A gun. She looked back up at his face and now recognized him. "Mr. Clark." Lexie breathed. She now realized why he was here. And who he was gonna shoot next. "I didn't want to kill all those people." He told her.

"I- I… I know you didn't." Lexie told him softly. He wasn't himself right now. She knew that.

"I just came to kill Dr. Shepherd, who for some reason isn't here." Mr. Clark told her.

"He- He's in A-Africa." Lexie whispered. The mention of Derek immediately made her thoughts wander to Mark.

Gary Clark nodded. He could only wish that Derek Shepherd would die over there then. He kept his eyes on Lexie. "I also came here to kill one other person." He told her. His eyes turned darker, if that was even possible. "You."

Lexie almost lost her breath at his words. She knew that. She knew that he came to kill her. It was his revenge since she pulled the plug on his wife. She shook her head. "Please." She whispered.

"Your hands killed my Allison. And now it's time for you to pay for it." He said and pointed his gun at her.

When Lexie saw the gun being pointed at her, she could only think about one person. Mark. The irony about her fear about him dying in Africa, and now she was the one dying. The thought of not being able to see him again almost killed her more than this gunshot would. How she would never be able to touch him or feel him again. She closed her eyes and prepared herself for what was about to happen. It was no use to try and escape. When her eyes closed, she could see Mark. Like he was standing right in front of her. She took a breath and then heard the gunshot. She subconsciously fell to the ground. She opened her eyes and looked down at her body. There was no blood, no wound. She glanced over and saw Gary Clark lying on the floor. He was the one who got shot. Lexie looked around and noticed a SWAT guy who waved for her to leave the area. She took a second to gather herself and some strength before she got up and ran back to the conference room. She sent a silent pray that Alex was still alive. With the SWAT team being here she knew it would be a short while before they would be evacuated. Lexie made her way back into the room.

"Lexie. Thank God. You got the blood?" Wilson asked as soon as she got in. Lexie didn't say anything as she handed him the blood. She was panting and sat down on a chair beside the table where Alex laid. Wilson got him the blood and did what he could to stop the bleeding and fix the damage.

After a while, the door to the room opened. Both Lexie and Wilson held their breath and thought it was the shooter until they sat the SWAT team. "This floor is secured. We are evacuating you now." The guy said. Lexie sighed in relief and helped Wilson get Alex out.

She wanted to ask about mr Clark but she couldn't open her mouth to speak right now. She was still in shock after everything that happened. All she wanted right now was to feel Mark's arms around her. She wanted him to hold her close to him and tell her that everything would be okay.

She snapped out of her thoughts as she realized they were now outside.

"Grey, you coming with us?" Wilson asked her when the paramedics wheeled Alex into the ambulance. She looked up at him and looked around. She needed to see Meredith. "No. I- I have to… Find my sister." Lexie told him with panic filled in her voice. Wilson nodded and jumped into the ambulance and it quickly drove off.

Lexie looked around for her sister. She hoped she was okay. Some of her other colleagues were out but there was no sign of Meredith. She looked around some more and then spotted Cristina talking to someone. It was Meredith. Lexie ran over to them and, without thinking, threw herself over her sister and embraced her in a hug. Meredith hugged her back tightly. "Please tell me that you are okay." Meredith whispered as tears ran down her face.

"I'm fine." Lexie said even though it was half a lie. She was okay physically, but she was breaking inside and she needed Mark more than ever. "You?" Meredith pulled back and looked at her. "Yeah. I'm fine." She said and broke down in tears. Lexie wrapped her arms around Meredith and let her cry against her. They stood like that for a moment before Owen arrived and offered them all a ride home. They dropped Lexie off and she practically flew up the stairs. She didn't bother to take the elevator because it would take too damn long. She got to the apartment and got inside. As soon as the door was closed she got down on the couch with her phone tightly in her hand. Mark would call soon and she didn't want to waist any seconds to answer it.

After what felt like three years, her phone rang. She didn't bother to check the caller ID before she answered. "Mark?" She asked frantically.

" _Hi, Lex._ " Mark said softly from the other end.

Lexie closed her eyes and tried to pull herself together. She took a deep ragged breath. Her hand found its way to grab the locket. That always made her feel close to him.

" _Lexie?_ " Mark asked concerned.

Lexie couldn't keep it in any longer. She had tried to be strong for so long since she left the hospital. She squeezed her eyes shut and just let the tears run down her cheeks. "Mark…" She breathed and tried to silence a sob.

" _Lexie, sweetie. What's wrong?_ " He asked softly. " _Sweetheart, talk to me._ "

"Some… Someone was shooting at the hospital." Lexie told him.

" _What? Where are you? Are you okay? Lexie, talk to me._ " Mark said and she could hear the panic in his voice.

"I…" She started and had to take a breath to strangle the sob that were threatening to escape. She swallowed a lump in her throat before speaking again. "I'm okay… I'm- I'm home now." She told him. She wasn't sure she could handle telling him right now that the guy was Gary Clark and that he actually pointed his gun at her. That she was one of his targets. She could tell him all of that later.

" _Okay. That's good._ " Mark told her softly in the other end and she could hear him sigh in relief. " _Was anyone…? I mean did anyone…?_ " He trailed off and Lexie knew what he was asking.

"No. I think everyone is alright. But he… He killed a nurse and he shot Alex. But I think he is alright." She told him.

" _But they got the shooter, right?_ " He asked.

"Uhm… I think he shot himself." Lexie told him. She then opened her eyes as she realized she hadn't locked the door when she came home. She quickly got up and placed the phone between her ear and shoulder before she locked the door and even put the chain on. She tired to open the door to make sure it was locked before she walked into the bedroom and laid down on the bed.

" _Okay. Then you know he won't come back._ " He said softly. She could hear him sigh again before speaking. " _Hey, Lex. Why don't you lay down in the bed and try to get some sleep._ " He suggested.

"I… I'm already in bed." Lexie replied and pulled the covers over her.

" _Okay. Good. Now, close your eyes. If the image of today's events appears, try to push them away and listen to my voice._ " He told her.

She closed her eyes and immediately the image of Gary Clark appeared. She tried to push it away and waited for Mark to keep talking.

" _I love you._ " He told her softly. " _I will be on the phone with you until you fall asleep. So just try to relax and listen to me. Don't talk._ " He explained to her.

Lexie listened to him and felt relieved when she realized that he could find a way to comfort her even through a freaking telephone. "Okay." She whispered and actually started to relax.

" _Good._ " He said. " _Just try to focus on your breathing. In and out in an even rhythm. The shooter can't get you now. Even if he was still alive he wouldn't be able to. You are completely safe in our apartment, Lexie. I promise. Everything will be okay. Meredith will be okay, Alex will be okay. You will get through this. Tomorrow will be a whole new day. And I will keep calling you and you can always talk to me about what's bothering you. I'm here for you, Lexie. And I always will be._ "

Mark's talking and soft voice made Lexie relax. As he told her all this she could almost feel him laying beside her in the bed. The only thing missing was his arms around her. She was so relaxed now and could feel her eyelids get heavier. The image of Gary Clark faded away and got replaced with the image of Mark. He kept talking soothingly and soon she actually fell asleep.

" _Goodnight, Lexie."_ Mark said before he hung up.

* * *

 **I know this chapter was kind of rushed. But we all know what happened in the episodes with the shooting. But in my story, Lexie's storyline changed. And I wanted to get to the part where she talks to Mark.  
In the next chapter, things will take a turn. Can you guess what? :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Surprise, update on a Friday instead of Saturday! :D I'm leaving town this weekend and won't have access to Wifi so I'm publishing now instead.  
Thank you again for all the reviews and favs/follows. You guys are awesome. :D  
A big warning for this chapter. I know this kind of topic is very sensitive to embark on and I hope I did a good job anyway. If you are sensitive, I recommend you to skip that part or this chapter all together. And if you have anything really bad to say to me afterwards, I would appreciate if you didn't say anything at all. All I can tell you is that this thing won't happen again in this story.  
Hope you will stay with me after this. It will get better for Mark and Lexie, I promise. Please don't hate me.  
On with the story.**

* * *

 _Lexie looked out through the small window of the helicopter. The sound from the propellers would have given her a hearing loss if it wasn't for the earmuffs. The place was a mess. There were small fires pretty much everywhere and the houses didn't exist anymore. That last bomb must have been very effective. She still didn't understand why they were taking her here though. Mark would be dead by now anyway. Maybe they wanted her to identify the body. She didn't understand African and they were bad at english so they had a hard time communicating with each other. But she would identify Mark's body and then she would go home and move on with her life. Just like Mark would have wanted._

 _The helicopter landed and they led her to an area a few miles away. She had no idea where they were taking her or why. No one told her anything. And she was too scared to ask the questions._

 _They soon reached an open area. Nothing was there. No houses or anything. Just two people. Two men. One laying on the ground and moving around in pain and the other one standing over him. Pointing a gun at the man laying down. Lexie recognized them both immediately. Gary Clark and Mark Sloan._

 _They pushed Lexie to move closer to the two men. As they noticed her approaching them. Mark looked up at her from his place on the ground. He was already bleeding from another gunshot wound. "Lexie! What the hell are you doing here?" He asked in a panicked voice that made her heart break. "You shouldn't be here. Go home!" He yelled at her._

 _Lexie still couldn't speak. She was in some sort of shock. She looked between Mark and the gun that was pointed at him. One shot and he would be dead._

 _"You killed my Alison." Gary Clark said in a low furious voice. "You killed my wife. And now I'm gonna kill your boyfriend." He told her._

 _A single tear escaped Lexie's eye and slowly ran down her cheek. She shook her head. "No… Please. Don't. Kill me instead. Let Mark live." She requested. "Please. He doesn't deserve this. It was my fault. Kill me." She repeated and took a step closer._

 _"Lexie, no!" Mark yelled at her. "I love you. You don't get to do this." He said and shook his head. Lexie saw that he started to look a little pale. She realized that even if Gary Clark would let him live, he probably wouldn't make it anyway. "Lexie. It's too late for me. You have to let me go." He said and started to get more tired. "Just one shot and it will all be over. I'll wait for you on the other side." He told her. "I love you." He said and closed his eyes and leaned back on the ground. He was ready._

 _Lexie was just about to protest when Gary Clark fired the gun. The gunshot hit Mark in the chest, right in the heart. He died immediately._

 _"No!" Lexie screamed as tears started to run down her face. "No! No! No!" She screamed even louder and ran over to where Mark was laying. She put her hands over the wound and pressed hard to keep pressure on it and stop the bleeding. "Mark! Wake up! Wake up, honey! Don't leave me!" She cried out. "Mark, please. You- you can't do this to me." She said as she started sobbing. "Please, Mark." She whispered and let go of the pressure. It was too late. Mark was dead now._

"No!" Lexie screamed as she sat up in the bed in one swift move. She was panting and she could feel fresh tears on her cheek. She glanced around the bedroom and realized it was just a nightmare. The same nightmare she had been having for the last weeks.

Ever since the hospital shooting, Lexie had been having nightmares about it. She was getting more and more worried and upset because Mark hadn't called for three days now. She knew she was overreacting. But after all, it was Africa. And he was in a war zone. She automatically assumed the worst.

She took a moment to gather herself before she got out of the bed and walked in to the bathroom. She made her way over to the sink and splashed some water on her face. She looked up at her reflection in the mirror. "He's not dead. He is still alive." She tried to reassure herself. "It's just technical problems or something. The phone is just not working. He will call soon." She said even though she didn't believe it.

She sighed and got ready for another day at work. That was pretty much all she could do to keep her mind off of Mark and his possible death.

—

Lexie spotted Owen Hunt by the nurses station. She took a breath and made her way over to him. "Dr. Hunt?" She asked and put her hands in her pockets.

Owen turned around and smiled at her. "Dr. Grey." He greeted and put his pen away. He noticed that she wanted to ask him something.

"I just…" She started and sighed since she didn't really know what to say.

"You just… What?" He asked and raised his eyebrows at her.

"Mark hasn't called for three days. And I'm starting to get worried." She admitted and looked up at him. "You've been at war before. What could have happened? Besides you know… Death." She asked. She was really worried now and hoped that Owen could sooth her somehow.

Owen sighed and looked down. He wanted to find something soothing to tell her but he honestly couldn't really find anything. "Well… It could be that the phones are just not working due to a storm or something. Or they have been evacuated." He suggested. "But I will tell you this." He said and looked her in the eyes. "Three days are nothing out there. Give it a week and if you haven't heard anything, and I mean anything, by then, you can start freaking out." He told her and placed his hand supportingly on her shoulder.

Lexie listened to him and thought that what he said actually made sense. She nodded her head and sighed. "Yeah. I'll try to not freak out until a week has passed." She told him.

"Good girl." Owen said and patted her shoulder before he left.

Lexie sighed and grabbed some charts to get on with her work. She hoped she would be able to get in on a surgery to keep her mind off of Mark.

—

After a long, rough day with nothing but death, Lexie was ready to get out of the hospital. She was gonna drown her sorrows in alcohol at Joe's. She slammed her locker shut and grabbed her purse before she walked out. She didn't acknowledged anyone as she walked through the hallways to get to the main entrance.

As she got out, she tilted her head upwards and welcomed the cold raindrops that now ran down her face. Lexie took a deep breath and tried to push away the image of dead Mark before she walked across the street to Joe's bar.

She made her way over to the bar. She placed her hands on the counter and thought for a moment before ordering. "Single malt scotch, please." She received a questioning look from Joe but he didn't say anything. He poured a glass and handed it to Lexie.

She looked down at the fluids in the glass and frowned. She never understood why Mark enjoyed that drink so much. Lexie had tasted it once and immediately decided that she hated it. And now she had just ordered one. She grabbed the glass and took a big gulp. She winced and made a sound. "Ugh." She muttered.

"Enjoying your drink?" A familiar male voice from behind her asked. Lexie chuckled and didn't have to turn around to know who it was. "Actually, Dr. Wilson. I don't. But I drink it anyway." She replied and looked over at him as he sat down beside her. He gave her the same smile as he always did and it made Lexie once again question it.

Wilson chuckled as he sat down beside her and ordered a beer. "Please. Call me Andrew." He told her. Lexie shrugged but nodded in acceptance. "Okay, Andrew. But only if you call me Lexie." She reasoned and smiled. She turned back to the glass and took another sip and winced just like before.

"Why did you order the drink if you don't like it?" He asked and laughed slightly.

"Because my boyfriend drinks it. And he's probably dead by now so… I don't know." She said and sighed heavily.

"He still hasn't called, huh?" He asked. Lexie responded by shaking her head and putting her face in her hand. Andrew took a sip of his beer and sighed. "I'm sure everything is fine. The phones are just broken or something." He said and hoped it would sooth her.

Lexie nodded again but it was just so he would stop talking about it. She didn't believe that everything was fine. She was certain that Mark was dead.

"So…" Andrew started and took another sip of his beer. "How long have you and Mark been together?" He asked and hoped it was okay that they talked about him.

Lexie took another sip of her scotch. The wincing had ceased a bit but it still tasted awful. "Uhm… About a year now." She told him.

Andrew nodded and then motioned to the ring on her finger. "And I can see it will be at least another year." He said and smirked. Lexie looked over at him and then down at her ring. She sighed. "Hopefully." She said and once again let her mind wander back to the thought about Mark being dead right now. The thought made her close her eyes and take another big gulp and this time, finishing it. She hissed and waved Joe over and ordered another one. She hadn't been eating much today and she drank this one so quick she already started to feel a little buzz. And she wanted to get hammered tonight so she could forget about her problems for at least a few hours.

A few drinks later, 7 more exactly, she was a bit drunk. She was laughing at a story Andrew was telling her. "No way!" She exclaimed and almost bent over the bar in laughter. "I don't believe it."

"But it's true." Andrew said and chuckled. Lexie's laughter was really something special, he thought to himself and admired the beautiful woman.

"Oh, man. What did the chief say?" She asked and wiped her tears. That was one of the best stories she's ever heard.

"Well. He just said, you know, 'Thank you, Dr. Wilson for your action. But your 30 hours are over now, go home." He recalled and shook his head at the memory. He was amazed at how easy it was for him to make her laugh. It might be because of the alcohol, but he had made her smile and laugh before.

Lexie shook her head and giggled. She glanced around and noticed that there were less people in the bar now. "It's getting late. Maybe I should get going." She announced and searched in her purse for her wallet.

"No, no, no." Andrew said and put his hand over hers to stop her in her tracks. "I'm buying." He said and showed her the money he had already got out of his pocket. "And I'm taking you home. You shouldn't drive now and I don't want you taking a cab at this hours." He told her softly and stood up to help her with her coat. Lexie only smiled and let him help her. "Thank you." She said and turned around to button it.

Andrew smiled at her and nodded. "You're welcome." He said and put on his own coat. "You ready to leave?" He asked and motioned for the door.

"Yeah, I am." She said and walked towards the door.

The car ride back to Lexie's place was quiet. Andrew was focusing on the road and to take left and right turns where he was instructed. Lexie tried to think of anything other than Mark and the fact that he hasn't called in three days. She just wanted to hear his voice. She _needed_ to hear his voice. She was considering asking Callie to let her spend the night there so she wouldn't be alone tonight.

Lexie sighed and glanced up at the apartment building as the car stopped outside. She looked over at Andrew and offered a thankful smile. "Thanks for the ride." She said and made sure she had everything before opening the door.

"Hang on. I'll walk you upstairs." He said and quickly got out of the car before she could protest.

Lexie raised her eyebrows but nodded in agreement. "Okay. It's not necessary but sure." She said and smiled at him as she led the way to the elevator that took them to the fifth floor.

Lexie slipped the key in the lock and unlocked the door. She walked inside and didn't mind that Andrew followed her. He glanced around the pretty small apartment and nodded. "This is nice." He complimented and looked back at her.

"It is." She agreed and put her purse on the counter and took her coat off. She then met Andrew's eyes. "Thank you. For tonight. And for taking me home and walking me upstairs. You're a nice guy." She said honestly

Andrew nodded and then took a few steps closer to stand in front of her. Lexie could feel the alcohol kicking in on her again and her reaction wasn't as quick as it used to. She looked up at him. His breath was blowing against her forehead. Before she could react, his hand went up to cup her cheek. The smooth skin felt like silk to him. She was so soft. He soon leaned down to capture her lips with his own in a soft kiss that he hoped would lead to something else.

Lexie, being in the drunk and confused state as she was, responded to the kiss. Her hands found their way up to rest on his chest. She hadn't been kissed in months and she really missed it. She had missed Mark's lips so much.

 _Mark._

At the realization about who she was in fact _not_ kissing, she broke the kiss and pulled back. Her soft, chocolate hues now looked more like the eyes of a deer caught in the head light. Lexie looked at Andrew with a shocked look on her face. She wanted to push him away from her, scream at him and ask him if he was crazy. But nothing came out. She was in shock and she knew she was to blame for this. She should have seen it coming and been prepared to stop him before their lips met. After a short moment, she finally found her voice. "I… I'm sorry. I can't do this-"

"Sure you can." Andrew interrupted her mid sentence.

Lexie squirmed and tried to figure out a polite way to ask him to get the hell out of her apartment. "Andrew…" She started but was interrupted again. This time with his lips. The kiss was so forceful she thought she was gonna break. Her hands moved up to his chest again but this time to push him away. She managed to break the kiss once again. "Andrew, stop it. Mark is in Africa. I can't do this."

"Exactly. He's in Africa. And no one will find out about this." Andrew reasoned and leaned down to kiss her again as his arms wrapped around her waist.

"No." Lexie told him firmly and tried to push him further away from her. "It doesn't matter where he is. I'm not doing this." She told him.

Andrew gave her a look. "A minute ago you seemed to want to. What happened?" He asked harshly.

"I realized what I was doing and that I didn't want to do it." She told him and hoped he would take that as his cue to leave.

Unfortunately, she was wrong.

Andrew got a grip on her and pulled her closer to him. His lips once again found hers in a more forceful kiss. "You can't just change your mind like that." He told her in a low, husky, threatening voice. "That's not how it works." He added and moved towards the wall right behind them. He pushed her against it and trapped her with his body. His hands moved inside her shirt and cupped her breasts. "I get what Mark likes about you." He whispered and leaned down to kiss her neck.

Lexie tried everything, she tried telling him no. She tried pushing him away. But every time she tried, his grip became harder around her. She knew what was about to happen and she couldn't do anything about it. Suddenly, her body went into shock. She couldn't get a sound out. Before she knew it, his hands had moved to undo her jeans and pull them down around her ankles. She tried to scream and push him away as his hands traveled up and down her body, exploring her every inch. But nothing worked. She couldn't do anything. A voice back in her mind told her to just go with it. Just let him do what he wanted to do and then he would leave. It would be over soon anyway.

Lexie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It would be over soon. And then he will leave.

 _It would be over soon._

—

After what felt like a lifetime, Andrew was 'done' and ready to leave. Lexie was laying in the bed trying to keep her tears in until he had left. She didn't want to show herself weak in front of him. She closed her eyes as she heard his zipper and knew that he was about to leave soon.

"Thank you, Lexie." He said with a smug grin on his face. "It would have been nicer if you had been more active. But this was nice too." He told her and took a few steps towards the door. "And I think we both know that if you tell anyone about this, there will be consequences. Consequences that Mark will have to pay for." He told her threatening and took a few more steps before turning around again. "I'll see you at the hospital, baby." He said with a smile before he left the bedroom.

Lexie waited a few seconds and finally heard the door close behind him. She got out of bed and practically ran towards the door and locked it. After she put the chain on she turned around and leaned back against the door as her tears finally escaped and sobbing took over her small body. "What the hell did I do?" She asked herself between sobs and slowly slid down the door to sit down on the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Her face fell to rest on her knees as she kept sobbing. This was a nightmare. The thought that hurt her the most right now was the thought of Mark. What would he say about the fact that she more or less let someone else have sex with her? She said no but eventually gave in under threats so it can't count as rape. Or could it? Probably not. And it doesn't matter anyway because there are no evidence. It's words against words.

After sobbing for a few minutes, Lexie got the strength to get up and get in the shower. She needed to scrub Andrew's touch off her body. The hot water felt good against her skin and she was quick to get the scrub soap Mark got her for christmas. She scrubbed so hard she was scared for a minute that she would cut herself somehow. She scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. But the feeling of Andrew's hands and body still lingered there. She threw the soap on the tile floor in the shower and leaned back against the wall and started crying again. Mark would never forgive her for this. And he would never believe her anyway if she told him that she was forced into the intercourse.

What she didn't know though, was that someone outside her apartment had heard what happened.

* * *

 **If you have read the whole chapter and still don't hate me, thank you so much. I can promise you that Mark will find out about this, it might take time though. But just bare with me. They will get their happy ending and Wilson will pay for it. This is the point in the story were it won't get any worse anyway.  
I'm sorry if I have offended you somehow. I hope you will keep reading.  
Stay tuned for the next update. Thank you.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Woho! Look who's back! :D  
** **I'm so sorry for this late update. Life has been taking over and I got some writers block. I'm very happy for the reviews I've gotten even though I haven't updated. And I hope you will be please with this chapter.  
** **If you have any wishes about where you want this to go, please let me know :)  
** **Here's chapter 11. Enjoy and please leave a review :)**

* * *

Lexie Grey's tears wouldn't stop running down her soft face as she ripped out the sheets in the bed. These sheets were always gonna make her remember the events of this night and she couldn't let that happen. She needed to burn them and just try to forget about everything. Mark still hadn't called which made her even more sure that he was dead. This was a nightmare. Or at least she hoped it was a nightmare and she would wake up in Mark's arms soon enough.

Every bad emotion that existed was going through Lexie's mind right now. Anger, hate, fear, sorrow and a ton of other emotions. How did she let this happen? She let a rapist into her home and she let him have sex with her. Mark would never forgive her for that. She was sure of it.

Her mind started racing. Along with her heart. She would have to work with the guy too. What if he raped her again at work? And she couldn't call the cops because of his threat. _Consequences that Mark will have to pay for,_ he had said. If Mark would be the one to pay if she ever told anyone what happened, it was not worth it. She would do anything to keep Mark safe. Even not tell anyone that she was raped.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her phone started to ring. Checking the time, she realized it was in the middle of the night. Who would be calling her now? The fear about it maybe being Andrew calling her made her freeze in her spot. Seconds passed before she decided to at least check who was calling before deciding on whether or not to answer.

Lexie made her way over to her purse and grabbed her phone. Her heart clenched at the sight of who was calling. **_Incoming call. Mark Sloan_** it said on the display on her phone. She took a second to gather herself before answering. "Mark?"

" _Hey, Lexie. I am so sorry for not calling._ " Mark started.

A sigh of relief left Lexie's body. She was scared that it wouldn't have been Mark on the other end of the line. That someone else called her from Mark's phone to tell her that he was dead.  
"It… It's been 3 days, Mark. What happened?" She asked him softly, trying to focus on not sounding too harsh. She was angry at him for not calling. He wasn't doing it on purpose of course, but nevertheless, the anger still lingered there. And the anger about tonight's events didn't make it better.

" _We…_ " Mark started and she could hear him sigh on the other end. " _We were attacked._ " He finished.

Lexie's eyes widened at her fiancé's words. So Lexie had been partly right. "You were attacked?" She asked and fought like crazy to not burst out in tears. "Are… Are you okay? Is Derek okay?" She added. The thought of anyone of them being hurt made her heart ache. Her hand found it's way to grab the locket Mark gave her. Just like she always did when she talked to him on the phone.

A few seconds passed before Mark answered. She could hear him sigh and it made her expect the worst. " _We're fine. Both of us are fine. Just minor injuries. Nothing serious._ " He told her in a soft, calm voice and she knew it was only because he didn't want to upset her any more than she already was. Mark always knew what she needed. Even through a telephone.

Lexie closed her eyes and gripped the locket more tightly as tears escaped her brown eyes. The only thing she wanted right now was to hold him. Stroke his hair and tell him everything would be okay. And she wanted him to do the same for her. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat in an attempt to cover the sob that threatened to escape. "What…" She started and cleared her throat again to find her strong voice. "What happened?" She had a good idea of what happened, but she needed details. And if she was being honest, she needed something to make her forget about the rape. Even if it was for a few minutes.

" _Some terrorist group attacked us. No one knows who or why. They just attacked the place and started shooting people. They kept us hostage for a few days. But we got away. Some patients and soldiers died. But I'm okay, Lexie. I promise you."_

Hearing Mark's voice combined with what he was telling her made Lexie break down in tears. She just couldn't keep it in any longer. "Okay. So what are your injuries?" She asked. The information would be too hard on her, but she had to know.

" _Lexie._ " He started but was interrupted before he could continue.

"No." Lexie told him firmly. "I have to know, Mark. I need to know how badly you're hurt because I can't stand another second not knowing. I've been not knowing for three days and now you won't tell me anything. Please, Mark. I'm begging you." Lexie didn't even care that she was crying. Sobbing even. This pain was just too much for her. She needed Mark to come home and she needed him to come home in one piece.

A few seconds and a heavy sigh later, Mark finally told her. " _They assaulted pretty much all of us. Some worse than others. I… I have some cuts and bruises. Derek doesn't think my jaw or nose is broken. But it hurts like hell. And I've lost some blood. Guess that's what you get for trying to protect people."_

Lexie Grey felt dizzy. This was really too much for her and she couldn't stand this for another second. The image of Mark being assaulted made her sick to her stomach. The other image of his face afterwards made her shutter. The tears kept streaming down her face and she didn't bother to hide the sobs. Suddenly, what she have been through is nothing compared to Mark. Her pain was more mental. Of course, Mark would probably suffer from nightmares and PTSD. So all together, he was worse hurt than she was. In that moment she found another reason to not tell him about it. He had enough to handle. "I need you home now, Mark. You have to come home now." She told him quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

" _Lexie, they can't send us home. Not yet. We still have to finish up what we started. And now they need us more than ever. I really want to go home, I do. But we can't. Just… A few more months. Eight weeks. Nine tops."_ He told her and tried to be as soft and gentle as he could.

Lexie had expected him to say no actually. However, the small hope that was left in her mind convinced her otherwise. She wanted to scream. She wanted to beg him to get his ass on the next flight back to Seattle. But she knew very well that it was no use. He was right, she knew that. But that didn't stop her one second to wish that he would listen to her. A small nod was the only response she could think of as she struggled to find her voice again. "Fine. Nine weeks and then I'm coming to get you myself." She told him in a firm tone. Her words could be received jokingly, but she needed him to understand that she was not joking at all. If he wasn't home in nine weeks, she would get on a plane and bring him back herself.

" _Deal._ " Mark responded. The tone in his voice confirmed that he didn't take it as a joke. " _Lex… I don't know when I can call you again."_

"It's okay." Lexie told him, only half-lying. "I understand. You need to find a safe place and build everything up again. But will you call me as soon as you can?" She requested. She figured that was the least she could ask for. "And… For God's sake. Be safe." She added in a harsh tone. Her feelings were all over the place and she didn't bother to hide it anymore. He should be glad that he was protected from her via telephone because otherwise she would punch him like she did after he saved her from the car.

" _I will. And I will."_ He confirmed. " _I'm so sorry, Lexie. I have to go now. I will be home in a few months. I promise. You will have me back alive and in one piece. I love you."_

A few more tears escaped as she realized this was the end of the phone call. They would end it, and then she would go back to worrying. Worry about another terrorist attack. The thing she'd been worrying about since he told her about the trip. "I love you too." She whispered. A few seconds passed before the call was disconnected. Lexie walked over to the couch. Putting the phone down on the coffee table, she realized she was shaking. Another round of dizziness hit her and the nausea was still bothering her. She sat down and pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them. The tears still streamed down her face and soon, the sobs left her louder than ever. Would this nightmare ever end?

—

The next day, Lexie was shaking as she put her stuff in her locker. She had barely slept the night before. The tears wouldn't stop streaming down her face and the sobs kept her up all night. After an hour, she put on one of Mark's t-shirts and hoped that would sooth her enough to get some sleep. However, she was wrong. Thinking back, she figured she managed to get at least an hour of sleep. Hopefully, she could get some sleep in an on call-room later during the day.

Finishing up in the residents locker room, she put on her hospital ID while she left. She was assigned to Dr. Torres today. Apparently, Callie had requested her and she didn't know why. Maybe there was a big surgery and Callie needed Lexie's photographic memory. She honestly couldn't think of another reason. They weren't exactly friends. Which was still weird since Mark was her best friend. Wasn't Mark's friends supposed to be Lexie's friends? She shook her head and pushed the thoughts away as she found Callie by the nurses station. Making her way over to the orthopedic surgeon, Lexie occasionally glanced around to make sure no one was following her. Andrew, more exactly. The thought about him sneaking up on her out of nowhere sent chills through her body. Hopefully, she could avoid him. She had decided to make work forget about what happened last night. And spending the day with Callie would hopefully help. "Dr. Torres." She greeted as she approached Callie who didn't look happy. Bad day, Lexie figured.

"Dr. Grey." Callie responded without looking at her. She continued making some notes in a chart.

"You requested me on your service today." Lexie said with a slightly uncertain tone. Maybe there had been a mistake and she wasn't supposed to be with Callie today.

"I did." Callie replied and still didn't look at the younger surgeon. Callie's behavior made Lexie suspicious. "I just got a page from Arizona. A new born baby with a dislocated shoulder." She informed her and handed the chart to the nurse. Glancing over at Lexie real quickly, she gave her a look Lexie couldn't really place. "Let's go." She said and started walking.

Lexie was a little taken aback by the look she just received. She couldn't place it, but it felt like a look of accuse. Like Lexie had done something really wrong and Callie was mad about it. She shook the thought away and followed her mentor of the day. They could talk about personal stuff and solve this later.

The two surgeons walked in silence towards the pediatric department of the hospital. Lexie wasn't particularly interested in peds for a specialty. There was something about sick babies that made her stomach twitch. She could understand why Arizona didn't want to have babies of her own. After a moment of thought, she realized she could consider OB/Gyn. Lexie was interrupted in her daydreaming when they reached the wing. Lexie glanced around and soon spotted Arizona by one of the incubators. "What do we got?" She asked and went into doctor mode. For some reason, she felt the need to prove to Callie that she was a good doctor and that she shouldn't be disappointed in her choice of resident.

"Premature. Born at 32 weeks. Dislocated shoulder during the delivery." Arizona informed as she looked up at her wife and the younger resident.

"Grey, what do you want to do?" Callie asked. In that way, Lexie found Callie as a great mentor. Callie always treated her students as if they already were experts on the field. And if they didn't know the answer, Callie stepped up as the teacher. Lexie liked Callie as a mentor.

"Well…" Lexie started and examined the baby. "It doesn't look that major so I suggest we pop it back into place right here." She told the attendings and glanced up at them.

Callie nodded and put on some gloves before she took a few steps closer to the incubator. "I will be right here. You are gonna do it." She told her.

Lexie watched the latina and nodded. Taking a deep breath and swallowing hard, she turned back to her patient and gently popped the shoulder back in place. She had done that procedure a hundred times on adults, but never on a baby. Luckily, she made it. A sigh of relief escaped her along with a smile. However, Callie Torres didn't smile back.

"Okay." Callie said and removed her gloves. "We're all done here. Good job, Grey." She said and walked towards the door.

Lexie glanced back at the baby and then removed her own gloves before following Callie out. Something about her behavior was starting to irritate her. "Dr. Torres, hold on." She called and started jogging to catch up with her.

Stopping and turning around, Callie crossed her arms over her chest and gave her the classic Torres stare. "What?" She asked in a harsh tone.

In that moment, Lexie knew for sure that Callie was mad at her about something. And the way Callie was acting made Lexie slightly angry. "What is your problem with me?" Lexie asked in the same harsh tone Callie had used just seconds earlier. "Is there something I have done to you that requires an apology or something?"

"No." Callie told her firmly, raising her voice a little. Taking a step closer, her eyes turned more and more angry. She was really pissed. "But you have done something to _Mark_ that requires not only an apology, but a very good explanation and you getting the hell away from Seattle."

"What? What are you-" It took a slight moment, but soon Lexie Grey understood exactly what Callie was talking about. Her eyes widened and her heart started to beat faster. A lump was forming in her throat. "You heard." She said, more a statement than a question. In that moment, Callie's earlier behavior was clear as a day to Lexie. And she now understood why she was requested to Callie's service today.

"Yes. I did hear." Callie started as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I heard grunting and him moaning. The walls aren't that thick. And then I saw him come out of your apartment."

Lexie didn't know what to say. Telling her attending that she was raped wasn't gonna do any good. She wouldn't believe it. Confessing that she slept with the scumbag would also made things worse. But worst of all, Mark's best friend knew that another man had been in his bed with his girlfriend. And rape or not, Lexie knew that Callie wouldn't shut up about it. Tears welled up in her eyes and she looked down in order to hide it. "Please, Callie. Don't tell Mark. I will do it myself the minute he gets back. And then I'm leaving Seattle. I promise. Just let me tell him." She pleaded. This was something Mark had to hear from her.

After a few seconds of silence that actually felt like 3 hours, Callie made a small nod, indicating that she understood and agreed to not tell Mark about it. "Okay." She said in a monotone voice. "I just don't believe how you could do this to him. I thought he proposed to you. You're getting married to him and as soon as he leaves the country, you jump into bed with someone else."

Lexie was about to respond when their conversation was interrupted by a third person approaching the two female surgeons. "Good morning, ladies." The male voice greeted. The male voice that sent chills through Lexie's body. The male voice she'd rather die than hear. The male voice that belonged to the scumbag who raped her just 12 hours earlier. Lexie froze in her spot and closed her eyes. She swallowed the lump in her throat and hoped the nausea would go away soon.

"Morning, Dr. Wilson." Callie greeted and made sure to avoid eye contact with him. She was mad at him, but she was more mad at Lexie.

Wilson offered both of them a small smile and took a step closer to Lexie. Realizing she wasn't even looking at him, he raised his eyebrows and chuckled slightly. "What's the matter? Not even looking at me today?" He asked.

"Leave me alone." Lexie managed to get out through clenched teeth. "Just leave me alone." She repeated. She was fighting so hard to not break down in tears. Showing her weakness was the last thing she was gonna do.

Wilson chuckled again and took a step back. "Okay, fine. Just saying good morning." He said and held his hands up in defense. "Have a nice day." He said and touched Lexie's arm before he walked down the hallway.

As soon as Lexie realized he left, she let out a big sigh of relief along with heavy breaths. She though she was gonna pass out. Putting a hand against the wall, she put her weight on it and tried to gather herself. The tears threatened to escape but she was still fighting it.

Callie had been watching them and noticed something. Lexie wasn't avoiding Wilson to show him that last night was a mistake. She avoided him because she was disgusted. And watching Lexie's reaction after he left only made her more certain that she was disgusted. "Lexie." She said her name ever so gently. Watching the woman in front of her like this soon made her realize what actually happened. "Lexie… What happened exactly?" She asked and took a step forward.

Lexie couldn't keep the tears in any longer. Feeling the realization hit Callie made her break. She knew Callie asked the question even though she already knew the answer. "Please don't leave me alone with him." She pleaded as a sob escaped.

"That bastard." That was all Callie could get out. The anger towards Lexie was quickly replaced. She didn't have to hesitate one second about whether Lexie was telling the truth or not. It was clear to Callie that Lexie didn't have sex with Andrew Wilson willingly. "What did the police say?" She asked in a much more soft tone of voice.

"I… I never called the police." Lexie confessed and knew how stupid that sounded. "I can't. He… He said he was gonna make Mark pay if I ever told anyone." As the words left her, she realized that Callie now knew. Her eyes widened as she looked up at the woman in front of her. "Oh God… He can't know that you know. Callie, please. I can't have Mark pay for this. He… I don't know what Wilson is gonna do, but he could be capable of anything. Please, Callie." She rambled and was now shaking.

Callie watched the younger surgeon in front of her and felt her heart break for the poor woman. By the time Lexie had stopped talking, Callie had broke the distance between them and pulled her in for a hug. "Shh. It's gonna be okay. I'll keep you safe until Mark comes back. You're staying with me from now on. He's not gonna hurt you again, I promise you that."


	12. Chapter 12

**FINALLY! Chapter 12 is finished and published. Thank you for being patient with me and still staying with this story. I love you all so much!  
This is the chapter I've been waiting to write for a long time now. And I hope you will be as pleased with it as I am. In the author's note I wrote (which I deleted) I promised you a surprise in this chapter. Hope you like the surprise :)  
Stay tuned for the next update. I'm starting school this week but I will try to update this story regularly :)  
Enjoy.**

* * *

Lexie sighed heavily as she closed the locker in the resident's lounge. She didn't quite feel ready to be back yet. Luckily, Callie had been kind enough to let her stay with her just so she would feel safe. And on top of that, Callie had helped her let the chief give her a few days off just to relax and breathe. Wilson hadn't contacted her at all in the last few days which was a huge relief for Lexie. But today was her first day back and she was freaked out. She had been praying every day for a week now that Mark would be back soon. She hadn't talked to him since the last time he called. But staying with Callie and Arizona really helped.

Lexie pulled her hair up in a ponytail as she left the resident's lounge and walked down the hallway. She offered smiles and kind 'good morning's to nurses that passed by. Every corner she turned, she looked over her shoulder one extra time just to make sure that _someone_ wasn't following her. She wasn't sure she would be able to handle seeing him today. Thankfully, she was assigned to Bailey's service. Of course that didn't automatically rule out any collaboration with the plastics department, though. God, she missed Mark.

It didn't take her long to find Dr. Bailey. Lexie took a moment to go into doctor mode and push out any personal issues before she made her way over. It had been a few months since she was on Bailey's service and she was actually looking forward to it.

"Dr. Bailey. I'm assigned to your service today." Lexie announced casually, as if Bailey wasn't aware of which resident she would be working with today. After all, Bailey knew everything.

"I am well aware of that, Dr. Grey. Thank you very much." Bailey replied in the typical Bailey-way, not even looking up to meet her resident's eyes as she was making notes in a chart.

"Got any interesting cases for today?"

"Nope. Nothing interesting today. We're gonna start off with a kidney stone the size of a golf ball." She replied and finally looked up to meet her resident's eyes as she handed her the chart. "Lead the way, Dr. Grey."

Lexie took the chart and looked at it for a moment. With her photographic memory she just had to look at the page once and then she would remember the whole thing. The very big benefit with a photographic memory. The big downside was that you still remembered the things you just wanted to forget. No, she was not gonna go down that road. Not today and not right now. Pulling herself together, she looked up at Bailey and nodded before she closed the chart and started walking towards the patient's room.

During the short walk to the room, Lexie occasionally looked over her shoulder and double checked every corner and room to make sure Wilson wouldn't show up. The very last thing she wanted was to see him now. Or ever. She occasionally glanced over to Bailey to make sure she didn't notice her strange behavior. Thankfully, she was occupied with reading the chart.

Before she knew it, she was standing in the patient's room. A rush of relief shot through her body. No Wilson in sight and from now on, she would be able to push everything out for a while as she focused on her patient. Hopefully the surgery would be soon so she could hide for a few hours.

"Dr. Grey, present." Bailey requested in a light tone, pretty different from the one she'd used earlier.

Lexie cleared her throat and put on a small smile before she began. "Eric Parker, 48, is here today for a ureteroscopic kidney stone removal." She explained.

"My third one this year. Will these things ever stop growing?" Mr. Parker asked with a light chuckle.

"Hopefully they will soon enough." Bailey replied with a smile as she made her way over to the bed to check the patient's IV.

Lexie grabbed a pen from her coat pocket and placed it by the paper on the chart, ready to start writing. "Okay, Mr. Parker, I just need to ask you some pre-op questions." She began and waited for him to nod before she started asking the basic pre-op questions such as anaesthetical problems or medication allergies.

Lexie took an extra moment to finish up the notes. She always wanted to be a little bit extra accurate when she was with Bailey. Her pen was scratching against the paper when Bailey suddenly cleared her throat and started speaking. "Dr. Grey, when were Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Sloan supposed to be back from Africa?"

The question came as a surprise to Lexie. Talking personal stuff wasn't exactly Bailey's style. Although everyone seemed to ask when Mark and Derek were coming back. The question had been popped about three times already since she got to the hospital this morning. Without looking up from the chart, she just shrugged casually as if the question was about the weather. "I'm not sure. The last I heard it was gonna be a few more weeks. I haven't talked to Mark since. Why?"

If Lexie had been looking at Bailey, she would've seen the smirk on her face. "Interesting. Then I guess they got home early. Or am I just imagining them standing there talking to Dr. Hunt?"

A big frown covered Lexie's face as she finally lifted her eyes from the chart to look at Bailey. What the hell was she talking about? It was first now she noticed that Bailey was looking out to the hallway with a big smirk on her features as her eyes were focused on a specific point. Slowly, Lexie started to realize what Bailey was talking about. Suddenly it felt like everything was going in slow motion. She swallowed hard before she turned her head to follow Bailey's gaze.

Out in the hallway by the nurses station, Mark Sloan and Derek Shepherd were currently involved in a conversation with Owen Hunt. All three men were smiling and laughing, however, the only man she was focused on was Mark. The white dress shirt he was wearing matched perfectly with the denim blue jeans. And of course it was a perfect match to his tan.

Without even excusing herself, Lexie just put the chart down on the table and slowly made her way out of the room. It felt like some kind of dream, like this wasn't even happening. The sound from the busy halls suddenly disappeared and became blurry. Her gaze was kept on Mark the entire time. As she got closer, Mark finally turned his head and noticed his girlfriend approaching him. The already big smile on his face widened even more as they made eye contact for the first time in five months. Lexie could feel tears well up in her eyes as she picked up a few steps and started to jog towards him. The distance between them wasn't that big, but it felt a thousand miles long anyway.

Lexie picked up the pace further and literally ran the last few inches. In mere seconds she reached him. She made a slight jump and jumped up into Mark's strong arms. He instantly wrapped his arms around her and just held her close. A chuckle left him as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Hey there-"

"Shh… No talking." Lexie interrupted him in a whisper as she buried her face in the crook of his shoulder, just breathing in his scent and closing her eyes. "No talking. Just hug me."

"Okay." Mark whispered back and turned his face and planted a soft kiss against her neck.

Lexie fought her tears as she closed her eyes and felt the world close around them. For a moment, it was just her and Mark. No one else. She would not cry right now. They stayed like that for a moment before Lexie opened her eyes and broke the silence. "I missed you." She whispered softly, certain that her voice would break if she talked in a normal tone.

"I missed you too, Lex." Mark replied softly. Smiling widely as he planted another kiss to her neck.

He waited until she started to unwrap her legs from his waist, before he put her down. His hands moved up to cup her face so he could keep her close to him. Lexie smiled up at him as they locked their gazes on each other. He didn't waste another moment before he leaned down to capture her lips with his own in a soft kiss. Lexie wrapped her arms around his neck to keep him as close as possible and just leaned into him. Finally she was kissing him again. And this time it really was _Mark_ she was kissing as well. Mark's hands moved down from her face to wrap around her waist, and he couldn't help but pull her even closer to his body. They kept the kiss soft, none of them planning on deepening it or taking things further. They pulled apart when oxygen was needed and just looked at each other. It all felt like a dream to Lexie. She was just waiting for Mark to suddenly disappear and then she would wake up in their bed, alone.

As if she wanted to make sure he was real, she pulled him in for another tight hug. When he responded to it and hugged her back, she closed her eyes and smiled to herself. _He is real._ She thought to herself. The tears threatened to escaped her eyes again but she still refused to give in. Around them, she could her laughter and chatting and she recognized Meredith's and Derek's voices. Finally they all were together again. Both Grey sisters had their boyfriends back. She made a promise to never let him go again. This one time was more than enough.

After taking a moment to breathe in Mark's familiar scent again one last time, she opened her eyes. Which she regretted the same moment. But there was no turning back now. She slightly froze in Mark's arms as she locked eyes with the man she did not want to see right now. Or ever. Farther down the hallway stood Andrew Wilson and viewed the hugging couple. In an instant, the nausea was back and the memories of that night shot through her mind like a punch. As if to prove a point or somehow show him where she belonged, she wrapped her arms tighter around Mark's neck and shoulders and gripped his shirt. Just to seal the deal, she planted a kiss to his neck just like he did earlier. _Just turn around and go away. Don't come over here._ She thought to herself.

The sight of Wilson was getting too much. She cleared her throat and pulled herself together before she pulled away from Mark and smiled at him. "Uhm… I…" She trailed off with a light giggle. "When did you come back?" She asked and glanced over to Derek. Anything to push Wilson out of her head.

"We landed just an hour and a half ago. We meant to call and announce that we were coming home but we decided to surprise you instead." Mark replied with a wink.

To both their surprises, Lexie giggled and took it lightly. "Well, you succeeded." She said and placed her hands in her coat pockets when she realized her hands were shaking. If it was because of Mark or Wilson, she didn't know. But she wouldn't let Mark notice it.

Their peace was interrupted when a new person approached the small group. "Hello, everyone." Andrew Wilson greeted with a warm smile.

Mark's face lit up like a candle when he turned around to notice his old friend. "Andrew! Great to see you, man. How've you been?" He greeted him with a man hug. It had been forever since he'd seen him.

"I've been great. I love this hospital. The colleagues are amazing and don't even get me started on all the cosmetic surgeries. I totally understand why you came here." Wilson replied happily.

Lexie kept a fake smile on her face as she watched her future husband and brother in-law along with Dr. Hunt discuss memories and patients with the man who raped her. She wanted to vomit. Could this get any worse? She didn't even want to think about it.

Meredith glanced over at her little sister and noticed that she seemed to be in deep thoughts. She made her way over and placed a hand on Lexie's shoulder. "Hey. It's okay. They're home now, and they will have to fight me if they think they will be able to go away again. He's all yours now and nothing bad is going to happen." She soothed her sister and offered her a warm, genuine smile.

Lexie just nodded at her sister's comforting word, not finding them comforting for one minute. Right now she wasn't afraid of Mark going away again, she was scared to death that he would find out that she had sex with another man. Because she knew that he would never forgive her for that, rape or not. "Yeah. I know. Thanks, Mer." She replied and smiled at her sister, trying her best to convince her that she believed her.

A few minutes later, the conversation between the four men started to fade out. Derek checked his watch and looked over at Mark. "I think we should get going. I need to go home and take a shower and then unpack."

Mark checked his watch as well and then nodded. "Yeah. A shower sounds amazing." He replied with a chuckle and turned back to Lexie. "When will you be home?" He asked softly as he moved closer to her.

"Uhm… My shift ends at 6, so around 6.30 perhaps." Lexie replied and tried her best to mirror his smile. A task that seemed impossible with Andrew standing just a few feet away from them.

Mark nodded and then leaned down to kiss her. "See you later, then." He said and chuckled before he kissed her again. "Love you." He added before he turned back to Derek. "Okay, Shep. Let's go." He announced and waited for Derek to kiss Meredith goodbye before they waved everyone else goodbye and headed for the elevator.

Lexie and Meredith stood side by side as they watched their boyfriends disappear into the elevator. Lexie didn't waste a second to get away from there, since Wilson was still standing there. "I have to go." She said quickly before she headed back to find Bailey. Hopefully she wouldn't have to interact with Wilson anymore today. Just feeling his eyes on her made her feel sick.

—

When Lexie walked through the door to their apartment around 6.24pm, she was exhausted. Her emotions where everywhere and having Mark back took more energy out of her than she would imagine. A small smile found it's way onto her face as she spotted Mark by the kitchen counter, pouring wine into two glasses. "Hey." She said softly. Out of habit, she closed the door, locked it and then put on the chain. That had been routine since the night Wilson raped her.

"Hey." Mark replied with a warm smile as he watched his girlfriend. He found it a little strange that she put on the chain. She had never done that before. But then again, he knew that there had been a shooting at the hospital so maybe that's the reason. He decided to not question it any further. "Dinner should be ready soon."

Lexie removed her purse and coat and then inhaled the smell of the room. "Mmm. Smells great. What did you cook?" She asked and walked close to the kitchen, taking a peek into the oven. "Oh! Lasagna!" She exclaimed happily before looking up to him again.

"I considered just ordering a pizza or something but then I realized that I wanted real food." He said and walked closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. "I missed you."

Lexie's arms automatically wrapped around his neck. "I missed you too, Mark." She replied with a giggle. It had only been a few hours since they last saw each other at the hospital. Silence fell between them as they just stared into each other's eyes. It was first now she noticed the bruise right by Mark's eye. Her smile dropped from her face as she moved her hand to touch the bruised skin. "Are you gonna tell me what happened?" She asked hoarsely, not sure she really wanted to know.

"Later." Mark replied quietly. "Maybe not tonight. But I will tell you." He added and offered her a small, reassuring smile before he leaned down to kiss her. Lexie welcomed the kiss gladly and made sure that it would last for a minute at least. Kissing Mark seemed like the only way for her to forget about everything bad that had happened. Both to her and him.

However, the kiss didn't last for very long. They were interrupted by the timer on Mark's phone, indicating that the dinner in the oven was ready to be taken out. Mark just chuckled at the interruption before he cleared his throat. "Dinner's ready." He announced as if she didn't understand that.

"So it is." Lexie giggled and pulled away from him. Glancing over to the table, she now noticed that he had decorated the table perfectly with two lit candles. For that brief second, all her problems just washed away and her main focus was Mark. She decided in that moment to make sure her bad thoughts stayed away and that she was gonna focus on the present.

—

"So…" Mark started as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. "There was a shooting at the hospital." He said softly, not knowing which better way to approach the subject.

Lexie froze in her seat as he mentioned the shooting. She swallowed hard and put the fork back down on her plate before taking a sip of her wine. Making eye contact with Mark suddenly became difficult and she wasn't sure she wanted to talk about this. "Uhm… Yeah. There was." She confirmed.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, keeping his eyes on her as he waited for her to meet his eyes. "You kinda freaked me out on the phone when you told me about it."

"Sorry about that." She said quietly, almost as if it was wrong of her to tell him.

"So?" He pressed.

"So, what?" She asked confused, finally meeting his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Here was her chance to tell him that Gary Clark actually pointed his gun at her and was more than ready to fire it. Here was her chance to open up and tell him about the trauma she'd been through. But she couldn't. Somehow there was a barrier that kept her from telling him about traumatizing incidents. She took a breath and thought for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. I'm fine." She said and faked a smile.

Mark watched her and could tell that she wasn't telling the truth. But out of respect, he decided to not push it. He knew that she would come to him and open up when she felt ready. Maybe it was wrong of him to press this subject on her so soon. "Okay." He said and nodded before finishing his wine. He got up from his seat and started collecting the dishes.

"Thanks for dinner." Lexie told him warmly with a smile. "It was delicious."

"Thank you." He replied and kissed her forehead before he walked over to the sink. He decided to leave this for tomorrow. He would be off work anyway.

Lexie finished her wine and then took the dirty glasses to the kitchen and placed them in the sink among the plates. "We should get a dishwasher." She said with a chuckle as Mark went back to get the rest of the things on the table and blow out the candles.

"We should." He agreed as he came back. He placed the wine bottle in the cabinet and threw away the napkins. "I have a few days off now so I can go dishwasher hunting tomorrow." He said with a chuckle as he wrapped his arms around Lexie again.

"Sounds great." She replied and smiled at him as she placed her hands on his chest. The feeling of his heartbeat against her palm felt amazing. God, she'd missed him.

Mark looked into her beautiful, brown eyes for a moment before he leaned down to capture her lips with his own. He placed one hand on her lower back as the other one moved up to her neck, his fingers gently running through her brown curls.

Lexie welcomed the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck. Kissing him was an addiction she never wanted to cure. Their lips moved in perfect synch and successively, Mark started to deepen the kiss. His hands started to travel down her body and he left light squeezes. He briefly pushed her shirt up a little bit and brushed his fingers against her soft skin.

It took her a moment to realize what was happening. She knew it was Mark, but all she could think about was Wilson. He had touched her in similar ways as Mark did right now and it freaked her out. She trusted Mark with her life, but the night with Wilson was still too fresh in her mind. A million thoughts were running through her head along with a million emotions. She couldn't have sex with Mark right now. A sound left her mouth that to her was some kind of way to get him to stop, but he mistook it for a moan and kept going. It was first when he released her lips and moved down to kiss her neck, that she finally could take a breath of oxygen and come back to reality. "Uhm.. Mark." She breathed, hoping that he wouldn't notice that her heart probably would beat out of her chest in mere seconds, and not because of arousal.

"Yeah?" He whispered against her skin, not planning to stop what he was doing.

"Mark, wait." She breathed as her hands moved down to his upper chest, signaling that she wanted him to stop and trying her very best to not push him away with all the force she could manage.

"What?" He asked softly as he pulled back to look at her, obvious to the fact that she didn't want him to continue. "What is it?" His hand moved up to cup her cheek.

Lexie swallowed hard and locked eyes with him. "Just… Not tonight, okay? I can't. I…" She tried to think of a good lie, because she didn't have a good enough reason to not have sex with him that didn't include telling him the truth about Wilson. "I want to, I do. But it's just…" _A lie. Any lie._ "I just got my period." _Good one._

The lie obviously worked because Mark softened instantly and his lust filled eyes were replaced with a look of understanding, and a bit of guilt. "I see. I'm sorry." He said and offered her a smile.

"No, I'm sorry." She replied quickly. "I want to, you know I do, but-"

"Lexie. It's not your fault. You can't control your period." He said with a chuckle, not really understanding why she was apologizing.

Lexie took a breath and nodded, relieved that he bought her lie. "Okay. Thank you." She pulled away from him and removed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Can we just go to bed instead? Watch a movie or something." She suggested.

Mark smiled and grabbed her hand. "Yeah. I'd love that." He said honestly and kissed her temple before he started leading her towards the bedroom.

As they walked together to the bedroom and got ready for bed, Lexie was happy to have her fiancé back. However, she feared that their happiness wouldn't last long. She had not control over the future. And that scared the hell out of her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello, my dear readers. Thank you for still following my stories and leaving reviews! You guys are the best and your kind words makes my days!  
** **I'm half pleased with the third part of this chapter I think it got a little bit too dark. But my person and beta reader, Maria told me it was great. So here you go :) As long as you guys like it.  
And side note: I laughed so hard when Maria read the chapter and told me that she knew exactly which scene I thought of when I described how Mark laid in the bed. Is it really _that_ obvious? xD But seriously, he is so adorable in that scene. Sleeping Beauty.  
Hope you like this chapter as much as Maria does.  
And from next chapter onwards, we will slowly get to the part you've all been waiting for; When Lexie finally tells Mark the truth.  
I promise you a happy ending :)  
Sorry for super long AN. Enjoys this chapter and happy reading :) Kind reviews make my day.**

* * *

Lexie laid in bed with her fiancé. She had given up on sleep hours ago when she realized that it would most likely be impossible to acquire.

Once they had finally settled down in the bed, Mark had turned on the TV and flipped through the channels until they settled on one of the movie channels. She had to force every memory of Wilson out of her head as Mark pulled her close to his body. She knew that Mark wouldn't make a move for sex tonight, but still she was afraid to be close to him. She just didn't feel comfortable being intimately close to any man. And that freaked her out and gave her such anxiety. So when Mark pulled her as close as possible and kissed the top of her head, she took a deep breath and tried to relax and remember that he wouldn't hurt her or force her into anything.

Watching the movie actually helped. _Mrs. Doubtfire_ had always been one of her favorite comedies. Laughing with Mark helped her relax and she eventually found herself leaning more and more against him. Once the movie was over, they kissed each other good night and waited for sleep to take over. It did quickly for Mark. He must have been exhausted from the trip back home because he fell asleep within minutes. A small smile covered her face when the sound of his light and soft snoring started to fill the quiet room. She had never missed such a horrible sound so much in her life before.

She had closed her eyes time after time, waiting for sleep to take over. But her mind wouldn't leave her alone. The memories of that night still flooded through her like waves and the fear of what would happen if Mark found out scared her. She was pretty certain that he _would_ find out one way or another. The idea of just telling him the truth had occurred to her, but she then remembered what Wilson had said. That if she told anyone, Mark in particular, he would be the one to pay for it. And she couldn't take that risk. The last thing she wanted was for Mark to get hurt.

It felt like the hundredth time she checked the digital clock on the nightstand, when she finally just gave up. Now the anxiety was filling her mind and body which didn't make sleep come any easier. After taking a deep breath, she rolled to her side and just watched Mark sleep. Normally, she would have fixated her gaze to his chest, just watch it rise and fall in an even rhythm as he breathed. But now he was sleeping on his stomach, his arms propped underneath the pillow and his face turned towards her. She fought the urge to run a finger over his face, afraid that she might wake him up in the process. Instead, she just laid there, watching him sleep peacefully. "I love you." She whispered softly. "I love you so much. I love you so much it almost hurts." As the words left her mouth in a soft whisper, she felt tears well up in her eyes. "And I'm sorry." She added and blinked back the tears that threatened to escape. "I am so sorry."

Lexie watched him for a few more minutes, just savoring the sight of him and the feeling of finally having him back, before she turned her back to him and decided that this time, she would fall asleep.

—

The next morning, Lexie woke up to the sound of someone doing something in the kitchen. After blinking a few times and fully wake up, she soon realized that Mark was making breakfast. Checking the clock on the night stand, she noticed that she had an hour before she had to be at the hospital. _One more hour until the fear and anxiety starts_. She thought to herself. Going in to the hospital was always hard nowadays. Hopefully it would get better once Mark got back to work.

She put on a sweater on top of her tank top before she got out of the bed and headed towards the kitchen. The smell of egg and bacon filled her nose. She knew that was for him since she was allergic to eggs. As she got closer into the kitchen, she saw the bowl of pancake batter. Egg free pancakes for her. A small smile found its way onto her lips as she took another step forward and watched him by the stove, cooking breakfast in just a pair of sweat pants. God, she'd missed that sight in the morning.

"Good morning." She greeted him with a smile, wrapping her arms around herself comfortably.

Looking up from the stove, he noticed her and mirrored her smile. "Morning." He replied before turning back to what he was doing.

"You're up early. I thought you had the day off." Lexie said, moving her hair to one side of her shoulders before she slowly made her way over to him.

"I am." He said without looking up at her, suddenly turning more serious and almost a bit uncomfortable. "I just… I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep so…" He trailed off.

"Oh… Jet-lag?" Lexie asked and placed her hand on his back, just savoring the feeling of his naked, warm skin against her palm.

"Yeah." He said without acknowledging her hand on his back. "And bad dreams." He added in a mumble, not really wanting her to hear the last part.

Lexie froze a little at his confession. Bad dreams. She knew what that was like. "Oh." She said quietly as she looked down at the floor. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Breakfast is ready." Mark announced as if they had never said anything after 'good morning'. "Could you bring the orange juice to the table?" He asked as he put the food onto their plates.

Lexie nodded and quietly brought the pitcher to the table before she sat down.

Silence fell between them as Mark brought the food to the table and they both started eating their breakfast. Lexie didn't know what to say. Obviously, he didn't want to talk about those bad dreams. And to be fair, she didn't want to talk about her nightmares and that other big thing she tried hard not to think about.

"Did you sleep well?" Mark asked softly before taking a sip of the juice.

"Uhm… Yeah." Lexie replied without looking at him. "It took me a while to fall asleep, but yeah. Once I finally fell asleep, I slept well."

"Good."

Another moment of silence fell between them and it started to freak Lexie out. It gave her anxiety that they seemed to have absolutely _nothing_ to talk about. She took a bite of her pancake before breaking the silence. "So what are you gonna do today on your day off?"

He shrugged as he kept his eyes on his plate. "I'm not sure. Well, I'm gonna look at a dishwasher." He said with a chuckle. "Other than that… I don't know. Maybe just stay home."

Lexie just nodded. She had hoped that he would stop by the hospital just because. But that was probably not gonna happen.

They soon finished their breakfast. Lexie helped Mark put the dishes in the sink and clean up. After checking her watch, she noticed that she had to leave soon. "Well. Thank you for breakfast. It was really good." She said and kissed him.

Mark smiled against her lips and deepened the kiss a little. "You have to leave now?" He asked after he pulled away a bit.

"Yeah." She whispered, feeling the anxiety once again build up inside her. She really didn't want to leave. "I'd rather stay here with you, though."

A chuckle left him at her words, pulling her in for another kiss. "You'll be home soon enough."

Lexie just nodded and closed her eyes. "Yeah." She repeated and tried to gather herself. After a moment, she opened her eyes and forced a smile. "I better get dressed." She said and gave him a quick kiss before she turned towards the bedroom.

Mark smiled and watched her leave before he walked over to the couch and sat down. Picking up the remote, he turned on the morning news. Leaning back, he propped his feet up on the coffee table and ran a hand through his hair.

A few minutes passed before Lexie came out of the bedroom, dressed and ready for work. "Okay." She said to herself as she checked that she had everything in her purse. "Keys, ID, wallet, phone. Anything else?"

"Tampons." Mark replied as if she was talking to him, which he knew she wasn't.

"Hm?" Lexie asked as she looked up from her purse, not knowing what he was talking about.

"Tampons." He repeated, suddenly feeling awkward for having to remind her about sanitary protection. "You know… Since you're on your… Period."

Lexie's eyes widened. Luckily for her, he was still facing the television. She had completely forgotten about her lie about being on her period last night. "Oh- uhm- yeah." She stuttered and started to look around as if she would find her tampons in the kitchen. "Thanks. Right- I'll… I'll need tampons." For a moment she thought about how weird it was that Mark remembered those small details.

"Bathroom." Mark said with a chuckle when he turned around to look at her. "I believe you keep your tampons in the bathroom." He repeated.

Lexie stood still and just took a deep breath. She wasn't worked up because Mark almost saw through her lie. She was worked up because of the fact that she was in fact _lying_ to him. Using menstruation as an excuse to not have sex with him? That was crazy and wrong.

Mark watched her for a moment and then laughed lightly. "You want me to get them for you?" He joked.

"No. Thanks." She said softly, not picking up on the joke, before she put her purse down on the counter and headed for the bathroom to get some tampons.

She made it to the bathroom and back in mere seconds. After putting a few tampons in her purse, she put on her jacket and shoes and got ready to leave. "Have a good day, Mark." She said softly and glanced over at him on the couch. She still felt uneasy about him having bad dreams and not wanting to talk about it. "I… I love you."

"You, too. Bye." He said and watched her leave the apartment.

—

When Lexie got home later that day, she found Mark sleeping on the couch with the TV on. Poor guy must be exhausted from the jet lag and time difference. As she took of her coat and shoes, she glanced over and noticed the new dishwasher. A smile spread across her face, thank God for same day-delivery.

She took a deep breath and for the first time today, she felt calm. Looking back at Mark on the couch, she felt the calm spread and become bigger. The love of her life was home and safe. Slowly and silently, she made her way over to the couch and gently sat down beside his sleeping form. He must have felt the movement because suddenly, the calm look on his face disappeared. He started to frown and breathe heavily. "No." He mumbled as he started to turn his head back and forth as if to avoid something. "No, please." He said, still sleeping, in a more panicked way.

"Mark." Lexie called his name ever so softly. "Mark, wake up. You're dreaming." Her words didn't help. He just kept turning and got more and more panicked. "Mark, wake up." She repeated and touched his arm.

Mark woke up with a twitch. He glanced around before his eyes settled on Lexie. The realization soon hit him and he quickly got to his feet and started to pace. He couldn't get his thoughts straight.

Lexie took a moment to gather herself before she got to her feet and walked over to him. "Mark, will you please tell me what happened back there?" She pleaded. He wouldn't stop pacing so she grabbed his shoulder in order to get him to stand still. "Mark, please. I need you to talk to me."

Mark looked at her deeply in the eyes. She was right. And he really needed to tell someone. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. He then walked back to the couch and sat down. As he exhaled loudly, he put his head in his hands. He could feel Lexie sit down beside him, but he didn't acknowledge it.

.

 _"Derek, will you hand me that 3 inch needle please?" Mark requested of his best friend as he finished cleaning the wound on his patient's arm. It had been a hectic day with a lot of incoming traumas. But now it was starting to get calmer and both Mark and Derek took this opportunity to breathe as they worked on their patients._

 _"There you go." Derek replied as he handed him the needle._

 _"Thanks." Mark said as he sterilized the area before inserting the needle and injecting the local anesthetic. Stitching up this wound would be quick._

 _Silence fell between the surgeons as they worked on their patients. The only thing that could be heard was the nurses talking to each other as they too were checking on patients._

 _The calm would turn out to be more known as 'the calm before the storm'._

 _As Mark was just about to finish up, the door burst opened and guys with guns walked in, not even bothering to announce themselves before they shot both nurses along with the patients they were working on._

 _Mark and Derek shot quick glances at each other before getting to the other side of their patients' gurneys in order to protect them. It didn't take long for the gunmen to notice the two surgeons and one of them immediately walked over to them, rising his gun up to point towards them._

 _Outside they could hear people screaming along with guns being fired. Both Mark and Derek knew what this was - They were being attacked._

 _The patient on the gurney behind Mark started to wake up and moaned in pain. The sound brought the gunman's attention and he instantly pointed the gun towards Mark. "Get her to shut up." He barked._

 _"Please." Mark pleaded as he raised his hands in surrender. "Ignore her. She's in pain. And she's innocent. Just leave her alone." He tried to bargain. In all the fear and shock, he somehow got the feeling that it was Lexie lying on the gurney._

 _"Get her. To shut up." He ordered again, splitting the words to sound more threatening._

 _Mark swallowed hard and noticed something in the corner of his eyes, Derek was slowly trying to reach for something to defend them with. In the process, Derek managed to accidentally touch a scalpel that made contact with a glass container and made a noise. It didn't take long for the man to turn his head towards Derek and instead point his gun at him._

 _In pure instinct, Mark made a move and tried to attack the gunman. However, he noticed the movement and ended up hitting Mark with the gun. Mark fell to the floor and briefly saw the gun being pointed at him again before he saw Derek try to stop him. Mark tried to move, but he couldn't. Probably because of the pain in his head and the shock._

 _As Derek tried to fight the man, another one came up behind Derek and hit him in the head. He fell to the floor beside Mark. Mark squeezed his eyes shut as he heard the men fire their guns. He waited a moment to get shot himself, but he didn't._

 _A third man walked into the room and barked at the two gunmen, more like yelled at them. Mark couldn't understand them, but he soon felt someone pull him up to his feet and then basically push him outside. He managed to look backwards and noticed that they took Derek with them. Thankfully they didn't shoot him, just the two patients they had been working on._

 _While outside, Mark saw dead people everywhere. Some where patients, some where patients' family, and some where doctors and soldiers. He then noticed alive people being dragged and lined up._ This is it. _Mark thought to himself._

 _The push in his back was enough for him to get down on his knees. Derek was placed beside him and on his other side, other people were lined up and assaulted. People he had been working with and gotten to know. He heard mumbling. It sounded like prayers. People were praying to get out of this alive. Mark would too, even though he didn't really believe in God, but right now, all he could think about was one person. A person with long, dark brown hair, chocolate brown eyes and the most beautiful smile. He closed his eyes and mumbled the name of the one person he wanted to see right now._

 _"Lexie."_

 _._

"They kept us hostage for about 3 days." Mark finished and started massaging his temples. The headache from earlier today was coming back.

Lexie was speechless. All she could think about was how scared he must have been. Sort of like she was when Gary Clark pointed his gun at her. "I am so sorry, Mark." She managed to whisper.

Mark nodded and kept massaging his temples. He would need an Aspirin later. "Thank you for listening."

As if those words were the key words, Lexie moved closer to Mark and pulled him in for a hug. She wasn't sure if she was seeking comfort or if she was giving it to him, but either way, they both needed it.

Mark wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. Closing his eyes, he kissed the side of her head and moved his hand up to grab her hair gently, as if to keep her in place.

"He pointed his gun at me." Lexie mumbled, feeling the need to tell him about the shooting.

"What?" Mark asked, obviously confused.

Lexie took a moment to gather herself before she pulled away from Mark's embrace and looked deeply into his eyes. "Mr. Clark." She clarified as if that would make him understand. "Derek and I had to unplug his wife. So while you were gone, he came back to the hospital. He killed more than 10 people, he shot Alex. And when I went to get blood, I ran into him and he pointed his gun at me." She explained. "A SWAT guy saved my life."

"Oh, Lexie." Mark breathed and pulled her into his arms. He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "Thank God for that SWAT guy. I don't know what I would do without you."

"And I don't know what I would do without you." Lexie whispered.

"Neither of us will have to find out." Mark assured her. "We are both alive. Everything will be okay."

Lexie nodded and hugged him tightly. "Yeah." She whispered in agreement even tough she didn't believe it. After all, there was one more thing she had to tell him. Here was her chance to get all the secrets out there and tell him the truth about Wilson. All she had to do was utter the words. But right now, that seemed more difficult than ever. She didn't want to bother Mark even more when he was feeling like this. It wasn't fair. She couldn't tell him, not now. "Everything will be okay."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey, my dear readers. I apologize for the long wait. Thank you for being patient and reviewing on the last chapter! :D  
I wanted to get this chapter up like 2 days ago, but things came up. So I've been writing all night. In my opinion, parts of this chapter is completely crappy, but my person and beta reader is pleased with it so... :P Here you go. Happy reading and don't forget to leave a review! :D  
(This chapter picks up a few days after the last one)**

* * *

 _Lexie took a deep breath to gather some more courage before she made her way over to him. This was it. This was when she was gonna tell him the truth. Enough is enough._

 _"Mark." She called his name ever so softly as she approached him by the nurses station. So much for her courage._

 _"Yeah, Lex?" He looked up at her with his ocean blue eyes. The eyes that made her legs go weak._

 _"There's something I have to tell you." She wanted to go easy on him. She didn't want to just drop a bomb._

 _"Okay. What is it?" He asked softly, putting his chart and pen down on the counter to show her that she had his full attention._

 _"Well…" Why was this so hard? She had the sentence prepared in her brain already. "This might be difficult to hear… But… When you were gone… Wilson he… He raped me." There it was. The whole thing was out. She did it._

 _Mark's expression changed quickly. First he seemed surprised and almost shocked. And then a wide grin covered his face for a moment before he started laughing. "What are you talking about? Of course he didn't rape you." He said between laughs, as if he just repeated the point of a very funny joke._

 _Lexie's face dropped and her eyes went wide. Why didn't he believe her? "Yes, he did, Mark. He came back with me to our apartment after a night out at Joe's and then he raped me!"_

 _Mark obviously wouldn't believe her, he just kept laughing as if she told a joke. "Why would he do that?" He asked. "That's crazy."_

 _And whilst speaking of the devil, Andrew Wilson came up to them by the nurses station, curious to why his friend was laughing so hard. "What's going on?"_

 _"Oh, get this." Mark started as he wiped his tears from laughing so hard. "Lexie claims that you raped her while I was in Africa. How funny is that?" He explained and started laughing again. This was truly hilarious._

 _Wilson started laughing as well, leaving Lexie devastated. How could her boyfriend not believe her? "It's true." Lexie told the two male surgeons, trying her best to sound firm. It didn't work very good._

 _"Of course it is." Mark mocked and laughed. Eventually he was interrupted by his pager. "Sorry, babe. But I have to go now. Let me know when you want to tell me what you really came to talk to me about. 'Wilson raped me'. Hilarious, babe." He said mockingly as he patted Wilson on the back and then left. Leaving Lexie and Wilson alone by the counter._

 _Wilson stopped laughing and looked at Lexie with deadly eyes. "What the hell, Lex?" He asked her furiously. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Just telling your boyfriend like that. That's not okay, honey." He told her and walked closer. Dangerously close._

 _Lexie just closed her eyes and felt his presence around her. If Mark only had believed her when she finally told him the truth. "Please, don't hurt me." She whispered pleadingly, feeling his arms wrapped around her waist from behind. "Please."_

Lexie woke up with a slight twitch when she actually felt an arm over her waist. Panic filled her as she felt the body next to her in the bed move even closer, and really snuggle up against her back.

"Good morning." Mark said softly as he planted soft kisses against her neck, completely unaware of her fear in the moment.

"Morning." Lexie replied as tough as she could. Anything to not sound afraid. The last thing she wanted was for Mark to think that she was scared of him.

"Did you have a bad dream?" He asked with his lips against her skin. "You were kinda moving around a bit. As if you were trying to get away from something." With his hand still on her waist, he gently started rubbing a spot with his thumb.

Time. She needed time. Time to come up with a good lie, time to figure out a plan about this whole mess. She just needed _time_. "Uhm… I don't quite remember. But yeah. Kinda." There it was. Another lie. It felt like all she did nowadays was lie.

"I'm sorry, Lex." His voice soothed her a little bit. He always had that effect on her. "Maybe I can make you feel better." He suggested as his kisses on her neck became more heated. His tongue gently touched her skin as he kissed it. And he snuggled up even closer to her as his hand traveled up and down her side. He had been home for a week now. And her 'period' would be over by now.

Lexie closed her eyes in panic as she tried to figure out what to do. She _knew_ it was Mark and that he would never hurt her. But she couldn't go through with it. She just couldn't have sex with him. "Mark, we don't have time. We have to be at the hospital in an hour." She argued, praying that he wouldn't notice her voice shaking a bit.

"Great. That gives us 20 minutes." He said with a chuckle. Clearly not seeing the problem.

"Well, yeah. But it's your first day back. We should be there earlier." She argued. "And I need to shower."

Another chuckle left him. As if she was a child who tried to come up with good reasons to not brush their teeth. "Well, shower sex would save us some time."

"I'm serious, Mark." She said and actually made a move to get away from him a bit. "I have rounds at 7. I need to be prepared. And it's your first day back." She looked at him for a moment before she got out of the bed and quickly put on her robe. She was fully dressed in a long sleeved t-shirt and pajama pants, but she still felt naked somehow. "I'm sorry. I just really don't want to be late." She sighed in defeat and looked down as she tied the robe.

"Lexie." He said a little firmly. "Stop apologizing. You make it sound like you're obligated to spread your legs for me. Which you're not. You have a right to say no." He explained, feeling slightly disappointed but not showing it.

She looked up at him and had to stop herself from asking for confirmation on that statement. Did she really have a right to say no? Maybe she did, but did guys have an obligation to accept the no? Even though she didn't feel secure about what he said, she loved him even more for actually pointing it out. "I know." She finally said and offered him a small smile before she made her way towards the bathroom.

Mark watched her lovingly as she left. It felt kind of odd that she didn't seem to want to have sex with him. Before he left for Africa, sex was really important to her. He figured it would be just as important now. But he assumed that she had her reasons. And she _was_ right. They had an hour until their shifts started.

While Lexie was standing in the shower, feeling the hot water run down her head and body, she couldn't help the tears that ran down her cheeks. Everything was a mess right now. All she did was lie to Mark, when all she _should_ do was tell him the freaking truth. But she couldn't. Not after everything he's been through in Africa. That's enough trauma, he doesn't need the guilt too. Because she knew him. And he would feel guilty about leaving her and 'making' this happen. And she didn't dare to even imagine what Wilson would do to Mark if he found out.

She opened her eyes and wiped her cheeks as she looked down at her body. Luckily, the marks and bruises disappeared about a week and a half after the rape. She wouldn't be able to explain them to Mark if he saw them. And even though they weren't there anymore, it still felt like they were. So she always made sure that she was fully dressed and didn't undress in front of Mark. The physical bruises were gone, but the psychological still lingered there. And it was horrible.

After they both got ready for work and ate some breakfast, they were now standing in the middle of the apartment. Both making sure they had everything they needed. Lexie was checking her purse for like the fourth time before she finally accepted that she had everything.

"Okay. Let's go." She said determined with a small smile on her face as they headed for the door.

"Finally." Mark said with a smirk as he followed her. Suddenly, she stopped right by the door and turned around.

"Crap, I will need a sweater. Can you get one for me?" She asked politely.

Mark sighed in defeat and nodded. "Sure. Just anyone?" He asked as he turned for the bedroom.

"Yeah. Just anyone." She confirmed and checked her phone as he left.

When Mark got to the bedroom, he turned the light on and had already decided which sweater to get her; the purple one. He knew that was her favorite and he knew that she knew that. He opened the door to her part of the closet and checked the hangers for the item. But he couldn't find it. With a shrug, he just grabbed a dark blue one instead. No big deal.

Before he left, he checked the laundry hamper in the bathroom just to see if the sweater was there. It wasn't, which was odd.

He just took the sweater and walked back out to the living room. "Here." He said and handed her the sweater.

"Oh, thank you." Lexie said softly with a smile as she took it from him and put it on.

"I was gonna get you the light purple one, but I couldn't find it." He told her with a shrug.

Lexie froze at the words. Memories flashed before her eyes in an instant. She remembered how she burned that sweater along with the bed sheets and the rest of the clothes she wore that night. And now Mark noticed that the sweater was missing. How long before he noticed the disappearance of the rest?

"Lexie?" Mark asked softly and touched her arm. It was first now she realized that she hadn't responded in what must have been a minute by now.

"Uhm… Yeah, I think it's at Meredith's. I must have forgotten it there." She said as casually as she could. "But this one is great. Let's go."

Mark just nodded, slightly noticing her odd behavior but decided not to push it. With that, he followed her out and closed the door.

—

The trip to the hospital was quiet and relatively peaceful. They both seemed to focus on the day they had ahead of them. Mark was excited to be back at work, and Lexie just felt relieved that Mark was finally back. That way she would feel safer at work and hopefully Wilson wouldn't go near her.

"So…" Lexie started as they walked through the doors to the hospital. The sound of the busy hallways filled their ears. "Are you excited to be back?"

"Yeah, I am." Mark said with a smile on his face, taking a look around the place. It felt just like when he left.

"Great." She said and grabbed his hand.

They made it to the surgical wing in a few minutes. Soon, people they worked with started approaching Mark and welcome him back to work. Nurses, anesthesiologists and fellow surgeons. Lexie felt like she was walking with a celebrity. Everyone wanted to say hello to Mark and shake hands with him, which he gladly accepted.

"Mark! Welcome back!" Arizona exclaimed when she walked down the hallway with Callie. Smiling widely as she hugged Mark tightly.

"Thank you, Arizona. Great to see you too." Mark replied happily and hugged her back. Once they parted, he looked at Callie. "Cal." He said and reached his arms out.

"Mark." She replied with a laugh and wrapped her arms around his neck. As she looked over his shoulder, she made eye contact with Lexie, searching for anything that would indicate that Lexie had told him what happened.

Lexie just swallowed hard and looked down. She had promised Callie that she would talk to him, but she hadn't yet. And she felt bad about it.

They stood and chatted with Callie and Arizona for a moment when he showed up. The man Lexie didn't want to see at all. Just the thought of him made her nauseous.

"Mark Sloan. Great to see you back at work. I've been waiting for this moment." He greeted with the biggest smile. It seemed like he truly was happy to have Mark back.

"Andrew." Mark said and mirrored his smiled before greeting him with a man hug. "I'm looking forward to work with you."

"Well, lucky for you, you won't have to wait for long." Wilson told him with an excited tone. "I have a skin graft in an hour and I want you there."

"Absolutely!" Mark agreed.

Lexie felt like she was gonna pass out any second now. She couldn't take this anymore. With a light tug on Mark's sleeve, she offered him the softest smile she could manage. "I'm sorry, I have to go now. I have rounds soon."

"Yeah, yeah, go." He said with a smile and kissed her softly. "I'll see you later."

She made eye contact with Callie for a short moment before she left the group of surgeons. She took short quick steps down the hallway towards the residents' locker room, happy that no one seemed to follow her. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now.

Once she had changed into her scrubs and lab coat, she made her way to find Derek. She was happy to be on his service since it was his first day back as well. And it felt good since she had been taking a few days off to be with Mark. A smile covered her face when she spotted him writing in a chart.

"Dr. Shepherd!" She greeted happily as she approached him.

"Lexie! Great to see you." He replied with the same smile as he put the chart down and gave her a hug. "How have you and Mark been?" He asked and pulled back.

"Well, fine. We've just stayed at home and spent some time with each other." She said with a smile. "I actually wanted him to get out and meet your for a coffee or something but he refused." She added with a light giggle.

"That's nice." He said with a chuckle and turned back to the chart. "We're starting off easy today. Three aneurysms before lunch. Buckle up." He said and handed her the chart. "Lead the way, Dr. Grey." A chuckle escaped him when he realized that that sentence rhymed.

Lexie giggled at the joke as she took the chart and walked towards the patient's room. This felt good, Derek would help her to keep her mind off of things. And she wouldn't have to interact with either Mark or Wilson today. Thank God for that.

After presenting the patient and fixing the last details, Derek and Lexie made their way to the scrub room. Lexie was so happy to be back in the OR with a surgeon she felt safe with. And she actually could consider neuro as a specialty later on in her career. She took a deep breath as they were both scrubbing in. This felt amazing.

A chuckle left Derek as he had been eyeing Lexie for a moment. "You seem awfully happy."

Too bad Lexie was wearing a mask, otherwise Derek would see the smile on her face. "I am." She said happily. "I'm glad to be back in the OR. It's been a week. And I find neuro really fascinating."

"Huh." Derek said and turned his attention back to his hands. "Well, if you play nice, I might let you clip one of the aneurysms we have today." He said and turned the water off with his elbow. She could practically see the proud smirk on his face as he passed her in the scrub room. Once he was in the OR, she let out a happy sigh and felt a rush of adrenaline shoot through her body. This was great!

—

"So, Mark." Andrew started as they were working on skin grafts on a patient. "How's your week been? Spending a lot of time with Lexie, I assume."

"Yeah." Mark said and felt the smile grow behind his mask. Talking about Lexie always put a smile on his face. "She tried to make me leave the apartment and hang out with Derek, but I refused. I've seen the guy every day for the past 3 months, I've had enough of that face." He said with a laugh. He loved Derek like a brother and would probably never get tired of seeing him every day for the rest of his life. But he loved Lexie more.

"I bet." Andrew agreed with a chuckle, pulling Mark out of his thoughts. "How is our beloved Lexie doing by the way?" The grin on his face was covered by his mask. But that girl sure brought a smug grin on his face.

"She's doing fine, I suppose." Mark said and couldn't decide on whether or not to tell Andrew about Lexie's recent behavior.

"Fine? Just fine?" Andrew questioned, getting curious.

"Yeah. Just fine." Mark said and met his gaze before focusing on the skin graft. "I guess she's still getting used to the fact that I'm back from Africa." He added, more to himself than to the people around him. Maybe that was the reason to her odd behavior? That she still wasn't used to have him home.

"Well, I'm sure everything will be fine." Andrew said soothingly. "She's a tough girl."

"She is." Mark agreed and focused on what he was doing. "Can you hand me that clamp, please?"

"Sure." Wilson replied and gave him the clamp he needed.

Mark received it and looked at it for a moment and then just smiled. "God, I've missed real surgical instruments." He said with a chuckle before turning back to what he was doing.

—

"Dr. Grey, wanna do the honors?" Derek asked with a smile as he took a step aside from the patient.

Lexie looked up at him with wide eyes. "Re-really? You're letting me clip the aneurysm? Are you serious?"

A big smile covered his face behind the mask. "I am serious." He confirmed and handed her the instrument. "Now clip it before I change my mind." He teased.

Lexie took the instrument with a slightly shaking hand. She then turned back to the patient and took a deep breath. With her photographic memory, it wasn't hard to remember how Derek did this. With a gentle and steady hand, she clipped the aneurysm. After checking the monitor for any difference in the patient's vitals, she sighed in relief and put everything down. "Wow."

"Good job, Dr. Grey." Derek said proudly. "Okay, let's close him up." He announced and stepped back to help Lexie close everything up.

Lexie felt really good when she walked down the hallway a few minutes later. As long as she stayed away from Wilson, this day might turn out to be pretty great. She had passed the OR board on the way and quickly checked it. Mark had a solo surgery in about 30 minutes. Not that she was looking for him, she didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. And she also had another surgery with Derek in about 30 minutes as well so she tried to keep her focus.

She was walking past the on call-rooms when she suddenly felt someone grab her arm and pull her into one of the rooms. She heard the door close and her back hit the door in an instant. She didn't have time to react before someone's lips were covering hers in a heated kiss. Everything was going so fast. Her hands reflexively moved up to the man's shoulders. It was dark in the room and she couldn't see who it was. Panic filled her body completely when she realized that it probably was Wilson kissing her.

But then she briefly felt his beard brush over the skin around her lips. Wilson didn't have beard, but Mark did. Nevertheless, she tried to push him away. She was panicked and needed some air. Thankfully, whoever it was stopped kissing her and pulled back a little bit, letting her see his face.

It was Mark.

"Mark, what are you doing?" Lexie asked breathlessly, trying to let her mind catch up and steady her breathing.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He asked with a smirk and moved forward to kiss her again. He pushed her up against the door and let his hands travel up and down her sides.

Lexie pushed him away again. "Mark, wait." She said when his lips left hers, he was still very close, though. "You have a surgery."

"Wilson can do it." He said and kissed her again.

"Mark, no. I have a surgery as well." She argued and started to lose her patience. And courage.

"Derek can do it alone. He won't miss you." He kept kissing her, he needed her. Now.

"Mark, please." Lexie said and managed to cover a whimper in the last second. "I have to be there." She argued and put her hands on his shoulders to keep him in place.

The word 'please' was enough for him to let go of her. He realized that he had been kind of pushy, but he would never force her to have sex with him. So he took a step back to show her that he was letting her go.

Lexie looked at him and forced herself to breathe more calmly. She couldn't show him that she was truly scared. So instead, she straightened her lab coat and put a strand of hair behind her ear. "I have to go prep for my surgery now. I'll see you at home." She said and left the room. The guilt came rushing through her body as soon as the door closed behind her and she walked down the hallway towards the scrub room. This was a nightmare. Would she ever be able to have sex with him again? Maybe she would have to force herself to spread her legs for him. But not today.

—

Mark was standing in the kitchen later that night. His shift ended earlier than Lexie's so he just went home. She wouldn't be mad, he knew that. And besides, it was just more convenient for the person who got home early to prepare dinner. Mark was exhausted so he just ordered a pizza. Hopefully Lexie would make it home before the pizza arrived.

He was pouring wine into two glasses when the front door opened. Glancing up, he saw Lexie enter the apartment and take off her coat. The blue sweater fitted her perfectly. Her body was amazing.

"Hey." He called with a smile before he put the bottle away. "How was your last surgery?"

"It was good." She replied and forced a smile as she walked closer to him. "Derek let me clip all the aneurysms we had today."

"Wow. You're basically already a neurosurgeon, then." Mark teased and handed her the glass.

"Stop it." She said a bit shyly as she took a sip. "How was your day?" Suddenly it seemed like they weren't gonna talk about the incident in the on call-room.

"It was good. It felt great to use real instruments again." He said and took a sip as well, eyeing her as he did so.

"I bet." She replied and avoided eye contact. She just wanted to go to bed and forget about this day.

"Listen." Mark said and put his glass down on the counter. "I've been thinking, and I know why you've been so… Distant."

Lexie froze a little at his words. He knew? How could he know? And what did he know exactly? Did Wilson say something? Or Callie? She swallowed hard before forcing herself to meet his blue eyes. "You do?"

"Yeah." He confirmed and took a step closer, his eyes as soft as ever. "Everything happened so fast and we've both been through a lot. I left for Africa, things happened over there and then I got home without warning. It's been a lot for you to process, and I understand that."

Lexie had to hide the sigh of relief that escaped her. He didn't _know._ She just looked into his ocean blue eyes as he spoke.

"So I won't pressure you anymore. I would never force you to anything ever. So I will just back off. Whenever you feel ready to… Get physical, I'll be there. So just take your time. I'm not going anywhere." He smiled lovingly at her before he touched her cheek gently. After looking into her eyes for a short moment, he leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips.

A part of her wanted to protest, tell him that he was wrong and tell him the real reason she didn't want to be physical right now. But she couldn't. It was like a big wall appeared that kept her from telling him the truth. When he broke the kiss, she touched his cheek and looked into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He smiled lovingly at her. Suddenly, they were interrupted by the doorbell. "Oh, pizza is here. I hope you're hungry." He said and grabbed his wallet before heading for the door.

"Yeah." Lexie said and watched him. She loved that man so much. And she really hoped things would get easier from now on.

* * *

 **I know, I know. Why can't Lexie just tell him already? I'm internally screaming at her. But next chapter, things will take a sharp turn. We're slowly getting to the part we've all been waiting for. So stay tuned for the next update. It's one you don't want to miss! :D  
Thank you for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I couldn't stop myself. The day after I published chapter 14, I had to start writing chapter 15. Things are getting so intense and I needed to get this one up asap! We are slowly getting to the part we've all been waiting for and I hope you like this chapter as much as I do.  
Keep in mind that there are two different cafeterias in this chapter :)  
Enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review! :D**

* * *

"Hey, Lex. I was thinking about something." Mark started as he poured some coffee into his mug.

"Oh, yeah? What?" Lexie asked from her place on the couch, eating cereal and watching the morning news.

"I was thinking about talking to the chief." He put the coffee kettle away and took a sip.

A light chuckle left her when she realized he ended it there. "Uhu? About what?"

"About giving Wilson a permanent contract."

Lexie almost caught some cereal in her throat but managed to swallow in the last minute. Suddenly the nausea hit her like a wave and the cereal suddenly weren't as appealing as they were a few minutes ago. She slowly put the bowl down on the coffee table and took a deep breath. The thought of having Wilson at the hospital a longer time than expected made her wanna jump off the roof. "Uhm… May I ask why?"

Mark took his coffee mug and walked over to her on the couch. "Well… I don't see why not. He's an excellent plastic surgeon, he's a close friend and I think he will be a great addition to the staff. The plastics department could use more surgeons." He took another sip and eyed her. "Why, is there a problem?"

 _Yes, he raped me._ Those words were easier thought than spoken. It felt like everything came crashing down around her and she couldn't do anything about it. "Well… His contract is for another three months. Doesn't he have another job to get back to?" The hope rose like a phoenix.

Mark chuckled lightly. "I'm pretty sure he can resign from that job and come work with us." He kissed her on the cheek and smiled lovingly at her. "I haven't talked to the chief yet. He might say no. We'll have to see." With the smile still on his face, he got to his feet and walked towards the bedroom. "I'm just gonna get changed and then we can go to work, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay." Lexie said and leaned back on the couch. She pulled her knees up to her chest as she looked at the bowl of cereal. The nausea wouldn't leave her. If Mark managed to get Wilson to work with them permanently, she didn't know what to do. Right now, she seriously considered breaking up with Mark and moving to a different state.

Mark was really proud of his idea. Andrew Wilson really was a great plastic surgeon and it would be amazing to have him work with them. Together, the two of them could make the best plastics department in the country, maybe even the world. They hade made a great team so far, why not continue it?

He put the mug down on the night stand and then turned to his closet. Opening it, he quickly scanned the hangers with his eyes before settling on a regular pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. After changing, he checked himself in the mirror and then turned back to get his coffee mug. While grabbing it, he got a bad grip and dropped the mug on the bed, spilling out the coffee on the sheets.

"Oh, crap." He muttered and picked up the mug and put it on the night stand. There was no need to call Lexie for help so he just ripped out the sheets and crumpled them before throwing it into the laundry hamper. They still had time before they had to leave for work so he made his way to the closet again and opened the cabinet above, where they kept the sheets and bed sets. He was searching for the red sheets. 'Their' sheets. He checked the cabinet but couldn't find what he was looking for, which was pretty odd. And they weren't in the hamper. "Hey, Lex! Come here for a sec!" He called.

In mere seconds, her foot steps sounded towards the doorway to the bedroom. "Yeah?" She asked softly, frowning a bit when she noticed what he was doing. After a quick glance to the bed, she realized that he was changing the sheets.

"Where are 'our' bed sheets? You know, the red ones. I can't find them." He kept looking in the cabinet as if they would magically show up.

Lexie closed her eyes and actually prayed that she would pass out. Anything to not be reminded of that night _again_. And now she needed another lie. It's not like she could be honest about burning those sheets. "Uhm…" She started as she tried to come up with a good lie. "I… Well, I accidentally ripped a part with my finger nail so it created a small hole that got bigger and bigger. So eventually I had to throw them away." Finally, she opened her eyes, preparing herself to meet his.

"Oh." Mark said and gave up the search. "That's too bad. I really loved those sheets." He said, a bit disappointed and just grabbed another pair.

"Yeah, me too." Lexie mumbled and watched him changed the sheets.

Mark didn't hear her. He just quickly made the bed and then turned around to look at her. "Okay. All taken care of. Let's get to work." With a smile on his face, he walked over to Lexie and kissed her on the cheek before making his way out to the living room to get his stuff.

Lexie took a deep breath, trying to relax and realize that the 'crisis' was over. After a moment, she gathered herself and made her way out.

—

The day at the hospital went on pretty smoothly. Mark hadn't had time to talk to the chief yet, though. But he was planning to as soon as he saw him. He chose to not talk to Andrew before the chief since he wanted to talk to Webber first. It just seemed easier that way.

He did a few surgeries and felt this day to be as good as a typical day could be. As he was walking down the hallway, he spotted Callie and Arizona walking the opposite way towards him.

"Mark!" Arizona exclaimed happily, smiling wide at the male surgeon.

"Callie. Arizona." Mark greeted and smiled at both women. "What's going on?"

"We are heading for the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee. You should join us." Callie said with a smile.

"Yeah, I think I can spare a few minutes." Mark said with a smile and let the women lead the way to the cafeteria. He hadn't really had a chance to spend some real time with Callie and Arizona so this would be great.

"Okay, I know you've been texting Calliope. So you will have to tell me _everything_ now!" Arizona teased as she linked her arm with Mark's. "How was Africa?"

"Africa was fine." Mark replied as the reached the cafeteria. "Okay. You girl get a table, I will buy the coffee and then we are gonna talk." He announced with a smile.

"Oooh. It _was_ a great idea to bring him along." Arizona teased as she nudged Callie in the side.

"Shhh.." Callie teased with a giggle as they made their way towards a table.

Mark just chuckled to himself and shook his head before standing in the line. It didn't take him long to get to the cashier and order their coffees. Both Callie and Arizona wanted lattes and he always ordered his regular cappuccino. He paid the cashier and offered her a warm smile before making his way to the table Arizona and Callie chose.

"Here you go, ladies." He said proudly as he put the coffees down on the table.

"Oh, thank you, Mark." Arizona said warmly and smiled at him.

"You're the best." Callie told him happily.

"Aww, stop it." Mark teased and sat down by the table. "So. What's new with you two?"

"Uhm… Not much." Callie said and actually thought about something new.

"It's like it's always been, I suppose." Arizona added and smiled at her girlfriend.

"Great, that's great." Mark said sincerely and took a sip of his coffee.

"So how are things with you and Lexie?" Arizona asked as she took a sip.

"Things are good." Mark said with a smile.

Callie cleared her throat and looked down. She hated this. She hated to be the friend who was sitting on a lot of information. "Really? Things are good?" She asked honestly. "Then I guess you have been talking a lot?" She asked, hoping to get some information out of her friend. She was hoping that Lexie had told him.

"Well, we've been home together for a week. Of course we've been talking." Mark said with a chuckle.

"Oh, yeah? About what?" Arizona asked, getting excited. "Babies? Marriage? Oh, please tell me you've set a date for the wedding!"

Mark just laughed at Arizona's excitement. "No, no baby talk. And actually no marriage talk either…" He trailed off and for the first time realized that they hadn't talked about the wedding at all since he got home, which was weird.

"Then what have you been talking about?" Callie asked, pulling Mark out of his thoughts.

"Not much, actually. Just what she's been up too while I was gone." He told the women.

Callie was torned. Obviously, Lexie still hadn't told him what happened with Wilson. And Callie still thought that Mark had a right to know. But she didn't want to be the one to tell him. But on the other hand, he had a right to know, and if Lexie wouldn't tell him, maybe Callie should.

"Hey, Mark-" Callie started but was interrupted by his pager.

"Hang on." Mark said and checked the pager. Hunt wanted him in the ER as soon as possible. "Sorry, girls. I have to go." He said and gave them a sad look before getting to his feet and grabbing his coffee. "What did you say, Cal?" He asked.

Callie opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. This was not the time or place. "Uhm… Nothing. It can wait." She said and offered him a small smile. "Go, save lives." She added and waved him away.

Mark just smiled. "Okay. I'll see you later." He said and then left for the ER.

"Bye." Arizona called after him and then turned to her girlfriend. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Callie asked and pretended that she didn't know what her girlfriend was talking about.

"It sounded like you had something really important to tell him. You had that look on your face." She said.

Callie just shook her head. When she promised Lexie that she wouldn't tell anyone, she meant _anyone_. So that meant that Arizona couldn't know either. "No, nothing. I just wanted to ask him out for drinks some night. But it would require some planning so I'm just gonna ask him later." She lied and smiled.

Arizona eyed her for a moment before nodding. "Okay." She said and took a sip of her coffee. "But if there is something someone need to know, that someone should know." She added, getting the feeling that Callie was keeping something from someone.

Callie looked at her girlfriend and thought about her statement. She was right. But it wasn't Callie's place to tell him. However, she could make one final attempt with Lexie. With a nod, she got to her feet. "You're right. I have to go." She said and kissed Arizona on the cheek before leaving.

—

"Hey!" Meredith greeted with a big smile as she sat down opposite Lexie. "How's your day?"

Lexie slowly chewed her Mac n' cheese as her sister sat down. She forced a smile out. "Hey. It's pretty good." She said and looked down at her food. "How's your day going?"

"Oh, it's great. I just worked with Derek on a brain tumor the size of a golf ball." Meredith said with an excited tone. She took a bite of her salad and leaned back in her seat. "Hey, we should have a 'sister evening' some time." Mer suggested.

"Yeah, sure. That sounds good." Lexie said and kept her eyes on her food. She didn't sound as excited and she seemed to be in her own world.

"What's going on, Lex?" Mer asked concerned.

"Nothing." Lexie replied shortly and forced another bite into her mouth. She didn't have an appetite.

"It doesn't look like nothing." Meredith said sadly. "Did you and Mark have a fight?"

"No." The mention of Mark was enough for her to completely lose her appetite and push her plate away.

"Okay." Meredith said and decided to let it go. She assumed that Lexie would talk when she felt ready.

Silence fell between the sisters for a moment. Lexie avoided eye contact while Meredith kept eyeing her sister.

Lexie desperately wanted to tell her sister what was wrong. But she couldn't. She didn't trust anyone, and she was scared every day that Callie would tell Mark. If she did, Lexie would probably pack her stuff and leave because Mark would be furious. She sighed heavily and made the mistake of looking up. Over Meredith's shoulder, she spotted Wilson buying some lunch.

"I have to go." She said and quickly got to her feet before grabbing her tray.

"Okay." Meredith said in a sad tone. She just wanted to spend some time with her sister. "Bye."

Lexie quickly got rid of her tray and made her way out of the cafeteria. The nausea hit her like a wave and the breakfast from this morning threatened to come up. She walked down the hallway a bit and then just leaned against the wall to catch her breath. This was a nightmare and she wasn't sure she could handle it for much longer. But she had to, for Mark's sake.

"Lexie!" Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Callie Torres call her name and approach her. "I need to talk to you."

"Not now, Callie." Lexie said and massaged her temples.

"Yes, now." Callie pressed. Her eyes were soft when she touched Lexie's arm, showing her that she came in peace.

"What do you want?" Lexie asked, not acknowledging the hand on her arm.

"Mark has a right to know what happened and I think he's starting to get suspicious." Her tone got more serious now.

Lexie looked up at the older ortho surgeon and frowned. "Has he said anything?"

Callie shook her head. "No. But I think he's gonna ask questions soon. I get the feeling that he senses that something's up with you."

Lexie didn't know what to say. She couldn't tell him, he wouldn't believe her. And when it was out, everyone would know.

Callie sighed heavily and suddenly turned more serious, almost angry. "Listen. I don't wanna be the one to tell him. But he has a right to know and I don't want to see my best friend get hurt. So I'm giving you one last chance. If you haven't told him by tomorrow, I will."

Lexie glared at the Latina for a moment. She was right. It couldn't go on like this. Mark had a right to know and it should come from Lexie, not someone else. "Okay." She finally said and nodded. "I'll tell him. Tonight."

Callie nodded. "Good." She said and offered her a small smile. "I'll see you later." She added and then walked away.

Lexie sighed and leaned against the wall again. After a moment, she felt more calm and decided to push the feelings away for the time being and go make herself useful. She would need some supplies for her next patient, so she fixed her hair and then made her way towards the supply closets.

What she didn't know, was that someone was following her.

When she got to the closet, she closed the door slightly behind her and felt relieved that she was alone. While searching for what she needed, she was so deep in her own thoughts that she didn't hear someone enter the closet and quietly closing the door. It was first when this someone put his hands on her hips from behind and pushed her against the shelf that she reacted. She was about to scream in surprise, but his hand quickly covered her mouth to silence her.

"Shhhh". Wilson whispered in her ear.

Lexie froze. Really froze. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't scream, and not because his hand was in the way, she wouldn't have been able to scream anyway. And right now, she couldn't move either. She was trapped.

"So you're just leaving whenever you see me now? That's not very nice." He said in a husky voice and ran his free hand up and down her side, admiring every inch of her perfect body. "God, you're beautiful, Lex. I can't believe you had me wait for you to finish talking to Torres before I could see you." He leaned closer to her and breathed in her scent. "I'm gonna remove my hand now, and you're _not_ going to make a sound. Okay?"

Lexie could only nod. She just wanted him off of her and get out of this closet as soon as possible.

"Good." He said and slowly removed his hand from her mouth. When she didn't make a sound, he smiled to himself. "Good girl."

"What do you want?" Lexie asked harshly, finally finding her voice.

"I just wanted to see you, Little Grey." He said as if it was obvious.

The use of her nickname made her blood boil. Only Mark was allowed to call her 'Little Grey', no one else.

Outside the closet, Mark Sloan was walking down the hallway. His patient in the ER died on the table so now he was on his way towards the OR wing. He came to a halt when he briefly heard Lexie's voice coming from the supply closet.

 _"Leave me alone."_ She said, almost sounding like she was begging him.

 _"I can't leave you alone, Lexie."_ A male voice said, which sounded like Wilson. His words made Mark frown and lean closer to the door to hear them more clearly.

 _"Mark can walk in any second."_ Lexie said and seemed to get worried. She obviously didn't want him to find out about whatever it was they were talking about.

 _"No one is gonna come in here."_ Wilson assured her.

 _"I don't want to see you. Just leave me alone."_ Lexie said and sounded desperate. What the hell was going on?

 _"Well, that was kinda harsh."_ Wilson said again and sounded fake offended. As if he was mocking her or something. _"We had such a nice time last time. Remember that, Lex?"_

Mark's eyes widened when he heard what Wilson said. Last time? Suddenly everything made sense. Lexie's odd behavior was suddenly clear as a day and now he understood. He understood why the wedding hadn't been brought up and why she didn't seem to want Wilson to work with them. It felt like everything hit him like a punch in the face, and he felt so betrayed. Lexie had been cheating on him. A part of him wanted to enter the supply closet and just beat the living crap out of Wilson, but he couldn't. He was way too furious. So he did the wise thing, he turned around and walked away.

"You raped me." Lexie muttered, the anger rising inside of her along with the fear.

"Oh. Is that what we're calling it now?" Wilson asked harshly. "You wanted it." He added, suddenly being more forceful.

"No, I didn't!" Lexie argued, raising her voice. She was starting to lose her patience.

Wilson pushed her harder against the shelf and pressed himself against her back. Lexie knew what was about to happen. Again.

Just when Wilson was about to make a move, the door to the closet opened, making him almost jump away from Lexie. Lexie turned around and spotted a nurse enter the closet. She sighed in relief and fixed her lab coat and pretended like nothing happened.

The nurse eyed them suspiciously before getting what she needed. Lexie took the opportunity to move past Wilson and get out of the closet. When she practically ran down the hallway, she was shaking like a scared rabbit and she was so nauseous she thought she was gonna pass out. All she wanted now was Mark's arms around her. In that moment she had made up her mind. It was time to tell Mark the truth. Now.

—

Mark furiously knocked on Callie's door. He didn't think he had ever been this pissed off before. He couldn't believe that Lexie had been cheating on him. And with Wilson of all people. Thinking about it made him more mad, which made him knock on Callie's door even harder.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Callie called from inside her apartment and opened the door. She raised her eyebrows when she saw Mark and noticed his facial expression. "Mark?"

Mark didn't say anything. He just walked past her into the apartment and headed for the kitchen. "Is Robbins home?" He asked in a furious tone, as if it was Arizona he was mad at.

"Uhm… No, she's on call tonight." Callie said and closed the door before following him.

"Good. Do you have any alcohol?" He asked in the same furious tone. He really needed a drink.

"There's some scotch in the cabinet. Do you wanna tell me what's going on?" Callie asked and grabbed two glasses.

Without answering his best friend, Mark made his way over to the cabinet where Callie and Arizona kept the alcohol and grabbed the bottle of scotch. Turning back to Callie, he took the glasses out of her hands and filled both of them. Without a word, he put the bottle down and took his glass, downing the content in one gulp. The alcohol burned in his throat as he swallowed, but the heartbreak after Lexie's betrayal hurt so much more. He made a sound and then filled his glass again.

Callie frowned at her best friend's actions. "Mark, let's sit down on the couch and you can tell me what's going on." She said and gently grabbed his arm to lead him to the center of the apartment. She had a feeling she knew what was going on. Mark obeyed and followed without a word, the alcohol seemed to calm him down a bit.

When they both sat down, Mark leaned back and closed his eyes in exhaustion. Callie put her glass down on the table and glared at him. "Talk." She ordered.

With a heavy sigh, Mark opened his eyes and glared back at his best friend. "I think you wanted to tell me something today." He started, almost sounding accusing.

Callie frowned, putting on a face and pretending that she didn't know what he was talking about. Or at least she hoped she truly didn't know. "What?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Callie." He barked at her. Sitting up more straight on the couch, he stared into Callie's eyes. "I'm gonna ask you a question and you are going to answer it truthfully." When she didn't give a verbal response, he swallowed hard before breaking the question he dared to ask.

"Is there something going on between Lexie and Wilson?"

* * *

 **Oh, oh! Will Callie tell him the truth or will she lie? What do you think?  
And before you start sending me death threats, I know that ****I'm dragging things out and that Lexie should have told him as soon as he got home, but just be patient. Stay tuned for the next chapter! Everything will be revealed, I promise.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Finally! The chapter we've all been waiting for is finally up! Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter! You guys are the best and I love you so much!  
** **Okay, so I don't think I have to say anything else. You know reviews make my day!  
** **Enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Lexie Grey was pacing in the living room. So many thoughts and emotions were running through her mind and she didn't know what to do anymore. Everything was a mess in her head and it felt like the room was spinning. And the heavy breathing wasn't helping.

As soon as she was free from Wilson, she went to her locker, got her things and got the hell out of the hospital. She briefly asked a nurse if she had seen Mark, but the answer was no. So with the assumption that Mark was still working, she made her way home. The thought crossed her mind that maybe she should page him, or call him, and ask if he would be home soon. But she didn't want that. She didn't want to know when he was gonna be home. The pressure would be too big for her. So the best option was to just go through in her head what she was gonna say to him, and then wait for him to arrive. But God, did she want it to be soon!

How the hell could she let it get this far? The right thing would have been to just tell Mark the truth as soon as he got home from Africa. Now this thing had been dragged out too long. There was no chance that Mark would believe that Wilson raped her. She was 110% certain that she would end up on the street by the end of this evening. No way in hell that he would forgive her for this.

Her thoughts and pacing were interrupted when she heard the front door open. She came to a halt and turned around just in time to see Mark enter their apartment and close the door behind him. His expression was pretty blank but she could sense some kind of anger. Suddenly it felt like the world just stopped, along with her heart beat and breathing. Everything was going in slow motion and she just wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

A big, nasty lump was forming in her throat. After a failed attempt to swallow it, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth to form words. "Mark."

"Lexie." He greeted dryly, showing no emotions whatsoever.

"I…" She started but didn't really know what to say. "I- I left the hospital and asked were you were but no one knew where you were so I just went home." She wasn't even sure what words her mouth was forming right now. Her mind was racing along with her heart.

"Yeah. I've been at Callie's." Mark explained and headed for the kitchen. Specifically, the cabinet where they kept the alcohol.

The mention of Callie made Lexie freeze in her spot. The ortho surgeon had promised that she wouldn't say a word to him until tomorrow. Sure, Callie was his best friend, but would she really break a promise to Lexie just because of her friendship with Mark? Lexie shook her head lightly to come back to reality before speaking again. "Oh." She said and decided to pretend like nothing. For all she knew, Callie hadn't said a word. "Did you have a nice time?"

"Wonderful." Mark replied shortly as he filled a glass of scotch and took a sip right away.

"Good." Lexie said and ignored Mark's tone of voice. "Listen… Uhm, we need to talk."

"Yeah." Mark replied quickly and finally turned around to face her. Now his expression had changed to a more angry shade. With his glass in hand, he took a few steps forward. But still keeping his distance from his fiancé. "I believe we do."

"You talked to Callie." Lexie said, more a statement than a question.

"I did." He agreed, not a change in his expression whatsoever.

"And what did she tell you?" Lexie asked and tried to be as casual as possible, even though she knew it was useless.

"She didn't tell me _anything_." Mark stated. Lexie could sense that he was getting angrier by the second. "All she said was that I _really_ should talk to _you_! So here I am, talking to you! And I swear to God, Lexie, if you lie to me right now I'll-" What would he do? Hit her? Throw her out on the sidewalk? With a heavy sigh, he forced himself to soften a bit and looked down at the floor.

Lexie didn't even flinch at his little outburst. She saw this coming, she was prepared. The imagination of him throwing stuff around the apartment, slamming doors and eventually kick her out had played itself in her head so many times already. Although, she was thankful that Callie hadn't seemed to say anything.

Mark sighed again and rubbed the bridge of his nose. It felt like the room was spinning, and not because of the alcohol. "Okay, so I'm gonna ask you a question. And I want you to answer it truthfully." It wasn't a suggestion or a bargain. It was a demand. A well deserved demand.

She nodded her head. Somehow it actually felt easier if he asked the questions and she just answered them. "Yeah. Okay." She agreed.

Another heavy sigh left Mark as he looked up at his girlfriend. Those chocolate hues made his heart stop. And now he could see the hurt and devastation in them, which made his heart break. He inhaled some much needed oxygen and opened his mouth, preparing his muscles to form the question he feared the answer to. "Did you have sex with Wilson?"

Even though Lexie was prepared for that question, it almost knocked the breath out of her. Closing her eyes, she exhaled loudly and made her way over to the couch. She would have to sit down for this conversation. When her back turned towards Mark, she could feel his eyes almost burning holes in the back of her skull. Once she was sitting down, she took a really deep breath, exhaled again and decided to be 100% honest. He deserved the whole truth. "Yes." She said and weighed her options. "Yes. Technically, we did have sex."

"Oh my God." Mark sighed and ran a hand over his face. He had never imagined that a 'yes' would hurt that much. It felt like a kick in the gut.

"But I didn't want to." Lexie added and felt her voice break at the end. She cleared her throat and once again tried to swallow the lump but failed miserably.

Mark removed the hand from his face and looked at his girlfriend on the couch. A frown formed on his features and he tried to figure out what she meant. "What do you mean you didn't want to?" Of course he knew what it meant, but the way Lexie put it didn't make sense to him.

"I mean that he forced me to do it. That he threatened me." She explained more clearly and kept her face turned away from Mark. She couldn't even look at him right now.

It took him a moment, but soon he started to realize what she meant. Leaving his glass on the kitchen island, he made his way over to the couch and slowly sat down beside her, as if he was expecting her to flee like a scared animal as soon as he got close. He made sure to keep his respectful distance, though. "Lexie, what are you trying to tell me?"

"I would never cheat on you, Mark!" Lexie blurted out and suddenly started to sound desperate. Here was the part she had been waiting for. The part where he believed she slept with the scumbag and she tried to convince him otherwise. "You have to believe that. I would _never_ cheat on you."

All of this was happening so fast and he didn't know what to think anymore. After blinking a few times, it felt like he was seeing more clearly. He could se the true fear and devastation coming from Lexie and suddenly, he understood. "He raped you?" Mark asked and couldn't help but sound harsh, almost as if he was accusing her. He noticed how Lexie almost caught her breath in her throat at the question. It was clearly a sensitive spot, and that was all the confirmation he needed. "He raped you." He repeated, this time a statement instead of a question. "That son of a bitch." He could practically feel the blood boil in his veins and his anger completely changed direction. Without even thinking about it, he moved closer to her on the couch. "He raped you." He repeated again and felt the realization hit him. Everything made sense now. With a heavy sigh, he softened a bit and rested his elbows on his knees as he rested his head in his hands. "Oh my God… That's why! That's why you didn't want to have sex with me. "That's- That's why you didn't want Wilson to work with us."

Lexie still couldn't even look at him. This was all too hard. "Yeah." She whispered, she didn't trust her voice at this point.

"What about the sheets?" He asked, sensing that there was more to that story.

She took a ragged breath and fought the tears. "I couldn't keep them, Mark. Not after what happened. I… I couldn't look at them. So I burned them." She had hoped that confessing these things would make her feel better. It didn't.

A heavy sigh left Mark and now it finally felt like he had landed. He understood everything now and the only thing left was to get her to tell him everything. "Same with the sweater I assume."

"Yeah." Lexie choked out and wiped a tear that escaped. She gathered the courage to finally lift her eyes and look at him on the couch. When he still kept his head in his hands and avoided eye contact with her, she figured they were done. She found herself twisting her engagement ring and pulling it up and down her finger lightly, as if she couldn't decide on whether to keep it on or not. "Well I… I assume you want this back." She said and finally took the ring off and placed it on the coffee table in front of them, causing Mark to look up at her. "Give me 10 minutes to pack and then I'll be out of here." She added and got to her feet.

"What? No!" Mark said firmly and grabbed her arm, pulling her back down on the couch. "You're not leaving, Lexie. And put this back on." He told her and took the ring, grabbed her hand and put it back onto her third finger.

Lexie hadn't expected this at all. She had expected him to help her pack just to make it go faster and then kick her out of his apartment. A wave of relief washed over her. Apparently, he wouldn't kick her out. While still holding his hands, she looked into his ocean blue eyes and swallowed before speaking again. "So… You don't hate me?"

"No." Mark replied with a dead serious look in his eyes. "No. I hate the son of a bitch who raped you." He explained with the same look in his eyes. "And I'm gonna kill him."

Lexie's eyes widened at his words and she didn't have time to reply before he let go of her hands, got to his feet and headed for the front door. He was serious about that. "What? No, Mark, wait!" She called and quickly got to her feet and ran after him. She passed him by the front door and made a turn so she was now standing between him and the door, blocking his way out.

"Let me out, Lexie." Mark demanded in a monotone voice.

"No! You can't go out and kill him! Are you crazy!?" She was a bit freaked out and realized she had never seen Mark this angry before.

"Lexie, the man raped you!" He was raising his voice to an almost yelling level. "I cant't just turn my back on that and ignore it!"

"Of course you can't! And you shouldn't! But you can't just go over to his apartment and, what? Beat him up. Because that's exactly what he wants and if you do that, you're gonna end up in jail." Lexie could once again feel her eyes fill with tears and she didn't even care when the tears started streaming down her face. "I can't have you in jail, Mark. Best case scenario, you beat him up and he doesn't tell the cops. Worst case scenario, you go to prison for murder. I need you here, Mark. Please, please, please. I'm begging you. Don't do this, please don't leave me."

Mark looked deeply into her chocolate brown eyes and felt himself soften a little bit. The anger still lingered there, no doubt. But his desire to see the scumbag dead slowly faded. Lexie was right, physically hurt Wilson wouldn't do any good. "Okay." He agreed and nodded. He watched Lexie mirror his nodding and sighed. However, he wasn't done with her yet. He still had a million questions. "Come here." He said and gently took her hand in his and led her back to the couch. "Sit down." He ordered and sat down beside her and kept her hand in his. "I need to know _everything_ , Lexie. Tell me what happened."

Lexie didn't even know where to start. Her head was a mess right now and everything was spinning. She took a ragged breath and then began to speak. "It was when you hadn't called me for three days. I was worried about you and convinced that you were dead." She couldn't look at him anymore, so she looked down at her knees before continuing. "So I went to Joe's to get a few drinks. He joined me and we had a few drinks together. He was nice enough to drive me home and follow me upstairs… When we came in here he… He kissed me." Here was the hard part. Lexie could feel her body and voice shake. Here was the part where Mark might change his mind and leave her anyway. "And… I was drunk. And confused and I missed you so…"

"You kissed him back." Mark finished for her when she stopped mid sentence. His voice was monotone and emotionless. He understood.

"Yeah." Lexie whispered and put her head in her hands. She felt so guilty and disgusting and she was convinced that if she hadn't kissed him back, he wouldn't have raped her. "But it was like 3 seconds until I realized what I was doing. So I broke the kiss and told him no. But… It didn't work, he wouldn't listen. So he… He just kept going." A heavy sigh left her as the tears started streaming down her face again. "I tried to stop him. I tried to tell him no." She added through her tears.

"Son of a bitch." Mark muttered. He couldn't believe that a man he considered a friend would do this to the woman Mark loved. To _any_ woman. "And what happened after?"

"After he…?" Lexie couldn't even form the word, and she was still convinced that it didn't count as rape.

"Yeah, after he raped you." Mark pressed. The word made him sick.

A heavy sigh left Lexie and she gently massaged her temples. "He threatened me. He said that if I told anyone, you would have to pay for the consequences." She explained and felt her heart skip a beat at the thought. What if Wilson would really hurt Mark now? "I figured it was best to not call the police and press charges so… So I just kept my mouth shut."

Mark just shook his head in disbelief. "You let him do that to you? God, Lexie you-" He broke off mid sentence and put his head in his hands. Now _he_ started to feel guilty. "You should have come to me. You should have told me, came to me and say that you were in trouble and needed help. I just- The fact that you didn't think I would believe you is just- God… I never should have left."

Lexie sensed what was gonna come out of his mouth next. Looking up at him, she shook her head and stopped him before he could continue. "No. You do _not_ get to do this, Mark. You don't get to take the blame for this. This wasn't your fault."

"Oh yeah?" Mark asked and looked up at her. He did feel guilty, but now he was curious to whom _she_ believed was at fault for this. "Then whose fault was it?"

Lexie was a bit taken aback by that question. But she had an answer anyway. "Well… It would be my fault." She said as if it was the most obvious thing.

"Really?" Mark asked harshly. "Explain that to me. Explain to me how him raping you is your fault!"

"Well-" Lexie knew how it was her fault but she didn't know how to put it. "Well, because I kissed him back. I led him to think that I wanted to have sex with him."

Mark frowned and almost looked a bit disgusted. "Do you hear yourself?" He asked harshly. "Rape is rape, it's never the woman's fault." It pissed him off that he had to explain that to her. "You have a photographic memory. Haven't you read like hundreds of books and articles about this?"

"Well, yeah. But in this case-"

"No!" He was almost yelling at her. "Uh uh, not in this case. You were raped, nothing about that is your fault. It's one thing that you kissed him back, but when you said no, he should have backed off."

Lexie listened to him closely and got a whole new look at things. For the first time, she actually believed that this wasn't her fault. But that didn't stop her guilt. She wiped her tears and looked down at the floor again. "I'm sorry, Mark."

"I don't wanna hear it." He replied harshly and got to his feet. He took a few steps away from the couch and ran a hand over his face. "You don't have to apologize."

"Yeah, I do." Lexie replied and followed him to where he was standing. When he didn't turn around to face her, she gently put her hand on his back. "I'm the one who lied to you and kept things from you-"

"I don't care, Lexie." Mark said and raised his voice.

When he raised his voice, she subconsciously took a step back. All she wanted was for him to accept her apology, but if he didn't want them, she wouldn't push it. "Okay." She whispered and looked down.

Mark sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face before turning back to her. "You said that you didn't tell anyone. How did Callie find out?"

"Uhm… Well she… She heard. She heard him… Grunting and moaning and then she saw him leave the apartment." Lexie explained and moved a strand of hair behind her ear. "At first she assumed that I… Slept with him. But then she realized that… Well, that I didn't."

Mark just nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. Of course, he believed her every word. He knew that she would never lie about this. "What about work? You have been working with him after this happened. Has he bothered you at work?"

"No." Lexie said and shook her head. "No, not until… Today." She looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Today?" Mark asked and soon remembered. "In the supply closet?"

The question made Lexie look up at him again. How did he know about that? "Yeah." She confirmed.

"I… I was standing right outside, listening to you two talking." Mark explained and suddenly felt like he might as well have punched her in the face. "I heard him mention what a great time you had 'last time' and I thought-" He stopped mid sentence and ran a hand over his face.

"You thought that we had slept together…" Lexie finished for him and nodded in understanding.

"I left the hallway right after that. I couldn't bare to listen to it." He said and looked down. "Did he…?"

"No." Lexie replied quickly. "But he… He was about to. A nurse walked in by accident and interrupted. I left as quickly as I could."

"Oh God…" Mark muttered. "I could have stopped it. I could have walked in and stopped him. I _should_ have walked in. God, I'm so sorry, Lex."

Lexie just shook her head. "No." She said and grabbed his hand. She led him back to the couch and made him sit down, like he had done a moment ago. "You didn't know. I would have thought the same thing if I heard you talking to a woman about 'last time'. And _I'm_ the one who should have told you from the beginning. If I had, that wouldn't have happened-"

"Okay, enough with you blaming yourself." Mark told her and put his head in his hands.

"Only if you stop blaming yourself as well." Lexie replied and looked down. This wasn't getting them anywhere.

Mark just shook his head and avoided eye contact. He massaged his temples gently. "God, my head hurts because there's so many things running through my head right now."

"I can't even imagine." Lexie replied and tried to sound comforting. She figured that nothing would be comforting for him right now, but she could at least try. With a sigh, she fixed her hair and looked down at the floor.

Silence fell between them for a moment. The only sound that filled their ears was the traffic outside the apartment. A minute passed before Mark ran a hand over his face and looked over at Lexie. "But that's it, right? You've told me everything?"

Lexie took a moment to think about it. With a photographic memory, it wasn't hard to remember whether she had said everything or not. "Yeah." She said softly and nodded. "That's it. I've told you everything." Suddenly, a big weight was finally lifted off her shoulders and she could breathe again. As the realization hit her that she had finally told Mark _everything_ , her eyes filled with tears again.

Mark watched his fiancé and could practically see what was going on in her head right now. "You've been keeping all this inside for a long time now, haven't you." He said in a soft tone.

Lexie took a ragged breath as she nodded and rested her head in one of her hands. Squeezing her eyes shut, she felt the tears leak through her lids and didn't even bother to wipe them away as they streamed down her face. "Yeah, I guess I have." A sob escaped her and her body started to shake.

"Oh, Sweetie…" Mark said softly and moved closer to her. "Come here." He added and wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in close. Lexie responded immediately and rested her head in the crook of his neck as she just let everything out. Mark wrapped both his arms around her and made sure to keep her as close as possible in a protective way. "He's never gonna come anywhere near you again, I promise you that. You're safe now, Lexie. I won't let anything happen to you."

Lexie didn't respond. She just kept sobbing and shaking. In pure desperation, she gripped his shirt tightly. She was incredibly thankful that Mark believed her and was gonna make sure to keep her safe. He truly was her knight in shining armor. "I love you." She managed to say between a sob.

Mark sighed at her words and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, too." He whispered against her hair. He ran his hand up and down her back as he let her cry against him. These were feelings she had kept inside for way too long and it was time to let them out.

Mark Sloan and Lexie Grey stayed like that for what felt like hours but was probably just a few minutes. Eventually, the crying ceased and was replaced with sniffles instead. Lexie was sure that Mark's shirt was drained in her tears, but she knew that he wouldn't care.

When she felt like she was done crying, she let go of Mark's shirt and wiped her tears. After a moment, she moved out of his arms and sat up straight. She blinked a few times and then looked into Mark's ocean blue eyes she was so in love with. A soft sigh escaped her when Mark moved his hand up and gently caressed her cheek. For the first time that evening, Mark actually offered her a warm smile. A smile that assured her that he would stay with her. However, the words left her mouth anyway. "I wouldn't blame you if you threw all my clothes into a bag, kicked me out of this apartment and slammed the door in my face."

"Stop." Mark said softly as the smile faded. "I'm not gonna do that. I would _never_ do that. I love you, and if you are going through your worst right now, I wanna go through it with you. So just stop."

"Okay." Lexie replied weakly and sniffled again. She moved a strand of hair behind her ear and looked down at her knees.

They were interrupted when they heard someone knock on the front door. A sound that made them both almost jump and look over at the door as if it was something they were experiencing for the first time. Mark looked back to Lexie with a frown on his face. "Were you expecting someone?"

Lexie just shook her head no. As the seconds passed, she started to fear that their visitor was the man neither of them wanted to see right now.

Without answering, Mark got to his feet and walked over to the door. He silently counted to 10 in order to calm down. The thought of it being Andrew Wilson outside the door had crossed his mind, and he prayed to God that it wasn't. Just to be sure, he checked the peep hole. He sighed in relief before turning back to Lexie. "It's Callie." He told her softly.

Lexie raised her eyebrows. Her mind had settled on it being Wilson outside their apartment. She nodded her head, giving him the permission to open the door and let his friend in.

Mark nodded his head in response before he turned back to the door. He gently put his hand on the handle and opened the door, revealing his best friend behind it.

"Hey." Callie said softly. "I just wanted to check up on you guys. I haven't heard any loud yelling or slamming in doors so I take that as a good thing." She shot a quick glance towards Lexie, who had now left her place on the couch to walk up behind Mark. "Are you guys okay?"

Both Mark and Lexie nodded their heads. "Yeah." Mark verbally replied and quickly glanced back to Lexie before turning back to Callie again. "As okay as can be expected, I suppose."

Callie nodded in understanding. "Yeah. Of course, I get it." Without asking for permission, she slowly made her way inside and walked closer towards Lexie. "Hey, Lexie I… I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble. Mark asked me but I just couldn't tell him. This was something he should hear from you."

"It's fine, Callie." Lexie assured. "Everything is fine. And I appreciate that you didn't tell him. You're a good friend. To both me and Mark."

Callie nodded her head slowly and was relieved that Lexie didn't seem angry with her. The last thing she wanted was to cause any trouble. "Okay. Good." She said and then turned back to Mark. "Well, I should get going. I just wanted to check up on you and make sure you were okay."

"Thanks, Cal." Mark replied and forced a small smile out.

Callie mirrored his smile and glanced back at Lexie before walking out the same way she came from. After Mark closed the door behind his best friend, he let out a heavy sigh and leaned against the door and closed his eyes.

Lexie glanced over to the clock on the wall and realized it was getting pretty late. "It… It's almost bed time. You wanna go to bed?"

"No." Mark said and shook his head. "I'm not sleeping in that bed now that I know what happened in it."

She was a bit taken aback by his statement, but she understood. "Okay." She agreed and glanced around. "Well… Uhm, I could make the couch for you and I'll sleep in the bed."

This made Mark open his eyes again. "Why don't you sleep next to me on the couch." He suggested softly.

Lexie looked back at him with a surprised expression. "You would want that?"

"Of course." Mark replied and walked over to her. "I don't want you to sleep alone tonight, Lex."

"Okay." Lexie agreed and nodded.

"Come here." Mark said and gently grabbed her hand before leading her to the couch. He laid down on his back and pulled her down with him. She placed herself comfortably on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Mark, we haven't made the couch yet. We will need sheets and comforters." Lexie said and actually let out a small giggle.

"Let's just lay like this for a few minutes and then we can get the sheets." He bargained as he closed his eyes.

"Okay." She agreed and closed her eyes as well. A smile formed on her face when she felt Mark's lips against the top of her head. She snuggled up closer against him and soon felt a blanket being wrapped around her.

"I love you, Little Grey." Mark said softly. "It's important that you know that."

She felt butterflies in her stomach when he addressed her to the nickname that was specially reserved for him. In that moment, it was like he erased the fact that Wilson had called her 'Little Grey' earlier today. Mark had taken it back. "I know. And I love you too."

Mark pressed a soft kiss to her head once again and then leaned back on the couch.

Just a few minutes later, both Mark and Lexie were asleep on the couch in each other's arms, the sheets and comforters long forgotten.

* * *

 **So there it is! Mark finally knows the truth. But that doesn't have to mean that the drama has ended ;) Stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello everyone. Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter. It makes my day to get the notifications on my phone! :D  
** **I'm so glad that all of you are so invested in this story and you have feelings about what is happening. I love it!  
** **And I normally don't do this, but I just wanted to respond to some of the reviews I received :D**

 ** _snuggy29: I know, Mark was really pissed about what happened. But to be fair, I would too. And yeah, he really did take his anger out on Lexie, but remember that his feelings were kinda messed up and all over the place as well. But he never meant to be harsh or take his anger out on her. He means well. And your review actually inspired me to the first part of this chapter! :D Thank you!_**

 ** _Guest: I totally agree with you and I totally get what you're saying. I was debating with myself on that part actually, but I decided to make Lexie say that anyway. Only because she still was uncertain to whether it counted as rape or not, and she wanted to be completely honest with Mark. Her emotions were everywhere and her head was a mess. But once again, I agree with you. No rape victim would describe it as sex. I hope I didn't offend you :(_**

 ** _deliriousdreams: Awwww. I love it when I affect my readers to that point! I hope you're okay now, though :P_**

 **Okay, enough chit chat. On with the chapter! I hope you enjoy reading and make sure to leave a review and let me know what you think :D**

* * *

The next morning, Lexie woke up safely in Mark's arms. After blinking a few times, she started to remember where exactly she was, and why. She moved her arm up to rub her eye, and as she moved, she felt Mark move as well. A soft groan left him, once he was fully awake, he kissed the top of her head. Neither of them cared that they had accidentally fallen asleep on the couch before they had a chance to make it more comfortable.

Lexie winced a little when the morning sun suddenly made it presence known through the window. Her body was a little bit sore from the uncomfortable position on the couch and her head hurt from all the crying last night. She sighed softly and decided that Mark would have to be the one to break the silence first.

It didn't take him long to do so.

"Morning." He mumbled and planted another kiss to the top of her head.

"Morning." Lexie replied and closed her eyes again, wishing that he would keep talking so she could feel the wonderful vibration from his chest as he spoke. In between, she focused on his heartbeat.

"Did you sleep okay?" His voice was gentle, showing no anger whatsoever.

"I did, actually." Lexie opened her eyes and thought about it for a moment. This was the first night she actually fell asleep within minutes after closing her eyes and actually slept all night. Since Mark got home, she started sleeping all nights, but the anxiety was to strong for her to get her to fall asleep.

"Good." His voice was still soft and gentle. And it made Lexie calm.

"You?" It was first now she realized that he must have been sleeping in the most uncomfortable position possible. And he wasn't 20 anymore.

"I did." He replied in an assuring tone.

"Good. So how are you feeling today?" Neither of them had made eye contact with the other yet. Deep down, Lexie was still worried that Mark was furious - with her. And she didn't want to look up at him only to be greeted with serial killer eyes.

Her question reminded him of last night, and all of a sudden, the feelings he had buried during the night came back to the surface. None of his anger was meant for her, of course. But now when he saw things clearer, he realized that he might have taken his anger out on her a bit too much. Which was _not_ intentional, of course. "I'm feeling alright." He replied and made sure to keep his tone as gentle as before. "I'm still really angry, though." Saying the words made the anger come back to the surface more quickly and now he felt like punching something, preferably Wilson.

"I understand." Her reply was barely above a whisper but she knew it was loud enough for him to hear. If he was still angry at her, she would understand.

Mark snapped out of his thoughts and realized what Lexie believed. And she was so wrong. "Hey." He moved a bit so he was able to sit up more and lean against the arm rest, pulling her up with him and make her look at him. "Listen to me, I'm not angry with you. I've never been angry with you. I know it may have looked like that last night, I took my anger out on you, but I didn't mean to. I was furious with the situation, and Wilson. But never you."

Lexie nodded her head slowly. "Okay." Deep down, she knew he hadn't been angry at her, but when he was raising his voice and not listening to her apologies, she started to doubt it.

"I'm sorry." His ocean blue eyes became as soft as ever, a large contrast to what they looked like last night. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Her mouth opened to immediately tell him that he was forgiven, but a thought interrupted her. A plan, so to speak. "I'll forgive you. On one condition."

Her response made him frown. Who made a deal out of apologies? Lucky for her, his curiosity got the better of him. "I'm listening."

"I'll forgive you for taking your anger out on me, which I by the way don't agree that you did, but I'll do it if you forgive me for lying to you and keeping secrets from you." She felt proud of herself when she managed to keep her voice firm.

A heavy sigh left his lips and he looked down. He was so sick of her apologies, not because he wouldn't forgive her, but because he didn't think they were necessary. Lexie had done nothing wrong. Not even when she chose to lie to him and not tell him. She just shouldn't be apologizing.

"Mark." Lexie pressed, causing him to look up at her.

"Fine." If it would make her feel better about herself, he would do it. He would accept her unnecessary apologies and forgive her. "I forgive you for lying to me and for keeping secrets from me." As he said those words, he looked into her eyes and used a tone that showed her that he really meant it.

"Thank you." She replied and offered him a smile. To be forgiven was all she wanted right now. Another heavy weight was lifted off her.

"So you forgive me, too?" His hand moved up to caress her cheek as he spoke. It was like a reflex to her smile.

"I do." She nodded and kept the smile on her face.

"Thanks." He mirrored her smile and kept caressing her cheek. He felt so much better now and he made a silent promise to never take his anger out on her like that again.

Silence fell between them for a moment, both savored the feeling of being close to each other. A minute passed before Lexie broke the silence.

"I have to take a shower." She said and moved off of Mark and got to her feet. She was nice enough to remove the blanket from her shoulders and hand it to Mark.

"You do that. I'll make coffee and some toast. And I have to make a phone call as well." He replied with a smile as he stayed in his spot on the couch.

"Great." She mirrored his smile and soon made her way towards the bathroom.

Mark watched her leave and stayed like that for a minute before he decided to make himself useful. They had a little less than an hour to get ready for work. But he'd rather stay home.

—

"Where are we going?" Lexie asked with curiosity as she walked hand in hand with Mark down the hallway.

"You'll see." Mark replied in a stern tone, focused on his mission.

The tone of his voice made Lexie nervous. A lot of scenarios were playing out in her head. "Mark, you said that you-"

"Torres!" Mark interrupted Lexie when he spotted the Latina by the nurses station. His steps became quicker when he finally found his goal.

Callie looked up from her chart at the sound of her name. The look on her friend's face made her frown. "Mark. What's going on?"

When Mark finally approached Callie, he practically shoved Lexie towards her. "Dr. Grey here is assigned to your service today. I expect you to take good care of her and keep her safe. I trust you on this, Torres. Don't let her out of your sight." His voice was firm as he spoke.

Lexie just looked at her boyfriend with a questionable look. At first, she was annoyed that he treated her like a child. But eventually, she realized why he acted this way. He wanted to keep her safe, and with Wilson still in the hospital, he needed someone he trusted.

Callie just nodded at his orders, understanding completely. Since Callie was an attending, she was Lexie's boss, meaning that she could make her do almost whatever she wanted. "Got it, Dr. Sloan." Callie replied and nodded.

"Good." Mark said and looked down at Lexie. His eyes turned more soft as he touched her cheek. "I'll see you later. Page me if there's any problem, okay?" He received a nod from Lexie and with a smile on his face, he leaned down to kiss her goodbye. The kiss was quick but loving. When he pulled back, he looked up at Callie and pointed a warning finger at her. "And if you need a plastics consult, you page _me._ No-one else, got it?"

"Got it." Callie confirmed and nodded.

With that, Mark shot a quick glance at Lexie before he turned around and walked towards the ER.

—

"What do we got?" Mark asked as he jogged down towards the ER, noticing Bailey by one of the curtains, treating a patient.

"Oh, sorry I had to drag you down here, Dr. Sloan… Dr. Wilson already took care of it." Bailey said apologetically.

Mark sighed heavily and felt the annoyance rise inside him. Not only was he called into the ER for nothing, but the man who raped the love of his life treated the patient before him. However, as he ran a hand over his face, Owen Hunt came running.

"Sloan, get a gown and come with me! Assault victim in 5 minutes!" The trauma surgeon called as he ran towards the ambulance bay.

Without a second thought, Mark started running after Hunt, preparing himself for the trauma and forcing the thoughts of Lexie away from his mind. There was no time to think about her now, he knew she was safe with Callie.

When he made it outside to the ambulance bay, he stopped beside Hunt and gathered himself as he heard the sirens from the ambulance. It didn't take long for the ambulance to arrive. The doors opened and a paramedic jumped out. "28 year old female, assaulted at home. Pretty badly too. Obvious broken bones and burns." The paramedics pulled her out and Sloan and Hunt got a first look at their patient.

And the look made Mark feel sick.

Whoever did that had beaten her up really good. Bruises everywhere, and on top of it all, the patient was unconscious. God, Mark hated this.

"Okay, let's get her inside." Owen ordered and they all started wheeling the gurney into the ER.

As they were walking, Mark took the opportunity to check the woman's pupil reaction with his lamp. And the result made him frown. "Pupils are none-reactive and dilated. Page Shepherd and order a head-CT!"

"Can I help with anything?" A male doctor called. A male doctor who made Mark's blood run cold. The last doctor he wanted to see right now.

"Sure, Dr. Wilson." Owen replied before Mark had a chance to respond. "She has pretty severe burn marks and we could use an extra pair of hands."

Mark avoided eye contact all the way to the trauma room. Once they finally got there, everyone started working on the poor girl.

A minute later, Derek Shepherd made his way into the room. "Is this the assault victim?" He asked as he put on his gloves.

"Yeah. We suspect a head trauma." Hunt explained as he checked her abdomen for injuries.

"Well, we better page gyno and get the police in here." Derek told the doctors firmly. "According to the news, she was raped too."

Derek's words made Mark freeze in his spot. The woman was _raped_ too? Who would do that? Well, he could think of _one_ scumbag who would do that. But this wasn't the time or place to think about that. This poor woman on the table needed his help.

Hunt and Wilson both looked up at the Neuro surgeon and nodded. Rape victims were never easy. "Okay." Hunt said and finished his exam. "She's stable now, but we will probably have to operate on her abdomen. Get gyno in here while Shepherd examines her neurological function. Wilson and Sloan, you can work on her burns in the mean time while I go talk to the cops." Owen ordered and removed his gloves before leaving the room.

The three men worked in silence. Derek checked her neurological functions while the two plastic surgeons examined her arms and upper body. Whoever scumbag did this to her, also burned her pretty good. Mark had never had any problem with treating assault victims, but this one made him sick.

"Well, her neurological function is normal. But I still want to get a head-CT as soon as possible." Derek announced and made some notes in her chart.

"These burns are very severe, but I think I can save most of her skin. In the mean time, it's not much left to do." Mark said.

"Shouldn't someone stay with her in case she wakes up?" Wilson asked Derek. "I mean, she's been through something horrible and if I were her, I would like to have someone here when I woke up, just to feel safe."

Derek thought about it for a moment and nodded, it was a good idea. "Good idea, Wilson."

"You should page Lexie Grey." Wilson suggested proudly, causing Mark to glare at him.

"Why Lexie?" Mark asked and had to force himself not to sound angry.

"Well, because she's really good with patients. She's someone who people feel safe with. And this woman is gonna need someone like Lexie when she wakes up." Wilson explained like it was obvious.

"Good idea." Derek said as he made his way towards the door. "I'll see if she's available."

"Hang on, Derek." Mark stopped him. "I believe Lexie is very busy today. Get someone else."

Derek frowned at his friend but decided to listen to him. "Okay, fine." He said before he left the room.

Mark and Wilson both sighed heavily and then left the room as well. There wasn't much left to do for the patient until gyno had examined her and Derek had gotten the CT. So in the mean time, all they could do was wait.

Once they were out of the room, they went over to the nurses station. Mark made some notes in the patient's chart and Wilson turned around to lean against the counter. He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed heavily. "Wow…"

"What?" Mark asked in a harsh tone, already having enough of the scumbag.

"I just don't get it." Wilson replied and shook his head in disbelief. "I don't understand how a person can treat a woman like that. Both assault and rape. It's disgusting."

Hearing Wilson refer to what he in fact did as 'disgusting' made Mark want to throw up. He couldn't believe Wilson was standing here and basically talking about himself.

"I really hope they find the guy who did this." Wilson continued, unaware of his colleague's anger towards him. "And I hope he gets what he deserves. People who do things like this don't deserve to live."

Mark didn't believe his own ears. He was now glaring at the man he once called a friend and felt the urge to punch the guy come to the surface. He was about to open his mouth and say something when Wilson interrupted him.

"Well. I have other patients. Page me when she needs us again." He said casually and walked away from the counter.

Mark was seeing red. And he couldn't let Wilson get away with this. "Wilson!" He called after him and jogged up towards him.

"Yeah, Sloan?" Wilson asked as he stopped walking and turned around, curious to what his friend wanted.

Mark didn't respond, he just grabbed Wilson by his arm and dragged him further down the hallway. After making sure no-one was watching, he pushed Wilson against the wall. "You sick bastard." He growled in a low, husky voice.

"Excuse me?" Wilson asked, having no idea what Mark meant.

"Quit the act, Wilson and don't play stupid with me. I know what happened. Lexie told me everything." If looks could kill…

"Lexie told you what? What are you talking about?"

"You raped her, you sick freak!" Mark couldn't help it when he raised his voice. He was sick of this man now.

Wilson raised his eyebrows and then started to chuckle. "Oh yeah? I raped her, did I? Is that what she told you? You ever considered the possibility that she was lying to you?"

This made Mark push Wilson harder against the wall. And he used all his force to not hit the bastard. "You son of a bitch. You disgust me. I want you out of this hospital and I want you out of Seattle. And don't you dare come back. If you do, I swear I'll kill you." His tone of voice was unrecognizable even to himself. Mark Sloan had never been this furious in his life.

After pushing Wilson against the wall one last hard time, he glared at him for a second before he turned around and started to walk down the hallway. He had promised Lexie to not hurt him, and he intended to keep that promise. For Lexie's sake.

"What's the matter Sloan?" Wilson called after him. "You afraid of a little competition?"

Mark could practically feel the shit-eating grin spread over Wilson's face as he asked this. Stopping dead in his tracks, he took a moment before he turned around again. As he walked back towards Wilson, he fisted his hand against his side. Screw his promise to Lexie.

When he was close enough, he felt the energy rush to his arm. Neither of the men had time to react before Mark's fist connected with Wilson's face, causing him to let out a groan and almost fall to the floor.

Mark's blood was boiling, and he wasn't pleased when Wilson didn't fall. He was about to take a step forward and punch him to the floor, but two strong arms wrapped around him, stopping him form hurting the scumbag even more.

"Mark! What the hell are you doing!?" Derek shouted as he pulled his friend back. Owen Hunt ran between Mark and Wilson, making sure that Wilson wouldn't go after Mark.

"Let me go, Derek!" Mark shouted as he started fighting his friend's grip. He wasn't done yet.

"Drop it, Mark! Calm down!" Derek had no idea what was going on, but he was gonna stop this fight.

"What the hell, Sloan?" Wilson asked, glaring at him as he checked his face for blood. Owen Hunt remained between the two men, keeping them from attacking each other.

"Get him out of here! Get him out of this hospital!" Mark started to calm down, but he never wanted to see the man again.

"Hey, Wilson, leave!" Owen told Wilson and pointed towards the hallway.

Wilson just shook his head in disbelief, but did as he was told anyway. "Crazy bastard." He growled before he walked down the hallway and soon disappeared behind a corner.

Once Wilson was out of sight, Mark let out a sigh of relief and pulled out of Derek's grip. He winced a little in pain and looked down at his hand. He would have to let Callie check it out later.

"What the hell, Mark!?" Derek asked furiously.

Mark didn't respond. Without a word, he turned the other way and walked straight into the nearest exam room. He was about to slam the door shut when Derek interrupted and walked in as well. Mark sighed heavily and started pacing. With a confused look, Derek closed the door and leaned against it, blocking Mark's only way out.

"Talk to me, Mark." Derek demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

Mark couldn't do this any longer, he needed to talk to someone. He couldn't be strong for Lexie and have feelings about this as well. It was getting too much. Derek was his best friend and he knew he could trust him. After taking a deep breath, Mark decided to let it all out. "He raped Lexie."

"What?"

"Wilson raped Lexie. When we were in Africa." Mark didn't know how to put it any more clear. Running a hand over his face, he stopped pacing and sat down on the exam table.

Derek was speechless. He honestly didn't know what to say. What _do_ you say in a situation like this? With a sigh, he left the door and walked over to sit down beside his friend. "Is Lexie okay?"

"As okay as can be expected, I suppose." Mark replied and looked down.

Derek only nodded. He understood his friend's pain, but it still wasn't okay to punch people like that. With another sigh, he patted Mark on the back. He was about to say something when Mark beat him to it.

"I don't understand, Derek!" Mark said, raising his voice. "I really don't understand how a man decides to rape a woman. That is as wrong as anything could be, I just- I… How the hell does a man make that decision!?"

"I don't know, Mark…" Derek tried to be comforting, but Mark kept going as if he wasn't there.

"Sure, I've been sleeping around with a lot of women. But I've always been cautious and always made sure of three things before I sleep with them. One, that they're age appropriate, over 18 or more preferably, over 21. Two, that they're sober enough to be aware of what they're doing. And three, make sure that they really _want to_!" The blood was boiling in his veins. These were feelings he had been keeping in since last night. "I'm just so pissed… This isn't supposed to happen."

Derek didn't know what to do. All he could do was be there for his friend and pat him on his shoulder. Anything to make sure that Mark knew he was there. "You know I'm always here for you. And for Lexie." When he only received a nod from Mark, he patted his back once more and got to his feet. "I'll make sure Wilson leaves. You should get that hand checked out."

"Thanks Derek." Mark replied and glanced up at him.

"Anytime." Derek said with a small smile before he headed for the door. Right before he opened it, he glanced back at Mark. "Just call me if you or Lexie need anything."

Mark offered his best friend a small smile and nodded once again. "I will. Thanks Derek."

—

"What happened to your hand?" Lexie asked as they were walking down the hallway, both dressed in their street clothes and ready to leave the hospital.

"Nothing." Mark replied dryly. All he wanted now was to get our of the hospital and spend the day with Lexie.

"It doesn't look like nothing." Lexie stated and got suspicious.

"Can we _please_ talk about this later?" He was begging now. Just thinking about his hand and Wilson made his blood boil again.

"You punched him." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. There was no way Mark could hide his feelings from Lexie. She always knew.

"Leave it, Lex." Mark groaned and ran his good hand over his face. "I wasn't going to punch him. But then he opened his stupid mouth. Can we let it go now?"

The tone in his voice was enough for Lexie to realize that he really didn't want to talk about it. Just like herself, she knew that he would talk about it when he was ready. "Okay." She said and took his good hand in hers as they walked side by side.

A little over 5 minutes later, they were finally home. Mark let in Lexie first and then closed and locked the door behind them. They were both silent as they removed their jackets. Lexie then made her way over to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She didn't quite know if she was pissed or glad that Mark had punched the scumbag.

Mark glanced over to the coffee table and noticed a piece of paper lying there. He didn't need a closer look to know what it was. With a slight smirk, he glanced over to Lexie again. "You should go into the bedroom, I have a surprise for you."

With a frown, Lexie put down the glass on the counter and made her way over to the bedroom. She had no idea what might be there. Nevertheless, she opened the door. And the sight made her gasp.

A new bed.

"Mark…"

"Thank God for same day-delivery." Mark said with a chuckle as he came up behind his fiancé, wrapping his arms around her. "That's the phone call I made this morning, and Arizona was nice enough to let the delivery guys in." He would have to send a thank you-message to Arizona later. "I couldn't stand to have that bed in our bedroom after I know what happened in it. I needed a change. I hope you're okay with it."

Lexie was still speechless. She loved the bed. The black frame matched perfectly with the white bed set. "I love it, Mark." She said and moved out of his arms to sit down on the bed. The bed was perfect and so comfy. The best gift she could ever get, the first real bed that was _theirs_.

The moment got interrupted when Mark's phone started ringing. With a sigh, he pulled his phone out of the pocket to check the caller ID. He really didn't want to be disturbed right now, but when he saw it was Derek, he changed his mind and decided to answer. "Hi, Derek, what's up? — Uhu. — Really? When? — Okay, well that's great. And you're sure? — Great! Thank you so much, Derek. — Yeah, I will. — Bye."

Lexie couldn't help but chuckle when Mark's expression suddenly changed and a smile was forming on his face. "What was that about?"

" _That_ was about Wilson." Mark said and crossed his arms over his chest in triumph. "According to Derek, rumor has it that Wilson just resigned and he's probably leaving Seattle just as we speak. He's gone."

It was as she was rubbing the sheets, admiring the bed and listened to Mark, that it all finally hit her like a punch. It was like she first now realized what _really_ had happened to her.

She had been raped. In her own home. In her own bed. Slowly, she stopped rubbing the sheets and felt her eyes fill with tears. Suddenly, it was like the time stopped and the world came crushing down around her, the feeling she had been waiting for for a long time.

 _I was raped._

"Lexie?" Mark called her name ever so softly when he noticed something was wrong. With a concerned look on his face, he made his way over to sit down beside her and placed his hand on her back. "Honey, what's wrong?"

The hand on her back made her break. Squeezing her eyes shut, the tears kept streaming down her face and she opened her mouth to try and form words. Sadly, nothing came out but sobs. But with some willpower and focus, she opened her mouth to try again. "I- I was… I was ra-raped." She managed to get out through the sobs.

A frown covered Mark's face and he started stroking her back. "I… I know, Lexie. And I'm sorry that happened to you." His voice was soft as he spoke. "But it's over now."

"He's g-gone." Lexie stuttered out as she kept crying. It all washed over her like a wave. Wilson was really gone.

"He is." Mark confirmed. "He's gone, and he's not gonna hurt you again. I promise you that."

A really loud and heartbreaking sob escaped her at his words. She was crying in relief. All the anxiety was leaving her and she had so many feelings. "Ma- Mark. I… I need- I need…"

"What, Lexie?" Mark asked and moved a bit closer to her. "Tell me what you need."

After taking a deep breath, she forced herself to calm down and look up at her fiancé. "You. I- I need you to- to ho-hold me…"

Mark Sloan didn't have to be asked twice. In less than a second, he wrapped his arms around Lexie and pulled her in close. In the same time their bodies connected, Lexie rested her head on his shoulder and gripped his shirt. For the second time, Lexie needed to let all her feelings out. And Mark sure as hell would be there to help her.

With a sigh, he kissed her head softly and moved them so they were laying down on the bed, with Lexie resting comfortably on Mark's chest. "I'll always be here, Lexie. I'm not leaving you, I promise. I'll make sure to keep you safe. You can trust me."

As Mark gently rubbed Lexie's back and hair, the only sound that filled the room was Lexie's soft sobbing. But both knew that it would cease eventually.

Time would heal her wounds.


	18. Chapter 18

**Look who's finally back with an update. I'm sorry for the delay but work and school have been crazy.  
** **Thank you all for the kind reviews! They make my day and it gets me inspired to keep writing! So thank you! And today is a special day. A year ago today, I published the first chapter of this story :D So happy 1 year anniversary!  
** **I hope you like this chapter. It's slightly longer than previous chapters, but I just couldn't make it shorter.  
** **This is once again a pretty emotional and angsty chapter, but it focuses a bit more on Mark's perspective and how he feels about what happened to Lexie. And please trust me when I say that things will get better. Mark and Lexie will get their happy ending. Pinky promise!  
** **So happy reading and don't forget to leave a review! :D**

* * *

The warm water felt so good running down Lexie's body. One thing that had always calmed her down was showers, preferably really long showers - with Mark. She tilted her head backwards to let the water run through her hair and then glanced over to the shelf where they kept their shampoo and shower gel. Mark had taken all of his stuff with him when he left, but now his shampoo was back right where it belonged. And it felt so good to see it. The way his bottles were standing right beside hers, it just made her calm. A real confirmation that he truly was back where he belonged. A soft sigh left her before she grabbed her own bottle, squeezed the shampoo out and then started washing her hair.

It was when she was rinsing out the shampoo out of her hair that the calm was interrupted. Her trance broke when she heard someone knock on the door, and reflexively, she jumped and almost yelped. Her mind started racing and her thoughts immediately went to Wilson. She didn't know why, but it just happened. She always feared that he would come back to her apartment and rape her again.

She jumped slightly when the person knocked a second time. _"Lexie?"_ The voice called from outside. The voice that belonged to Mark. She sighed in relief, but still felt uneasy.

"Yeah?" She called, still curious to what he wanted. Her mind started racing again. She still couldn't undress in front of him, not to mention even be naked in front of him. Even though she knew it was Mark, she didn't quite trust him. And that was something she would have to work on.

" _I got called in to the hospital early and I just need to brush my teeth real quick. Can I come in?"_ He sounded apologetic, and Lexie was sure that he was aware of her uncertainty.

Lexie thought about it hard. He wouldn't be able to see her in the shower unless he slid the shower doors open and stole a peek, but she still felt really insecure. However, she couldn't 'hide' from him forever. At some point, she would have to get over this and let him see her naked, and eventually have sex with him. It was the only way to get things back to normal. But why was this so hard? After a moment of thinking, she decided that she would have to let him in. "Uhm… Yeah, come in." She called out and subconsciously wrapped her arms around herself, covering her breasts.

Two seconds later, she heard the door open. A second after that, a more horrible sound appeared. The sound of the door _closing_ behind him. It made her jump and then she was like an icicle. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe. When the sound of the faucet turning on, she jumped again. Her brain switched into fight-mode but she wasn't sure why. Mark wouldn't hurt her. And he would never just jump into the shower and take her against the wall unless she wanted him to. This was a mess.

Mark quickly brushed his teeth, sensing that Lexie didn't feel comfortable like this. Since she finally told him about the rape, he had finally understood her frightened expressions and stuttering whenever he initiated sex. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized the other small things she did. Like always undressing in the bathroom and sleeping in a long sleeved shirt and long pajama pants. She didn't want to show him any skin. So he really hated himself right now when he had to interrupt her when she was the most exposed. But they were running out of time, so he promised himself that he would be quick.

A moment later, he was done. Turning the faucet back on again, he spit out the toothpaste, cleaned out the brush and put it back in it's place in the small glass on the counter. After wiping his mouth with his towel, he turned around and headed for the door. "Thanks, Lex. I'm sorry for bothering you." His voice was soft and understanding. He didn't wait for a response before left the bathroom.

Lexie let out a sigh of relief as soon as the door closed behind him again. She felt horrible. It shouldn't be like this. She can't go on with her life, being afraid of him.

—

When Lexie came out from the bathroom and walked into the kitchen, she found Mark by the counter. He quickly shot a glance towards her and then turned back to what he was doing, looking sort of embarrassed. As if she had just walked into the kitchen naked and he didn't want to look at her. The thought made her sad. She was fully dressed but she couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't find her attractive anymore.

"Got called in early?" Lexie asked casually as she approached him by the counter.

"Yeah." Mark replied without looking at her. He seemed bothered. "When do you start your shift?"

"Seven." Lexie said and walked over to the kettle with coffee. If he wouldn't look at her, she couldn't make him.

Mark only nodded in response. So many emotions and thoughts were running through his head and he didn't know where to start to sort them all out. He decided to try and push them away for the time being and solve it later.

"I'll see you later." Mark said and grabbed his coffee mug before turning towards the door. Just as he was about to put his hand on the doorknob, he felt something tug at him. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to decide what to do. With a frustrated sigh, he turned around. "Lex…"

"Yeah?" Lexie asked and looked up from her coffee mug.

Mark had an apologetic look on his face as he took a step forward. "There's something you need to know… I did a stupid thing. In all the heat of yesterday with Wilson, I… I ended up telling Derek what happened. I am so sorry, Lexie."

Her eyebrows rose. Is that what's been bothering him this morning? "Oh…" Was it so bad that he told Derek? "Uhm… I… It's fine. I was- I was actually gonna tell Meredith today anyway. I mean, she- she's my sister and I'd want to know if something happened to her so…" She needed to take a breath. After exhaling, she locked eyes with Mark. "But no one else has to find out, right? Derek isn't gonna tell anyone?"

Mark just shook his head. Of course Derek wouldn't tell anyone. Mark would have his throat if he did, and Derek knew that. "No. No one else has to know." Without thinking about it, Mark had taken another few steps forward and was now standing closer to Lexie, almost invading her personal space.

"Thank you." It was a barely audible whisper, but she knew Mark heard.

The urge to kiss her was growing inside of Mark, but something was holding him back. He didn't know what, though. Instead, he settled with just touching her cheek in a soothing manner. "I have to go." He said softly, as if she didn't know that already. "Good luck with Meredith." When he received a nod from his girlfriend, he gently moved a lock of brown hair behind her ear and turned on his heels.

Lexie looked after him and felt a lump form in her throat. Mark was behaving odd and it was messing with her head.

—

Mark arrived to the hospital about five minutes later. The tension grew inside of him as he walked down the hallway towards the locker room. Derek had assured him that Wilson had packed his stuff and left, but he wouldn't believe it until he saw his empty locker

"Mark." Derek Shepherd greeted his friend as he approached him down the hall.

"Hey, Derek." Mark replied tiredly. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. It had taken a long time for Lexie to calm down. And when she finally did, it was Mark's turn to not be able to calm down.

"You're here early." Derek noticed and gave his friend a small frown.

"Yeah. Webber called me in early." Mark explained as he kept walking, Derek being close beside him.

"Ah…" Derek said and suddenly understood. "Because of Wilson?"

"I would guess so." Mark said and suddenly felt annoyed. "So. Spill." Mark ordered and glanced over to his brother. "Are you completely sure that the bastard is gone?"

"I am." Derek had made sure of it himself. After talking to Mark yesterday, he had personally found Wilson and threatened him into leaving. But exactly how it happened was a story for another day. "His locker is empty and according to the chief, he left his resignation letter yesterday and then took off."

"Thank God." Mark sighed and took a breath before entering the locker room. First thing he checked was Wilson's locker that was placed right beside the door. It was, indeed, empty. The bastard was gone.

"Is Lexie coming in today?" Derek asked softly.

"She is. In about 50 minutes." Mark replied, feeling relieved that he could finally have Lexie around the hospital and feel calm. Silence fell between them for a moment when Mark suddenly remembered something. "She… Lexie said she'd tell Meredith today. Please tell me you haven't told her already."

"Wouldn't dream of doing that." Derek replied seriously. "That is something Lexie will have to decide for herself. But I'm glad she will tell her."

"Yeah." Mark replied and turned around to his friend. "Me too."

They were interrupted when Derek's pager started beeping. Mark sighed and prayed that his wouldn't go off as well. He had enough to do already.

"ER." Derek said and glanced up at Mark.

Mark only nodded. The word 'ER' had always been enough in their profession to get a colleague to understand. "Go. I have a lot of paperwork to do after Wilson and I better get started."

Derek felt sorry for his friend. It was never easy to take over paperwork from another colleague. But it had to be done one way or another. "Good luck. And page me if you need any help." Derek said and patted Mark's shoulder on the way out.

Mark took a deep breath as Derek left. Today would be a long and tough day.

—

Lexie Grey felt uneasy walking into the hospital. The place gave her a little bit of anxiety and she prayed that it would go away eventually. She would be safe now. Wilson was gone, and Mark knew the truth. So if anything happened, Mark would be there to protect her. And soon her sister would know the truth as well. She could only hope that the rumor wouldn't get loose. But one step at a time, first she had to change into her scrubs and find her attending for the day. She could find her sister later.

Once in the locker room, she checked the schedule they had hanging by the door. And the name of her specialty for the day made her heart twitch in both good and bad ways.

 _Plastics - Dr. Mark Sloan/Dr. Andrew Wilson_

With a heavy sigh, she turned to her locker and started to change into her scrubs. Her fellow residents were also in the room, but she didn't acknowledged them. She had no interesest in talking to them for the moment. All she wanted was for this day to go by as fast as possible.

As she was pulling her scrub shirt on, she looked into her locker. In the back of her locker, she had put up a photo of her and Mark. It was a selfie taken at Joe's bar late one night. It was around the time they started dating and were still a secret. They had been so happy and for a brief moment, Lexie wondered what happened. Weren't they happy anymore? Had this whole Wilson thing changed their relationship for the worse? The thought saddened Lexie. Right now, Mark had all the power inte the relationship and it scared her. What if he would call it quits and leave her? Maybe dealing with her was becoming too much for him?

Lexie found herself almost slamming the locker door shut. Simultaneously as she put on her lab coat, she turned around and walked out of the locker room. Her main focus had to be medicine. She could talk to Mark about personal stuff later.

It didn't take her long to find him. The meeting point for residents and attendings had come to be the nurses station. When she found him, she noticed immediately how stressed he was. He was currently scrabbling in a chart, and the pile of charts beside him was enough to stress out Lexie as well.

Gathering herself, she straightened herself and approached her attending. _Medicine only, medicine only, medicine only._

"Dr. Sloan." She greeted softly.

"Dr. Grey." Mark replied, keeping his focus on the chart.

"I… I'm your resident for the day."

"Oh. Uh, well, I haven't had time to check. But that's great." He quickly shot a glance towards her before turning back to the chart, writing as if his life depended on it.

Lexie tried to not take any of his behavior personally. "Yeah. So… Do you have anything scheduled for today or are we just waiting for traumas?"

"What time is it?"

"Almost seven."

"Crap." Mark muttered and flipped the chart closed. "I have a surgery in fifteen minutes, and these charts after Wilson-" He cut himself off before he said too much.

Lexie understood completely. She had helped out with George's post-ops after he died, and that job was always messy. Seeing Mark like this made her feel guilty. The only reason he was doing Wilson's post-ops was because of her, the least she could do was help him out. "Go. Prepare for your surgery. I'll take care of these."

Mark glanced up at her and frowned. "You don't have to do that. I'll just postpone the surgery a bit and finish these later."

"Mark, you are the only one who can do the surgery. I would do it for you, but I'm not qualified. But I am more than qualified to finish these charts, so let me do it."

"You're here to learn, Lexie. Not to finish _my_ paperwork."

"Just give me the charts!" Lexie didn't expect herself to raise her voice. But she had and it was no taking it back. "Please, Mark. Let me finish those and you can go save lives, make yourself useful." She begged in a softer tone.

Mark sighed heavily. He knew that they were both blaming themselves, and fighting about it wouldn't solve anything. Admitting himself defeated, he handed her the charts that were resting on the counter.

"Thank you." Lexie replied and sighed. "Now, go. Save lives. Page me if you need me."

"I will. See you later." Mark said and walked down the hallway.

Lexie sighed and ran a hand over her face. This was not how she wanted to start her day. But she had put Mark in this situation and she would have to help him out. Taking a breath, she gathered all the charts in her arms and walked down the hallway, finding a quiet place where she could finish this paperwork.

—

Lexie was sitting on a gurney far down the hallway where no one barely hung around anymore. A small yawn escaped her as she finished off her fourth chart. Only five more to go.

"Hey, Lexie." Meredith Grey greeted her sister with a small smile.

"Hey, Meredith." Lexie replied tiredly. They hadn't seen each other since that time in the cafeteria a few days ago.

"Why are you sitting here in the dark and writing in charts? I thought you were with Mark today." Meredith asked as she took a seat beside her little sister.

"I am on Mark's service today." Lexie confirmed. "But he has surgeries and these post-ops need to be done so…"

"Is it true? That Wilson left?" Meredith had heard the rumor and Derek mentioned something about it. But a lot of rumors ran around this place so you never knew.

"Yeah." Lexie replied shortly.

"Do you know why?" The older Grey asked.

"No, I don't." It was a habit. All the lies had become a habit, and Lexie hated herself for it.

Meredith only nodded. She hadn't expected Lexie to know, but she figured Mark would have told her. With a sigh, she touched Lexie's leg gently. "Well, I should get going. I don't want to keep you from your work." She said and got to her feet. "I'll see you around." And with that, Meredith Grey turned to walk away.

Here was her chance. Here was Lexie's chance to tell her older sister the truth. Without thinking, she put her chart down and opened her mouth. "Meredith, wait!" She called out and got to her feet. When her sister turned around, Lexie sighed in relief and looked down. "Do you have a few minutes? I want to talk to you about something. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Lexie forced herself to look up at her sister. And she was incredibly thankful when she was greeted with a smile and a nod.

"Sure. That sounds great."

—

"How are you holding up?" Derek asked as he and Mark exited the scrub room. Their surgery together had gone rather quick and smoothly. However, Mark hadn't said a word except for medical stuff, and it made Derek worried.

"I'm fine." Mark replied as he put his scrub cap in his lab coat pocket.

"You don't seem fine. What are you thinking about?" Derek knew that something was bothering his friend. And he was determined to find out what.

"It's just…" Mark sighed and ran a hand over his face. "What if he isn't really gone? What if he's just hiding somewhere and waiting for the right opportunity to hurt Lexie?"

Derek sighed. He understood Mark's worries, and he wished he could do something about it. "I don't think he is, honestly."

"Why? How do you know that?"

"I don't, actually." Derek confessed and kept walking. "But I'm curious, how did he plan to hurt you?" Mark had told him about what Wilson had said to Lexie, and it didn't make any sense.

"I honestly don't know…" It annoyed Mark to the bone that the scumbag had threatened Lexie like that.

"Or maybe…" Derek started and thought more about his hypothesis before presenting it to his brother. "Maybe he wouldn't physically hurt you? Maybe he was expecting you to beat him up, and then he could send you to jail for assault? Does that make any sense?"

Mark thought about the hypothesis, it did kind of make sense. Even though it was stupid and insane. "Maybe… All I know is that Lexie was so freaked out by it that she didn't dare to tell me." Mark felt his heart break once again just thinking about it. Lexie was so damaged because of this and he started to worry that he wouldn't get the real Lexie back.

"Yeah…" Derek felt so bad for Mark. He could never even imagine how he would feel if this happened to Meredith. "But the good thing is that the bastard is gone. And probably because he realized that you would keep your cool."

"As long as he stays away." Mark replied dryly as they stopped by the nurses station. Silence fell between them when they both started to write in their respective charts and updating the patients' info.

Derek could still sense that Mark was thinking hard about something. Even since they were kids, Mark had always been easy to read. Derek often knew Mark's next moves before Mark himself did. After finish writing, Derek sighed and turned to his best friend. "What's on your mind?" When he was met by silence, Derek thought for a moment before he figured out what was wrong. "You're worried that something's gonna happen to her." He stated and kept his eyes glued on Mark.

"Of course I'm worried." Mark replied and glared at his brother. "Every time I don't know where she is or who she's with, I'm worried. Every time she's late home or doesn't answer her phone, I'm worried. Every time she starts stuttering on words, or just avoids eye contact, I'm worried. She's a mess, Derek, and I'm the one who has to be there to pick up the pieces of what's left. And I'm scared to death about doing something that will screw everything up. I don't know how to handle her sometimes, and today is one of those times. Last night, I seriously considered sleeping on the couch because she was so freaked out I thought she would be uncomfortable with me in the same bed. She's a mess and I'm a mess." Mark had to take a breath and rested his elbow on the counter and his head in his hand.

Derek watched his friend and was worried that he would fall apart completely. He took a moment to glance around and make sure no one was eavesdropping before he leaned forward and placed his hand on Mark's shoulder. "You're exhausted, Mark. Go home and get some rest. And then I suggest you talk to her about this. Both of you are affected by what happened and you need to get through it together. Talk to her."

Mark could only nod and took another deep breath before meeting Derek's eyes. He straightened himself and left the charts by the computer so the nurse could gather them. "I will." He said and looked back to Derek. "Thanks, Derek. I'll see you later."

—

"Meredith…" Lexie started when her sister hadn't said a word for what felt like a life time. "Mer, please. You have to say something."

Meredith wasn't sure what to say, or even feel. The anger was boiling up like water inside of her and she was worried that the table would be lying on it's side in a short amount of time. In this moment, she was incredibly thankful that they were alone in the cafeteria and the staff was on a break.

"Meredith." Lexie was freaking out. She hadn't expected her sister to react this way.

"Mark knows about this?" It was the only thing Meredith could think of right now.

"Yeah." Lexie sighed and nodded. "He does."

"And he is supporting you?" Finally, the older Grey was meeting the younger's eyes.

"He is." Lexie confirmed. "The best he can at least."

"And the scumbag is gone?"

"Yes." At least Lexie truly hoped so. But she was still checking over her shoulder at times just to make sure.

Meredith sighed heavily. She couldn't believe that something like this had happened to her little sister. "I am so sorry, Lexie. I wish I could have been there to help you."

Lexie felt her eyes fill with tears at her sister's words and now she regretted not telling her sooner. But then again, Wilson's words were printed in her head. Probably forever. With a small nod, she took a ragged breath and felt a tear spill. "Yeah." She whispered and looked down. "I wish you could've, too."

"Oh, Lex." Without a second thought, Meredith moved over to the chair beside Lexie and pulled into her arms. "It's okay. I'm here for you now, and I won't let you push me out. Whatever you need, I'm here."

Lexie just nodded and rested her head on Mer's shoulder. "Thank you."

The moment got interrupted when Lexie received a text message. After wiping her eyes, she pulled out her phone and checked the message.

It was from Mark.

 ** _Shepherd sent me home early. Everything is fine, though, don't worry. Dinner will be done when you get home. Love ya._**

 _'Love ya'_. A small smile covered Lexie's face when she re-read the last two words a few times. Mark really did love her. His odd behavior today must have been because of stress. Nothing to worry about.

"From Mark?" Lexie's thoughts were interrupted when she heard her sister's soft voice penetrate her ears.

"Yeah. He said that he went home early." Lexie replied softly and sat up straight in her chair. Now she just wanted to go home.

As if Meredith could read her sister's mind, she made the decision for her. "Go home, Lexie. I think you both could use the rest of the day to relax and just be together. This place won't go anywhere."

Lexie sighed and put her phone away before glancing up at Meredith. "Thank you, Meredith. For everything."

Meredith offered her little sister a warm smile in return. "You're welcome. Now go. Go home to your boyfriend." She said with a wink and nudged Lexie with her elbow.

"I will. See you tomorrow!" Lexie was up on her feet in an instant an practically ran out of the cafeteria to get her stuff and go home.

—

For the first time in what felt like years, Lexie had a smile on her face when she opened the door to the apartment she shared with Mark. The day had started out really bad for her, but now she had a feeling it would take a turn for the better. Mark's text message made her feel like he truly loved her and won't leave her because of what happened. Maybe they could get through this together. Wrong, they _will_ get through this together.

"Hey!" She called out as she closed the door behind her. When she didn't get a response, she frowned and hung up her coat and purse before making her way inside the apartment and head for the kitchen. She could see Mark clear as a day by the stove where he was making coffee, but he didn't look up to greet her.

"Mark?" She said softly and took another step forward, stopping by the kitchen island to keep her distance.

Mark's head swirled around as if she just appeared behind him. "Oh, hey. Sorry, didn't hear you." He said quickly before turning back to what he was doing.

"'Sorry, didn't hear you'?" Lexie questioned. "That's all I get?" The confusion was rising inside of her. What the hell was going on?

"What do you mean?" Mark asked without looking up at her, clearly avoiding eye contact.

"You've been acting weird all day, Mark." Lexie explained harshly, not even caring about her tone anymore. "I thought it was just stress but…" With a shake of her head, she sighed in frustration and then headed for the adjoining bathroom in their bedroom.

Mark didn't know what to do. He was confused and his thoughts and feelings were all messed up in his head. Putting everything away, he followed Lexie into the bedroom and stopped by the doorway to the bathroom. Derek's words echoed in his head. _Talk to her._

Lexie did her best to ignore her boyfriend as she quickly washed her face in the sink. She had no idea why she was doing that, but she was. When she pulled up straight and wiped her face with the towel, she looked at Mark through the reflection in the mirror.

"What's the matter, Lex?" Mark asked, his voice as soft as silk.

The anger hit Lexie so hard and so fast. Without thinking, she threw the towel against the glass wall of the shower in pure fury. However, it would have been more effective if the thrown item was something hard. "What's the matter?" She asked angrily and turned to face Mark. "The matter is that you are acting weird, and it's driving me crazy! Yes, something horrible happened to me, but you don't have to treat me like I'm made of glass that is gonna break as soon as you touch it!" Her voice rose more and more for each word.

"Well, what do you want me to do!? Sometimes you are like glass that breaks as soon as I touch it!" Mark yelled in the same tone of voice.

"But I can't really help it, can I!? I have a lot of feelings bottled up about this, and I thought you understood that!" The yelling didn't stop on Lexie's part.

"I have a lot of feelings about this, too, Lexie! And _I_ thought _you_ understood that!" For a brief second, Mark wondered why they were fighting about this. But he figured it was feelings that needed out.

"What do you want me to do!?" The anger rose even more and the tears threatened to fill her eyes. Once again.

"Tell me you're okay! Tell me that you are okay, Lexie! That's all I'm asking! I just need to know that you are okay and well and safe! Is that too damn much to ask!?"

Lexie was taken by surprise by his words. The anger was immediately replaced by sadness and for the first time, she realized that Mark was truly feeling bad about all this. And all he wanted was for her to be safe. She watched him sigh and lean against the door frame as he ran a hand over his face.

"I just don't know sometimes, Lex." Mark continued in a softer tone. "One second, you're smiling. Next second, you're hyperventilating. And I just don't know exactly how to handle you when that happens. I'm sorry."

Lexie watched him for a moment before taking a few steps forward. When she was close enough, she reached out to touch his arm. "Why don't you just talk to me about it, instead? I know I messed up a lot by not talking to you, but don't make the same mistake. Don't keep this inside, just talk to me."

"I know… I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." Lexie pressed and leaned in closer.

"Sorry." Mark said and cracked a small smile when he realized that he once again apologized.

Lexie mirrored his smile and leaned up to kiss his cheek. She kept her lips on his skin for a moment, just savoring the feeling of being close to him. For the moment, this was a close as she could get to intimate contact.

"I have been really stressed today, as well." Mark confessed and gently rested his hand on her lower back. "All these post-ops after Wilson along with my own and all the surgeries and… I'm sorry for being a jerk today. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay. I understand." She whispered and took another step closer to break the distance completely. When his grip on her didn't get any tighter like she'd expected, she sighed and took a step back to look into his eyes. "Mark, I'm not gonna break. And I'm not scared of physical contact anymore. You're allowed to touch me, you're allowed to kiss me, you're allowed to hold me. Just…"

"Just keep clothes on." Mark finished for her in a soft tone. He got it now, no intimate contact without clothes. It saddened him that she felt that way, and he once again worried that he wouldn't get real Lexie back. Damn Andrew Wilson and may he burn in hell.

Lexie only nodded and closed the distance by walking into his arms. When they wrapped around her, she smiled to herself and rested her hand on his chest, right above his heart. "We'll be okay, right?"

Mark took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of her shampoo and perfume, before kissing the top of her head. If Lexie believed that they would be okay, who was he to doubt it or question her. "Yeah." He whispered and wrapped his arms more tightly around her small frame. "We'll be okay."


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello, my dear readers. Thank you _so_ much for all the reviews on the last chapter! I love that you are so invested in this story! It makes me so happy, I can't even describe it! I'm only half pleased with parts of this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. I'm just thankful to say that things are finally going in the right direction for Lexie and Mark. And I can't wait to show you what I have in store for these two! We aren't coming to and end just yet, so don't worry ;) Hope you enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to leave a review! The next chapter of _Somewhere only we know_ is in the progress, so stay tuned! :D**

* * *

They had been silent for a while now.

The screaming fight had taken most of both their energy, but Lexie figured it was good to have that fight. She realized that both of them had a lot of feelings bottled up about all this and everything needed to get out. They needed to talk to each other.

They weren't mad at each other, of course. Lexie had ruled that out a long time ago. But they had been pretty quiet over dinner and then somehow made a silent agreement to go to bed. Mark had turned on the television and Lexie had walked into the bathroom to get changed for the night. Everything was like it used to be these last weeks.

However, Lexie had made one small change in her routine. Instead of putting on a long sleeved shirt, she chose a pink tank top. She hadn't even thought about it at first, but when she had looked herself in the mirror, she realized. And after that, she never made an attempt to change back to the long sleeved shirt. Things were finally heading the right way.

Mark's reaction had been noticeable, but he hadn't said anything. And frankly, no words were needed. Mark had made a silent promise to both himself and Lexie that he would wait for her to initiate sex, whenever she felt ready.

With a small smile, Lexie had climbed into the bed with him and placed herself in his arms. The urge to be close to him got stronger and stronger and finally she really started to act upon it. She had pulled the covers up around her as she rested her head on his chest and placed her hand over his heart, enjoying his strong heartbeat under her palm. She had let out a soft sigh when she felt his fingers run up and down her arm. Things were finally like they used to be. Well, except for one thing.

No sex.

The thought sent a chill down Lexie's spine. At the moment, that kind of intimate contact with Mark was close to unthinkable. And she hated it. She hated everything about it. And she hated Andrew Wilson with her entire being. That bastard was the reason she couldn't have a normal relationship with her boyfriend.

Forcing all the thoughts out of her head, she leaned in closer to Mark and noticed how tense he was. She glanced up at him and could clearly see that he was thinking hard about something.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked softly and started to make small patterns with her finger on his warm, naked chest.

Mark snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of her soft voice. He cleared his throat and swallowed the lump before speaking. "Nothing."

"Mark…" She started and sighed. "Please. Don't lie and don't keep things inside. I thought we agreed on that."

A groan escaped him at her words. She was right, and he hated that. "It's just…"

"It's just…? What?" Lexie got more and more anxious and worried about what he was thinking about.

"I just have so many questions."

"About what?"

"About…" Mark couldn't even form the words. A part of him desperately wanted to know at the same time as another part never wanted to think about it. Ever. "That night… Did he… Did he hit you? Did he slam you against the wall? Tied you up to the bed? Held you at gun point?"

Lexie closed her eyes and tried not to think about that night. It was too painful and she didn't want to burden Mark with that information. "Mark… Don't think about that. Please. It won't do you any good and you don't need that information. It won't make you feel better."

"Just answer one question." It was too late now. Once Mark had opened his mouth and uttered his thoughts, there was no going back. "Did he hurt you?"

Lexie sighed heavily and regretted ever asking the question. But she did, and now Mark wanted answers. "He didn't hit me or anything. Just… He just grabbed my wrists really hard and slammed his hips against mine when he…"

Mark squeezed his eyes shut. The image was horrible, but he figured the image of Wilson repeatedly punching Lexie in the face would have been much worse. Letting out the breath he didn't know he had been holding, he wrapped his arms tighter around Lexie and kissed the top of her head. "Will you promise me something?" He whispered against her hair.

"What?"

"If the bastard ever returns, you'll either let me give him what he deserves, or we call the cops."

Lexie let out a sigh and lazily placed her arm over his waist. "If I let you give him what he deserves, you'll end up in jail. So I'm gonna go with the police." As much as she loved the idea of Mark hurting Wilson, she didn't want her boyfriend in jail.

"Good enough." Mark replied and sighed. "And no more secrets, okay? If there's anything you need to tell me, just tell me."

"No more secrets. I promise." Lexie replied and placed a kiss on his collarbone.

"Thank you."

They went silent for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. The muffled sounds from the TV sent them both some comfort. After a minute, it was Lexie who broke the silence first.

"I've been thinking about something."

"What's that?" Mark asked curiously.

"Make an appointment with a counselor." The thought had been on her mind for a while now and it felt like the right thing to do. All she wanted was to get everything back to normal, and maybe a psychiatrist would provide the help she needed.

Mark hadn't considered that option. But now when she mentioned it, he realized that it might be a good idea. "Yeah. Maybe you should. If you think it's necessary."

"I do." She confirmed and started making patterns on his chest again.

"Would you like me to come with you?" The question was spoken softly and quietly.

Lexie thought about it for a moment. "Uhm… I think I'm good on my own actually. But maybe we could go once or twice together?"

"Sounds good to me, Little Grey." He agreed and kissed her on the forehead as he ran his fingers up and down her arm. It was nice to feel more of her skin again. And it felt really good that she started to feel safe enough with him that she could remove some clothes.

"What will happen to that nickname when we get married?"

The words left her mouth before she had time to register. And it caught both of them off guard. They hadn't brought the subject up at all since he got back from Africa, so Mark was really relieved now when Lexie was the one to bring it up first.

"Well, do we really have to change it? You'll always be Little Grey no matter what. And 'Little Sloan' doesn't sound good."

A warm giggle left Lexie at his words. It felt good to be able to sincerely laugh with him again. "What? Is 'Little Sloan' a little intimidating for you?"

"Ha. You're funny." He said sarcastically and squeezed her arm jokingly.

"I know, I'm hilarious." Lexie agreed proudly and smiled widely. She turned serious after a moment and sighed. "But I'm serious, Mark. Has anything changed on that part?" Her biggest fear except for Mark not believing her story, was that he would find her so disgusting that he didn't want to be with her anymore.

"Of course not." Mark replied seriously. "I gave you that ring for a reason. I love you and I want to marry you. Nothing can change that."

"Really? Nothing?"

"Nothing." Mark confirmed. As an afterthought crossed his mind, he added; "Well, the only thing that can change that is if you change your mind."

"That will never happen." Lexie replied sternly. If it was one thing she was sure of, it was that.

"Well, in that case…" Mark started and couldn't help but smile.

"Can we get through this first?" Lexie interrupted before he could finish his sentence. "Believe me, it's _not_ that I don't want to marry you. But I just wanna get through this first. Okay?"

"Of course." Mark replied and kissed the top of her head once again as he hugged her tighter. "I'm sorry if I'm pushy."

"You aren't." Lexie assured and closed her eyes at the feel of his lips on her head.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." She assured again and pulled away from him slightly to look into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Mark replied softly.

Lexie felt so relived that they had started talking to each other and made a move to solve their problems. Without thinking about it, she leaned forward to capture Mark's lips with her own. It was a regular kiss. No tongue and no intentions. Just two pairs of lips connecting. Lexie rested her hands on his chest, and Mark's hand moved up to caress her cheek.

It felt good. Kissing him felt really good. It made her forget everything bad for a moment and allowed herself to get lost in the trance of Mark Sloan. It made her feel like everything would work out.

After a moment, air became needed and Mark was the one to break the kiss first. Lexie pulled away just a little bit and kept her eyes closed. The hand on her cheek didn't move and neither did her hands on his chest. They just stayed like that for a moment, breathing each other in and enjoying the feeling of being close.

"We should get some sleep." Mark whispered and opened his eyes. He felt something tug at him and he had to stop it.

"Yeah." Lexie replied and slowly opened her eyes to meet his ocean blue ones.

"Yeah." Mark repeated and nodded as he gently caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Just lay down and close your eyes. I'll still be here when you wake up."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

With a slight nod, Lexie moved a little bit to lay down properly. She rested her head on Mark's chest once again and sighed in pleasure when his arms wrapped around her. Today had been rough and emotional. But she was thankful that they had let their feelings out and started talking.

And hopefully, a therapist could help them get everything back to normal.

—

The next morning, Mark woke up pretty late. Thankfully, they both had the day off so it didn't matter. He slowly opened his eyes and soon realized that his arms were empty. Lexie was missing.

Sitting up in bed, he soon heard Lexie's voice float from the living room. It sounded like she was either talking to herself or someone on the phone. He decided on the later option. After rubbing his eyes, he reached for his black t-shirt before he got out of the bed and headed for the living room.

"Okay, thank you so much. Yeah, I'll be there." Lexie said into the phone and hung up. A heavy sigh left her as she stood by the window and looked over the view. It was raining today, but the skyline over Seattle was still beautiful.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Mark asked as he leaned against the doorway, watching her by the window.

Lexie swirled around gasping and looked like she'd seen a ghost. "Don't scare me like that." She breathed and placed her hand over her chest, waiting for her heart to beat normally again.

"Sorry." Mark said sincerely and walked closer to her. "Who was on the phone?"

"My therapist." Lexie replied and couldn't help but sound proud.

"Your therapist?" Mark questioned and frowned.

"Yeah. I thought about it and decided to try and get an appointment as soon as possible." She explained. "Lucky for me, Dr. Jones had an opening today."

Mark could only nod. He hadn't expected Lexie to move so quickly, but a part of him was glad that she did. "How long will it take?"

"Not longer than an hour." She smiled at him and then broke the gap between them by wrapping her arms around his waist. "This feels good." She said and closed her eyes in pleasure. "I think this will really help."

"That's great, Lex." Mark whispered and wrapped his arms securely around her. "I think this will be good for both of us. I just want you to be okay."

"And I want _you_ to be okay, too." Lexie confessed and planted a kiss on the exposed skin right above the collar of his shirt.

"I will be." Mark assured her and moved his hand up and down her back. He didn't care about his wellbeing, as long as Lexie was okay. He could be as miserable as possible, as long as Lexie was okay. He could be dying, as long as Lexie was okay. That was the _only_ thing that mattered to him.

"Mark…" Lexie started after a minute of silence.

"Yeah, Lex?" Mark replied in a soft whisper.

"You've been really patient with me in every way possible, and I'm incredibly grateful for it." She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm sorry I can't give you what you need at the moment, and I wouldn't blame you, or even argue, if you want to find a woman for a night or two and-"

She was cut off mid-sentence when Mark grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away from him, keeping her at arms length and glaring into her brown eyes.

 _How could she ever suggest such a thing?_

"What?" He asked, his eyes burning into her soul.

"I said that I wouldn't blame you if-"

"I heard what you said." He tired to keep his voice soft, last thing he wanted was for her to think that he was angry with her. But after that _insane_ proposal, it was hard to remain calm.

Lexie picked up on what he was feeling. She didn't quite know where that idea came from, but it sounded logical to her and she… She just wanted to help him out. Suddenly, she felt like a child who was about to be sent to her room and think about what she'd done. A defeated sigh left her already parted lips before she looked down and moved out of Mark's grip, heading towards the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Lexie." Mark uttered her name with a feeling neither of them could define. He sighed and ran a hand over his face before he followed her to the kitchen, making sure to keep his respectful distance. "Lexie, what the hell was that?"

"Please, leave it." Lexie whispered and closed her eyes. "Please. I'm sorry, please leave it."

Mark sighed heavily and could feel his heart break for the woman in front of him. "I love you." He started, he couldn't leave it. Not until he got the words out. "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to start a family with you some day. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And you're the only woman I want to sleep with. Honestly, I don't care if I'm never getting laid again, you're the only one for me, Lex." He needed her to understand. He thought she had understood last night, but apparently not.

He was met with silence. She was ashamed, he could tell. The way she kept her head low, probably keeping her eyes closed. She was ashamed for making such a stupid proposal.

"I'm sorry." She repeated in a whisper. "I'm so sorry." She didn't even notice her knuckles turning white form gripping the counter so hard.

Her words from last night echoed in his head. _You're allowed to touch me. You're allowed to hold me._ Without a word, he slowly walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. In an instant, she turned around in his arms and wrapped her arms around his midsection, her head resting against his chest. "Stop apologizing." He whispered against her hair and closed his eyes. _She is so damaged._ "You're the only one for me, Lexie Grey, don't you ever forget that. So don't make such a lame proposal ever again. Okay?"

In that moment, with Mark's arms wrapped around her like that, she realized for the first time how damaged she was from what happened. Something was clearly wrong with her and she needed it to go away. She needed the _pain_ to go away. His soft words touched her soul and she found herself sigh against him. "Okay." She whispered, promising both of them that she would never make such a proposal again.

They stayed like that for a moment. Both savoring the feeling of being close to each other and slowly burying this conversation in the past. After a minute, Mark was the one to break the silence first.

"When is your appointment?"

"She had an opening right after lunch." Lexie explained and wrapped her arms tighter around Mark.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, thank you." Lexie replied sincerely. "I want to do this on my own."

"Okay." Mark whispered and kissed the top of her head.

"We'll be okay." Lexie said and wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Mark or herself. "Once I start therapy, we'll be okay."

"We'll be okay, Little Grey." Mark assured her. It would be a while until he believed it himself, but right now it was Lexie who needed the reassurance, not him. "We'll get through this."

—

Lexie was tapping her foot as she sat down in the chair opposite Dr. Kate Jones, Seattle Grace's newest therapist. She wanted to get started with this healing process as soon as possible, for both her and Mark's sake.

"So…" Dr. Jones started and placed her writing pad in her lap. "Lexie. Would you like to tell me what happened?" Her voice was soft as silk, and it made Lexie calm. This woman reminded her of her mother.

Lexie remained silent. She thought it would be rather easy to speak up to this woman. Sadly, it wasn't. Her foot kept tapping in the floor and she found herself looking around the room, focusing her gaze on the paintings on the walls.

"Lexie…" Dr. Jones called her name softly, no underlying judgement whatsoever. "I'm here to help you. I'm here to listen. And I already know what happened to you. You asked for a counselor in this particular area. You have nothing to be afraid of. No-one is gonna hurt you or judge you. You are safe here."

Lexie inhaled a shaky breath as she kept focusing on the paintings. Warm colors. Warm colors to make you feel at home and safe. She had done the psychology course in med school and she especially remembered that part. Still, it didn't make her feel anymore safe. She tried to think about Mark. Tried to think about that he wanted her to be okay. But all she could think about was numbers. One thing she also learned through her photographic memory was statistics.

"Twenty-six percent." She whispered, not sure if she was speaking to herself or her therapist.

"Twenty-six percent?" Dr. Jones asked, curious to what was going on in her patient's head. At least she was talking now.

"I read a study." Lexie continued and swallowed hard. "Thirty-one percent were raped by a boyfriend or lover, eleven percent were raped by a complete stranger, nine percent by a family member, including husbands. And twenty-six percent of the women in the study had been raped by a nonromantic acquaintance. Such as a friend, neighbor or… _Co-worker_."

"Yeah. It's not unusual, unfortunately." Dr. Jones filled in sadly.

"It's crazy." Lexie muttered. "I can't believe that is happening to women." _I can't believe it happened to me._

"I agree." Dr. Jones said softly, feeling sympathy for her patient.

"What are these women doing wrong? What are they doing to make the men think that it's okay to…?" Lexie had so many questions. Why did that happen? Why did it happen to her? Why did Wilson do it?

"They aren't doing anything wrong, Lexie." Dr. Jones assured her. "When it comes to rape, it's never the woman's fault."

Lexie finally looked up at her therapist. Mark had said the same thing. _Rape is rape, it's never the woman's fault_. But was that the case every time?

"Do you wanna tell me what happened, Lexie?" Dr. Jones asked softly.

Could she really trust this woman? Would she judge her? Blame her? Tell her that everything was her fault? "What if it was my fault?" She asked in a shaky whisper.

"What if _what_ was your fault?" Dr. Jones asked, patiently waiting for her to open up.

"The…" She tried swallow the lump in her throat, but failed. "The rape. I mean he… He kissed me and I kissed him back." Lexie wasn't even aware that she hadn't told the whole story. She was so deep in her own thoughts.

"Just because you kiss someone, it doesn't mean you can't change your mind." Dr. Jones filled in.

"Then why did he keep going?" Lexie asked as a tear escaped her eye. "Why did he keep going even though I said no?"

"I don't know." Dr. Jones replied softly. "But what you have to understand is that it was _not_ your fault, Lexie."

"But I kissed him back." Lexie argued and couldn't help it when she started to cry.

"It doesn't matter." Dr. Jones told her more sternly now. "When a person says no, it means no."

Lexie was speechless for a moment, taking her time to try and understand what her therapist were saying. "Mark, my boyfriend, said the same thing. That it wasn't my fault. That Wilson should have listened when I said no…"

"Well, Mark is right." Jones spoke more softly now, and it made Lexie calm.

Lexie closed her eyes for a moment, fighting to believe what she was being told at this moment. It wasn't her fault. _It wasn't my fault. That bastard should have listened to me._

"How do you feel after what happened?" Dr. Jones asked after a moment, sensing that Lexie was ready to take the next step.

"Well…" Lexie started and finally stopped tapping her foot. "I… I'm not sure, actually. A part of me thinks that it was my fault. That if I hadn't kissed him, he wouldn't have done anything." She had to take a breath and calm herself down to get her thoughts straight. "I mostly feel guilty for lying to Mark."

"How is he taking this?" Dr. Jones asked softly. It seemed like this woman wouldn't judge her. She was here to help.

"He…" Lexie thought about it for a moment. "He's pissed. He's pissed at Wilson. And at times, I fear that he's pissed at me as well. He claims that he isn't but…"

"Has he expressed his feelings at all? Has he ever said that he is angry with you?"

"No. He says that he isn't angry with me. And I honestly don't understand how. I lied to him, I kept secrets from him, for weeks. And he _forgave_ me for it. But if the roles were reversed, I would have been furious with him. But he isn't." Thoughts like this made Lexie nervous and anxious.

"Why would he be angry with you? It wasn't your fault."

"But I lied to him." Lexie repeated and looked up at Dr. Jones, a pleading look in her eyes.

"Yes, you did. But he forgave you for that, you said so yourself. He understands why you felt the need to lie." The logic behind her words couldn't get any more clear. Sadly for Lexie, it didn't help.

Silence fell between them as Dr. Jones let this sink into her patient. When Lexie didn't break the silence after a minute, Dr. Jones decided to do it for her.

"Let's get back to my original question. How do you feel after what happened?" Lexie hadn't expressed how she felt. Anger, sadness and so on. And Dr. Jones needed Lexie to find that feeling in order to start healing. "Are you angry?"

Lexie thought about the question for a moment and tried to localize the feeling she had felt besides fear. And now when she thought about it, she realized that she was, in fact, angry. Wilson had no right to invade her personal space in the first place. He had no right to kiss her without permission and he certainly didn't have _any_ right to-

"Son of a bitch." Lexie muttered and felt herself fist her hands in her lap.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Lexie." Dr. Jones ordered softly, making sure that her patient didn't feel obligated to express her feelings.

"That bastard." Lexie muttered a bit louder and tried to get her thoughts straight. "Everything is his fault. He's the reason I have trust issues. Andrew Wilson is the reason I don't trust my boyfriend enough to have sex with him!" The anger rose inside of her and she felt the tears well up in her eyes. "Damn it."

Kate Jones let Lexie deal with her thoughts and emotions for a moment. This was the reaction she wanted to get out of her patient. The first step of recovery was to localize the issue and then deal with it from there. When she noticed that Lexie had calmed down a bit she took a deep breath before speaking again. "Is Mark understanding on that part?"

"He is." Lexie confirmed and closed her eyes. The image of Mark helped her relax. "We had a fight yesterday, though."

"About what?"

"About him treating me like… Like I'm made of glass. But I think we solved it. We've started talking."

"Good. That's good. He seems to be handling it pretty well, after all."

"Yeah." Lexie said and nodded. She wiped her tears and took a deep breath. One thing had been bothering her ever since Mark came back from Africa. One question that had been eating her inside and that never seemed to leave her alone. "Will I ever be able to be intimate with him again?"

"If you trust Mark enough, I'm certain that you will."

"Really?" Lexie asked and looked at her doctor with hope in her eyes.

"Really. Just remember that you have to feel completely ready to take the next step. And don't rush it."

Lexie just nodded. It felt good to be given that kind of reassurance.

"Do you trust him?" The question was asked softly.

Lexie didn't have to think about it for one second. "I trust him with my life."

"So what is the worst thing that could happen if you had sex with him?" It wasn't that Dr. Jones wanted to push her, but she just wanted to know what Lexie thought.

Lexie had to think about the answer for a moment. What _was_ the worst thing that could happen? "The worst thing that could happen would be that he doesn't listen when I say 'no' or 'stop'. I'm scared that he will hurt me on purpose."

"Do you think that will happen? Will he ignore you? Will he hurt you?"

"No…" Lexie knew that Mark wasn't capable of such things. Whenever someone said 'no' or 'stop', he would listen.

"Then all you can do is wait until you're ready." Jones told her softly. "And if Mark is like you've described him, I'm more than 100% sure that he will be patient and wait for you."

Lexie could only nod. The agreement she made with Mark last night and Dr. Jones' words made her feel better. She didn't have to feel bad about not having sex with him anymore. For the first time, Lexie accepted that she has a right to feel bad about what happened.

And now she knew she had people she loved to be there to support her.

"I think this has been a good first session, Lexie." Dr. Jones said and smiled at her as she flipped her pad shut and place the pen on top of it. "I'm sure we can solve this together and you will get back to normal again."

"Thank you." Lexie said and offered her therapist a small smile before she got to her feet.

"I just have one more question." Jones said and followed Lexie up. "Do you have any female support? A mom, sister, friend?"

"My sister." Lexie replied quickly. Her mother was ruled out and she didn't quite know if she could count Callie as a friend, she was sort of reserved for Mark. "Meredith. I think I have her support. I'm actually seeing her tonight." She had gotten the text from Meredith earlier today, asking if she wanted to come over for a glass of wine.

"That's good." Jones said and smiled. "Take care of yourself, and I'll see you next week."

"Thank you so much." Lexie said with a small smile before she left the small room.

As she walked down the hallway of the hospital, she felt relieved. Finally she was starting to deal with her issues and she was determined to get her life back to normal.

And some sister time with Meredith would do her some good.


	20. Chapter 20

**I promised _ButterflyWhisperer_ an update tonight, and I always keep my promises so here it is! This chapter turned out soooooo long, but I just couldn't help it. And frankly, I don't care because I felt that it was necessary. Both Mark and Lexie have inner battles with themselves and I really want to get it out for you. Hopefully you won't mind the long chapters.  
** **Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter! As always, I get so happy when I receive and read them. I love that you are so invested in this story!  
** **Hope you like this chapter as much as I do. I know you wanted some more Mer/Lex scenes so here you go!  
** **Don't forget to leave a review, let me know what you think. And stay tuned for the next update! :D**

* * *

"You're awfully quiet." Mark said in an observed tone as he quickly glanced over to Lexie in the passenger seat.

"Sorry." Lexie said softly, swallowing and switching her gaze from the outside world down to her hands in her lap. "I guess I'm just lost in my own thoughts." Hopefully a glass of wine with Meredith would help with that.

"You never told me how it went with Dr. Jones." Mark approached the subject carefully, it was hard not knowing what mood she was in. And she could switch so quickly.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Lexie replied. The session had stirred up her feelings a lot and she wasn't ready to tell Mark about it yet. She still needed some time to process.

"You don't have to tell me what you talked about. I just wanna know if it helped you. If the session made you feel a little better." Deep down, he wanted to know all about what they talked about. But if she wasn't ready…

"It was okay. First session, you know. Still have a long way to go." Lexie said and looked out the window again.

"Okay. Understandable." Mark said in a soft tone and couldn't help it when he reached his hand out to touch hers. He was taken by surprise when he felt her fingers intertwine with his. He had expected her to pull away.

Silence fell between them as Mark kept on driving towards Derek and Meredith's house. Since Meredith and Lexie had decided on a 'sister night', Derek thought it was a good idea to take Mark out for drinks at Joe's. Mark silently admitted that Derek knew exactly what him and Lexie needed at the moment. Things had been so stirred up lately and Mark needed someone to talk to, as he expected Lexie was gonna do with her sister.

He couldn't help it when the thoughts entered his head again. Lexie had been acting totally different ever since he got home from Africa. It made sense after what she'd been through and that she had been lying to him about Wilson and other details. But, now she had confessed everything, and still she was acting strange. It made him worried. Of course he was aware that she had been through a trauma. And traumas, as his med school training had taught him, were hard to get back from. He briefly thought back to all the cases in which the patient never fully recovered. And the thought sent a chill down his spine. Lexie Grey had always been such a shiny and happy woman. Sure, she had been through a lot, but she always bounced back. And when he compared the Lexie Grey he left behind in Seattle with the Lexie Grey who was sitting beside him in his car, he came to the conclusion that it was a totally different woman.

It scared him. What if Lexie was one of those patients who never really recovered? That just couldn't happen. He had to do something about it. Support her, be there for her, don't push her, wait for her to open up to him. Just too bad that it was so damn exhausting.

"Thank you." Lexie's soft voice penetrated his ears and pulled him out of his thoughts.

"For what?" Mark asked softly, keeping his eyes on the road.

"For everything." Lexie stated as if it was obvious. "For being so patient and understanding."

Patient and understanding. He knew all to well what she really was talking about. Would she never leave that topic? Would she never understand that sex really didn't matter to him at the moment?

"No need to thank me." He replied, forcing himself to keep his voice as soft as before. Even though he felt the need to seriously yell at her in order to get her to understand. "I would do anything for you, and you know it."

"So you and Derek are going to Joe's?" Lexie asked and looked down at her lap again, quickly changing the subject in order to avoid the conversation she sensed was coming. Again.

"Yeah." Mark replied and couldn't help but sigh a bit.

"That's good." She stated and nodded. "You could use some time away from home." And Joe's was filled with single women who were out looking for a good time.

"Don't even think about it, Lex." He said firmly and let go of her hand, using both his hands to turn the wheel as he made a left turn. Not really necessary, but still. "I meant what I said this morning. End of discussion."

Thankfully, Mark had now parked the car outside of Derek and Meredith's house. He needed that discussion to end and be buried somewhere. Frankly, it wasn't even a discussion to begin with. Turning off the engine, he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. "I don't know what to say or do to make you understand. So could you please just put those thoughts to rest." He gave her five seconds to respond. When she didn't, he sighed and glanced over at her. "Tonight, we are gonna have a good time, think about something else for a while and just live. Okay?"

"Okay." Lexie whispered and shot a quick glance towards him before sighing and opening the car door, slowly getting out before closing it behind her.

Mark watched his girlfriend and took a moment to gather himself before following her.

—

"Hey! There you are!" Meredith said in a happy voice as she opened the door for her sister and her boyfriend.

"Hey, Mer." Lexie said and offered her older sister a warm smile before embracing her in a hug. A much needed hug.

"Mark." Derek greeted, coming up behind Meredith and smiling at the closest thing he had to a brother. "You ready?" He asked and reached for his jacket.

"Yeah." He said and glanced over to the hugging sisters. "You ladies will be okay tonight?" He asked with a casual smirk.

"Yes, Mark." Meredith said and let go of Lexie. "Just a glass of wine and some girl talk. Nothing you two will ever understand." She added and laughed.

"Should hope so." Mark replied and took a step closer towards Lexie, causing her to turn and look up at him. He wasn't sure where they were standing at the moment. But he didn't want to leave things at a bad place. "You gonna be okay?" He asked softly.

"Yeah." She replied with a small smile and a nod.

"Good." He said and still were at loss for what to do. Kiss her? Hug her? Shake her hand? Just leave with a goodbye?

"Have fun at Joe's." Lexie said, reaching her hand out to touch his arm.

"I will." He replied, smiling at her.

"And… Just with Derek, okay?" She kept her voice low, not wanting Derek and Meredith to hear.

"Just Derek." Mark confirmed, relieved that she had changed her mind about the 'finding a random woman for a night'. "I'll pick you up later."

"Sounds good." She said and nodded. Before he could decide what to do, she leaned forward and captured his lips in a soft goodbye kiss. "Bye." She whispered softly once they pulled apart.

"Bye." He said and smiled at her before turning to Derek. "Let's go, Shepherd."

"Coming, coming." Derek said with a chuckle and quickly kissed Meredith goodbye before heading out with Mark. "Have fun, girls." He said over his shoulder before closing the door.

"Bye." Meredith said with a small laugh and casually waved her hand at the two men who just left. With a sigh, she turned towards her little sister. "Red or white?"

"Red." Lexie replied and offered her sister a small smile before following her into the living room.

—

Mark had been quiet during the whole car ride from Derek's place to Joe's. He would have been lying if he said it was because he wanted to concentrate on the driving. Truth was that he was still in deep thoughts.

But nevertheless, they made it there safely.

Derek carefully observed his best friend as they approached the bar. Mark didn't have to think twice before he ordered two glasses of single malt scotch. Mark always found comfort in that drink. And that drink would always connect him to Derek in a special way.

The two men took place in the bar stools and awaited their beverages. Mark immediately pulled a bowl of peanuts towards him and casually started eating. He could feel Derek's eyes burning holes in his head, causing him to sigh and then finally turn to meet his eyes. "So…"

"So." Derek replied with a small smile. "Here we are. Again. I haven't been out with you since Africa."

"Yeah." Mark said and turned back to the peanuts.

"You gonna share those with me?" Derek asked with a chuckle.

Without a word, Mark just grabbed the bowl and placed it between them. A moment later, Joe brought their drinks. A silent nod was all Mark could manage in thanks.

"You're quiet again." Derek said as he took peanuts out of the bowl.

"Lexie started therapy." The words just blurted out of him. He didn't even have time to register.

"Okay." Derek replied with a nod, drawing out the last syllable. "That's good, isn't it? She's processing."

"That's great." Mark said and nodded, keeping his eyes on the drink in front of him. He briefly remembered Lexie telling him that this is the place Wilson started talking to her that night. This is the place where it all began. Well, he wasn't sure it was this exact spot. But it was in this bar. And the thought alone made him wanna punch someone.

"Mark, look at me." Derek ordered in a stern tone. The stern tone he used whenever he needed Mark to listen to him. Like the time he asked him to stay away from Lexie.

Mark took a quick sip of the drink and then met Derek's eyes, rather curious.

"Talk to me." Derek ordered, glaring into Mark's eyes. "Lexie is talking to someone, beginning to process all of this. And you should too. Talk to me, tell me what's going on in your head. I'm not a professional but I know how you function and what you need."

Mark held Derek's gaze for a moment, listening to him and weighing his options. Talking would be good for him. Telling someone what was going on his in head, the things that he couldn't talk to Lexie about. Allowing himself to be the weak one for a minute or two.

"I'll make you a deal." He began and took another sip of his drink as he broke eye contact with Derek. "Let's finish the first drink, then we'll talk." Time. He just needed some time. Time to get a small amount of alcohol into his system, think about things for a minute and then utter his thoughts.

Derek watched his brother and nodded. "Deal."

—

Lexie had been staring at her glass of red wine for what felt like hours.

The amount of glasses of alcohol she had consumed since that night could be counted on her ten fingers. She didn't trust alcohol. Alcohol did things to her. She was a doctor, she knew exactly what effect alcohol had on the human brain.

But it was _just_ a glass of wine. Wine wouldn't hurt, right? One glass of wine wouldn't make her kiss the wrong person and get herself raped.

 _No,_ she thought to herself and mentally shook her head as she remembered what Dr. Jones had said. It didn't matter that she had been drunk when Wilson kissed her. It shouldn't have mattered how drunk, or high, or sober she was. When she said no, he should have listened and backed off.

But still. It was a glass of wine.

"Lexie?" Meredith said softly, interrupting her sister's thoughts.

Lexie snapped out of her daze and looked up to meet her older sister's eyes. "Yes?"

"You okay?" A warm smile covered her face, a gentle look in her eyes that shined with love.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lexie said and faked a smile before glancing back to her glass, still untouched. "You were in therapy, right?"

Meredith was taken aback by the sudden question. Therapy and psychological things were still something she didn't feel completely comfortable talking about. But it was one simple question, no harm in answering it. "Yes, I was. A few years back. Why?"

"I started therapy today." Lexie confessed without even thinking about it. Her gaze was still strong on her glass as she spoke.

"Oh." Meredith said and nodded in understanding. "Well, that's good, right? I mean, after what you went through, I think it's a good idea to bring in a professional. Nothing wrong with that."

Lexie only nodded, feeling relieved that her sister was so supportive about this. "Yeah, Mark thought so too." She would be lying if she said she wasn't doing this for him, as well.

"How was it? The first session?" Mer asked gently as she took a sip of her wine. She had noticed that Lexie hadn't touched hers, but she wasn't gonna push her.

"It was good, actually. I realized a lot of things I haven't considered earlier."

"Like what?" Meredith asked curiously, hoping that Lexie would open up to her.

"That what happened _really_ wasn't my fault."

"Oh, Lexie…" Meredith said softly and found herself moving over to the other couch that Lexie was occupying. She sat down beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"It's okay. Really." She said and glanced over at her sister. "I'm fine."

"Well, I'm glad you finally realized it. Something like this is never the woman's fault." Her tone of voice was firm but yet loving.

"I know. I really know that, now." Lexie said and nodded before glancing back at her glass, silently debating with herself on whether to drink it or not.

—

Casual topics had been brought up as they were still finishing their first glasses. Topics that contained sports, alcohol or memories. No talk about the Grey sisters at all, or anything that had happened these past months.

Mark was laughing at something Derek was telling him, casually sipping his drink, when a woman approached him. Neither of the men noticed her. Nevertheless, she offered a warm smile and leaned against the bar counter.

"Hey, there." She said in a seductive tone, finally getting Mark's attention.

Five years ago, one look at that woman would have been enough for Mark Sloan to pay his bill, take her home, and give her a night she would never forget. But not this time. This was a different Mark Sloan. A Mark Sloan that was in a committed relationship with Lexie.

"Can I buy you a drink?" The blonde, blue-eyed woman asked, making sure to emphasize her cleavage. She was, indeed, gorgeous.

Mark eyed the woman for a moment, silently calculating if this was a set-up. By Lexie.

 _I wouldn't blame you if you want to find a woman for a night._

No. That wasn't happening. Not tonight or any other night.

"Sorry, I'm engaged. And busy hanging out with my friend." Mark replied casually, not so much as offering her an apologetic smile.

"That's too bad." The blonde woman replied with a small smile before she turned around and left. Probably going to try and seduce another guy.

Mark just shook his head in annoyance and grabbed his glass, letting out a breath before downing the remaining contents. He made a sound and placed the glass back on the counter.

"Wow." Derek said and looked impressed. "A few years ago, you would have picked her up on that offer."

"A year ago, I would have picked her up on that offer." Mark corrected and held one finger up at Joe, indicating that he wanted another drink.

"But you're a different guy now." Derek said proudly, finishing his own drink and then waved at Joe for another one.

Mark couldn't help but chuckle at that one. He _was_ a different guy. Too bad some people still didn't think that. The fact that his own _girlfriend_ seemed to think that sex was all he cared about actually hurt him.

"What?" Derek asked as he took a few more peanuts out of the bowl, watching Mark carefully as another drink was placed in front of them.

"Lexie, she…" Mark shook his head at the stupidity of it all. "She basically gave me permission to screw a random woman for a night or two."

To say that Derek was surprised was the understatement of the year. "You can't be serious."

"Oh, I'm serious." Mark assured and glanced over at him. "This morning. She thanked me for being patient and then told me to go have sex with someone."

It was first now it dawned to Derek. Sure, they were close friends. But they didn't really give any details about their sex lives. So it was first now that Derek understood that Mark and Lexie hadn't had sex at all since they got back.

"Not gonna lie, though." Mark continued when it was obvious Derek wasn't gonna say anything. "I really miss it. I miss the sex. With Lexie. Sex with Lexie is…" A sigh left him as he grabbed his glass and took another sip. "I miss having sex with Lexie."

"Has she said why?"

"No. But I assume it's because she thinks I'll… Or because she's ashamed or… Something. I don't really know. I just hope she'll talk about it in therapy." It pained him that he didn't even know why she was withholding sex. Not that it mattered, but it was obvious that there were a lot of details he didn't know about.

"I'm sure she will." Derek assured and patted his shoulder. "And I know you know this already, but just give her time. I know it's hard and it's taring you apart, but give her time."

Mark nodded and took another big sip of his scotch. He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face. "I know."

—

"Hey, is Addison Montgomery single?" Lexie asked as she took a sip of her wine. She had finished half the glass now and she was relieved when it felt okay to drink from the wine. One glass wouldn't hurt.

"I don't know." Meredith replied and eyed her sister suspiciously. "Why?"

Lexie held her sister's gaze for a moment, trying to come up with a good reply to the question. She actually couldn't believe that she still had these thoughts in her head. Mark loved _her_. Why was that so hard for her to understand. "No reason." She said quickly and glanced down to her glass.

Meredith didn't like her sister's answer. And she knew that Lexie wouldn't just casually ask about Addison's relationship status. "Why do you want to know that, Lexie?" She pressed.

A heavy sigh left Lexie's already parted lips. She was so torn between wanting Mark to be happy, and wanting him all for herself. "I think I did something stupid." She said in a sad tone.

"What?" Meredith asked and got more and more suspicious.

"I… I basically gave Mark permission to have sex with a random woman." She confessed and ran a hand over her face. She wanted Mark to get a release if he needed to, but she actually didn't want him to sleep with someone else.

"Why?"

"Because he hasn't had sex since before he left for Africa!" Lexie exclaimed. "And that's months ago. And I just… I just _can't_ have sex with him right now. I just can't!"

Silence fell between the sisters as the realization hit the older one. So Lexie and Mark hadn't had sex since before he left. It was understandable of course. After a trauma like Lexie had been through, you don't just bounce back and get back on the horse, so to speak. It's a lot of emotional trauma to deal with. "But, Lex… Why would you want him to have sex with someone? Isn't he understanding enough?"

"He is." Lexie confirmed and took a deep breath. "But I can't shake the feeling that he's just lying to me. I want him to be happy. And I know how much sex means to him-"

"But that was years ago." Meredith interrupted with a smile on her face. "Before he met you, he would have taken home anything with a pulse. But since you, he's changed. He's not a man whore anymore. He's in a committed relationship with you, and that's not scary for him. If it had been, he would've cheated on you a long time ago. But he hasn't."

Lexie took a moment to think about what her sister had just said. Maybe she was right. If Mark hadn't been pleased with her, he _would_ have cheated on her a long time ago. But he hadn't. He had been committed to her since day one. Maybe that really stood for something.

"Lexie." Meredith pressed to get her attention. When she did, she offered her one of her warmest smiles. "Mark Sloan loves you. If he wanted to have sex with someone else, he would have done it a long time ago. Do you understand?"

"So he's gonna be patient with me?" Lexie asked, her voice shaking a bit at the uncertainty.

"Whenever you're ready to take the next step, he's gonna be there. Until then, he won't touch you, or any other woman." Meredith was certain as she spoke, and the smile was still on her face, making sure that her sister understood. "So don't encourage Mark to find someone else because it's just not gonna work."

Lexie listened to her older sister, thankful that she believed that Mark wouldn't do anything like that. For a brief moment, she inwardly laughed at herself for even suggesting it in the first place. From now on, she was gonna believe that Mark wanted to be with _her_ , and no one else.

And that brought a smile to her face.

—

"Do you remember Kimberly?" Mark asked as he took a few peanuts.

Derek took a sip of his drink and nodded before glancing back at Mark. "Yeah, I remember Kim." He said and sighed as he thought about the British surgeon they had gotten to know in Africa. The one who died during the attack.

"Did you know that I talked to her that morning?" Mark asked and met his brother's eyes. The memory was so painful for him, but he needed to get it out.

"I remember you two talking all the time. She had a crush on you." Derek said with a smirk and took a few peanuts.

"Yeah." Mark agreed and found himself smiling despite himself. "But anyway, I talked to her that morning. And she… She told me how happy she was that we were there to help. And how safe she felt in my presence." A small, sad, chuckle left him at the memory. "She said that no matter what happened, she would feel safe, and confident that I would save her." The thought made him angry. He remembered her happy face when she told him that she felt safe, and just hours later, he found her dead on the ground.

"You couldn't save her." Derek stated sadly, knowing exactly what was going on in his best friend's head.

"I couldn't save her. And it's not like I promised her that or anything, but I should have been able to save her. She trusted me, she trusted me with her life, and I failed." Mark started ranting, causing Derek to soon realize that he wasn't talking about Kimberly anymore.

Mark took a deep breath, gathering himself before taking another sip. Once he swallowed, he swirled the contents in the glass, watching it carefully. "I should have been there for Lexie. I should have been able to protect her. But I wasn't." He muttered before downing the remains in the glass.

"You didn't know, Mark." Derek tried to comfort him, knowing that it was useless. "And it shouldn't have mattered where in the world you were when that happened. The moment she said no, the bastard should have stopped. It shouldn't have mattered if you were dead or in the next room. Wilson shouldn't have touched her."

"Yeah, well, he did. And now Lexie is a mess and I don't know what to do."

"Then I have a suggestion." Derek said with a small smile on his face, finishing his drink in one gulp and then placing money on the counter, paying for both him and Mark. "We are gonna go back home to our women, you are gonna take Lexie home, and just be with her tonight. In what way, I don't know or care, but you are gonna be with her. Watch a movie or something." Derek was proud of his own idea and considered doing the same thing with Meredith.

Despite Mark's thoughts and feelings, he found himself smiling at Derek's suggestion. And it wasn't a bad idea. That would be a perfect ending to this day. It felt really good to be able to pour his heart out to Derek. There were a lot of things he didn't feel comfortable talking to Lexie about yet, and he was thankful to have Derek there.

"What are we waiting for, then?" Mark asked in a happy tone and got to his feet, ready to leave this place and get back to Lexie. "Let's go."

—

Lexie was laughing at a story her sister was telling her when they heard a car pull up on the drive way, and the headlights from the car were shining through the windows. She glanced out and sighed softly, feeling glad that her boyfriend was back.

"I had a really nice time." Lexie said in a soft tone and glanced over at Meredith. "I really needed this. And thank you for listening, I actually feel much better."

"Anything for you, Lexie." Meredith assured and smiled back. "I'm just glad I can help. You know you can always come to me, for anything."

"I know." Lexie confirmed and nodded. It felt good to have Meredith as female support in this. At times, she couldn't help but wish that she had more friends. Maybe she could count Callie as a friend, but she was more Mark's friend. Whatever Lexie told her, she would tell Mark. At least that's what she always thought.

The sisters' conversation got interrupted when they heard the front door open, indicating that Mark and Derek had gotten back. With a smile on both their faces, they got up and walked out to the front door to greet their men.

"Hey, you." Derek said in a happy tone and immediately went over to kiss Meredith hello. It didn't take long for her to lean in to the kiss and just savor the moment.

Lexie watched her sister and brother-in-law for a moment before glancing over at Mark. After the session today, and the talk with Meredith, she finally realized for real that Mark really loved her and intended to stay in her life for a long time. And that made her happy. After Wilson, she was sure Mark would find her so disgusting and horrible.

But he didn't.

"Hey." Lexie greeted in a soft tone, a warm smile on her face as she locked eyes with him.

"Hey, yourself." Mark replied and smiled at her, wondering what got her in such good mood. The tension had obviously gotten easier.

As if they could communicate through eye contact, they both took a few steps closer. Lexie slowly wrapped her arms around Mark's next, as he let his hands rest on the small of her back. They kept eye contact for a moment before they both leaned forwards, and soon their lips were connecting in a sweet hello kiss.

However, as their lips connected, Lexie could taste the scotch on him. And the taste brought flashbacks into her mind. Memories she would rather forget. Wilson had tasted the same thing when he kissed her, and the memory of what happened after that freaked her out.

Before Mark had time to react, Lexie quickly broke the kiss and pushed him away from her. Her eyes were wide as she glared at him, not knowing if she should be angry or scared.

"Are you drunk?" Lexie asked frantically before she quickly looked over at Derek. "Is he drunk?" She was well aware what alcohol did to _her_. And if Mark was drunk, he might try to push her into sex tonight.

"What?" Mark asked and frowned. "No, I'm not drunk. I just had like 3 glasses or something." He explained, hoping she would believe him.

Derek and Lexie held eye contact, Lexie trying to calculate if Mark was telling the truth. With a sigh, Derek shook his head. "He's not drunk, Lexie. I promise."

Lexie held Derek's gaze for a moment, trying to detect any lie that could linger there. But she found none. And if Derek could guarantee that Mark wasn't drunk, she would believe it. Swallowing hard, she nodded and glanced back at Mark. An apologetic look on her face.

"Can we go home now?" She asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah." Mark agreed, still trying to figure out what caused this reaction from her.

"Okay." She said and nodded before glancing back at Meredith. "Thanks for tonight, Meredith. I'll see you at work tomorrow." She said and forced a small smile out before she headed for the door.

Mark looked after Lexie for a moment, still unsure to what just happened. Again she just clicked, being happy one minute, and freaked out the next. With a sigh, he glanced over to Derek and Meredith. "See you tomorrow. Bye." He said and followed Lexie out.

"Bye." Both Meredith and Derek said in unisont as they watched Mark leave.

Mark approached the car carefully. He had left it unlocked, but Lexie was still waiting outside. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she looked like she was thinking really hard, probably thinking about what she was gonna say to him.

"You okay?" He asked softly as he got closer, stopping a few steps away from her. It was a pain in the ass to not know how she would react to him.

"I'm fine." She lied and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms more around herself. She hadn't thought about it before, but now she had started to recognize different triggers. Such as when Mark touched her in a certain way, or when something happened that reminded her of _that_ night. And the scotch taste definitely was a big reminder and a huge trigger.

"You're not fine." Mark stated in a firm, but yet soft tone of voice. "Please talk to me, Lexie. Because you just did that thing again. The thing where you're fine one minute, and then it's like someone is flipping a coin and you're totally freaked out."

"I'm sorry." Lexie whispered and squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the memories to leave her alone.

"Don't be sorry, just tell me what's wrong." It was tearing Mark apart when she was like this. He felt so useless. All he wanted to do was embrace her in a tight hug, but he didn't trust that she would accept that.

"It's just…" Lexie sighed heavily and then forced herself to look up at him. "The scotch taste. It's… That's what both Wilson and I drank that night. And the taste it… It does things to my head."

Here it was again, another detail that Mark didn't know about. A detail he thought was necessary to mention in order for him to be able to help her get through this. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that." Mark said and swallowed the lump in his throat. If he had known this, he would have ordered something else tonight.

Silence fell between them. Mark didn't know what to do to comfort her, and Lexie did everything in her power not to break down in tears. They were both struggling with their own things, and it was tearing both of them apart. After a moment, Mark took a deep breath and broke the silence first.

"I have an idea." He said and waited for Lexie to make eye contact with him before he continued. "Let's go home, turn on a movie, get some popcorn. And then just enjoy each other until we fall asleep. We'll deal with issues later."

Lexie cracked a smile despite herself and nodded. It was a great idea, and frankly, it wasn't that late yet. Ending the night in Mark's arms would be perfect. "I would love that."

"Good." He said and nodded, still unsure of what to do.

"I can drive back home." Lexie offered.

"If you want to." Mark agreed and fished his keys out of his pocket. With a nod, he walked over and handed them to her.

Lexie watched him as he got closer, trying to calculate his next move. When he just stopped and reached his arm out, she glanced down to his hand and then took the keys from him.

"You better be careful, that car cost more than the apartment." He teased with a small smirk.

Lexie just nodded, picking up on his joke. She watched him turn and walk towards the other side of the car when something clicked inside of her. Without thinking about it, her feet guided her towards him. "Mark, wait." She said. Once he stopped and turned around, she wrapped her arms around his neck, embracing him in a tight hug. She let out a breath and closed her eyes as his arms wrapped around her waist. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Lex." Mark whispered against her neck.

She kept her arms wrapped around him for a moment longer before slowly pulling away to meet his eyes. "Let's go home." She said and offered him a small smile before turning back and climbing into the driver seat.

Mark sighed and smiled to himself before climbing into the passenger seat, suddenly eager to get home and finish the day with Lexie Grey in his arms.


	21. Chapter 21

**Good news! I found a way to update my stories anyway! :D So you can just ignore my AN (I deleted it already so.) Thank you for your patience anyway. I know I haven't updated in almost two months, and I apologize for it. A lot has been going on!  
** **And just real quick, meeting Eric Dane was awesome and unexptected! He is extremely nice and sweet. And he also recognized me! How insane is that? He was in Stockholm to promote season 3 of The Last Ship. If you want more details, feel free to send me a message! :D**

 **Now, this story. I have so many plans you can't even imagine! We are far away from done. A lot is gonna happen before we reach the end. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I do. I really love to write these scene in which there is just Lexie and Mark. I love to get inside their heads and write about what they're thinking and their feelings. Hope I give them justice.  
** **Don't forget to leave a review. You know they make my days!**

* * *

Lexie laid comfortably in Mark's arms as they laid in bed and watched the movie that was on one of the movie channels. _You've got mail_ was a movie Lexie hadn't seen before, but Mark had assured her that it was well worth seeing, so who was she to question him?

And the movie had been really good. Well written, good actors, a nice plot. Everything you would want in a movie. It reminded her that love could appear out of nowhere in any way possible. Kind of like her and Mark's love.

They had been silent all the way back from Derek and Meredith's. One of the reasons Lexie had offered to drive was to focus on the driving, and thus avoid the uncomfortable conversation she sensed that Mark was gonna start. She knew Mark wanted to talk, and she knew that she would have to, but a part of her wasn't ready yet. And that made her try to analyze the reason. The conclusion she made was that she didn't want to bother Mark with any more of her problems. He had enough to deal with already, aside from his own problems from Africa. Which, she'd reminded herself, she knew almost nothing about. He was just as silent as she was.

Once they got back home, Lexie had made popcorn, and Mark had turned the TV on to find a good movie they could watch. The agreement had been to eat popcorn and watch a movie, _then_ they would talk.

And now, here they were. Laying comfortably in bed together, eating popcorn and watching the end credits.

"I don't want this movie to end," Lexie mumbled softly and snuggled up closer to Mark, sighing heavily as she swallowed.

"That good of a movie, huh?" Mark asked with a smirk and gently nudged his girlfriend with his elbow.

"Well, yeah…" Lexie began and closed her eyes as she sighed again. "But also because I know that once the movie is officially over, you're gonna want to talk."

Her words made Mark sigh. Yes, he wanted to talk. He wanted _them_ to talk. He wanted Lexie to open up more to him and tell him about what exactly happened that night with Wilson. All so he could help her the right way. Because right now, he felt useless. He felt like all he did was screw things up and make things worse for her. And he couldn't help her if he didn't know how to do it. "What's so bad about talking?"

"I just don't undersand why you want details," Lexie mumbled and prayed that she could get Mark to change his mind.

"And I don't understand why you won't give me details," Mark stated, fighting to not let the anger show itself.

"Because you- you don't _need_ them!" _You don't need to know how disgusting I am for actually letting someone else have sex with me._ "I told you what happened, you don't need the details to understand what happened. You know it already." The annoyance was raising inside of her, she knew it shouldn't, but it did.

"Do I, though?" Mark asked harshly. He couldn't help it any longer. This was clearly turning into a fight, and they both would have to accept it. "Do I know what happened?" With a frustrated sigh, he gently moved Lexie away from him so he could get out of the bed. Once he was on his feet, he started pacing, forcing himself to calm down before he exploded. He didn't need Lexie to feel worse tonight.

"Yes, you do." Lexie stated and sat up in bed, watching him pace in front of her and trying to convince herself that this would turn out okay. "I told you what happened that night. You don't need details."

"Yes, I do!" Mark couldn't help it when he raised his voice and the words came out as an outburst. Stopping the pacing, he sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I do need details, Lex. Because I can't help you otherwise." Mark would be lying to himself if he said that this didn't trigger his memories of the attack. Dr. Kimberly Williams trusted him, she felt safe in his presence. And then she died. Basically on his watch. And he was sick of not being able to help. To not being there when someone needed him. With a heavy sigh, he decided to just let everything out. "I met a woman in Africa."

Lexie was taken aback by his sudden change of topic. And the statement made her frown. "You met a woman?" She questioned and couldn't help the jealousy.

"Yeah." Mark confirmed and nodded before looking over at his girlfriend on the bed as he leaned against the closet. "Kimberly. A cardio surgeon from Liverpool. Quick-thinking, smart, good with patients, extraordinary surgeon-"

"Are you gonna tell me how you slept with this woman?" Lexie asked and couldn't help but sound harsh.

"No! I'm gonna tell you how she died!" Mark said, raising his voice again. For Lexie to think that he would have been cheating on her with Kim actually angered him. Clearly, they were having communication problems at the moment.

Mark's outburst made Lexie _almost_ flinch. She had pushed a button, she realized. Clearly he had some triggers too. She slightly nodded, silently telling him to go on.

Mark watched Lexie for a moment before he took a breath and prepared to tell her more about _his_ horrible incident. "The morning of the attack, Kim and I were outside on a break. We'd had a lot of traumas coming in and we finally got a few minutes to just breathe. We just stood there, enjoying the silence, and then she told me how safe she felt in my presence. That when me and Derek arrived, she felt like everything would be okay. She was so sure that if something happened, I would be there to protect her." He got silent for a moment as he shifted his gaze from Lexie to the wall on the other side of the room. The memories washed over him like a wave and he needed a break before he continued. "Not long after that, another round of traumas arrived. And the next time I saw her… She was lying on the ground. Dead."

Lexie watched her boyfriend carefully as he told her everything. And for the first time she saw the real vulnerability in Mark's eyes. The way his devastation showed for not being able to help his friend when she needed him the most. And the guilt he must be feeling. It gave Lexie a more clear picture. And now she realized why he was so obsessed with helping _her_. "There wasn't anything you could have done, Mark." Her words were barely audible, but she knew he heard.

"I could have kept a better eye on her." Mark muttered, counting in his mind how many different ways he could have saved her. If he was stubborn enough, there were now 10 different ways.

"You had patients." Lexie argued, knowing deep down that this was useless, he would never accept that it wasn't his fault. But she had to try.

"Doesn't matter."

"We can't save them all, Mark. You know that." Lexie's voice was soft as she tried to convince him.

"But I should have been able to save _her_!" Mark cried out. The guilt was eating him from the inside. And the guilt towards Lexie wasn't helping. "She trusted me! She counted on me! She expected me to be there to help her! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel that I wasn't able to help her!? Or _you_ for that matter!"

Lexie wasn't prepared for the topic to change that fast, again. What happened to her clearly triggered his memories about Kim. Despite his outburst, Lexie remained calm. "You weren't even here, Mark." Slowly, she moved the blanket from her legs and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, getting closer to Mark. "There was nothing you could have done."

"You didn't even trust me enough to tell me!" Mark raised his voice even more, unable to hold himself back. "You didn't think I would believe you! And I have no idea what I did to deserve that, but it makes me feel like shit that my own girlfriend doesn't trust me enough to tell me when something's wrong!"

Lexie was surprised that she remained calm, despite Mark's outburst. He had kept things inside for a long time, and it was time to get them out. She made a mental note to bring Mark to an appointment sooner than she'd first decided.

She stayed silent and just let Mark calm down and breathe. There was no need for another screaming fight, they could solve this like adults. And frankly, it wasn't even a fight. It was just two people telling stories.

Mark closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair as he forced himself to calm down. Lexie didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to get yelled at. But Mark was far from perfect, and he was only human. There was only so much a person could handle. After taking a few deep breaths and silently counting to 10, he opened his eyes and looked at Lexie with a calmer look on his face. "Do you understand now, Lexie?" He asked softly. "Do you understand why I need you to give me details? Because I wasn't here. I wasn't here to help you when you needed me the most. And if I knew more about what happened, it would be easier for me to help you _now_."

Lexie looked down at her lap as Mark spoke. Yes, she knew now exactly why he was so desperate to know details. And she did understand. But that didn't make it easier for _her_ to just tell him.

"Lexie…" Mark whispered softly and slowly walked over to the bed and crouched down in front of her, gently placing his hands on her knees. "Lexie, please… Talk to me."

"Do you know how scared I've been since that night?" Lexie whispered, refusing to lift her gaze and meet his eyes.

"No…" That was the point, he knew nothing.

"He threatened me, Mark. He… He said that if I told anyone, _you_ would pay for the consequences."

"He wouldn't dare touch me." Mark said, a confident tone in his voice.

"But still." Lexie finally lifted her eyes to meet his, a desperate look in her eyes. "I couldn't take the risk. I won't ever let you get hurt because of me. Threat or not."

"It's okay now. You did tell me, and he knows that I know. And he still hasn't done anything to me." Mark slowly rubbed her knees in a soothing manor as he spoke. "Tell me."

Lexie lost herself in his ocean blue eyes for a moment. The eyes she was so in love with, the eyes that could make her legs give out and butterflies release in her stomach in an instant. Maybe telling him what he wanted to know would make them both feel better, even though she would have to force herself.

"We were drinking scotch." Lexie began and once again lowered her gaze to her hands. She could feel Mark's eyes steady on her. "I'm not really sure why I ordered it in the first place, I've tasted it before and hated it. But I was so worried about you so… I guess the scotch would make me feel closer to you somehow." She swallowed the forming lump in her throat before she took a breath. "He made me feel a little better and, for a moment, actually forgetting why I was drinking in the first place. We talked and had a nice time."

Hearing the real beginning of this horrible story made Mark more understanding about everything. But still. Drinking with a woman was one thing, raping her was completely different.

"He… He followed me home and came with me upstairs. And, as you know, he… He kissed me, and I was _stupid enough_ to kiss him back. I tried to tell him no, but he kept going anyway. And eventually he…" Lexie had to take a breath before she continued. "He moved his hands inside my shirt. His hands roamed everywhere, but he mainly focused on my…" Instead of using the word, she lifted her hand up, indicating to her breasts. Still without looking at him, she ran a hand over her face and sighed. "He also said that he understood what you like about me."

It was first now Mark remembered why he deep down _didn't_ want to know any of this. Anger. Hearing how this man had treated Lexie made him wanna scream and kill someone.

"Then he… He started to undress me. Or at least what he managed to undress. And I… I tried so hard to push him away, to fight his grip, to just get away. But I couldn't. He was too strong. After a moment, he started dragging me to the bedroom. I never understood why he wanted to do it in a bed." A frown covered Lexie's face as she thought about it. There were a lot of questions she had about this, a lot she didn't understand. "As I said before, he didn't punch me or anything. But he grabbed my wrists really hard, and then got a grip on my sides and pushed me down on the bed. He had me pinned down with one hand as he removed the rest of my clothes." Lexie hadn't noticed before, but now she realized that tears were streaming down her cheeks. When she felt Mark's thumb on her cheek, wiping a tear away, she slowly looked up to meet his eyes. "I tried so hard…" She whispered.

"I know, Lex." Mark whispered as he kept caressing her cheek with his thumb. "I believe you."

"I couldn't look at him. I couldn't watch it happen, so I closed my eyes and prayed for him to quicken his motions so he would leave me alone." She swallowed hard and held Mark's gaze for a moment before she looked down again. "Afterwards, he got dressed, threatened me to hurt you if I told anyone, and then he left."

Mark stayed silent as he watched her closely. A part of him was thankful that she _finally_ opened up to him and told him details, as where another part of him wanted to bang his head in the wall and hope for a memory loss. "Okay, so I know the scotch triggered you. But have I recently touched you in ways that reminded you of him?" He couldn't remember touching her boobs since he got back, but there were a million different ways to touch a woman sensually.

Mark's question made her look up at him again. The problem wasn't _how_ Mark had touched her, it was the fact that he _did_ touch her. Both Mark and Wilson had touched her in similar ways as her first boyfriend in high school, so that was something she would have to learn to live with. "No… Not particularly."

"Okay," Mark said softly and nodded. "No scotch and no touching your boobs, then. I can live with that." He found himself smirking, despite himself.

"What? No!" Lexie frowned. "You- that's not… That drink is connected to you. And Derek. You shouldn't have to give up your favorite alcoholic beverage just because I have a bad memory of it! It's _one_ bad memory against _hundreds_ of amazing memories, I won't let that one bad memory win." Lexie didn't realize how desperate she sounded, but she just didn't want Mark to give that up because of her. And as far as the boob touching goes, she wouldn't give that up for the world.

"Lexie, relax," Mark said softly and allowed his hand to cup her cheek entirely. "One step at a time, then."

"One step at a time." Lexie nodded. That sounded like a plan she could work by. Mark's hand on her cheek made her relax and she found herself closing her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I miss your touch." She whispered softly, savoring the feeling of his hand on her skin.

"I'm touching you right now," Mark said and chuckled.

"No, I mean your _touch,_ " she whispered, keeping her eyes closed. " _Your_ touch," she added, allowing herself to briefly remember all the good memories she had of him touching her in ways only Mark could master. Touches she now found unimaginable, but were slowly starting to miss. Taking a deep breath, she slowly opened her eyes, immediately finding his ocean blue ones.

Mark didn't know whether to be sad or happy about what she just told him. Either way, he offered her a small smile before speaking. "Well, like I said; one step at a time."

"Yeah," Lexie replied in a whisper and nodded slightly. Dr. Jones had basically _assured_ her that she would one day feel comfortable enough to be intimate with Mark again, and she started hoping that it would happen soon. Because despite her insecurities and trust issues, she missed him. But she had promised herself not to rush it, for both her and Mark's sake. "Do you feel better now?" She finally asked.

"A bit, yeah." Mark confessed and slowly removed his hand from her cheek, placing it back on her knee. "Although I'm now more angry than ever at Wilson and the situation, it feels like I have a more clear image of the events. And I now know that I should be more cautious about my actions before acting." He paused for a moment. "What about you?"

Lexie had to admit, opening up more to him actually made her feel a little better. And now she also knew more about Mark's issues from Africa. "Yeah, I do," she said and nodded.

"Good." His hand was now back on her cheek, gently rubbing her soft skin with his thumb. "I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier."

"It's okay, I understand," Lexie replied in a soft tone. She would always forgive him for those things. He had taken a lot of crap from her on multiple occasions already. "Where do we go from here?" Lexie asked softly as she stared into his eyes and leaned into his touch.

Mark had to think about that one for a moment. Where would they go from here? He had finally gotten her to open up more, and he didn't want to screw that up. Because he believed that Lexie would feel better if she talked about what happened, no matter how painful it might be. And same goes for him. A sigh left him as he reached his conclusion. "I guess we'll start talking more. Make sure we really communicate. No secrets, no expecting the other to read minds or anything."

"Communicate," Lexie repeated and nodded. She could do that. Open up to him was easier than she thought.

They went silent for a moment as they held each others' gaze, feeling relieved that they had been talking more about their issues. Mark figured he'd finally found a way to help Lexie; think before acting. But mostly; _communicate_. He would have to remind her that he still loved her and that he still believed her every word about what happened. And in return, he would have to open up about Africa. Because forcing her to talk and not talking himself wasn't fair.

"So this Kimberly doctor," Lexie began, breaking the silence and offering Mark a small smile. "You think I would have gotten along with her?"

"Oh, yeah," Mark agreed with a smile as he finally got up from his crouched position and moved to sit beside Lexie on the bed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "She had a bit of a crush on me, but I'm sure you would've been great friends."

"Was she hot?" Lexie asked in a curious tone and glanced up at Mark. She wasn't jealous, just sincerely curious to whom this woman was.

Mark chuckled nervously and awkwardly tugged his earlobe as he searched for the best answer. "Ehm… If I put it this way; If I didn't have you waiting for me back home, I would have made a move on her." It was a sincere answer, but the smirk was planted on his face nevertheless.

Lexie didn't give a verbal response. She just simply sighed in pleasure and rested her head on his shoulder. She felt a rush of relief at his words. Ever since that night with Wilson, she feared that Mark wouldn't look at her the same way again. That he would simply leave her. But he loved her. Mark actually had the chance to cheat on her, and she had given him a chance, but he didn't take it.

And that thought brought a smile to her face.

"What do you say," Mark began softly, gently taking her small hand in his larger one. "Shall we call it a day and get some sleep?" He felt much better now when both of them had opened up more. The mission for tonight was officially completed.

"Yeah, I'd like that." Lexie replied and found herself closing her eyes already.

Mark chuckled softly when he noticed her closed eye lids while looking at their reflection in the mirror in front of them. "I meant get some proper sleep, laying down in the bed. Not sleeping on me." His words contained a joking tone, but he was serious nonetheless.

"Hmm, I know." Lexie replied, her eyes still closed and not intention to move.

"Come on." Mark said softly and gently wrapped his arms around Lexie, successfully moving her away from him and laying her down on the bed. He felt his heart clench in a good way when he saw the smile on her face. He knew she was already drifting off to sleep, but she was consious enough to know what was happening.

He watched Lexie get more comfortable on her side as he pulled the covers over her small frame. With a small smile on his face, he gently leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "I love you," he whispered against her ear.

"Love you too..." Lexie mumbled, half asleep, half awake.

Mark gently moved so he was laying down on his side of the bed. Once he was comfortable, he rolled over so he was facing her back. With a small sigh, he scooted closer and placed his arm over her waist. He allowed himself to snuggle up close to her and inhale her wonderful scent. The scent he just couldn't get enough of.

A few minutes later, even Mark Sloan let himself drift off to the wonderful lull of sleep.

Today had been hard, but now he was more confident that they would be okay.

 _One step at a time_.


	22. Chapter 22

**The updates are becoming regular again. I love it! :D  
** **Thanks for all the reviews on the last one! Once again, I am so amazed by how emotionally invested you guys are! :D Thank you!  
** **I apologize for the bad ending, and I'm sorry if it feels kinda rushed. But I had to get it done.  
And next chapter will probably be a slight time jump. We need to get this story forward now. Things are coming :)  
Hope you enjoy the chapter. And as always, make sure to leave a review :)**

* * *

"No! No, don't! Get off me! No!"

Mark slowly started to wake up, in the middle of the night, to the sound of Lexie screaming her head off.

"Lexie?" He called her name tiredly as he slowly sat up and placed his hand on her arm, realizing that she was dreaming.

"Leave me alone! Don't touch me! No! Get off me!" She was twisting and turning and frantically trying to get away from whatever, or whoever, was invading her in her dream.

"Lexie, wake up. You're dreaming," Mark said softly and tried to gently shake her awake.

Mark had to get a harder grip on her when her arms came flying everywhere, almost close to punch him in the face. "Lexie," he muttered and managed to keep her hands away from him. "Lexie, wake up!" He raised is voice in hope of her waking up. "Lexie!"

With a twitch, Lexie was now suddenly up in a sitting position in the bed. Mark released her arms the minute she sat up and instead put one of his hands on her back. With a frantic look in her eyes, she looked around the room in horror, searching for whatever was invading her dream. "He-he was he-here," she stuttered out, still scanning the room.

Mark felt his heart clench as he realized whom she was talking about. _Wilson_. He slowly started rubbing her back in a soothing way, hoping it would give her some kind of comfort. "He's not here, Lexie. It's just you and me."

"No," Lexie mumbled and shook her head as she still scanned the room, waiting for Wilson to appear in her sight. "He was here, Mark. He was grabbing me, trying to push me down. And you couldn't do anything." Tears were welling up in her eyes as she finally started to vocalize what had happened in her dream.

"He's not here, I promise." Mark was at loss of what to do right now. And he couldn't help but blame himself for this. Clearly, talking about Wilson caused her to dream about him. "If he were here, I wouldn't let him get to you. You're safe now, Lex. It was just a bad dream."

"But it-" Lexie couldn't comprehend it. The dream had been so real. Every little detail about this very bedroom was flawless. Even the little brown spot on Mark's pillow after he had been eating chocolate in bed was very much present. And that messed with her head. "It was so real," she whispered softly, not even bothering to wipe her tears away.

"I know," Mark whispered and slightly moved a bit closer to her, making the motion slow and steady in case it would set her off. When she didn't react, he slowly wrapped his arm more around her. "But it's over now. He's not here. I know it freaked you out, but it wasn't real."

"Mark." His name got out in a desperate tone, along with a heartbreaking sob. In an instant, Lexie was leaning against him, desperately searching for comfort in his arms.

"I'm here, Little Grey," Mark assured her in a light tone, praying that the use of her nickname would get her to really believe him. He wrapped both his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. At this point, he realized that he was actually getting used to this. Her crying against him, and he desperately trying to comfort her.

And that fact was slowly starting to piss him off.

A soft sigh left him when he felt Lexie's arms wrap around his waist, wrapping him in a death grip. She was still really hurting and that saddened him. "It's okay. You're safe with me, Lex, I promise. I won't let anyone hurt you again."

"I'm sorry," Lexie whispered through her tears. His shirt was probably soaking in her tears by now. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"Shh, stop it," Mark replied in a whisper as his grip on her got tighter. She was a mess. That was a fact. But frankly, it wasn't a burden for him. He loved her, and he would always do anything he could to comfort her.

He slowly started rubbing her back again, keeping the motion up for a short moment to distract her as he then started to lay them both back down in the bed. Either she was okay with it, or she didn't realize it, because she didn't do anything to protest or stop it.

As she kept her death grip on him and continued to soak his shirt in tears, he managed to get a grip on the covers and pull them up around them. Her sobs kept echoing in the small room, and there was nothing he could do about it but wait it out.

"Shh, it's okay," he whispered and started rubbing her back once again. "It's okay, he's not here. He can't hurt you. And I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here." He paused for a moment and cursed this situation when Lexie once again let out a heartbreaking sob. "Let's try to get back to sleep."

"But wh-what- what if- if-" Lexie started shaking at the thought of going back to sleep.

"We'll deal with it then," Mark decided for her. "I will be here, Lex. I'm not going anywhere."

"Pro- promise?" Lexie asked and pulled away slightly to look at him.

"I promise," Mark assured and met her eyes. He held her gaze as he slowly wiped away her tears with his thumb. "Go back to sleep," he whispered.

With a ragged breath, Lexie made a small nod and went back to bury her face in Mark's chest. She was trying her best to choke back her sobs so Mark wouldn't be disturbed. She hated herself again. Now things had been taken to the next level, now she was ruining Mark's sleep. At that moment, she decided to find comfort in focusing on Mark. Focusing on the steady heartbeat under his chest and his breathing.

Mark planted a kiss on her forehead and kept rubbing her back in a circular way as he was waiting for her to fall asleep. Hopefully without any nightmares this time.

—

A few hours later, Mark was up and ready to go into work. It was earlier than he really had to, but he was preparing a mission. A mission he didn't need to involve Lexie in more than necessary.

He had snuck out of bed without her noticing. Thankfully, she hadn't seemed to dream any more bad dreams. So when he'd managed to move away from her without her waking up, he'd let out a sigh of relief and started getting ready as quiet as he possibly could manage.

After buttoning up his shirt, he stopped in front of the bed and just stared at Lexie's sleeping form. The way she looked so calm in her sleep sent some comfort to Mark's system. It were such rare moments where he got to look at her like this, and her just being calm. A sigh escaped him as he took a few steps closer to the bed and crouched down in front of her.

"Lex," he mumbled softly as he ran a finger over her face.

The finger on her face made her frown and slowly start to wake up. Once her eyes were open and she got a clear view, she offered her boyfriend a small smile. "Hey. What time is it?"

"Almost 7," Mark replied softly. "I… I got called in for an emergency. So I'm gonna leave now. Think you'll be okay being alone for a couple of hours?" He _hated_ lying to Lexie, but she didn't need to know the truth. Not right now anyway.

"But…" Lexie was still groggy from sleep and needed an extra second to take everything in. "Wait, just give me a few minutes to get dressed and we can-"

"No, Lex," Mark said softly and placed his hand on her arm to keep her from getting up. "I just wanted to wake you up to tell you I'm leaving. Get some more sleep and I'll see you at work in a few hours."

Lexie didn't like the idea of getting back to sleep alone. What if Wilson would invade her dreams again and Mark wasn't there for her when she finally woke up? Of course she didn't have to get back to sleep, she could just get up and take her time with getting ready and have breakfast.

"You gonna be okay?" Mark asked once again and caressed her cheek with his thumb.

"Yeah," Lexie lied and nodded.

"Okay," Mark offered her a small smile. "I'll see you at work." And with that, he leaned down to plant a soft kiss on her lips before he got to his feet. After grabbing his jacket, he left the bedroom and headed for the front door. He needed to get out fast before he changed his mind and climbed back into bed with his girlfriend.

He gently closed the door behind him and made sure to lock it before heading down the hallway towards the elevator. He hated himself for this, but he tried to convince himself that he would tell Lexie later. He just needed to do this first.

The short walk from his apartment to the hospital didn't take more than 5 minutes. It was times like this when he would smile to himself and feel proud about getting a place so close to his work. Quick and easy if he ever got called in for an emergency.

When he walked through the double doors and entered the hospital, he was greeted by the everyday sound he was used to by now. The busy hallways were filled with nurses and doctors talking about both work stuff and private stuff. Like it always had been.

Mark prayed that he wouldn't meet anyone he knew as he stepped onto one of the elevators and pushed the button for the floor of his destination. Thankfully, the elevator was empty and he hoped it wouldn't stop on the way to pick up more people. Lucky for him, he only had to ride 3 floors. So it should be quick and painless.

Just a few seconds later, the elevator still empty, Mark Sloan reached the floor he would get off on. _Psych ward_. Once he got off the elevator, he realized that he had never been on this floor. He had never had any reason to. Until now.

This floor was less crowded and less busy than the bottom floor and surgical floor, but he guessed that was to be expected. The psych ward had opening and closing hours, the ER and surgery didn't.

A few steps in, he found a board of which rooms the doctors were sitting in. And it didn't take him long to find Dr. Jones on the board. With quick, determined steps, he put on a face saying that he belonged here. Further down the hallway, he found the room to Dr. Jones' office, and he briefly saw a mental image of Lexie sitting in this very room, expressing her feelings about what happened to her. Shaking his head briefly, he didn't even bother to knock on the door before he just burst in.

Mark took a step inside and glared at the woman in front of him before he, literally, slammed the door shut behind him.

"You're Lexie Grey's therapist?" he asked angrily, glaring into the woman's eyes.

"Yes," Dr. Jones replied calmly and stood up from her chair.

"Then you are not doing a very good job," Mark muttered and crossed his arms over his chest. "You are supposed to make her process the crap she's going through. She's supposed to be healing. Instead, I wake up to her screaming because of a nightmare. She is not opening up to me, she's keeping things inside. And there are triggers all over the place. I can't say or do _anything_ without her blowing up like a freaking bomb! What the hell kind of doctor are you!?" His voice rose more and more with each word.

Dr. Jones went silent as she just looked at the man in front of her. "You're Mark," she stated calmly.

Mark was taken aback by her sudden change of topic. And the way she was talking so calmly made him relax a bit. "Yeah," he said in a more calm tone. He wasn't wearing his lab coat with his name on it, so there must be another reason she knew his name.

 _Lexie talked about me?_

"Lexie spoke warmly of you," Dr. Jones stated with a small smile. Technically, it was against the law to tell him what Lexie had been saying. But she figured it wouldn't hurt to let him know she was talking about him.

"She- she did?" Mark hadn't expected that.

"She did," Dr. Jones confirmed. "She told me about how much she loves you and trusts you. And that you are helping her through this the best you can."

"Well," Mark started and ran a hand over his face. "She's not really supposed to be talking about _me_."

"Sure she is," Jones said. "She's supposed to talk about everything. Anything her heart desires. And you are one of those things." She paused for a moment as she remembered the surgeon's earlier outburst. "And as far as your question goes, I think I'm doing a good job. Lexie had her first session yesterday, and a lot of stuff came up. Stuff, I assume, she hasn't vocalized to anyone yet. So she _is_ processing, and she _is_ healing. But you have to remember that it takes time. You might have to live with a few nightmares, or mood swings, or even crying and anger. I know it's tough, but I'm sure you both will handle this. And hopefully, she will talk about these nightmares and you next time." The smile was wide on her face as she explained everything to Mark. It was nice that he cared so deeply.

Mark nodded, slowly taking in everything this doctor had just told him. Maybe he had been wrong, maybe Lexie just needs more time. And he had to be even more patient. With a sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair and nodded. "Okay, thank you," he said and turned towards the door.

"Anytime," Dr. Jones called after him before he left the room and closed the door behind him.

As Mark walked down the hallway, a new train of thoughts was filling his head. More time. Of course Lexie needed more time. Recovering from this hell wasn't gonna be done in a blink of an eye. It would take time.

With a heavy sigh, he stepped onto the elevator. He pressed the button for the surgical floor and then leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes for a few seconds until he reached his destination.

Maybe attacking Lexie's doctor like that was wrong, but in a way, he was glad he did that. He needed to hear that Lexie was indeed processing. And hearing that she even talked about him made him all warm inside. _She loves me, and she trusts me,_ he thought to himself as the smallest of smiles appeared.

The bell dinged on the elevator, causing him to open his eyes and realize he was now on the surgical floor. Gathering himself, he took a breath and walked out of the elevator towards the surgical wing.

—

This day was gonna be hell.

Lexie had already made that conclusion hours ago when she woke up after that nightmare. She could still remember the look on Mark's face. She knew it was getting harder and harder for him to handle things. And that was her own fault.

And then her already bad day continued when she woke up a few hours later, to Mark suddenly having to go in to work early. Mark never had to unless it was a real emergency, and that kind of emergency would usually be an all hands on deck-situation. But since she wasn't called in, it could only mean that he was lying.

And as if this morning wasn't bad enough, she was on Derek's service. And among Derek's patients, a young girl who had been raped and almost beaten to death, was on the list of post-ops she had to check on.

So here she was, standing outside Jamie Cooper's room. Her chart tight against Lexie's chest as she just stared at the woman inside the doors.

"Hey," Mark said, coming up towards his girlfriend with a curious look on his face. What was Lexie doing outside Jamie Cooper's room?

"Hey," Lexie replied, keeping her eyes on the patient's room, refusing to look up at Mark.

Mark quickly followed Lexie's gaze and looked at the woman in the room for a moment before turning back to Lexie. He hadn't talked to her at all about this case. He'd figured it was best to leave her _out of it_. "Who put you on this case?"

Lexie sighed. "No one put me on the case. I'm on Derek's service today so his patients are my patients."

Mark tensed. He had hoped that Lexie would be kept out of this.

"I saw your name on the chart," Lexie continued in a annoyed tone of voice. "Is there a reason you never told me about it?" She knew the reason, but she needed it to stop. Mark didn't have to treat her like this anymore.

"Lexie…"

"And what was the big emergency? I checked and there was none. None you were involved with, anyway. Wanna explain why you are lying to me?" Lexie just spit the words out like fire.

Mark opened his mouth and prepared to form a response when Derek came up towards the couple.

"Dr. Sloan, Dr. Grey," Derek greeted with a smile as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Dr. Shepherd," Lexie greeted back with a smile, while Mark just scoffed quietly and looked at the young woman in the room.

"You ready to go in and see our patient?" Derek asked and glanced between the pair. He received a nod from Lexie. "Great. Let's go," he added and lead the other two surgeons into the room.

Lexie hated this. And she hated to admit it, but she now understood why Mark had kept her from this case. He was just trying to protect her. Still, that didn't give him any reason to lie to her. She noticed how the young woman tensed at the sight of the male doctors walking into her room. Lexie understood the feeling.

"Dr. Grey," Derek said calmly, glancing towards her and silently telling her to present the case. He didn't notice Mark crossing his arms in annoyance behind him.

Lexie cleared her throat and checked the chart one last time. "Jamie Cooper, 29. Severe bruns on arms and upper body along with a small brain bleed after being pushed to the floor. Both injuries have been treated and we are now waiting for them to heal completely. Gynecology have treated her as well." Lexie let out a breath after finishing. Her very small 'injuries' after her attack were basically a massage in comparison to this woman.

"How are you feeling, ms. Cooper?" Derek asked softly as he took a small step forward.

"I… I'm a little uncomfortable, to be honest," Jamie Cooper replied in a shaky voice, looking up at Lexie for support.

"Hey," Lexie said and made a move to sit down on the bed, taking Jamie's small hand in her own. "It's okay. Dr. Sloan and Dr. Shepherd are nice guys. And they're doctors. They won't hurt you, I assure you. And we have the guard outside your door the whole time. No one can hurt you."

"Are-are you sure?"

"Yes," Lexie assured. She paused for a moment before talking again. "Is there anyone we can call for you? Your mom, sister, friend?" Offering support to Jamie made Lexie realized how important support really was in this situation.

"No," Jamie replied quickly as she shook her head. "No, I don't want anyone to know about this. My mom loved him, and I'm not sure she even would believe me. I just…" Jamie trailed off and looked down, trying her best to not give in to her tears.

"Look at me," Lexie pressed. Once Jamie looked up at her, she took a breath before speaking. "I understand what you're going through. And believe me, you _want_ someone by your side. Someone you love, someone you trust. And when you tell this person the truth, they will believe you. I promise." Lexie could feel Mark's eyes burning holes in her skull as she spoke. And she prayed that he believed that she was thankful for his help.

Jamie sniffed as she looked up at the young doctor's eyes. "O-okay. But can we just postpone it a little bit? I'm not ready yet."

"Sure," Lexie said and offered her a small smile.

"Jamie," Derek said softly, waiting for the young woman to meet his eyes before he spoke. "I just wanted to tell you that the surgery on your brain went smoothly. You will fully recover."

"And I will have to keep treating your burns and you might need a skin graft, but I assure you that you will be fine," Mark added softly.

"Okay," Jamie said and nodded before glancing back to Lexie. "Thank you for staying with me."

"You're welcome," Lexie replied with a smile. "I will make sure that only female nurses will treat you. And if I'm not available, one of them will always be present when Dr. Shepherd or Dr. Sloan are treating you."

"Thank you."

"Okay, all done here," Derek said with a smile and turned towards the door.

Both Mark and Lexie said goodbye to the patient before following Derek back outside. Lexie made sure to avoid eye contact with Mark as they left. And she was annoyed when she felt his presence behind her as she approached the counter with Derek.

"Dr. Grey, what further treatment do you recommend?" Derek asked.

"I recommend that we keep an eye on her recovery considering the brain surgery and let Dr. Sloan keep treating her burns. And perhaps a psych consult."

"Excellent. Page psych as soon as possible and keep an eye on her recovery," Derek said and glanced up at Mark, noticing the look on his face. He cleared his throat and looked down at his watch. "Well, I'm gonna find Meredith for a coffee. I'll page you if anything happens," he said and glanced towards Lexie before leaving.

Lexie sighed in annoyance. In an attempt to get rid of Mark, she placed the chart on the counter and started writing in it. She knew it wouldn't work, but a girl could dream.

"Lexie-"

"Don't talk to me," Lexie muttered and kept writing.

"Why are you mad at me?" Mark asked softly, hoping that this wouldn't turn into a fight.

"Because you are _constantly_ lying to me," Lexie said and turned around to face him. "You say one thing and then you do another. You say that you love me and want to support me, but then you lie to me about an emergency just so you can get out of the apartment when things get rough. I'm sorry I woke you up in the middle of the night for nothing, but I can't help it."

Mark glared at her for a moment, trying to get hold of the anger that rose when she accused him of these things. With a frustrated sigh, he gently grabbed her elbow and lead her towards an on call room. "Come with me." He didn't give her any time to react or protest before he had moved them into a room and closed the door behind them. He turned towards Lexie and grabbed her hand before leading her towards the bed. He sat down and let her stand in front of him, her hand gently clutched in his.

"Listen to me," he began and looked into her eyes. "I am not lying to you, at least not about that. I do love you, and I do support you. But I would never run because things get rough. I love you, and we are gonna get through this together."

"So why did you _suddenly_ have to leave for a fake emergency?" Lexie questioned in an annoyed tone.

Mark sighed. He had hoped she wouldn't notice. "Okay, fine. I lied about that. But _not_ to get away from you." He looked down at their hands. "I… I yelled at your therapist."

"You _what_!?" Lexie asked in a raised voice.

"I'm sorry. But after that nightmare, I just thought you weren't processing. I thought she wasn't helping you. But she explained things to me, and now I understand that this will take time." Mark's voice pleaded with apology as he looked up into Lexie's eyes.

"Mark, you can't do that. You can't just attack my therapist just because _you_ aren't pleased with _my_ progress. And you just rejected our agreement from last night. We agreed that we had to communicate more, and then you run off and do this. You have to talk to me, Mark." Lexie looked at him sadly. A part of her was happy that he cared about her so much, as where another part was pissed and ready to punch him.

"I'm sorry," Mark said in a soft whisper as he stood up, keeping his eyes locked on hers the whole time.

Lexie sighed. "I know, I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"For making this hard for you." Lexie looked down at their hands.

"Hey, you're not," Mark said firmly and brought his hand to her cheek, causing her to look up. "I love you, and we are gonna get through this together." He offered her a small smile and leaned down to kiss her softly. "I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you when we get home. Ice cream and a foot rub."

Lexie laughed. If that was his way to apologize, she would make sure to act offended more often. "Yeah, that will do," she said and nodded.

Mark smirked as he moved from her lips to her cheek, right by her jaw line. He planted soft kisses, no intentions, on her skin and placed his hands on the small of her back. "I'm sorry I tried to keep you away from the patient."

Lexie sighed. She was angry about it at first, but now she understood. "It's okay. I understand why you did it."

"Are you okay?" he asked and pulled away.

"Yeah," she said and looked into his eyes.

Their peace was interrupted when Mark's pager started beeping, causing him to groan and let go of her. "Damn, sorry," he muttered as he checked the page.

Lexie smiled at him and placed her hand on his arm. "Go. I have to find Derek anyway. He said something about a big aneurysm so it'll probably be all day. I'll see you at home."

Mark sighed. He didn't want to leave her. "You forgive me, right?"

"Yes," Lexie said and touched his cheek. "Just make sure that you talk to me next time. You don't have to lie to me. And honestly, I felt kinda betrayed." The last part had been nagging her all morning, finally she got it out.

"Oh, Lex," Mark whispered and embraced her in a hug.

"It's fine. Now go, save lives," she said and patted him on the shoulder before pulling away, offering him a smile as she did so.

Mark looked into her eyes for a moment, allowing himself to get lost in her eyes. They were extremely beautiful. With a sigh, he leaned down to kiss her one last time. "I'll see you at home."

And with that, Mark turned towards the door, quickly opened it and left.

Lexie took a breath. This wasn't holding anymore. They needed to talk more than they already did.

Maybe she would have to bring him to an appointment _soon_.


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey guys. I'm sorry my updates are taking so long. Life just comes in the way sometimes. I always get inspired to update whenever _ButterflyWhisperer_ updates her Slexie story. It's like she gives me that extra kick I need to finally get it done.  
** **So here's the next chapter. Something that popped into my head and I wanted it to be a part of the story. We are slowly getting to a new point in the story and things will take some turns. I'm excited to write that and I hope you are excited to read it! :D  
** **Enjoy this chapter. And as always, leave a review before you close the tab :)**

* * *

"So, Lexie," Dr. Jones started as she sat down in the chair opposite her patient, her writing pad in her lap and a pen in her hand, ready to start writing. "How's your week been?"

Lexie took a breath to gather herself as she still worked on feeling comfortable in this chair. This was still new to her and she hadn't quite gotten used to opening up to a person like this. It was completely different than opening up to Mark. She thought about Dr. Jones' question for a moment. The past few days since her last session had been up and down. Spending time with Meredith had been nice, and opening up to Mark made her feel better. But then there was the nightmares. She had hoped that it would be just that one when she woke Mark up in the middle of the night. But they didn't stop. Mostly every night since that night, she had been dreaming about Wilson coming back.

"I…" Lexie didn't really know how to put it. So many thoughts were running through her head and she had a hard time separating them and vocalizing just one thought at a time. She let out a frustrated sigh before looking up at her therapist. "I've been having nightmares."

"Okay," Jones said calmly, remembering how her patient's boyfriend told her about this as he accused her of not helping. "What are they about?"

Lexie took another breath. Just remembering those dreams made her nauseous. "They're about Wilson. It's not one recurring dream, but the theme is the same," Lexie said and swallowed the forming lump in her throat.

"Tell me," Jones said softly.

Lexie sighed. She knew she would have to vocalize this eventually. "Well… Wilson comes back. The dreams often take place in our apartment. So Wilson comes back, and he doesn't say a word or do anything else before he attacks me. Like, really attacks me. He wrestle me down to the ground, or the bed, rip off my clothes and just…" She cut herself off and lowered her gaze down to the floor. The dream felt so real and she had a hard time separating them from the reality.

"Where is Mark in the dreams?" Jones asked calmly.

Lexie felt her heart clench at the question. In every dream, Mark were in the same place. "He's there. He's watching everything and he wants to help me. But he can't. So he just stands there, watching me get attacked. I always look at him with a look that's begging him to do something, but he can't."

"Why can't he do anything?"

Lexie sighed and put a lock of hair behind her ear. "I don't know. He just can't."

Dr. Jones gave Lexie a look of sympathy. These dreams were clearly reflecting the reality that Lexie went through. And this was her brain's cruel way of dealing with it. "What happens when you wake up?"

That question made Lexie look up again and meet her counselor's eyes. This made her realize that waking up was the worst part. Because that's when Mark got involved. "I… Well, in the beginning, when I had the first nightmare, I apparently screamed my head off. I woke Mark up in the process and he had to fight really hard to wake me up. But after that, I seem to wake up on my own without any screaming."

"What happens then?" Jones asked. "Do you wake Mark up?"

Lexie tensed. She maybe should be doing just that. But she didn't. "No," she said and looked down at her hands. "I don't want cause him any harm or lack of sleep, so I get out of the bed and go into another room to calm down. Then I just get back to bed and fall asleep again. Well, those nights when I _can_ get back to sleep."

"So Mark doesn't know that you've been having more nightmares? Aside from that first one?" Jones was surprised. She had expected Lexie to talk to Mark about this.

"No," Lexie said and shook her head. It pained her that she kept this from him. After all, they had agreed to talk to each other when something was wrong. "He takes such good care of me during the day. He's always there, ready to listen and just give me a hug if I need one. He looks after me and makes sure I'm okay. That must be exhausting for him so I just want him to rest during the night and get some sleep."

"Don't you think he would want to know?" Jones asked softly with a small smile on her face. "Like you just said; he looks after you and wants to make sure you're okay. That doesn't stop for him just because it's night time. And honestly, would he really care if he loses sleep? Wouldn't he want you to be okay?"

Lexie looked up at her therapist again. She hated to admit it, but Jones was totally right. Mark would want to know. Deep down, Lexie knew that. But she couldn't shake the feeling that she was making things hard for him. She took a moment before taking a breath. "So you think I should tell him?"

Jones just looked at Lexie for a moment, tilted her head a bit and then offered her a smile. "I think you should tell him."

Lexie nodded and looked down at her hands again. It felt good to vocalize her thoughts and getting a fair response with a reasonable amount of advice. With a sigh, she moved a lock of hair behind her ear before looking up at her therapist again. "I apologize for Mark. He told me that he came in here and yelled at you. I wish he wouldn't have done that but… Well, he… He's Mark. And he cares. But, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Jones said and nodded before scribbling in her writing pad. "To be honest, that wasn't the first time a patient's relative yells at me for not doing my job correctly. Sometimes, it's hard for the closest one to accept that emotional healing will take time. And I understand them, even I would want my patient's to heal and be okay after only one session." She took a breath and looked up at Lexie before offering her a small smile. "But we all have to accept that it's not that easy."

Lexie looked deeply into her therapist's eyes and nodded. "Thank you," she said softly. When Mark told her about what he did, she was so pissed. He had no right to just bash in here and yell at the person who was helping her get through this. But she was thankful that Dr. Jones was okay with it.

"So," Jones began and put her writing pad down. "Have you thought about when you would like to bring Mark to an appointment? I know that was a concern of yours."

Lexie nodded. She hadn't considered it being anytime soon, but after their talk a few nights ago and then Mark yelling at Dr. Jones, she had decided to bring him sooner. "Yeah, uhm… Maybe already next session? If it works for him with his schedule."

Jones nodded. "That sounds good. I'll write it down and make the session a bit longer. And if he can't show up, we will have more time to talk."

"Okay. Thank you," Lexie said and offered her a small smile.

"It's been a good session, Lexie," Jones said and smiled back at her. "I think we should keep the sessions at once a week for a while, and then we can discuss our options and you can feel for yourself what you think is comfortable. But now, we look towards next session and hopefully Mark can come as well." Jones wrote some things down in her pad and then stood up.

Lexie followed her lead and stood up herself before nodding and smiling again. "Yes, that sounds good. Thank you," she said before she headed for the door. A new train of thoughts entering her head as she left the room. This was the part where she felt that she was processing. The moment she left Dr. Jones' office, feeling ten pounds lighter, but at the same time, new thoughts were entering her head.

She walked rather slowly down the hallway towards the elevator, her hands shoved into her lab coat pockets, and thought about what she was gonna say to Mark. How was he gonna react to her nightmares? That she had kept information from him _again_? Was he getting tired of her? Would he want to come to a session with her?

So many thoughts and questions were running through her head right now. She decided to take a breath as she reached the elevator. As Mark once said; one step at a time. The mission now was to get back to the surgical floor and get back to work. And when she gets the chance, she's gonna talk to Mark.

When the elevator doors opened, she noticed there was only one person inside. She offered the stranger a kind smile before getting inside and pushing the button for the surgical floor. As she turned around, she took another breath and just glanced around the small area as the elevator started to move. There were a lot of posters on the walls, medical posters. Sort of commercials about diseases and symptoms. Posters of a woman holding a pregnancy test with the big text _Are you late? You could be pregnant._

But there was one other poster that caught Lexie's attention. It was similar to the pregnancy poster, but this one was about sexually transmitted diseases. How simple pain when urinating could be chlamydia.

She hadn't experienced any symptoms that could be caused by an STD, but she hadn't gotten tested either. She simply hadn't thought about it. When Wilson raped her, he didn't use a condom. Thanks to the birth control pills, she was sure she wouldn't get pregnant. But those pills wouldn't protect her from STDs. A sudden rush of panic shot through her body. It was a very small risk that she had been infected with something, but you could never be too sure.

Especially when you were having an intimate relationship with someone. Or at least planning to get more intimate.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the bell dinged, indicating that she had reached her destination. With quick steps, her feet were guiding her out of the elevator and towards the surgical wing. Before telling Mark about her nightmares and the session, she had to determine whether or not she had an STD.

So she was incredibly relieved when she found Meredith by the nurses station.

"Meredith," Lexie said in a desperate tone as she approached her sister, sounding more terrified than intended.

Meredith looked up at her sister and immediately got concerned. "Hey, Lexie. What's wrong?"

"I need your help with something," Lexie said in a rushed voice and quickly glanced around to make sure no one was around to hear.

"Okay," Meredith said and nodded as she reached out to touch her sister's arm.

"Come with me," Lexie said and grabbed Meredith's hand before leading her into an exam room. Once inside, she made sure to close all the blinds and lock the door so no one could come in.

"Lexie, what's going on?"

Lexie didn't answer. When she'd secured the room, she walked over to the little drawer with supplies and pulled out a needle and a vacutainer. She held it securely in her hand as she also grabbed a pad and disinfectant before turning towards her sister.

"Lexie," Meredith said in a concerned voice as she glanced down to the items in Lexie's hands.

"I need you to draw my blood," Lexie ordered and walked over to the small bed. She put the supplies down on the small tray beside the bed and then sat down.

Meredith didn't respond. She knew better than to try and question why Lexie was doing something. With a small nod, she got a pair of gloves and sat down on the chair opposite the bed her sister occupied. While Lexie was removing her lab coat, Meredith prepared the needle and the disinfectant pad.

Lexie watched quietly as Meredith worked to clean the area of her arm where she was gonna insert the needle. Lexie had never been afraid of needles or doctors. In fact, she had always been fascinated by them. She was thankful that Meredith didn't ask any questions as she, as gently as she could, inserted the needle into Lexie's arm, and successfully got some blood into the vacutainer.

They sat in silence as Lexie's blood ran into the small container. Once this little tube was sent to the lab and results were done, Lexie would be able to breathe again. Whether the situation, she would handle it. She just needed to know.

It didn't take long for the blood to fill up the tube. Meredith sighed softly and gently removed the needle from Lexie's arm and put a small pad over the wound to keep pressure. Once Meredith had put everything away and held the tube securely in her hand, she looked at her little sister with soft eyes. "I assume we are running this as a Jane Doe. But I do need to know what we are testing your blood for."

"Sexually transmitted diseases," Lexie replied sternly. "Every one that exists. I need to know if Wilson transmitted something."

Meredith nodded slowly and decided not to ask about it any further. "Okay," she said as she removed her gloves and stood up. "I'll take this to the lab and tell them to get it done as soon as possible," she added as she headed for the door. Before she put her hand on the door knob, she turned back to her sister again. "And just to be clear; just STD's. Nothing else," she said, half statement, half question. She wanted Lexie to really consider what exactly she wanted to know.

Lexie paused as she looked into her sister's eyes. She understood what she was asking. And that other test wouldn't be necessary. "Yeah. Just STD's," she said determined and nodded.

"Okay," Meredith said and offered her sister a small smile. "I'll come find you when it's done." And with that, she turned around and left the room.

Lexie took a deep breath to calm herself down. Just to keep herself hiding for a moment longer, she took her time with putting on a band-aid and putting on her lab coat. It would take at least a few hours to get the results so she might as well make herself useful while waiting.

When she left the small exam room, she was immediately greeted with the sound of the busy hallway. Just that sound made her relax a little bit. She gathered herself and straightened her lab coat before walking out into the hallway.

As she rounded a corner, she felt someone touch her shoulder, causing her to stop and look up to see who it was.

"Hey," Mark greeted with a warm smile.

"Hi," Lexie replied nervously, not quite ready to see him yet.

"What are you up to?" Mark asked as they started walking again, subconsciously touching her back.

"Oh, uhm, nothing, really," Lexie said in a nervous tone, trying to come up with something.

"Great," Mark said happily.

"How so?" Lexie asked, starting to get really nervous.

"I have a septoplasty in 20 minutes and I want you to scrub in with me," Mark said with a big smile on his face. It had been a while since they did a surgery together and it was about time to change that.

A part of Lexie had expected something else to come out of Mark's mouth. But she was thankful that it was a surgery he was talking about. Maybe that could ease the tension for her before she asked him to come to an appointment, and then tell him about the nightmares. Overall, it sounded like a good idea. "Yeah, sure. That sounds like fun," she replied in a happy tone and offered him a smile.

"Great. I was just on my way to scrub in," he said and gently grabbed her elbow before leading her towards the scrub room. He didn't know why, but he felt a rush of happiness just by walking with her. There was something about operating with Lexie that made his stomach do flip flops. He knew that she would become an excellent surgeon one day. Hopefully with plastics as a specialty.

Lexie felt comfortable in Mark's presence during the short walk towards the scrub room. A lot of thoughts were still running through her head, but walking beside him helped her relax. One step at a time, she had promised herself. Mark wanted to help her, so she got more and more sure that he wouldn't turn an appointment down. After all, he had asked himself if she wanted him with her.

These other things, though. The nightmares and a possible STD. Those were harder to handle. But she would tell him. At some point. Maybe not during the surgery, but possibly after. She decided to hold the STD thing until she had the results in her hands.

Lexie was pulled out of her thought when the reached the scrub room, and Mark held the door open for her. With a thankful smile, she entered the room and removed her lab coat. As she did, she remembered the small bandaid on her arm. A bandaid on a place that an experienced surgeon would immediately recognize. She glanced to Mark to make sure he wasn't looking, before she quickly pulled the bandaid off.

"How was the session?" Mark asked gently as he put his scrub cap on and tied on the scrub mask.

"It was okay," Lexie replied and casually mirrored Mark's motions. "Second session, we talked a lot and… It was good." Lexie paused for a moment to tie her mask correctly before she glanced towards her boyfriend. "We were hoping you would join us for the next session. Would that be okay with you?"

Mark tensed for a short while and slowly met her eyes. He hadn't expected that to happen this soon. "Yeah, sure," he said and nodded. "Just let me know the day and time and I'll be there."

Lexie nodded. "I will. Thank you." She offered him a small smile before she started to scrub in.

Mark kept his eyes on Lexie for a short moment. Admiring her beauty and confidence. He imagined her as an attending for a brief moment. With a slight chuckle, he turned his head again and started to scrub in himself.

—

After the surgery, Mark and Lexie walked down the hallway towards the nurses station to update the patient's chart. Lexie was on a high.

"That was incredible!" Lexie exclaimed happily and almost jumped in excitement.

"You did a good job in there," Mark said and smiled at his girlfriend. Sometimes she reminded him of a small child.

"Oh my God! Thank you for showing me that trick!" Lexie was basically floating on clouds right now. When Mark asked her to scrub in with him, she hadn't expected to basically perform the surgery by herself.

"You're very welcome, Dr. Grey," Mark said and smiled proudly at her as they approached the counter. With the smile still on his face, he grabbed a pen and started writing in the chart. Lexie stood close beside him, and he would be lying if he said it didn't make him feel all warm inside.

"You are amazing," Lexie said and smile at him, along with a look that reminded him of the heart eyes-emoji.

"So are you," Mark replied as he kept writing in the chart.

"No, Mark," Lexie said in a more serious tone. She was clearly not talking about the surgery anymore. "I mean it. You are amazing."

Mark glanced over at her. The look on her face made his heart skip a beat. "Thank you. So are you," he replied before turning back to the writing.

"Lexie," Meredith called, breaking the couple's moment and catching Lexie's attention.

When Lexie met her sister's eyes, all the feeling of amazingness just washed away and it felt like she was back in reality. She noticed a piece of paper in Meredith's hands, and she knew it was her own test results. She turned to Mark and excused herself before walking towards her sister.

"I have the test results you ordered for mrs. Niles," Meredith said, using a fake patient to cover up for Lexie.

"And?" Lexie asked, suddenly getting anxious and worried.

"Everything was negative. No signs of anything bad. She's completely clean," Meredith said.

Lexie let out a sigh of relief. She had never been so relieved about a test result in her life. "Okay, that's great. Thank you," Lexie said and reached her hand out of the paper.

"I wasn't completely sure if you wanted that other test or not, so I ordered it anyway," Meredith added in a serious tone, causing Lexie's hand to pause and her eyes widen.

"And?" Lexie asked, this time more anxious and more worried. She hadn't asked for _that_ test, but now she was worried.

"That was also negative," Meredith added and offered her sister small, reassuring smile.

Lexie thought she was gonna pass out. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Now she was 100% certain that she didn't have a sexual transmitted decease, and she also wasn't pregnant. These were good news. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at her sister as she received the piece of paper. "Thank you, Meredith," she said before turning around and headed back to Mark. Her thoughts racing a million miles an hour

"Everything okay?" Mark asked casually when Lexie was back beside him.

"Yeah," Lexie breathed and nodded before looking at him. "Can I borrow you for a second?" she asked and glanced towards an empty exam room.

"Sure," Mark replied and put his pen in his lab coat pocket and then walked with Lexie to the exam room, curious to what Lexie wanted.

They entered the room together and Lexie closed the door behind them. She took a moment to make sure no one would hear them before she turned to Mark. "Mark, I have to tell you something."

"Okay," Mark said calmly and sat down on the bed. "What is it?"

Lexie froze for a minute. She briefly wondered if this was the same feeling women got when they had to tell their husband they were pregnant. She quickly dismissed the thought and took a breath. Her news now were the complete opposite. She wasn't pregnant, and she wasn't sick. These were good news.

Mark watched his girlfriend cautiously and got slightly concerned when she clearly couldn't get the words out. It got him thinking it had something to do with her chat with Meredith. He frowned slightly and swallowed. "Is this about what you and Meredith talked about?"

Lexie swallowed hard and nodded slowly. She was amazed by how easily Mark could see through her and almost read her like a book. Lowering her gaze slightly, she took a breath and decided to just get it out. "On my way back from the session, I… I saw one of those posters about STD's. And it got me thinking… Wilson he… he didn't use a condom." For some reason, she stopped talking and looked back at Mark again, searching courage to keep talking.

Mark eyed her carefully. "Have you had any symptoms?" he asked softly, trying to help her get to her point.

"No," Lexie replied quickly and shook her head. "No symptoms. But I wanted to make sure. So I asked Meredith to draw my blood and test it for everything. In-including pregnancy." She could feel her hands shaking, so she fisted her hands and shoved them into her pockets.

"And?" Mark asked, slightly worried that something might be wrong.

Lexie almost managed a small smile as her eyes filled with tears. "Nothing," she whispered. "Everything was negative. I'm clean."

Mark couldn't help it when that really big sigh of relief escaped his lips. For a short moment, he had doubted everything he knew about pregnancy and STD's and their symptoms. But all that washed away now. He ran a hand over his face and stood up. "That's great, Lex," he said and offered her a smile as he walked closer to her.

"Yeah," she whispered through her tears and nodded.

Mark noticed the tears in her eyes and acted on reflex. Without a second thought, he closed the gap between them and embraced Lexie in a warm hug. He sighed against her neck when he felt her arms wrap around his waist and her face buried in the crook of his neck. He closed his eyes as he felt her hot breath on his skin. "That's amazing, Lexie. I'm so glad you're okay."

Lexie didn't respond. She was doing everything to control her crying and maintain calm. Being this close to Mark actually help. The comfort he sent her just by hugging her and whispering comforting words into her ear really helped. She couldn't help it when her fingers gripped his scrub shirt. wrapping him up in a tight grip. After taking a breath, she decided to let all the secrets out. "There's something else," she whispered and squeezed her eyes shut.

"What?" he asked and tightened the grip on her.

"I…" Lexie had to pause and swallow again. "I've been having nightmares. More nightmares since that first night," she whispered and pressed her face harder against his shoulder. "I just didn't want to disturb your sleep so I handled it myself. I'm sorry."

Mark went silent for a moment, taking a minute to comprehend everything she just told him. After a moment, a small smile formed on his face as he realized something. "Hm."

"What?" Lexie whispered.

"That can explain why I wake up to the feeling of you snuggling up so close to my back and wrapping your arm around me," he said and chuckled slightly, trying not to sound mocking.

Lexie tensed and pulled away from him. Glaring into his eyes, she didn't know whether to be relieved or angry. "You- you're awake when…?"

"Lex, it's not a bad thing," Mark assured her and smirked. "I love to wake up to that feeling. I always fall right back asleep just as fast." He took a step closer and cupped her cheek with his hand. "But next time, tell me about the nightmares, okay? I want to help. Don't worry about me."

Lexie looked deeply into his eyes and could really feel the love radiating from them. For a short moment, she completely forgot what she was even worried about. Mark Sloan was perfect. She could tell him anything and he would just solve it. How did she find such a perfect guy?

"I love you," Mark said and offered her a warm smile. "Don't ever forget that."

Lexie sighed in relief and nodded before wrapping her arms around his waist again, desperate to feel his body tight against hers. She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against his chest. A wave of relief washed over her. She had told him these two things, and she had asked him to come to a session. And it felt _good_. Things were heading in the right direction and she felt so proud of herself. A small smile formed on her face when she felt Mark stroke her hair in a soothing way. This was her home, Mark's safe arms. In his arms, nothing bad could happen. In Mark's arms, there were no nightmares and no deceases. Everything was just warm and safe.

"I love you, too."


	24. Chapter 24

**I deeply apologize for the delay of this chapter. I've been stuck on it for a while but I finally got it done. But as a result, it's slightly shorter than other chapters. Hope you enjoy it anyway :) And the next chapter will feature a major turning point for Mark and Lexie. I'm hoping to get it up soon :)  
** **And the next chapter of _Somewhere only we know_ , will be up shortly. Stay tuned :)  
** **And as always, don't forget to leave a review :)**

* * *

It was a strange change.

During the last sessions, Lexie had been sitting by herself opposite Dr. Jones, and talked about her feelings and what happened with Wilson.

But this time, Mark was sitting in a chair beside her. It felt strange, yet very good.

Dr. Jones took her time and watched the couple before her. They both seemed to adjust to their seats and getting comfortable being here, so she decided not to push them. After a moment, she leaned back in her own chair and cleared her throat.

"So, Mark, Lexie. How does it feel being here?" Jones asked with a small smile.

Mark and Lexie both glanced towards each other, as if they were asking the other for some sort of confirmation. They both felt a rush of discomfort, so they broke eye contact just as fast. Lexie sighed and looked down at her hands.

"Have you had any discussions about this at home?" Jones asked softly, realizing she probably pushed a button. "Anything? About what to expect, perhaps?"

She was met with silence. This wasn't unusual, though. So she decided on a different approach.

"Mark," she called his name softly and waited for him to meet her eyes before continuing. "You've been in Africa. Is that correct?"

"Yes," Mark replied, relieved that Jones decided to break the ice.

"What was that like?" Jones was genuinely curious about that trip, and she also knew it was a good way to get them to start talking.

"It was… different. It was quite the experience," Mark said and felt the words just roll out if him as if it had been practiced. "It makes you see things in a new perspective. And you really miss some important medical supplies. Like just a regular clamp."

"Sounds interesting," Jones said honestly and smiled. "How did it feel leaving Lexie behind?"

Mark tensed. He sensed that this question would be asked at some point, but it still made his heart clench. He felt Lexie's eyes steady on him, but he wouldn't let that affect him. "Well… I felt guilty. I still do. I know I was leaving for a good cause, but I was leaving my girlfriend behind. And as much as I wanted to take her with me, it was way too dangerous. So in that sense, it felt good to leave her behind. I know she would be-" Mark cut himself off when he realized what he was gonna say. _Safe_. But she hadn't been safe.

Jones knew she had pushed a button, but this was the reason they both were here. They needed to talk about this. "How do you feel about what happened to Lexie?"

"Guilty," Mark replied in a harsh tone as soon as the question was finished. "If I hadn't left, we wouldn't be sitting here right now."

"Mark." Lexie finally found her voice. She couldn't bare to listen to this anymore. A part of her knew that Mark still blamed himself for what happened. And she would keep fighting him on that. Because it wasn't his fault.

"Lexie," Jones interrupted and glanced to the brunette. "How do you feel about this?"

Lexie sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "There's no use in saying anything. We can argue all day about whether this was Mark's fault or not. And I don't have the energy for that argument."

"Good," Mark muttered and leaned back in his seat.

Jones smiled softly at the pair. "Mark, you realize this really wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was," Mark muttered.

"No it wasn't," Jones argued. "Look at it this way. For it to have been your fault, you would've probably asked Wilson to do this to Lexie. But you didn't. And frankly, something like this could've happened anyway. It can happen when you least expect it. Even if you are home, Lexie statistically could get attacked in the parking lot of this very hospital. That wouldn't have been your fault either. The only person who is at fault for this is Dr. Wilson."

"See," Lexie said and reached her hand out to touch Mark's. She knew he was struggling with this, and hopefully he would accept now that it wasn't his fault. "It wasn't your fault."

Mark sighed. Deep down, he knew that Lexie and Dr. Jones were right. But deeper down, he would probably always take the blame for what happened to Lexie. But he knew how Lexie felt about him blaming himself so he decided to just go with it this time. He would have to keep his blaming to himself.

Lexie kept her eyes on Mark for a moment. She couldn't believe that he still took the blame for what happened to her. When would he understand? A memory of that night flashed before her eyes and she made a face of discomfort. Mark wasn't the one to blame for this. She could've fought harder.

"Lexie," Jones said softly, slowly catching Lexie's attention. "Anything you wanna share with us?"

Lexie took a moment and swallowed the lump in her throat. After a quick glance towards a curious Mark, she decided to let it out. "I could've fought harder. I could've fought harder to get Wilson off me." She glanced down at her hands and sighed. "I don't think I really told you this, Mark. But when… when Wilson was… doing it, I… all the energy just washed away. So I realized that I couldn't do anything but just… _let_ him do what he wanted. So I… I let him."

"No, you didn't," Mark said in a low tone. "You didn't _let_ him do anything. Like you said, the energy washed away. You probably went into shock. You couldn't fight anymore. Things that I've done to you in bed, _that_ you let me do. You didn't let him do that to you."

"Mark is right," Jones added and nodded in agreement. "It's not unusual that the victim just simply can't do anything to defend themselves."

Silence fell between them for a moment. Lexie worked silently to understand what she was being told. She had expected Mark to react harder, maybe get up and walk out after slamming the door shut as hard as he could.

"So," Jones said softly, breaking the silence. "Can we agree that none of you did anything wrong in order for this to happen? That the person to blame is Dr. Wilson?"

Both Mark and Lexie slowly nodded, both trying to understand this. It wasn't easy, but they were willing to try.

Lexie took a moment and exhaled loudly before resting her head in her hands. She understood that everything was Wilson's fault and that she had nothing to be blamed for. Except maybe for lying to Mark. That was a guilt she probably never would be free from. She kept telling him how sorry she was, and he kept forgiving her. But there was a nagging feeling inside of her that just wouldn't go away.

"What are you thinking about, Lexie?" Dr. Jones asked, she had been watching the younger woman and sensed that something was wrong.

Lexie stayed silent for a moment longer, letting the thoughts gather in her head before vocalizing everything. "I lied to Mark," she began softly and lifted her head slightly, keeping her gaze on a part of the rug on the floor. "I don't really understand why. Maybe it was because Wilson threatened me to hurt you, but that isn't really a reason. I should've told you. Callie knew, she could've helped me telling you. Or Meredith. I should've told Meredith."

"Lexie," Mark interrupted her softly and placed his hand on her shoulder. She didn't meet his eyes. "I can't stress this enough; it's okay. You just wanted to protect me, and I appreciate that. And don't forget that you did eventually tell me."

"Yeah, after you overheard us talking and believing that I cheated on you," Lexie said and finally lifted her eyes to meet her boyfriend's. She would never forget the look on Mark's face that night when he came home from Callie's and believed that she had been cheating with Wilson. Now when she thought about it closer, she actually felt offended that he could ever think that she would be unfaithful to him.

Mark stared into her eyes, and they weren't late to expose her feelings and thoughts. He swallowed a growing lump in his throat before looking down at his hands. "I'm sorry about that. It was wrong of me to think that you would ever cheat on me. I know you wouldn't do that. I should've asked you before jumping to conclusions."

Lexie nodded her head slowly, silently telling him that he was forgiven. She made a mental not to keep telling him how sorry she is, though. Just like she would tell him every day how much she loves him. But there was something else on her mind. "If you ever feel like you need… time… away from me. Just for a night or whatever. Just tell me, okay? I can stay with Meredith or get a hotel room or something. Just let me know and I'll leave." For a moment, she wasn't sure if she still meant leaving for a night or leaving forever.

"Lexie, stop that," Mark said firmly, reaching his hand out to take hers. "I've been sleeping without you for 3 months and I don't ever wanna do that again. I'm not letting you go."

Lexie managed a small smile and nodded. She was still serious about her offer, though. But if he didn't want it, she wouldn't push it.

"Lexie," Dr. Jones called softly, getting both of their attentions. "How would you like things to work out for you two? What do you need from Mark in order to get better?"

Lexie swallowed and took a moment to really think about the answer. "I… I think I would just want him to listen. And be there. Sort of like he already is, but… I don't know. And I want us to stop talking about who's to blame for all this or what we could have done to avoid it. No one blames anyone."

Jones nodded. "That sounds like a plan. And you Mark?"

Mark cleared his throat and glanced between the women before answering. "Well, the same I guess. And maybe try to just stop thinking about everything, do something fun and start living again like before." He turned quiet for a moment before looking down at his hands. "Maybe start planning the wedding."

Lexie's face lit up like someone just turned the light on. With a warm smile on her face, she grabbed Mark's hand in her smaller one and waited for him to meet her eyes. "I'd like that."

Silence fell between everyone in the room for a short moment. Both Lexie and Mark felt relief that they were finally talking and working on fixing their problems. The wedding had been waited for since before Mark left, and finally that would happen. Dr. Jones watched the couple in front of her and smile softly at them. "Lexie, I would like to ask you something. How do you see your future with Mark?"

Lexie glanced over at the counselor and took a moment to really consider the answer. It was a good question. "I believe we have a good future ahead of us," she stated simply.

"And what about a more intimate relationship with Mark? I know that's been a concern for you." Jones quickly shot a glance towards Mark who looked uncomfortable and lowered his gaze to his hands.

Lexie was taken aback by the sudden change of topic. She had been thinking about that a lot, but not enough to vocalize her thoughts to Mark. The idea of him having sex with someone else, just to let him get laid, still appeared in her head at times. It was a sensitive topic that maybe should be discussed. "Uhm, I…" How was she going to explain it? That she wanted him more than anything, but she was too damn scared to let him anywhere close to her like that. She sighed heavily. "It's complicated. I love Mark, and I want everything to be like it was before. But just… Like, the thought of that intimate contact… It scares me. But as unthinkable as it feels, I crave it at the same time. I just don't know how to get past it."

"I stand by what I said, Lex," Mark said softly and looked at her. "I don't care if I'm never getting laid again. I simply don't care about that. All I want is to be with you."

"I know that. You've said that. And I believe you. But being intimate is such a big and important part of a romantic relationship. And I do want to have that kind of relationship with you."

"You want him at the same time as it freaks you out," Jones added, simply putting a description to Lexie's feelings. "And that's normal. After being sexually abused, you kinda don't want to just get back there like nothing happened. Like after a car accident, you don't just get back into the car and drive. It takes time. And it should take time."

"So what can we do- what can _I_ do?" Lexie asked softly, refusing to look at Mark.

"How do you feel about spooning?" Jones replied softly.

Lexie was about to answer quickly but decided to think for a moment. She remembered it being hard at first to even spoon with Mark. Even then he got too close. But in the last couple of weeks, she realized they had grown closer and closer. She didn't feel suffocated anymore when Mark wrapped his arm around her and pulled her as close as he could. She didn't freeze when she felt his hot breath against her neck. "I can do that. It was uncomfortable at first, but not anymore."

"Then that's a step in the right direction," Jones said with a smile. "Don't you see? You're slowly getting back to the kind of relationship you want with your boyfriend. You don't have to rush it, let it come naturally. The want, the desire. Let it all happen when it does."

Lexie just nodded slowly, letting everything enter her head.

"How do you feel about it, Mark?" Jones asked softly and turned to the male in the room.

Mark wasn't prepared to receive any questions about this. Clearing his throat, he fumbled a little with his hands and swallowed before beginning to form a response. "Like I said, I don't really care. Sex or no sex, I just want to be with Lexie. But I'll be ready whenever she's ready. I would never force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. So I guess it's just easier to wait until she's ready."

"You really mean that?" Lexie asked in a soft whisper, finally lifting her head to look at him. Once Mark lifted his eyes to hers, she could see the honesty in them.

"Of course I mean that," he said as if it was obvious. He reached his hand out and gently grabbed her smaller one. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Lexie replied with a warm smile on her face.

Dr. Jones silently watched the couple for a moment. She saw a lot of good progress and she was confident that they would get through all of this together. "When was the last time you were on a date?"

Mark and Lexie looked up at the counselor with raised eyebrows. After a quick calculation, they both realized it had been a long time.

"Why?" Mark asked.

"I think you should go on a date, just the two of you. Get out, do something fun, eat a nice meal at a restaurant and just live. No talking about anything bad or the past. Just the future and the present."

Mark found himself turning his head to look at Lexie at the same time as she was looking at him. It was a good idea and it was clear that both agreed. The smile on Lexie's face made his heart skip a beat, and that was all he needed from her. "Yeah," he said and nodded as he smiled at the woman next to him he loved so much. "A date. Sounds like fun."

"I agree," Lexie said and nodded.

Smiles were offered and returned around the room. Until the moment got interrupted by Mark's beeping pager. With a groan, he excused himself before checking it.

"It's the ER," he remarked and sighed before glancing up to the women. "I'm sorry, I really have to go," he added before standing up, offering Lexie a look of apology.

"It's okay. We'll see each other later," Lexie said and smiled at him. She if anyone knew how important a page from the ER was.

"See you later," he said and smiled before turning to Dr. Jones. "Thank you. For everything. I think this was very helpful." He received a nod of agreement from Jones before he headed to the door and left. Leaving Lexie alone with her counselor.

Silence fell between the women. Dr. Jones eyed Lexie for a moment, searching her reaction before breaking the silence. "How did it feel to have Mark here?"

Lexie smiled. "It felt good. I think this was the push we needed to get things back to normal. We've already determined that we need to communicate more. And hopefully a date will help. Like a new start."

Jones nodded in agreement. It was important for a couple who had been through something rough to open time together. Just to remind themselves why they love each other and why they're even together. "So you'll make sure to go on a date?"

"I will make sure we go on a date," Lexie said and kept the smile on. Butterflies released in her stomach at the thought of properly going out with Mark. Spend some time just the two of them.

Jones nodded at her patient and wrote some things down in her pad. "How about we talk some more? We still have some time left."

"Sounds good," Lexie said and nodded before leaning back in her seat.


	25. Chapter 25

**I'm deeply sorry for the delay of this chapter. I wish I had a valid reason but I really don't. But don't worry, I don't intend to just leave these stories. And even if I did, I wouldn't leave without letting you know.  
** **Thank you for your patience, and thank you for reviewing and begging for an update. You don't understand how much I love that you are so invested and want updates.**

 **So here it is. Date night. Finally, I have to say. I think after everything Mark and Lexie have been through, they deserve a calm night just to themselves.  
** **And also, this chapter will be in two parts. So this is part 1. Part 2 isn't quite done yet, but I promise it will be up soon. So stay tuned!**

 **Enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review!**

* * *

"Lexie, you paged me?" Callie Torres asked as she entered the residents' locker room. The Latina had just finished up with a patient and received a page from Lexie. It was unusual to be paged to the locker rooms, so she could only assume that what Lexie wanted was private.

"I need your help," Lexie said in a hurried voice as she rolled on some deodorant under her arms and then pulled out two dresses from her bag. "Which one?" She asked as she held the two pieces of clothing up in Callie's eye sight. "I don't wanna be too slutty but not too boring either."

Callie felt a warm feeling swirling around in the pit of her stomach as she watched the nervous Lexie being anxious about her date with Mark. She understood the feeling, and she knew how special this night was for the two of them. Mark had texted her the night of their therapy session last week and expressed his nervousness about this date. He'd acted like a teenager. With a warm sigh, Callie took a step closer and carefully eyed the two dresses. "I like that one," she said and pointed at the dark blue one.

Lexie frowned slightly and glanced down to both dresses she was holding up. She liked both of them, but her gut didn't really like any of them at this point. They were too challenging and showed a bit too much cleavage. Under normal circumstances, that's exactly what she would've been going for, but this wasn't normal circumstances.

"What's wrong?" Callie asked when she noticed the look on Lexie's face.

"They're too challenging. I thought I would change my mind if you chose one, but it didn't help," Lexie replied sadly. So many things depended on this evening, and she wanted it to be perfect. She would do anything to get things back to normal with Mark, so the date _had_ to be perfect.

"Okay," Callie said in a calm voice and offered the brunette a small smile. "Do you have anything else?" She asked calmly and slightly glanced towards the bag Lexie had brought.

A soft sigh left Lexie's parted lips before she nodded a little. "Yeah. I brought a pair of jeans and two tops. But I'm disappointed because I really hoped I would feel confident enough for a dress."

"Dresses don't define a woman's beauty," Callie said confidently. Callie if anyone knew exactly how to be beautiful and what beauty was. Beauty was never defined by your body type, skin, weight or height. A woman's true beauty shows when she feels confident. Whether it's in a ball gown or a trash bag, you're beautiful when you _feel_ beautiful. "Let me see the tops," she said and smiled at the younger Grey.

Lexie didn't make a sound as she put the dresses down and turned to her bag. After some digging, she pulled out the pair of dark blue jeans and the two tops. One purple with details around the waist, and a black blouse with cute buttons.

"Definitely that one," Callie said quickly when she laid her eyes on the purple top. "You look amazing in purple and that fake belt is a prefect detail. Not to mention it will look gorgeous with those jeans."

Lexie glanced up at Callie for a moment before cautiously looking down to the top she was talking about. She did like it, and she remembered Mark complimenting it on multiple occasions. Maybe that top was _it_. With a small smile, she put away the other top before walking away behind the lockers and changed from her tank top to the purple top. She took her time to make sure it fit properly before walking back to Callie. The small smile on Callie's face was enough for Lexie to feel like she made the right choice. Lexie mirrored her smile and took a few steps to the mirror. She looked at herself in the reflection and watched as Callie came closer.

"What should I do with my hair?" Lexie asked and ran her fingers through her dark brown curls.

"How about a half-up do?" Callie suggested and removed a hair clip from her own hair before walking closer to Lexie. After receiving a small nod, the Latina ran her fingers through Lexie's hair for a moment before she gently pulled up half the hair and made a cute little up-do with the clip.

"Is he gonna expect things tonight?" Lexie asked in a cautious tone. The thoughts about sex had been circling in her head all day and she didn't know what to do.

Callie took a moment to fix the last details in Lexie's hair before answering her question. She would lie if she said that Mark hadn't talked to her about this evening. They hadn't discussed that subject, but Callie knew that it was lingering there in the back of his head. "He's not expecting anything. He won't touch you unless you want him to. And this night isn't even about _that_. You're supposed to have a nice time and enjoy each other. But if I can give you some advice, you know woman to woman, I'd say that whenever you feel that real desire build up, go for it. Don't push yourself."

Lexie nodded. She knew the advice Callie had to give here were helpful. That's why she turned to the ortho surgeon in the first place. Lexie trusted her. "Dr. Jones said the same thing," she commented and eyed herself in the mirror. And she had to admit, she looked beautiful.

"Just don't think about it too much. It'll happen when it happens," Callie said and offered the younger Grey a warm smile. "You look beautiful, by the way. Mark's gonna faint," she said with a chuckle.

A soft sigh left Lexie before she turned around to look into Callie's almost black eyes. "Thank you, Callie. For everything."

"Anytime," Callie replied and squeezed Lexie's shoulder. "Come on, let's not keep the man waiting. You have a date to get to," she said and let Lexie collect her belongings before leading her out of the small locker room.

—

The small restaurant was one of the cosiest Lexie had ever entered. It was a small, intimate, romantic little place that Mark had picked out especially for this evening. _Perfect for first dates and anniversaries_ , Mark had said when Lexie asked. Although this wasn't a first date, nor were they celebrating some sort of anniversary, it was a special night anyway. This date would mark a new beginning, so maybe technically it could count as a first date.

They hadn't really exchanged words on the way from the hospital, both were a bit tense about this evening and their own thoughts took over. However, despite the tension, they both felt some sort of comfort in each other's company. And they were only focusing on having a good evening. Lexie found herself smiling at the thought as she stood beside Mark by the entrance, both silently waiting for the waiter to show them to their table.

"You look nice," Mark said softly, shifting from one foot to the other and pushed his hands into his pockets. He knew Lexie felt slightly unconfident so he decided to approach it carefully.

Lexie glanced up to her boyfriend for a moment before offering him a small smile. The look on his face in the lobby of the hospital was enough to tell her that he _loved_ the way she looked. That purple top was indeed a wise choice. "Thank you. So do you," she replied and eyed him. That light grey dress shirt of his was one of her favorites. And it fitted his body _perfectly_. Mark Sloan sure knew how to dress.

"Thanks," he replied casually and smirked lightly. He kept his eyes on Lexie for a moment longer before glancing down to the floor. The thought never occurred to Mark that he would be nervous about a date. "I'm glad we're doing this," he added and took a breath before meeting her eyes.

"Me, too," Lexie replied with a smile. She sighed softly and reached out to touch his arm.

"Dr. Sloan," the male waiter interrupted softly, waiting for the doctor to give him his attention before smiling at the pair. "Your table is ready."

"Thank you," Mark replied and offered the man a smile before letting Lexie go first. They followed the waiter to the table reserved for the couple. Mark felt a rush of calm when he noticed the table was placed right by the window, slightly away from the big crowd. He was aware that Lexie was slightly uncomfortable and he wanted to do what he could to ease that for her.

They both sat down by the table and got comfortable before receiving the menus form the waiter. "Would you like to start with something to drink?" The waiter asked friendly, clutching his hands together and glancing between the couple.

The tension was back again as both Mark and Lexie realized that alcoholic beverages were offered at this point. And to be honest, it wouldn't be a date at a restaurant without at least a glass of wine. Mark froze slightly in his seat as he eyed Lexie's reaction. "Lexie, you don't have to order something if you don't want to," he said softly.

Lexie glanced up at him and noticed the honesty in his eyes. She thought about it for a moment and eyed the wine list before reaching a conclusion. "No, it's okay. Uhm… I'd like a glass of… uhm, that Italian wine, please," Lexie said and swallowed before looking up at the waiter. She watched him nod before glancing towards Mark.

Mark knew he had barely a second to decide. One glass of wine wouldn't hurt, but he was only thinking about Lexie. After a quick glance towards her, he made up his mind. "Same for me, please," he told the waiter with a friendly smile.

"Of course," the waiter replied and nodded before turning around to head back to the bar.

"And a glass of single malt scotch too, please," Lexie quickly interrupted, causing the waiter to turn around. "Uhm, for him," she added and pointed at a surprised Mark. Scotch was a huge trigger for her, and it was time to let that go.

Mark was taken aback by Lexie's request. It was just a few days ago they discussed how scotch triggered Lexie's memories for that night, and now she suddenly _wanted_ him to have it? "Lex," he said softly and slightly shook his head. "You don't have to… I don't need-"

"I know you don't _need_ it," Lexie interrupted and smiled at him. "But it's time to deal with all this. And I want you to have it. Just let me do this for you."

Mark was still uneasy and uncertain to if this was such a good idea. They had already come a long way and he didn't want anything to ruin that. However, the look on Lexie's face was so convincing and it made him actually believe her. He sighed slightly before nodding to the still waiting waiter, receiving a nod and a smile before he turned around and left to get their orders. "Thank you", he said to Lexie before looking down.

"You're welcome," Lexie replied with a smile as she moved her hand across the table to touch his, causing him to look up and meet her eyes. Every time Lexie's chocolate eyes locked with his ocean blue, something clicked and everything felt right. Like the world was circling around them and the only thing that mattered was the two of them.

"So, what are you having?" Mark asked with a smile, breaking the trance they got caught in and let go of Lexie's hand before looking at the menu.

"I'm not sure," Lexie replied and looked down at the menu as well, carefully going through the list and trying to decide what she wanted. "Salmon sounds good. Or maybe a steak."

"Yeah, I was thinking steak, too," Mark said in a thinking tone as he browsed through the pages and tried to find something he liked. "A sirloin steak will go well with the wine, too," he added and smirked proudly at his food/wine knowledge.

"I'm sure it will," Lexie replied and chuckled at her boyfriend before closing the menu, having made up her mind. As she waited, she kept her eyes on Mark and just admired him sitting opposite her. The way he looked as he kept reading the menu made butterflies release in her stomach and she found herself slightly tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth. She was reminded that he was called 'McSteamy' for a reason.

The moment was interrupted when the waiter came back with their beverages, causing Lexie to get out of her trance and Mark to finally put the menu aside. "Here you go, two glasses of _Amarone_ and one glass of single malt scotch," he announced as he placed the respective glasses on the table. "Are you ready to order?" he asked and glanced between the couple as he brought out his writing pad and a pen.

"Yes," Mark replied before quickly glancing to an agreeing Lexie. "I would like a sirloin steak with mash potatoes, please."

The waiter wrote frantically on his pad and nodded before glancing towards Lexie. "And for you?"

"I'll have the same, please," Lexie replied with a smile.

"Two sirloins coming right up," the waiter replied with a smile before gathering their menus and walked back towards the kitchen.

"You always have to copy me," Mark joked and chuckled slightly at Lexie, crossing his arms over the table and just looked at her.

"What can I say? You have as good a taste in food as you have in women," Lexie replied with a smirk as she casually corrected the positions of her silverware so they were laying more straight.

"I sure do," Mark replied with a warm, proud smile. He watched Lexie for another moment before he glanced down to the glass of scotch she had ordered for him and gave it a cautious look. He still felt uneasy drinking the beverage that he knew would set Lexie off, but he understood that she wanted to fix that issue.

"Just drink it," Lexie commented as she watched him from across the table. "Like I said, I have hundreds of amazing memories with that drink, and just one bad memory. I need the good memories to win."

Mark listened to her carefully and made sure to comprehend everything before he nodded. Memories of what the therapist had told them entered his head. They would have to move carefully and really work to get back to normal. And if Lexie wanted to reconnect the scotch to _him_ , he would have to do his part to help her. Just like they would have to do with everything else. Mark was so proud of her, she had come such a long way since he got back from Africa. She'd gone from keeping everything a secret, to working on getting things back the way they once were. And he figured this evening would be an important part of the healing process. With a soft clearing of his throat, he gently grabbed the glass and swirled the contents around for a bit before placing it to his mouth and taking a sip. The taste felt so familiar and just so _good_. A lot of good stuff had happened while drinking scotch, a few bad things too. This drink had been the reason to him staying up all night with Derek, and the same reason he'd stayed up all night _in bed_ with Lexie. He felt warmth spreading in his body as he quickly remembered some special moments.

"What's the story?" Lexie asked warmly, placing her arms on the table and leaning forward. "What's the story with you and single malt scotch?"

"I haven't told you?" Mark asked with a slight frown, he thought he'd told her everything there was to know about him. When Lexie shook her head, Mark nodded before taking another sip and placing the glass back down. "It's actually pretty funny. Derek's father loved drinking scotch, and after he died, they had a bottle that they just kept in the cabinet. I'm not sure why, but it was just wrong to pour it away. Derek and I were like 16 or something, and he had been eyeing that bottle for some time, curiosity getting the better of him. So one day we agreed that we should try it, you know, just taste it and figure out why his dad loved it so much." A soft chuckle left him at the memory, and the humor about them basically thinking it would taste like lemonade. "So, Carolyn was out with some friends, we were home alone and decided to try it. And that first sip tasted _so_ bad we both almost passed out, but we were teenagers and trying to be macho so we couldn't give up on the first try. We had also heard Carolyn say something about learning to like coffee, and that you would have to drink coffee multiple times in order to start liking it. We figured it worked the same way with scotch."

"Oh no," Lexie said with a laugh when she realized where Mark's story was heading. "You kept on drinking."

"What were we supposed to do?" Mark asked, laughing at the memory before he continued. "We hadn't really realized that the beverage contained alcohol, so we kept forcing ourselves to drink it until we liked it. However, instead of starting to like it, we got a good buzz. Carolyn was not happy when she got home and found us on the living room floor almost passed out with an almost empty bottle."

"Why would she be?" Lexie asked with a smile, enjoying Mark's story. "Two minors emptying an expensive bottle of scotch. I'd be pissed too," she said with a chuckle.

"Yeah," Mark agreed and smiled. "Anyway, we decided to wait a few years before drinking it again. On Derek's 21st birthday, his mom got him that same kind, and we _carefully_ started to learn to like it. I don't know, it just became our thing and some sort of honor to his dad."

"That's nice," Lexie commented and smiled warmly at her boyfriend before reaching out to take his hand in hers. She understood the special connection he had to Derek and his mom. Especially since Mark never really had a family of his own when he grew up.

"So yeah, that's the story," Mark finished off and chuckled at the memory before looking up at Lexie. The way she smiled at him sent a wave of warmth. He loved her so much he couldn't even describe it in words.

"It was a nice story," Lexie replied in a warm tone and a loving smile. She would probably never get tired of hearing Mark tell her stories about his life. Especially stories with Derek. Lexie knew how much Derek meant to Mark, and how much he wanted to have a family of his own someday. She figured a wedding would be a first step. "I love you, Mark," she added suddenly with a more serious face. "It's important that you know that. And that everything I've done to you these last few weeks, I've done it because I love you."

"I know." That was his only reply as he reached his hand out to touch hers across the table. He did know. He was fully aware that all the lies Lexie had told him and keeping all the secrets were because she loved him and wanted to protect him. He would lie if he said he wouldn't do the exact same for her. "I love you, too," he added with a smile. The two of them held each others' gaze for a moment and smiled at each other before the waiter came back with their meals. Releasing their hands, they both watched as the waiter placed the plates in front of them and wished them a pleasant meal.

"This better taste good now," Lexie commented with a smirk as she placed the napkin over her legs and prepared the knife and fork. "I trust you on this."

"If it doesn't, I promise I'll make it up to you," Mark replied, winking at her and chuckling lightly before he started eating.

Lexie took an extra moment to look at her boyfriend. This whole thing felt good. They were already laughing and joking, and most importantly _talking_. Not necessarily about their healing process or about what happened that night, but they were having conversations. And that made Lexie happy. Maybe a date was exactly what they needed as a push to get back to normal. As she watched Mark from across the table, she felt something in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't quite define what kind of feeling it was, it didn't feel exactly like butterflies, but something good nonetheless. Lexie found herself biting on her lower lip again, and with a slight shake of her head, she pushed the feeling aside and started eating.


	26. Chapter 26 (part 2)

**Here it is. Part 2 of Date Night. Don't think it needs further presentation :D  
** **Also, slightly M-rated. Enjoy and leave a review!**

* * *

The tension was light as Mark and Lexie entered their apartment a few hours later. The meal was delicious, the wine tasted great, and the restaurant in itself was just fantastic. Lexie had to admit that it was a perfect date, just the way she wanted it. Nothing bad had happened so far and both her and Mark were just happy at the moment.

"You were right," Lexie commented as she removed her coat hand hung it up, feeling Mark close to her as he did the same thing. "That steak was perfect with that wine. You have good taste." She turned around towards him and felt a rush of calm about the fact that he was so close. That undefined feeling in the pit of her stomach was back again. And it felt good.

"I'm always right," Mark joked and winked at her. He noticed the look on her face and could only pray that it was because of him. "And I do have _excellent_ taste," he added, remembering her comment earlier about his taste being great in both food and women. His blue orbs locked on the beautiful woman in front of him and he couldn't contain the warm smile that spread across his features.

"Thanks for dinner," she said sincerely and offered him a smile. It felt a bit cliché that the man was paying for dinner, but he insisted and she could never say no to him. "I'm glad we did this. It feels like this will really help."

"I'm glad we did this, too. I had a great time," Mark replied, eyeing her carefully and taking in every inch of her perfect being.

Lexie could just stand there and watch him. The way his eyes traveled over her made her heart twitch. And for the first time, in a _good_ way. However, she broke the trance when she remembered that it was pretty late and they both had work in the morning. She cleared her throat and reached out to touch his arm. "It's rather late. Is it okay for you if we go to bed right away?"

"Sure," Mark replied and gave her the classic Mark Sloan-smile that was sort of reserved for her. He watched her mirror his smile for a short moment before they both turned and started walking towards the bedroom together.

Lexie felt all warm inside as she walked past the part of the apartment that contained the kitchen and living room with Mark so close to her. Her eyes subconsciously glanced towards the kitchen and memories flashed before her eyes of how their past dates had ended with them naked on the kitchen floor, or wrapped in each others' arms on the couch after several rounds of sex. It felt good to remember that there was a time where they had been really happy and took things for granted, such a sex or dates. Those times had existed once, they could start existing again. The thought made Lexie smile.

It didn't take them long to enter the bedroom. Without any words, Lexie took a breath of comfort and walked over to sit down on the edge for the bed. She got comfortable in her seat and watched Mark head for the closet. She caught him smiling at her before he slowly started unbuttoning his shirt with one hand, and opened the closet door with the other. He looked preoccupied with his own thoughts and he lazily kept undo one button after the other as his mind seemed to be somewhere else completely. Mark really looked cute when he was doing that thing.

Lexie's heartbeat picked up a bit as she watched him from her place on the bed. She wasn't sure if it was because of him alone or the fact that he was slowly _undressing_. Again, she found herself tugging on her lower lip with her teeth as a small smile was forming. That warm feeling in her stomach was once again back, this time bigger than ever. She recognized it from the restaurant earlier, and later when they got home. And now. It was a feeling she hadn't felt for some time and it was so distant it almost felt unfamiliar. She knew it wasn't butterflies, and it wasn't a bad feeling. It was something else entirely, the complete opposite to bad.

It was when Mark slowly started to untuck his shirt from his pants that she _finally_ managed to identify the warm feeling in the pit of her stomach that was clearly connected to Mark Sloan.

 _Arousal._

The realization hit her with such force it almost scared her. But then again, she hadn't had intercourse in a long time so it wasn't surprising that the feeling felt so unfamiliar and distant. But it was here, rather unexpected, and she was at loss of what to do. She remembered how her counselor had explained that whenever this feeling would occur, she should act upon it. And Callie had said the same thing earlier today. It was first now she realized the real meaning behind those words form the people who cared about her; when the feeling would occur, it would mean that she's ready, without any pushing or forcing.

With her mind made up, she took a small breath and swallowed any and all insecurities before she slowly got to her feet. Mark was still preoccupied with unbuttoning his shirt and thinking about something else, he barely even acknowledged that she was also in the room. At this point, Lexie's body was acting on it's own accord. She had no say in the matter - not that she needed a say - when her feet started taking one step at a time, guiding her towards the man she loved more than anything in this world. And the whole idea felt good. It felt right.

As Lexie slowly came closer to Mark, he finally noticed her presence and focused his eyes on her. His eyebrows rose slightly when he couldn't identify the look on her face. "Hey," he said as he kept unbuttoning his shirt with both hands, enjoying Lexie being so close.

Lexie didn't reply. When she was finally close enough, she just simply brought her hands up to remove his from the buttons. When his hands were hanging by his sides, she broke the gap by leaning upwards to give him a soft kiss, her chest gently pushing against his. He tasted like scotch, but for the first time since the rape, it didn't bother her. More like the opposite, just the way it should be.

Mark was surprised when her lips connected with his. It wasn't their first kiss, but it was a different kiss compared to the others they've shared. The kiss held something with it, something he couldn't quite identify. In pure reflex, his hands moved out of Lexie's grip and gently rested on her upper arms. Not to push her away, but just to hold her some way. "Lexie," he managed in a whisper when they broke the kiss slightly to take a breath, only to be cut off when her lips returned to his, effectively silencing him. He slowly started to understand what was going on when he felt her fingers finish unbuttoning his shirt. She was quick because he barely had time to realize that fact before he felt her warm hands against his skin, gently traveling up and down in a smooth pattern. And as much as he wanted her to continue, a part of him was screaming at him to stop her. "Lexie," he repeated as he broke the kiss, his eyes trained on her face, waiting for her eyes to meet his. Instead, her eyes were locked on his upper body as her hands kept caressing his warm skin. "Lex, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Lexie replied, her hands slowly moving up towards his broad shoulders, pulling his shirt down his arms in the process The sight of his upper body sent chills down her spine towards her center. Damn, he looked good.

"Lex, we shouldn't," Mark whispered. However, Lexie didn't listen and instead moved even closer, her lips attacking the sensitive skin above his collarbone, causing his eyes to fall shut in pleasure. Despite that, he was still fully aware of what was happening. "Lexie, you've been drinking," he reminded her, desperately trying to come up with a reason she shouldn't be doing this unless she really wanted to.

"Yeah, _one_ glass of wine. I'm not drunk," she replied with a determined tone, pausing the kissing but staying close to him. She understood what he was doing, but she was intent to prove him wrong.

"Still," Mark said and finally reacted, tightening the grip on her upper arms and slightly pulling her away from him so he could look into her eyes. "Are you really sure about this?"

Lexie looked into his ocean blue eyes for a moment, first now noticing the look in them. She recognized it as insecurity, not for him but for her. "Yes," she replied simply before once again closing the gap between them and returning her lips to his, successfully pulling off his shirt in the process. "I want this, Mark," she whispered in between kisses as his shirt fell to the floor. "I _need_ this." She sighed against his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck, brining herself even closer. "Erase his touch," she whispered, slightly breaking the kiss and slowly looked up at him again. "Erase his touch with yours." Her eyes were a slight shade of desperate. "Please."

Mark was at total loss. A part of him was screaming at him to stop this madness, that this was the last thing Lexie needed. That this would be a worse idea than sleeping with his best friend's wife. But yet there was a part of him that agreed with Lexie. A part that saw how this could be necessary. A part that understood Lexie's point of view and realized how much she, in fact, needed this to happen. The two parts were fighting like animals for his approval, but the only one who could really make him decide was the brunette in front of him. With a soft sigh, his hands moved up to cup her petite face. Their eyes met and he looked deeply into those chocolate eyes he loved so much. His mind was partly made up, but Lexie had the final say. "Are you _really_ sure?" He whispered.

Lexie took a moment before she replied. It wasn't hesitation, just a moment to have her eyes convince him before she gave him a verbal response. "Yes."

He was almost convinced. At this point he realized he wouldn't be completely convinced until they were done. However, he figured that they would have to be cautious, and _he_ had to be cautious along the way, keeping an eye out for any indication that Lexie had changed her mind. Because he would hate himself if he let this happen without Lexie's full consent.

"You… You don't want to?" The tone in her voice held a slight shade of desperation. The grip she had on him loosened and she was ready to back away, embarrassment clearly showing. "If- if that's wh-what this is about, then just t-tell me and-"

Lexie was almost knocked out of the very little breath her lungs held as Mark's lips reconnected with hers. The kiss was firm, yet loving and his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, desperate to be close to her. The softest whimper left her, and it was enough for Mark to break the kiss. Resting his forehead against hers, both their breaths were heavy against each other. "I want to," he breathed, closing his eyes and trying to contain his emotions. "God, Lex, I want to. But I need _you_ to really want to."

"What do you need, a written consent?" Her tone was joking and the smallest smile found itself onto her delicate features. She rested her forearms on either side of his shoulders, her fingers lightly playing with the small hairs on his neck.

"Wouldn't hurt," he replied, eyes still closed but a small smile showing despite it. Mark had never experienced this before. He had never been insecure about sex like this, and he had never worried about the woman not wanting to do it. It surprised him. Lexie was really different than all the other women he'd ever been with.

"Well, you don't need it," Lexie said softly, her eyes trying their best to convince him that this was what she wanted. "I want this, Mark."

Mark slowly opened his eyes to lock with hers. He was getting more and more convinced, but a part of him was still hesitating. "If… if you change your mind… you'll tell me, right?"

She nodded. "Yes." Lexie didn't wait for him to react before she slowly reconnected her lips with his once again. The kiss was soft this time, but it still held so many emotions. Her arms wrapped tighter around his neck, bringing her closer to him. This was happening.

Mark responded by wrapping his arms tighter around her waist. His long forearms moved up and his fingers gently tangled into her hair, her natural curls wrapping around his fingers like a curling iron. The clip in her hair came off easily, and he recognized it immediately. _Callie's_. Mark smiled into the kiss as he casually dropped the clip on the floor and deepened the kiss slightly more, his lips gently tugging at her lower one. He was so occupied with just kissing her that he didn't notice when her hands moved down to undo his belt. The sound of metal unclipping reached his ears, but he was too deep in the moment to even react. Lexie would have to take the lead this time.

Soon his jeans came off, along with her purple top. As Mark removed it, he couldn't help but take a glance of her upper body. He hadn't seen her in just a bra in months and the sight of her made his chest tighten. She looked skinnier than the last time he saw her, almost too skinny. How had he not noticed this before? His new mission would be to get her back to her normal weight. But that was a mission for another day.

Mark moved forward and captured her lips with his own again, his hands moving to either side of her waist, right below the sides of her breasts. They made a silent agreement to remove everything piece by piece, underwear last. Lexie's hands didn't have time to touch his neck before he slowly lowered himself to kneel on the floor, kissing his way down her neck, collarbone, above her breasts, her ribs and now her flat stomach. He could feel her fingers in his hair and his hands moved down to the hem of her jeans. As his mouth covered her silky skin with hot kisses, his fingers gently undid her button and pulled down the zipper. He caught a glimpse of her black panties and just stopped for a short moment, awaiting a protest from Lexie. When her fingers kept massaging his scalp, he took the hint and slowly pulled her dark jeans down her hips and long, gorgeous legs. Newly shaven, he noticed as his fingers brushed against her skin. The clothing soon hit the floor and Lexie gracefully stepped out of them.

"Mark," Lexie uttered his name in a soft tone with a mix of eagerness and longing. She wanted to move slowly, at the same time she desperately wanted him inside her. The feelings surprised her, but she welcomed it nonetheless. She wouldn't regret this.

Mark slowly moved his hands up along her legs as he started kissing his way back up. He noticed how her breath slightly hitched and her stomach tightened when he came across some sensitive spots. It had been months since they last had sex, but he still knew her body like he knew his own life story. He consciously avoided her breasts as he moved back up to finally reconnect his lips with hers. His arms were back around her waist and Lexie deepened the kiss as her arms hooked around his neck. A piece of paper wouldn't fit between them at this point.

The tension grew, the kisses got more heated, and they both got more eager to reach the goal. With Mark's lips glued to Lexie's, he moved his hands down her back and gently cupped the back of her thighs, she had no time to react before he, in a swift and well-practiced move, lifted her from the floor and hooked her to his body. A soft giggle escaped her mouth through the kiss and her legs soon hooked around his hips. For the first time, she could actually _feel_ his bulging erection in his boxers. She tensed slightly at the discovery, her mind briefly returning to the last time she felt an erected penis against her. For a short moment, she forgot whom was actually holding her right now. Breaking the kiss gently, she took a breath and looked up into the man's eyes. Dark blue eyes locked with hers and she would recognize them anywhere. No doubt these eyes, that reflected the ocean on a dark evening, belonged to the man she loved. He looked slightly questioning, silently wondering why she broke the kiss. Mark was easily alarmed at this point, she realized

"Take me to bed," Lexie whispered, her fingers playing with the hair at the base of his neck. She could still feel his erection against her, but this time she welcomed it, eager to feel more.

Mark didn't question her. He'd realized long ago that she partly might need more time before they moved up the levels together. And he would be patient. Their lips automatically reconnected again and as his lips gently moved across hers. His feet guided him towards the bed as his arms securely kept her hooked and safe from falling. The walk from the closet to the bed was less than 6 steps, but he took his time. Once he was close enough to the bed, he placed his knee as far away from the edge as possible, making sure he could balance himself. Lexie was light as a feather and he gently moved forward and laid her down with the same care he would with a sleeping baby. Her back soon hit the mattress and she kept her arms and legs around him, effectively bringing him down with her.

With his elbows on either side of Lexie, Mark made sure to support his weight as he kept kissing her passionately and softly. He was lying fully on top of her, between her legs, with her arms and legs wrapped around him. That fact was his only life line at this point, the only way he could tell for sure that Lexie really wanted him this close right now. He could feel how Lexie leaned into his kisses and made sure to press herself against him as tightly as possible. She slightly pushed herself upwards, giving him room to reach behind her back and unhook her bra. With the briefest hesitation, Mark took the hint and reached behind her back. He unhooked her bra in one swift move with his fingers. As the sound reached their ears, Lexie made a sound that Mark couldn't define other than as a moan.

They broke the kiss for a brief moment and Lexie's eyes shined as Mark pulled away to look at her. She was once again tugging at her lower lip and slowly released the grip she had around his neck, moving her arms down so he could pull the bra off completely. He swallowed the hesitation and supported his weight with one arm, as the other managed to pull the bra off her chest and down her arms. Mark tensed as soon as her naked breasts came into his vision. He hadn't seen them in months, and he was reminded that he and Andrew Wilson clearly shared admiration for Lexie's breasts. Just to train his eyes away from the glory that was her boobs, he turned his head to the side and followed the bra with his eyes as the item was discarded to the floor. The sight of the rest of their clothes left in a pile on the floor gave him a clear view of what was really happening. As if he for the first time really understood. Mark was pulled back to reality when he felt Lexie's warm hand on his cheek, successfully turning his head back towards her. Her eyes reflected emotions he hadn't seen in a long time, and just the look on her face told him that she was ready of this. He watched her lick her lips as the hand on his cheek now suddenly disappeared and instead moved _downwards_. In mere seconds, her warm fingers were touching his still on-going erection, the feeling causing him to let out a groan.

Lexie swallowed lightly and took a moment to enjoy the feeling of him in her hand. She was still a bit surprised that this whole thing had turned so quickly. Just earlier today, she was anxious about sex and now she was literally holding his erection in her hand. She welcomed it with open arms. When she felt another rush of tingling in the pit of her stomach and further down, she knew she was ready. "Take off your boxers," she ordered in a soft voice, offering him a small smile as his eyes were glued to hers. She watched him visibly swallow, he looked hesitant for a short moment but then did as he was told. Mark moved away from her completely, his eyes focusing on her face and breasts as he sat up on his knees. With some maneuvering, his boxers were soon off and tossed to the floor with the rest of their clothes, his erection now fully exposed and pointing towards the thing it wanted most; Lexie Grey.

Mark slowly laid back down on top of his girlfriend, his elbows supporting his weight as he rested his body atop hers. Their lips reconnected and the kisses immediately intensified, hungry and eager to feel as much of the other as possible. A soft moan escaped from Lexie when she felt Mark's erected penis resting against her. He was dangerously close to her center, and it spurred her on even more. Her panties was now the only barrier separating them, but they both knew they would soon come off.

"Panties," she whispered against his lips, the word coming out more as a pant.

Mark wanted to ask her once again if she was sure, but the realistic part of his brain stopped him before he could form the words. He knew she trusted him, at least he really hoped she did. And he figured she wouldn't sound this eager about something she didn't really want. With that in mind, Mark made sure to keep his lips on hers the whole time as his hands moved downwards. Her fingers were gripping his upper arms and he quickly found the hem of the lace item. With Lexie pushing herself up, he easily pulled the clothing off and maneuvered them so they could come off completely without him losing too much physical contact with her. The panties were quickly tossed to the floor, the last piece of clothing completing the messy puzzle that was the pile of their clothes. Now that part was over. They were both completely out of their clothes, naked in the bed. Only one thing left.

When Lexie spread her legs slightly more, giving him more room between her legs, Mark couldn't help but steal a glance down at her. He wished there was some other way to penetrate her, some other way to do this without it resembling the way Wilson had done it. Rape or not, Mark was about to connect with Lexie the same way _Andrew Wilson_ had. And he didn't like that. Sadly, there wasn't another way to do this.

"Come here," Lexie whispered with a smile on her face, her eyes showing him how ready she was for this moment.

After swallowing a forming lump in his throat, Mark decided to push all the feelings aside and focus on Lexie. He moved back on top of her and lowered his face to hers, allowing Lexie to take control and start kissing him. As they kissed, Lexie moved down her hand to grab his hard length, causing Mark to let out a groan as she guided him towards her entrance. Mark tensed at the contact and knew he was the one in control now. Lexie's hands cupped his face and he opened his eyes when he pulled back to look at her. He waited for her to protest, to give him any sign of regret, any indication that she didn't want this. But there was none. Lexie wanted this. Just as much as he did.

In one swift and gentle thrust, Mark was now inside her, the warm feeling of her walls around his hard length sent a chill down his spine. They both closed their eyes and let out a breath at the intimacy, and Mark rested his forehead against hers, giving her, them, time to adjust.

"Keep going," Lexie ordered softly, her arms wrapping around his neck to be even more intimate. "Please, Mark."

He didn't have to be asked twice. With slow and controlled motions, his hips started moving. A sigh of pleasure escaped Lexie's parted lips and Mark had to make sure to keep the movements slow and gentle, even though all he really wanted was to literally fuck her as hard and fast as he possibly could.

Mark's grunts soon mixed together with Lexie's small moans, and everything felt normal and familiar, like they had done this a millions times already. They were back in their bubble, where everything was okay and it was just the two of them. The bubble where nothing bad could happen. They were really doing this. And it felt good.

Even though they were as close and intimate as a couple could be, Lexie still wanted more. As she returned her lips to his, she moved her hand down to his, her fingers gripping around his wrist and pulled his hand up. Soon his palm was cupping her breast, which caused a moan to leave Mark through the kissing. No one had touched her boobs since Wilson, and Lexie needed that touch to be erased, preferably with Mark's. The feeling of her breast in his palm made him feel all warm inside and it spurred him on a little bit, causing him to move slightly faster inside her. After a moment, they broke the kiss when air became needed. They held eye contact for a second before Mark leaned down to attack her neck with kisses, his tongue gently touching her most sensitive spots. Lexie allowed herself to moan and made sure to turn as close to Mark's ear as possible, fully aware that the sound of her hot breath meant everything to him. Another moan escaped him along with the sound of her name. This was the highest level of intimacy they both knew, their definition of 'making love'.

In the heat of it all, with Mark burying his head in her neck, attacking her skin with hot open-mouthed kisses, Lexie opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. She moved her hands down his back, her fingers gently brushing against his tense muscles. With each, delicate, thrust, Lexie's breath synched and she found herself letting out occasional moans. She couldn't remember him being this gentle with her since their first time in his hotel room, and even then it hadn't been _this_ gentle. Mark was the perfect lover. He could always balance her on the edge of pain and pleasure, never once crossing the line. He'd learned her body better than she knew herself, and he always managed to push the right buttons and find her most sensitive spots. She could only hope he felt the same way about her.

Lexie was pulled out of her thoughts when Mark let out a moan that didn't quite sound like him. The grip on her breast tightened, and for a moment, Lexie got worried. It was like everything went blank, her memories from just minutes ago washing away like waves. Where was Mark? Was it really him thrusting inside her, giving her this amazing pleasure? With his face buried in her neck, she couldn't tell if it was him, or if it was a dream and it was really _Wilson_. She tensed slightly and didn't know what to do. "Mark?"

The tone in Lexie's voice was enough for Mark to quickly leave the cosiness of her neck and pull back to meet her eyes. For some odd reason, he knew. "Right here, Sweetheart," he told her softly, slowing down his moves, almost close to stilling completely. "Need me to stop?"

One look at Mark's blue eyes was enough for Lexie to get her mind back to where she was. Wilson didn't exist. Not right now, not in this moment. This was her and Mark. "No," she replied, adding a smile to convince him. To seal the deal, she moved her hand down, gripping his one resting on her breast and intertwining their fingers. As if practiced a hundred times, they moved their joined hands to rest on the bed. As Mark picked up the movements of his hips again, his other hand cupped Lexie's cheek. They didn't kiss, just locked eyes with each other.

After a moment, Lexie gave Mark _that_ look. The look he'd been missing for months. The look he only had to _think_ about to get hard. That look along with a moan made Mark smile. "Yeah?" He whispered even though he didn't need the confirmation. He knew.

"Mhm," Lexie replied, pressing her lips into a thin line and nodded before closing her eyes. She tightened the grip on his hand and frowned, focusing on the goal in front of her. A moan escaped her and her walls started to clench around him.

"Lexie," Mark whispered and leaned down to kiss her, she responded immediately and he could feel himself reaching his completion. The moment they had been waiting for was approaching in rapid speed. Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against hers and waited for that wonderful high to take over.

Another moan was his reply. Lexie pulled her knees up higher, bringing him deeper inside her and causing them both to moan. Their breaths picked up in pace and skin smacked together as Mark picked up the thrusts slightly more. He could feel her inner walls contract tightly around him for a moment before relaxing, and that final moan was enough for him to release inside her. Reaching the climax made them both see stars and they felt in complete synch. They completed each other and the world surrounded around them. Nothing else mattered but the two of them.

Mark slowly stilled the movements of his hips and started to relax, feeling Lexie doing the same. Their breaths were synching and both trying to slow it down. Releasing their death grip on each other's hands, Mark pulled back slightly to look at the beautiful woman in front of him. She met his eyes and they both lost themselves in each others' eyes. Mark let go of her hand and instead cupped her cheek, his eyes as soft as ever. "You okay?"

Lexie nodded. "Yes," she added and moved her hands to hold his face. "I'm perfectly fine," she said and offered him a smile before leaning up to give him a soft kiss.

They stayed like that, kissing for a moment before Mark pulled out of her. He laid down beside her, making sure to stay close as he watched her pull up the comforter, her breast soon being covered. His back hit the mattress and he found himself staring up at the ceiling. It was like his mind was finally catching up and he realized what had happened. They'd had sex. After all these months of fighting, crying and fear, they finally did it. Mark felt proud, mainly of Lexie. She'd come such a long way. From telling him the truth, to starting therapy, to this. His Lexie was slowly coming back.

When Mark turned to face the love of his life, he noticed that her expression had changed. She looked lost, as if she couldn't remember how she ended up in this bed. He also thought he could make out tears filling her eyes. Loud, alarming bells were ringing in his head and he wanted to die. "Lexie," he said, his voice holding a shade of horror.

The sound of her name caused her to snap out of her thoughts and look at the man beside her. The tears were escaping her eyes and when she noticed the look on his face, she shook her head and rolled over on her side, her face inches from his. "No, I'm fine. I promise." She touched his arm and tried to put on a brave face.

"You don't look fine," Mark remarked and swallowed the growing lump in his throat. "You're crying."

"I know, but it's not because I'm sad," Lexie explained and tried to sound convincing. "It's not uncommon. I've been really emotional and now a lot of tension eased and endorphins released. This is good, I promise." The look on Mark's face didn't change and she knew he didn't believe her this time. "Please, Mark. I promise you. I don't regret this." She scooted closer to him and hugged his arm, her hand resting on his chest. "Please. Just hold me. Everything is fine, I swear."

Mark was almost convinced. He'd read about crying after sex and that most times, it was completely normal. However, Lexie had never cried after sex, and it was rather interesting that the crying happened after this special time. Despite him still doubting, he moved his arm and wrapped it around her as she rested against him.

"I promise, Mark," she whispered as tears were falling down her face, sniffing a little as she paused. "I don't regret this, you did nothing wrong, I'm fine. Please believe me."

"Okay," Mark replied and rubbed her skin with his thumb. "Let's get some sleep, it's been a long day." He felt Lexie nod and snuggle up closer to his body. He was slowly starting to believe her. For the time being, he relied on the fact that she was still here, in his arms and soon lulled to sleep.

Everything was going to be fine.


	27. Chapter 27

**I really am so sorry for the huge delay. I really don't have an excuse other than life and lack of inspiration to write. But I'm back!  
** **Thank you all for the amazing reviews on the last chapter. I was a bit worried you'd think they acted too soon but all the reviews made me smile so wide! So thank you for that!  
** **This chapter is Mark centric, yaaay! And it's a bit jumpy but I hope you can live with that. Things are about to take new turns soon and I hope you're as excited for it as I am!  
In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter. And as always, don't forget to leave a review because they make my day!**

* * *

The shining sun heading straight for his eyes was the thing that woke Mark Sloan up the next morning.

Upon awakening, the first thing he noticed, _felt_ , was Lexie's absence. The last thing he remembered was how she snuggled up as close to him as possible, soft sniffling, and him just holding her. And now she was gone. He was alone.

The realization hit him like a bolt of lightning and like The Flash, he was sitting up in bed in pure panic, his heart beating like it would be the last thing it ever did. His breathing picked up as he scanned the room, hoping that Lexie would magically show up in his vision. But she didn't. Without knowing what else to do, Mark reached for his boxers and a pair of sweats and put them on in a hurry. His heart was still pounding in his chest and the guilt was washing over him like a tsunami. If Lexie was gone, or devastated, or sad, or depressed, it would be _his_ fault. He should've said no last night. He shouldn't have allowed her to go through with the intercourse when she clearly wasn't ready. He was the one to take responsibility for her at this time, he just shouldn't have allowed it to happen. Forgiving himself at this point was impossible.

His steps were quick as he got out of the bed and walked out of the bedroom. The moment he opened the door and took a step out, he was greeted by the smell of pancakes and the sound of rustling in the kitchen. And, extremely unexpected, the sight of Lexie working in the kitchen came into his eyesight.

The heaviest weight was lifted off his shoulders at the sight. Lexie was still there.

Mark was like a statue as he watched Lexie in the kitchen. He thought he was gonna have a stroke, seeing her was what he least expected. It even took him a while to notice that she was dressed in _his_ grey shirt from last night. It was so big on her it covered her thighs and she had to roll up the sleeves. She really looked good in his clothes. Her dark, messy curls were hanging on one side of her shoulders and looked like it kept getting in her face. She didn't notice him, she was too occupied with making breakfast. And Mark was too stunned to know what to do. He was so shocked by her still being in his apartment, he didn't know whether to go back to bed or run over and hug her as hard as he could.

Lexie must have noticed his presence. All of a sudden, she turned her head around and watched him by the door to the bedroom. A small smile appeared on her face that made Mark's heart skip a beat. "Morning," she said casually before turning back to what she was doing.

It took a moment longer for Mark's mind to catch up. Part of him still wasn't sure she was really there, maybe he was just dreaming. With a slight shake of his head, he gathered himself and slowly walked over to where his precious girlfriend was occupying the kitchen. Knowing he was taking a big risk, he stopped right behind her and slowly moved his hands to rest on her hips. They stayed there for a moment before he wrapped his arms around her waist. His eyes fell shut and a sigh of relief left him when he felt her body lean against him. "Morning," he replied in a whisper as he buried his face in her neck, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. "You're still here," he said, afraid that saying the words out loud would make her disappear for real.

A small giggle left Lexie as she flipped a pancake. "Of course I'm still here," she said as if it was obvious and Mark's worries had no ground. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Mark's arms wrapped a little tighter around her, the fear of losing her creeping up on him again. "You gotta stop doing that," he said, completely ignoring her rhetorical question.

"Stop doing what?" Lexie frowned and subconsciously placed a hand on top of Mark's.

"Sneak out of bed like that." Mark's tone was low and the words came out more as a mumble. As if he didn't really want to say it.

When the realization finally hit Lexie, she instantly felt bad. "Oh, Mark," she said and turned around in his arms, resting her forearms on his shoulders as she looked at him. He didn't meet her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't think. I woke up and I was thirsty. While I was up I figured I'd make some breakfast." She kept searching his eyes and he kept avoiding hers. It was first now she realized what her actions did to him, especially considering her reaction in bed last night. "Mark…"

"I didn't hurt you last night, did I?" He refused to meet her eyes. Out of shame or fear, he wasn't sure. Probably both.

"No," Lexie replied instantly and shook her head at the same time. "No, you didn't. You ask me that every time and I keep telling you the truth. You could never hurt me, not like that. I'm sore, yes, but deliciously sore. And that can never be avoided." She tried offering him a convincing smile and waited a moment for him to meet her eyes but when he didn't, her smile faded and she let out a soft sigh. "This is about the crying, isn't it?" He didn't reply but she knew. "Mark, please believe me. I didn't cry because I was sad. I have no idea where the tears came from, it just happened. It was like everything released inside of me, I felt free, I finally overcame something. I beat the demons, Mark. It was good crying, not because you hurt me or did something wrong. I promise."

Mark still refused to meet her eyes, and it was starting to mess with her head and actually hurt. He was listening, but he needed time to catch up and get an opportunity to actually believe her. Considering everything last night, he had trust issues. And it would probably take a while for him to get that back.

"I love you," Lexie said in a soft voice, her hands cupping the base of his neck. Surprisingly enough, those three magical words caused Mark to finally lock eyes with her. "Do you at least believe that?" She asked, feeling the sadness washing over her.

He panicked. For the second time this morning, Mark Sloan panicked at the thought of losing Lexie forever. The way she said the words, so soft, so powerful, so _meaningful_. In the heat of the moment and the panic that was washing over him, he didn't know what else to do other than kiss her. In a millisecond, his lips connected with hers in a desperate kiss that he hoped would never end. He did believe that part, he figured that she would've been out of here a long time ago if she didn't love him. The feel of her lips responding to him made him relax like never before. It was time he started to work on his trust issues and believe his girlfriend when she told him something, it would take a while, but he had to try.

Breaking the kiss, he stayed close to her and rested his forehead against hers, just breathing her in and briefly opened his eyes to look at her. "It was good crying?" He asked in a soft tone, close to whispering.

"Yeah," Lexie replied in a whisper, her breathing heavy from the kiss.

"You overcame something," he said, half-question, half-statement.

Lexie nodded.

"It wasn't because of me."

"Never." Lexie's tone was soft and low, yet the most determined he'd ever heard.

Mark paused for a moment, just holding her gaze and searching her eyes for anything that would indicate that she was lying to him, something that would betray her words. He found nothing. Nothing but sincerity and love. "Okay."

"Okay," Lexie replied, feeling relief and offering him a small smile. He was finally believing her.

"I love you, too," Mark said and returned the smile. He locked eyes with her for a moment before he leaned forward to give her a light peck on the lips. It was barely a kiss but it was enough for the two of them. Lexie smiled into the kiss and glanced up at him once it broke.

"Breakfast," she said and giggled a little before turning around, making sure to stay in Mark's arms as she did so.

"Go ahead," Mark replied with a chuckle and rested his chin on Lexie's shoulder, watching from behind as she continued with the pancakes. His arms wrapped around her midsection, his fingers gently tugging at the material of her, _his_ , shirt. Right now the clothing smelled like a mix of his cologne and her perfume along with her natural scent. An intoxicating smell that made his stomach do flip flops. And the sight of her in his clothes didn't make matters worse. A soft chuckle left his mouth as he comprehended the sight and buried his face in the base of her neck, allowing her natural locks to cover his face.

"What?" Lexie asked with a warm tone, enjoying the feeling of Mark so close to her.

"You're wearing my shirt," he replied simply, tightening the grip on her and tugged a little more on the clothing.

"I am." Lexie hadn't really thought about it when she got out of the bed, it just felt natural to put on his clothes. She gave it a moment of thought before she started tugging on her lower lip nervously. "Is that okay?" She asked cautiously.

"That's fantastic." A simple reply, so firm and loving at the same time. Mark couldn't put his finger on it, but Lexie wearing his clothes was a symbol for him. Sure, a lot of women had worn his shirt the morning after sex, but nothing compared to Lexie doing it. His dress shirt was about a million sizes too big for her, yet it fit perfectly. They were a perfect match. "You look great in my clothes," he added in a soft voice, giving her neck a quick kiss.

Lexie giggled softly. "Wish I could say the same about you and my clothes," she joked, bumping him jokingly with her hips.

"Smartass," Mark replied, catching up on the joke and squeezing the skin on her thigh as a reply.

"Ow!" Lexie cried out and bumped him even harder to get him away as she giggled. "Go make yourself useful and get some plates. this will be done in a few minutes."

"Yes, ma'am," Mark replied and kissed her cheek quickly before leaving the comfort of her neck and walking to the cabinets to get some plates. He didn't have to look, but he could feel her eyes following his every move. And he would lie if he said he didn't love that.

—

"Torres!" Mark called out as he picked up the pace, jogging down the hallway towards Callie.

Callie stopped walking slightly and turned around to greet her friend, a small smile on her face as she knew what special evening it was last night. "Hey, you," she replied.

"I believe this is yours," Mark said as he came to a halt when he was close enough, handing out the hair clip Lexie had borrowed from the latina yesterday. "Thanks, or whatever," he added, offering her a small smile in thanks.

"You're welcome," Callie said, eyeing the item a moment before putting it in her lab coat pocket. "So…" she added with a teasing tone, not being able to keep the curiosity in control any longer. "How did it go?" Her eyes sparkled with teasing and curiosity.

"It went well," Mark replied simply as they simultaneously started walking slowly down the hallway.

"Well?" Callie questioned and gave her friend a joking offended look. "That's it?"

"That's it."

"Really?" Callie asked, gently bumping his arm with her elbow. " _You_ return the hair clip Lexie borrowed and all you can say is 'it went well'." She could see Mark smirking very slightly and knew there was more to the story. "Come on, Mark. Give me something. Did it happen or…?" She didn't have to be that literal with what she was asking.

The small smirk on Mark's face suddenly turned into a full on grin. Despite everything, there was always that special feeling he got the morning after. And that feeling was always given away by the look on his face. Especially while talking to Callie. "It happened."

Callie's jaw dropped like a bowling ball. To be honest, she was just joking with Mark when she acted all teasing like that. She knew that Lexie had been nervous about potentially having sex with him, but she really didn't think she would go for it so soon. "It happened? Wow, Mark, that's amazing." She offered her best friend a wide smile and patted him on the shoulder. "That's great. For both of you. And, honestly, I'm really amazed. I actually didn't think Lexie would go for it."

Callie's last remark made Mark stop dead in the tracks and pulled on Callie's arm. When she turned around, his eyes were wide with concern and confusion. "What did you say?"

Callie eyed Mark carefully, trying to figure out what caused this reaction from him. "Uhm, I said that I didn't think Lexie would go for it?" Mark's expression didn't change so she figured she owed him an explanation. "Lexie came to me for some outfit advice and she asked me if I thought you'd be _expecting_ things from her. I told her no. But, wow, she really went for it. Yay her." Callie tried to smile in hope of Mark catching on. He didn't.

"Oh God," Mark sighed and ran a hand over his face as the anxiety creeped up on him. "I knew it," he muttered to himself, loud enough for Callie to hear, and blamed himself more than ever for not taking care of Lexie the correct way. "I knew I shouldn't have let her go through with it. I had a feeling. My gut told me to stop her and I didn't listen. Damn it!" The anger rose inside of him, resulting in him slamming his hand against the wall.

"Mark, for God's sake, calm down," Callie told him in a hushed tone as two nurses gave them sideways looks. "I told Lexie to go for it _only_ if she really felt confident enough. So trust _her_ instinct this time and not your own."

"And what if she did it just for me?" Mark asked as he finally met Callie's eyes again, his eyes showing his devastation over possibly hurting the woman he loved even more. "What if she felt like she had to spread her legs for me? She hesitated more than once and afterwards, she-" Mark stopped himself and closed his eyes. Saying the words out loud always made it more real. And he wasn't completely ready to adress what happened last night. It only made him feel worse.

Callie raised her eyebrows at him, knowing there was more to tell. "And afterwards she… What?"

"She cried," Mark confessed, locking eyes with Callie in pure desperation. Lexie cried after they finished. And the only conclusion must be that she didn't really want to do it, went through with it anyway and then cried while regretting her decision. "She claimed it was happy tears, but now I realize the truth."

"Oh, Mark…" Callie sighed and took a step closer, gently putting her hand on his arm in an act of comfort. "I completely understand your concern and I know this is difficult for you. But do you remember when I started exploring my sexuality with Erica Hahn? And after we had sex the first time, Erica cried afterwards, do you remember that?"

Mark looked deeply into his best friend's eyes for a moment, clearly remember what Callie told him like it happened yesterday. He remembered what a confusing period that was for Callie and how grateful she was to have his support. It seemed like he always had the perfect answers to all her troubles. And now it was Callie's turn to be the support system. "Yeah, I remember that," he replied simply.

Callie smiled. "And do you remember what you said to me?" Without waiting for an answer, she answered her own question. "You said that the crying was a compliment. That it wasn't tears of regression or anxiety. Erica cried because she had a revelation, just like I believe Lexie cried because she felt released."

The story Callie reminded him of made Mark calm down. He did remember how sure he was of his own words when Callie was worried, so everything he was told now made perfect sense. "You really think so?" Mark asked, still doubting just a tiny bit.

"I know so," Callie replied in a confident tone, offering her friend a smile to seal the deal. "I promise you, Mark. Lexie and I talked about it and I know she wouldn't do anything like that just for you. If she said she's okay, you should believe her." Callie paused for a moment and sighed before placing her hand on his cheek. "I know you two have had your ups and downs lately. And your fair share of lies and secrets, but that's over now. Lexie isn't lying to you anymore. I know it's difficult for you, but try to start believing her."

Mark took a moment to really think about everything Callie said before nodding. He knew she was right, and if his best friend could more or less guarantee him that his girlfriend wasn't lying, it had to be the truth. Once again, he was overreacting, and it was time to let that go.

"You have nothing to worry about, Mark," Callie added and smiled. "If she said she's okay and is still with you, everything is fine."

The heaviest sigh left Mark as he finally let go of his concern and started to believe what Callie said. Leaning against the wall behind him, he ran a hand over his face and stared at the wall opposite him. It was a lot to take in and process, but with Callie's support, he knew he would make it. "Alright," he said and nodded. "I'll work on it. It's gonna take a while considering everything but… I'll really try."

"Good boy," Callie said and linked arms with Mark, forcing him to walk with her down the hallway. "Now, tell me more about last night."

—

Later that night, Mark was sitting on the bed in the bedroom, a medical journal in his lap and books spread out on the bed. Derek asked for a consult on a complicated case that required some research on his part. The day had been going smoothly since his talk with Callie, it was nice to know that he had someone he could turn to whenever he needed it. And he had been there for Callie when she was struggling, it was only fair that she returned the favor. After all, that's what friends are for.

Even though he'd been talking to Callie, he still had a hard time concentrating on the case before him. Lexie crying after sex did things to him that was anything but welcoming. He started to believe her now, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that he had done something wrong. Had things turned out differently if he made her wait? No one knows. But now it was all done anyway. They'd had sex, for the first time in a long while. It didn't go completely spotless but they made it. Deep down, he was still extremely proud of Lexie and her progress, he figured that if they could get through this, they can get through anything. Lexie Grey is a strong woman so he wasn't worried on that part, but he knew she still had a long way to go and just because they reached a major milestone last night doesn't mean everything is back to normal. However, he also knew that with Lexie's strength and a lot of his support, they would get things back to normal. Together.

"There you are," Lexie's voice suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the doorway, causing Mark to almost jump with fear and turn his head to look at her. "Didn't you hear me calling your name like a hundred times?" she asked with a frown.

With his heart pounding in his chest and his eyes wide, he let out a sigh and placed a hand on his chest. "No, sorry… I guess I was just deep in thought," Mark replied and turned his eyes back to the books in front of him. Derek would kill him if he wasn't prepared for this surgery.

Lexie nodded in half-understanding and glanced towards the books on the bed. "Research for a case?" She asked and cautiously took a few, slow steps forward.

"Yeah," Mark replied simply. His mind was racing with different thoughts and he didn't know where to even begin to sort it all out with the case and Lexie getting closer behind him.

"Need any help?" Lexie asked, her voice smooth as cotton. Her hands slowly landed on Mark's shoulders and started massaging his tense muscles.

"No, thanks, I'm good," Mark replied honestly in a strangled voice. Lexie's hands on him didn't help sort out his thoughts at all, it was messing even more with his head. Where was she going with this?

"Okay," Lexie replied in an understanding tone, her hands kneading to try and work out some muscle knots. "You're tense," she added, noticing that Mark wasn't relaxing to her touch.

"Yeah, uhm, long day I guess," Mark said quickly, coming up with the quickest excuse for his tension that didn't include Lexie. The long day and this case was partly the reason, but Lexie was the main one. In an attempt to distract both himself, and hopefully Lexie, he decided to change the direction of this conversation away from him. "How was your day?"

"It was good," she replied and smiled even though he couldn't see her. "Bailey let me take out a kidney." A short moment of silence was enough for Lexie to realize that the tension between them was thick and uncomfortable and it would be difficult to get a conversation going smoothly.

"That's nice," Mark replied simply, feeling the uncomfortable tension and trying to decide wether to ask Lexie to stop what she was doing or just let her continue in hope of this getting easier soon.

Silence fell between them again, but Lexie wouldn't let it stay for long. "Did you find Callie this morning?" She asked instead, remembering that Mark would find his best friend and return the hair clip. Lexie had offered to do it herself but Mark insisted. And she didn't have to be a brain surgeon to figure out that it was so he could talk to the ortho surgeon.

"I did," Mark said and actually lit up a bit. "She was happy the hair clip came to good use for you," he added. He heard Lexie reply with a muffled 'Good' and quickly found his opening for the conversation he _really_ wanted to have. "She… Callie also told me that you two had a little talk before we met up last night," he confessed, not completely sure where he was going with it.

Lexie wasn't surprised, nor was she upset or mad. Callie was Mark's best friend, of course they were bound to talk about everything that happened within the last 24 hours. "We did," Lexie confirmed, slowing down the motions with her hands and going to regular caressing. "Just a little girl-to-girl chat."

"Did you really think I would be expecting things?" Mark didn't bother to go smoothly anymore and walk thirty laps around the subject before getting to the point. His tone was soft but he knew the message got through anyway.

The hands on Mark's shoulders slowed down and came to only rest on them. Lexie had a feeling the question was coming but didn't expect it this soon. "No," she answered honestly and slowly moved to sit down beside him on the bed. She made sure to place her hand as close to him as possible. A soft sigh left her parted lips before raising her eyes to look at him. "Okay, maybe a part of me was thinking something would be expected," she confessed softly. "But not from _you_ , more from the situation," she explained, referring the 'situation' to the date. "I… I had been thinking about it all day and I just needed some honest advice on what to do if… if the moment would appear. And Callie was honest and helpful, she told me to act upon it only if I really felt the urge. And I did." She added a smile to really make him believe her.

"So you didn't do any of that just for me?" Mark hated to confess that he was still doubting, but he promised himself that this would be the last conversation about this and if Lexie said she was okay, he would believe her.

"No, Mark," Lexie confirmed and couldn't help but chuckle just a little bit. She moved her hand to rest on top of his. "Look, I… I know I've been lying a lot lately and kept secrets from you and I know that's made you doubt a lot of what I say, but I would never lie about something like this. I promise, Mark. Last night was amazing, needed and wanted, I hit a few bumps but we made it anyway. And you gave me so many opportunities to change my mind but I didn't take any of them. Because I _wanted_ to be intimate with you."

Mark looked deeply into Lexie's eyes, once again searching for anything that would betray her words but once again, he found nothing but honesty and love. The tension in his whole body suddenly eased and he really relaxed. This conversation was needed for him to finally believe her. A warm smile found it's way onto his features and his hand moved up to caress her cheek. When Lexie flashed him a smile in return, everything felt right again. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," Lexie replied, leaning into Mark's touch and feeling like the world only contained the two of them. They held the moment for a minute before Lexie broke the eye contact and looked down between them. Another sigh escaped her as she glanced towards the books once again and then back up at the man she loved more than anything. "I'm gonna take a shower," she said and gently removed his hand from her cheek before slowly getting up.

"Alright," Mark said and smiled at her, following her every step with his eyes. The way she took off her cardigan and hung it up in the closet made his stomach twist in the best way. Knowing she would head for the bathroom in mere seconds, he decided to make another attempt to get some work done. Turning his attention back towards the pile of papers in front of him, he cleared his throat and picked up his pen to make some important marks.

"You coming?" Lexie asked in a seductive tone.

The question made the tension in Mark's body return again, but not for a bad reason. When he slowly swallowed and turned his head around to look at her, he was greeted with the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen as she was leaning against the doorway and just stared at him with hungry eyes. A grin quickly appeared on his face as he got up from the bed and walked towards her direction, his eyes replying to her question with a big, fat 'yes'.

He figured he could use a break from the books.


	28. Chapter 28

**I'm again apologizing for the delay of my updates. Life gets in the way sometimes. A few weeks ago I started university so I don't know how frequent the updates will be but I promise you they will come. I'm not abandoning this story! Too many plans for my OTP.  
** **Hope you like this chapter. I gave myself chills when I read through the last part, I just really love Mark Everett Sloan. Is that obvious?  
** **Anyway, leave a review and make my day. Let me know what you believe will happen next and what you _want_ to happen next! I'm always interested in your thoughts!  
** **Enjoy!**

* * *

Lexie Grey had a warm smile on her face as she walked down the hallway towards the psych wing. She didn't have her next appointment until next week, but she was eager to spill the beans to her counselor on how she hooked up with Mark after the date. She could feel butterflies release in her stomach as she got closer to the door she'd been entering about once a week for the last month. Right now, though, she didn't feel like she was going to talk to a therapist, it felt more like a friend.

Despite that, Lexie took a deep breath to gather herself before gently knocking on the door. When she heard a muffled ' _Come in_ ', she exhaled and entered the room. Inside, doctor Jones sat by her desk, writing in a chart. Upon looking up, her eyebrows rose at the sight of who entered her office.

"Lexie, hi. Did we have an appointment today?" Doctor Jones asked in a confused tone, worried she might have forgotten a scheduled appointment.

A soft giggle left Lexie before she explained herself. "No, don't worry. We don't have the next appointment until next week. But I just wanted to stop by to tell you a bit about my date with Mark." After glancing down to the desk, she noticed the amount of paper work and got concerned she might've interrupted. "Uh- unless… you're very busy."

"No, no, it's alright," Jones replied and put her paper work away slightly to show Lexie that she got time. "Continue. What happened at the date?" She asked with a smile.

Lexie offered her therapist a smile and sat down on one of the chairs. After clearing her throat, she took a breath to gather her thoughts. She didn't want to risk to go off rambling and not making any sense at all. "So… We went to dinner, we had a nice time and talked _a lot_ about… well everything really. And then we went home and we…" Lexie trailed off and tried to come up with the best way to explain how the night ended. A smile formed on her face along with a soft giggle. "We had sex," she finished and looked up to meet her therapist's eyes.

"How did that feel?" Jones asked calmly, skipping the formalities and pleasantries and instead jumping right to the feelings.

"It felt… It was actually a lot of mixed feelings," Lexie confessed and was suddenly sort of reminded how she'd reacted afterwards.

"Tell me."

Lexie sighed and put a lock of hair behind her ear before looking down at the floor. "Uhm… I felt safe to begin with. Mark was amazing and we did everything really slowly and he was calm and gave me opportunities to change my mind. He didn't want to rush things and make me feel like I was obligated to anything, he wanted me to know that I had every right to say stop at any time."

"That's great," Jones commented and nodded with a smile.

"But we… we did it. Although afterwards I… I kinda cried."

"Why?" Jones asked in a soft tone.

A heavy sigh left Lexie's parted lips as she thought about the answer. To be completely honest, she didn't know 100% herself exactly why her eyes filled with tears. She didn't feel any sorrow in her heart and there was no reason to feel anything but good. "I honestly don't know. The tears just came, it was like everything released inside of me. Like when you twist a towel super tight and then just let go."

"Well that's not surprising," Doctor Jones added. "A lot of different emotions have been building up inside you and you've obviously been very tense when it comes to physical contact. Now you let go of the control and exposed yourself to something that's been frightening you before. It's completely normal for your emotions to, sort of, overflow. Like when you over fill a glass of water and it just keeps running. But everything worked out fine, I guess? How did Mark take it?"

Lexie bit her lower lip in discomfort. Mark's reaction hadn't been good. "He was concerned, of course. He was scared to death that he'd done something wrong. I tried to reassure him that he didn't but he wouldn't believe me. But after a talk with his friend, Callie, I think he changed his mind." After a moment of thought and remembering, she chuckled and slightly shook her head. "I think the invitation to the shower was the push he needed to _really_ believe me."

"Well, I'm glad you're doing alright. And it's great that Mark has friends that he can talk to." She let the words sink in for a moment. "You understand his concern, though, right?"

"Of course," Lexie replied quickly and nodded. "I do. If the roles had been reversed, I'd be scared too. He has a right to be concerned and upset."

Jones nodded. All she needed from Lexie right now was to understand how her actions affected others, wether she wanted to or no. "But you two are fine now?"

"We are," Lexie replied and nodded.

"So what's the next step for you?" Jones asked softly and offered her patient a warm smile.

Lexie wasn't prepared for that question and it caught her a bit off guard. She hadn't been thinking that far ahead yet. But she did know that their story didn't end here. "I… I don't know," she replied honestly.

"What about the upcoming marriage?" Jones suggested and nodded towards the engagement ring on Lexie's finger.

It felt like someone had put the light on for her as she was reminded of the ring that symbolized so much. She casually glanced down to the silver item on her finger and carefully examined it. How hadn't she thought about that? "Of course," she mumbled, although loud enough for the therapist to hear. _Of course_ a wedding would be the next step. Maybe not 'next week' step, but a next step anyway.

Doctor Jones looked at Lexie for a long moment, giving her time to let the conversation sink in. Even though it wasn't a scheduled appointment, it was clear that Lexie needed this talk, and this little push, to move forward even more. It was progress, to say the least. She glanced down at her watch and realized they were running out of time. "I'm sorry, Lexie. But my next patient will be here soon," she said in a apologetic tone, hoping Lexie wouldn't take offense.

"Oh." It was first now Lexie realized how she'd overstayed her welcome. She didn't intend to take up too much of Doctor Jones' time. "Of course. Uhm, I have a surgery to get to anyway. But.. Next week as scheduled right?" She stood up and slowly backed towards the door as she spoke.

"Same time, same place," Jones said and nodded in agreement.

"Great," Lexie replied and turned to the door. "See you then," she added and left the room. Once outside behind the closed door, she took a moment to gather herself. Despite it not being a scheduled appointment and they didn't spend that much time on the matter, Lexie felt 5 pounds lighter. Like she always did when she left this room. It felt like every time, she realized some new stuff, like new doors opened for her, new opportunities. Her progress with the therapy was slowly starting to show itself and she got a more clear picture of how far she'd come. It felt like just yesterday she was keeping everything a secret from Mark, and now he did not only know everything, she was letting him in and they were slowly working their way back to a normal life. The life they once had. The life she was positive they would get back.

With a determined mind and a small smile, Lexie felt ready to leave this area of the hospital, for now, and get back to the surgical wing. All residents had been let go of their attendings to watch Doctors Shepherd and Sloan's big surgery. As she walked down the hallway towards the elevators, she could only hope that she hadn't kept Mark too far away from preparing himself for this big moment. She knew she hadn't, but it was fun to entertain the teasing thought.

—

The gallery was close to full when Lexie entered. There was always something special about entering the gallery and prepare to watch a surgery, take notes, and learn something. It was almost like watching a theatre, all the supplies were lied up in their respective order, the nurses and anesthesiologist knew exactly what to do and in what order, like it had been rehearsed for months. The lighting was perfectly set, and soon the main characters of the play, the surgeons, would enter. And thus, the show could begin.

To her surprise, Lexie found an empty chair right next to her sister, right in the front of the gallery. As her feet guided her through the crowded area, it felt like the spouses of the main surgeons had been offered the VIP seats. When she got closer, Meredith looked up and offered the brunette a warm smile. "Hey, I was wondering if you'd show up."

"Of course I would," Lexie replied with a chuckle as she took a seat beside her sister. "I just had something to do before I could come here." A smile formed on her face and she glanced down to the OR. Like rehearsed a hundred times, Mark and Derek entered the OR, both of them receiving a sterile towel to dry their hands and later on, the surgical gown. Lexie knew the feeling of high upon entering the OR and receive the surgical gown, but it was something special about watching Mark doing it.

"You're in a good mood," Meredith observed with a smile as she looked at her little sister.

Lexie couldn't help but smile even wider at her sister's remark. She did feel happier, but she wasn't sure it would show so clearly to the outside world. "I am," she replied simply, her eyes glued on Mark the entire time. Unable to contain her emotions any longer, she decided to share with Meredith before she popped with excitement. "Mark and I, we…" Her hands weren't late to start fidgeting as she tried to come up with the right word. "We started… being _intimate_ again." She could basically feel her cheeks burning up. But not from embarrassment. Pride. Love.

Meredith's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? That's great! Good for you!"

"Yeah," Lexie replied and met Mer's eyes quickly before turning her attention back to Mark as he and Derek prepared to being the procedure. "It feels… good. It feels really good, actually."

"I'm glad," Mer replied with a wide smile and touched Lexie's arm. "So things are good between you two? Things are going in the right direction?" Meredith knew how important it was for Lexie to be able to move forward with Mark.

"They are, yeah." Lexie nodded and met her sister's eyes once again. "I feel like things are turning out fine again. We are getting over the bad stuff and focus on the good things. It's all good." The smile on Lexie's face didn't betray her words. She was genuinely happy.

"Great. I'm so happy for you," Meredith said and patted Lexie on the arm before they both turned their attention down to what their men were currently doing.

Silence fell in the small area as Mark and Derek began the procedure. Both of them looked very focused and concentrated. Lexie couldn't help it when butterflies released looking at Mark working like that. He was excellent at many things, but being a surgeon would probably be on top of the list. "It's amazing, isn't it," Lexie commented out loud only for Meredith to hear. When she felt her sister's eyes on her, she clarified her statement. "Watching them work like the Gods they are. The plastic God and the neuro God working side by side to save a life."

Meredith couldn't help but chuckle at Lexie's comment. She completely agreed, but it was something about the way Lexie had said it. "Are you high or something?" She asked with a laugh.

"I'm high on life," Lexie replied honestly and returned the gaze, a warm smile on her face. "And watching him work just adds a little more to it."

"Yeah," Meredith agreed and decided to focus on the fact that her sister was happy. "You're right, it is special."

" _Alright, everyone, it's a beautiful day to save lives. Let's have some fun._ " Derek's voice sounded from the intercom, effectively pulling everyone's attention towards him. It was like everyone held their breath as Derek received the scalpel and made the first incision.

The first part was always a piece of cake and it didn't take long for the two experienced surgeons to officially open the patient up until the intense parts began. Lexie could see through Mark's armor that he was quite nervous, Derek too. Everyone was aware that the surgery was risky, but if successful, it would be a major contribution to medicine. And Lexie dearly hoped everything would go well. Mark and Derek deserved recognition for their hard work. Everyone agreed on that.

Derek and Mark worked like a dream team every step of the way. Like a rehearsed play, they asked for supplies in chronological order, fixed any and all complications, and supported each other during intense and risky parts. It seemed like they had learned a lot about each other as surgeons on their trip to Africa. It was like watching two completely different surgeons. They knew each other, they understood each other.

Everything went smoothly so far. Lexie glanced around the gallery and noticed her fellow residents making notes on various devices. She really enjoyed this. Coming up to the gallery and learn stuff was always fun. And when your boyfriend was one of the doctors teaching you, it was even funnier.

" _Damn,_ " Mark suddenly muttered, his voice clear on the intercom. A bleeder had occurred, a complicated one, based on the faces of the surgeons and all the other staff in the OR. Lexie held her breath as she watched both of them frantically work to stop the bleeder which was squirting everywhere at this point.

" _No, no, no…_ " Mark muttered, suctioning for dear life and trying to pull a stitch to fix it.

" _I thought you had it,_ " Derek barked, working fast on his side in order to help his friend if needed. This surgery couldn't fail.

" _I did,_ " Mark defended. " _But it just burst. I don't know what happened._ "

" _Well, fix it,_ " Derek ordered, both surgeons getting stressed.

" _I'm trying, Derek. Now shut up and let me work or do something to help._ "

The mood in the gallery changed quickly. Lexie could hear mumbling and whispering around her. Words like 'failure', 'fiasco', 'misfortune' and 'bad publicity' were running around the air, which angered Lexie to no end. But she would stay in her lane and be quiet while watching Derek and Mark pull a miracle to fix this complication.

" _Pressure's dropping,_ " a nurse announced nervously.

" _Come on, Sloan,_ " Derek ordered.

" _Hang on…"_ Mark replied, focusing on finding the source and asses the situation before he could ask for the tool necessary. A moment passed before Mark's eyes lit up. " _There, got it. Four-O vicryl!_ "

Lexie watched intensely as the nurse provided the supplies Mark asked for in order to stop the bleeding. It couldn't have taken less than 8 seconds for Mark to receive the supply, stop the bleeding and watch the numbers rise on the monitor. For a short moment she was flashed back to when Mark made Mrs. Patterson speak. The rush she felt was the same and it made her smile. Mark Sloan was a legend.

" _Okay, there. Got it. Pressure's up,_ " Mark breathed through his mask and closed his eyes for a second. After receiving a few 'Good job's, he took a breath and looked up at the gallery, Lexie's eyes the first thing he met. She believed in him, sometimes more than anyone ever had. And when she gave him that look, all insecurities washed away and he felt like a God. He watched a smile form on Lexie's face, and that was all he needed to continue and finish this. With success.

" _Alright, everyone,_ " Derek interrupted, glancing around the room and watching everyone calm down. Mark quickly looked back at him and both felt in synch before they silently decided to finish what they started. " _Hard part's over. Let's finish this._ "

Lexie watched Mark nod at his best friend and colleague. After taking a moment to breathe, they gathered themselves and continued where they stopped. Both eager to finish what they started.

This surgery was going to be a success.

—

Lexie felt warm and high inside later that night as she stood in front of the stove, making dinner for her and Mark. The man of the hour wasn't home yet, but Lexie had left the hospital as soon as the surgery was over to go home and prepare everything. Mark would be home soon, and then it would be celebration all night long. She still felt high from the rush of watching Mark perform this epic surgery. Despite some minor complications, he and Derek managed to succeed. It felt like she was dating a celebrity and she jokingly awaited journalists to march into the apartment and interview her, asking what it was like to date the most famous person in the world. The surgery wasn't _that_ groundbreaking, but it was always fun to play with the thought.

The moment she heard the sound of keys unlocking the door, she could've sworn her heart skipped a beat. The man of the hour was home, and she felt like the happiest woman on earth. It was like she could feel the excitement radiating through Mark without him not even being completely there yet. What she felt could probably be described as pride.

Yes. She was proud of Mark Sloan.

She slowly turned her head when the door closed behind him. Her eyes met his in mere seconds and she could see how they sparkled. Soon, a wide smile followed and she couldn't help the giggle when she noticed how he tried to smother it. He was proud of himself but didn't want to show it.

"Hey," she said after a moment, watching her man intensely as her hand kept working by the stove.

"Hi," Mark replied, his voice showing the pride and amazingness he really felt. He hung up his coat and casually shoved his hands into his pockets as he slowly made his way over to Lexie.

"How's your patient?" Lexie asked, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from Mark. That would make everything more real and she was anxious to hear him talk about it. They both would probably pop with excitement soon.

"He's fine," Mark answered a little bit teasingly. His fingers slowly dragged on the island counter and he casually followed the motion with his eyes. The smirk was slowly growing on his face and he wasn't shy to show it. "When I left, Derek had some last neuro exams to do, but he'll be fine."

"That's good," Lexie said, finally taking her eyes away and focusing on the food in front of her. "Things got intense there for a moment." She couldn't help it, she had to comment on it. Not because it was a failure, but because it was a part of the whole thing.

A sneaky chuckle left him and he took his time before replying. His eyes were steadily on his finger on the counter and he swallowed before answering. "It did. Part of the job, though. But Derek and I solved it like the gods we are." Mark was doing everything in his power not to explode with excitement. He felt like a kid on Christmas morning, eager to finally open the presents Santa left under the tree.

"I knew you would make it," Lexie replied with a warm smile that she regretted him not seeing. "It was very fun to watch, like watching a really intense action movie. Will the guys make it? Will they not? No one knows even though, deep down you know they will make it." She paused for a moment, finishing off the last part by the stove and turning it off before turning her body towards Mark. "I'm really proud of you."

Mark met her eyes quickly and felt all warm inside at her words. He had always been the guy who never needed approval or affirmation from anyone, he'd always been on his own and worked to make himself proud. Aside from Derek, Lexie was a person he did need approval and affirmation from. Knowing that he did something that Lexie thought was good, meant more to him than he could ever describe. Her approval and affirmation meant everything to him. And for the first time he realized how much he craved a marriage with her, he really thought they would make the perfect husband and wife.

The smile on Lexie's face grew wider and her eyes shined with pride, affection and love. And Mark couldn't contain himself anymore.

"God, Lexie, I just wish you could've been in there with me!" He exploded and threw his arms out before he started pacing in a high of adrenaline. Now came the moment they both had been waiting for. "It would have been the perfect case for you and me. The build-up by researching, reading up, studying, preparing and then just _doing_ it. It just- God, it was fantastic! The suspense during surgery, the complications, the panic, the- everything was just great and you should've been there!"

Lexie had to smother her laughing as she watched Mark in this excited state. It was like watching a child, but she was indeed very proud of him and she was happy to see him like this. She watched him as he kept pacing, trying to calm himself down, and just smiled. "I wish I could've been there too," she admitted as she took a step forward and wrapped her arms around herself. "But I was there in a way, I watched your every move and held my breath for you during the intense parts. I wasn't there but I was there anyway. That's good enough for me."

Mark had a huge smile on his face as he kept pacing. He was working on calming down but the adrenaline had completely taken over and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. This feeling could never go away. "It was just fantastic."

"I know," Lexie said calmly with a smile on her face, watching Mark's every move just like a few hours ago. "Are you gonna be able to eat dinner?" She couldn't help herself.

Mark chuckled at her question and slowed down a little bit before looking at her. Just meeting her eyes again sent sparks around the room. "Can't promise anything but I'll damn sure try."

"Come here," Lexie said in a warm tone and rounded the island to get closer to him. She could see him visibly relax and met her half way. In mere seconds she was wrapped up in his arms in the tightest hug he'd ever given her. When her arms wrapped around his midsection, she took a moment to just breathe him in. He smelled like scrub soap and his natural scent and the mix was incredible.

"I love you, Lexie." His voice was finally soft and he started to relax in her arms.

A small giggle left her. She hadn't expected those words at this moment. "I love you, too."

"Next time you better be operating with me."

"That would be nice." Lexie felt all warm inside at his words, and she couldn't help up imagining the two of them in the OR together.

They stayed like that for a moment which turned short when Mark's phone suddenly started ringing in his pocket. Mark groaned in annoyance and mumbled a 'Sorry' to Lexie before they both left each other's arms. He checked the screen and frowned at the number. "Hang on," he said to Lexie and walked away a bit before he answered. "Sloan."

Lexie sighed at the interruption but decided to make herself useful by fixing the last of the dinner. She'd stopped by the liquor store on the way home and got some wine and champagne to celebrate the special occasion. As she put the food onto plates, she could hear Mark mumble into the phone and she sensed that this was a conversation he didn't want her to hear. She stole quick glances at him at times and she noticed how he looked uncomfortable and secretive, and the feeling grew inside her that she wouldn't like what this conversation was about. Pushing the thoughts aside, she decided to focus on her task at hand.

A minute passed before Mark finished talking to the person on the line. "Alright, thanks. I'll get back to you. Okay, bye." A heavy sigh left him as he hung up the phone and his mind started racing. Right now it felt like everything was happening at once and he had no control over it or a moment to calm it down. A small amount of guilt was washing over him but he knew he had to talk to Lexie. With heavy steps, he turned around and headed back to the kitchen. He stopped by the island and placed his phone on the counter.

Lexie turned around slowly and noticed he refused to meet her eyes. _Big phone call_ , she though to herself before gathering courage. "Who was on the phone?" she asked with the lightest tone she could manage. How did this mood change so quickly?

Mark cleared his throat and sat down on the bar chair, his eyes glued to the counter as his fingers started playing with the phone. "That was the chief," he said casually as if that would explain everything.

"Okay," Lexie replied, without doubt sensing where this was heading.

"There… There's a medical conference in New York. Derek was supposed to go but now he suddenly couldn't…" Mark trailed off when he didn't find the right words.

"Oh," Lexie said in an understanding tone. She let go of the things she had in her hands and slowly took a step towards the counter. The meaning behind his words held no secrets, she knew what this meant. "When is the conference?"

Mark took a moment before replying. "This weekend…"

Lexie could only nod as she let the words sink in. "Wow. Feels like you leaving town on short notice is becoming a habit." Under normal circumstances, this wouldn't be a big deal to Lexie, medical conferences were held all the time and doctors from all over the world attended. But after Africa, Lexie realized she'd grown addicted to having him by her side all the time, especially at night, and having him on the other side of the country for a weekend felt like an eternity.

"I don't have to go, Lex," Mark said determined and slowly looked at her.

"No, you should go," Lexie argued, forcing herself to not let her feelings about this show. She could make it without him for a weekend, they'd still be able to text and talk on the phone. Plus, it would only be for a few days. "You've had so many big medical successes lately with Africa and all. You should go to New York and share it." She really meant that last part.

"You sure?" Mark hated this because he knew what it did to Lexie and he didn't want to ruin her big progress.

No, she wasn't sure. In fact she wanted to forcefully tell him not to go and then desperately hold onto him and never let go. But aside from being her boyfriend, he was also a successful surgeon and he had duties. "Yes," she replied instead and finally met his eyes. "Go to New York." She held his gaze for a long moment, letting her eyes tell him that he really should go. She didn't want him to decline the offer because of her.

"Okay," Mark said after a moment. He knew she was lying deep down, but he figured she'd feel worse about this if she forced him to stay. "I'll get back to Richard and let him set up the arrangements," he said and grabbed the phone as he got to his feet and took a few steps away.

"Okay," Lexie replied and sighed quietly. She rested her hands on the counter and just stared at them. The weekend was a few days away but the anxiety of sleeping alone was creeping up on her already. She cursed the situation, this was supposed to be a happy evening filled with celebration. And now New York had to ruin everything.

Mark was just about to hit dial when a thought entered his head. He paused for a moment and gave the idea a second thought before he made up his mind and quickly turned back to Lexie. "Come with me."

Lexie's eyes widened as she looked up at him. He couldn't be serious. "What?"

"Come with me to New York," Mark repeated.

"Mark, I… I have work and-"

"Come on," he interrupted. "You can skip work for a few days. Come with me, meet some people, learn a thing or two by listening to speeches, get away from Seattle." A small smile started to grow on his face as he slowly walked closer to her, effectively invading her personal space. "Plus… Hotel room," he said teasingly and smirked. "Room service, perfect view over the city, king size shower, king size _bed_ …" Mark leaned in closer to Lexie and breathed in her scent, making every effort to convince her.

Lexie giggled at the teasing and felt herself fall more and more for the idea. "Are you inviting me to a conference or a vacation?" She joked.

"Come with me, Lex," he whispered and leaned forwards to kiss her temple.

"What if the chief says no?" Lexie knew she had her duties back at the hospital and Mark was the one who was invited to this thing. Professionally, Lexie didn't belong on that trip.

"He won't say no," Mark replied in a convinced tone, already have made up a speech in his head about how he's not going if Lexie can't come with him. "Webber is a reasonable man," Mark added. He could sense Lexie was still hesitating. "Come on."

Lexie thought about it quickly for a moment. A part of her felt bad for just tagging along on a trip she wasn't invited to, but she would feel a lot better about Mark going away if she joined him. She wouldn't have to spend her nights alone. Again. A sigh left her as she made up her mind, as if she could say no when Mark acted like this. "Fine. But _only_ if Doctor Webber says yes."

"I'll make the phone call," Mark said and did his best to contain his excitement. He quickly kissed Lexie on the cheek before taking a few steps back and working his phone to dial Webber's number and make arrangements for both him _and_ Lexie. He didn't see why the reply from Webber would be a no.

Lexie sighed warmly as she watched Mark with the phone. The mood had turned once again and it felt like they were back on track. Once these arrangements were made, they could focus on celebrating Mark's big surgery. And then… They would spend the weekend in New York.

If Lexie Grey didn't feel like she was dating a celebrity earlier, she definitely had that feeling now.


	29. Chapter 29

**Thank you all for the amazing reviews on the last chapter.  
** **I gotta say, the delay this time isn't that big, is it? I'm really on a roll here right now and I have a clear view of how the next few chapters are gonna play out. We have a major emotional rollercoaster ahead of us and ya'll better buckle up. And PLEASE comment what you think will happen next. I'm dying for your thoughts and theories!  
** **Enjoy this chapter and don't forget to leave a review. And also, am I the only one who has Taylor Swift's Welcome to New York stuck in my head while reading this?**

* * *

New York. The Big Apple. The city that never sleeps. The capital of the world. The center of the universe.

There were so many nicknames for the big city and Lexie couldn't help it when her photographic memory reminded her that the city was first called New Amsterdam since it was a Dutch colony before England captured it, thus renaming the city in 1665. Either the name, they were here, in the big city, together. Butterflies released in her stomach as she looked out the window of the taxi as they rode over the bridge towards Manhattan. The water looked pierce blue, the boats roamed everywhere and the sky was clear. It felt kind of intimate when the cars passed them in different lanes. It was the same in Seattle, but just the feeling of being in New York made it more special. The sound of the wind swished by through the cracked window, and just by looking over the city, she realized why Mark loved it so much, and how special it must have been to grow up here.

A hand gently touched hers, effectively bringing her out of her daze. Glancing over to the owner of the hand, her eyes locked with Mark's ocean blue orbs and her heart melted slightly when a warm smile covered his face. She could clearly see how happy he was to be back and how much this trip would mean to him in general. All the times they'd talked about his life in New York, there was only positive things he had to say. "Welcome to New York," he said with the warmest tone only Mark Sloan could muster.

Lexie just smiled back at him in thanks. Growing up in Seattle and later living in Boston as a medical student, she didn't have time or money to travel a lot, so she had really been looking forward to spending her first time in New York with the man she loved more than anything in this world. It was like meeting another part of Mark, sort of like meeting his parents. She sensed a lot of him would be revealed this weekend, a lot of stories and memories. And she looked forward to it.

"How does it feel to be back?" Lexie asked with a warm tone, squeezing Mark's hand just because.

"It feels great," Mark replied. You could clearly see the happiness radiating off of him and Lexie loved it. "It feels so much better to be here with you as my company, would've been boring otherwise."

"I bet," Lexie replied with a giggle. Mark had been like a child ever since he ended the second phone call with Webber, basically ordering the chief of surgery that Lexie would be joining him. As expected, Webber had no objections to the matter and she was more than welcome to join the plastic surgeon on this adventure. The moment everything was set up, Mark had been floating on clouds, telling Lexie about everything they would do on the trip (aside from the conference) and all the classic sightseeings he would take her to. New York had always been his home and she was excited for Mark to be her private tour guide. "I'm excited for this trip."

"I'm glad," Mark said and squeezed her hand tighter. "It's gonna be great, Lex. Getting away for a few days, just you and me, and think of something else."

"I know it will," Lexie said and smiled at him. "I'm happy to be spending this weekend with you."

Silence fell between them as they both just smiled at one another. The sound of the wind outside and the hum from the motor in the car filled their ears, along with whatever song was playing on the radio. Lexie felt like they were back in that bubble again, the bubble which contained nothing but the two of them, the bubble where nothing in the outside world mattered. The only thing that mattered was the two of them. The best feeling in the world, according to Lexie Grey.

It didn't take long enough for the cab to approach downtown Manhattan, away from the high traffic on the bridge. Lexie glanced out the window and felt a wave of admiration for the city, it was _just_ like in the movies where the country girl arrives to the big city with hopes and dreams. New York was really as amazing as described by everyone. "Wow." She couldn't help it when the word escaped her, already, parted lips. Lexie was really amazed.

Mark chuckled as he watched Lexie with a cautious eye. He loved those moments when Lexie turned into a child on christmas morning and was just amazed by everything and everyone. He couldn't see her eyes, but he _knew_ it was the puppy eyes. The same puppy eyes that watched his surgery on Mrs. Patterson. That look was his favorite. "Amazed, are we?"

"Well, _yeah_ ," Lexie replied in a duh-tone of voice. "I mean, have you _seen_ this city?" Lexie didn't take her eyes off the streets and buildings passing by.

Another chuckle left him. "I have. I grew up here, remember?"

"Smartass," Lexie replied with a wave of her hand to tell him to be quiet. A huge building caught her eye, and the huge sign outside of it made her jaw drop. "Is that our hotel?"

"That's our hotel," Mark replied and had to smother a laugh. "I had Webber set us up in the nicest hotel in New York."

"I thought we were staying at the same hotel the conference is being held at?" Lexie remarked and finally glanced over to her fiancé, confusion written all over her face.

"That was the plan, but I figured we would get more privacy if we stayed at a hotel like a block or two away from the conference. And this is closer to Times Square and some great shopping places. We can still walk to the conference." Mark smiled at her and again squeezed her hand. He was genuinely proud of his decision.

"I like that," Lexie replied with a smile. They held eye contact for a moment before she leaned forward and gave Mark a peck on the lips.

"I figured you would," Mark commented once they pulled apart again. The taxi soon came to a stop outside the huge hotel and Lexie inhaled a breath before glancing out again. Mark quickly paid the cab driver and gave him a generous tip before thanking him and getting out of the cab.

After helping Lexie out and getting their luggage from the driver, they stood outside the entrance and just looked at the facade. Lexie was amazed to say the least, and Mark couldn't help but reminisce on some memories connected to this hotel. "You ready?" He finally asked and glanced down to Lexie who quickly met his gaze. A smile formed on her face before she nodded and took his larger hand in hers.

This was gonna be a great weekend.

—

Checking into the hotel was quick and easy. Once again Lexie felt like she was with a celebrity as Mark casually announced his name to the desk clerk and instructed them to put the tab on Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. Their room, _suite_ , was on the 29th floor, which Lexie thought was pretty high up. The worst part was that the hotel had 55 floors. This was about as classy as it could get and Lexie felt like a queen. Mark just smirked. After a long elevator ride, they were finally in their room and Lexie thought she was gonna faint the moment she entered. The suite was _huge_ to say the least, the bed was the biggest she'd ever seen and it looked so comfortable, the room was perfectly furnished with the bed, a couch, dining table and the mini fridge. It almost looked more like an apartment.

The door gently closed behind them and Lexie was in a trance when she just left her luggage on the floor and walked over to the wall sized window. Like Mark promised, the hotel had a perfect view over the city. If she looked closely, she could make out Central Park, and she couldn't wait to take a walk there. She was amazed to say the least and for a moment she was worried she was gonna start drooling if she didn't close her mouth soon. "This is amazing."

Mark had put their luggage away and casually removed his shoes as he watched Lexie by the window. He figured he would let her have this moment with New York and just get used to it before they began anything else. A chuckle escaped him as he slumped down on the bed and got comfortable on his back. His hands soon rested under the back of his head and he found himself closing his eyes. The flight had been smooth and easy, but the exhaustion was never inevitable. It was just nice to finally relax. "Get used to it, Lex. We're gonna be here for a while," he commented in a soft tone, inhaling a deep breath and exhaling calmly.

Lexie was speechless. A part of her really couldn't believe how Mark could ever decide to move away from here. He seemed so unaffected by the whole thing right now and she couldn't help but quickly imagine how his apartment looked like, she even bet it was a real penthouse. She made a mental note to ask him all about it later on. A heavy sigh left her as she tried to take everything in. New York was really a stunning city. Deciding she was done drooling about the amazing view, she turned around and quickly scanned the rest of the suite with her eyes before focusing on the gorgeous man resting on the bed. A loving smile formed on her face before slowly walking over to him. The bed was really huge and upon reaching the edge, she had to crawl all the way to his side where he was resting. "Thank you for this, Mark," she said warmly before laying down beside him, gracefully snuggling up close to him and letting out a sigh of comfort when one of his arms wrapped around her.

"Don't thank me, thank the chief," Mark remarked and smiled, his eyes still closed.

"Sure," Lexie replied, understanding what he meant. "But I know you're doing a lot extra about this for me, the private hotel, some upcoming sightseeing, just being alone. I really appreciate it." She was serious as she spoke and she meant every word.

Mark squeezed her arm gently and quickly kissed her forehead. "You're welcome, Little Grey. I'm just happy you're here with me."

"Me too," Lexie replied quietly and smiled as she rested her head against Mark's chest and just relaxed. If she were to die right now, this would be the perfect way to go.

"Ugh, I hate flying," Mark groaned out of nowhere and sighed heavily.

Lexie giggled quietly for a moment before replying. "Why?"

"Just hate it. It's crowded, either too hot or too cold, takes forever, you're just up there in the air with no place to go. I don't like it."

"Well, First Class was rather luxurious," Lexie commented. She'd never flown First Class before and was still on a high after being treated like a queen on the airplane, being served with delicious food and champagne, not to mention the comfortable seats. All for just being a passenger.

"That's because you're not used to it," Mark replied with a chuckle. "Just wait until you're a world known, fancy surgeon. You'll be flying First Class so much you'll be sick of it."

"As long as it means I can enjoy fancy hotel suites with you, I'm good." Lexie smiled lovingly at the thought of spending more time with Mark like this in the future.

"Agreed," Mark replied with a smile on his face as his arm wrapped tighter around his woman.

"But for now, you need to shower," Lexie commented with a more serious tone. She was very comfortable where she was right now, but they would have to get going to the conference soon. "You smell like airplane."

Mark huffed loudly at her remark. "And you don't?" He asked with a joking tone. "You better join me in the shower then, Little Grey."

"I would, but we don't have time for that. There's a conference, remember?" Lexie was tempted to accept his suggestion, but there would be more time for that _later_.

Mark sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. If only they could just skip that. "Oh, yeah… The conference."

Lexie giggled and nudged him gently. "Come on, the faster we get there, the faster we can come back here. Now get in the shower."

"Fine," Mark muttered in a joking tone and released Lexie before getting up. "But you're gonna clean yourself up too. I can't walk around with a slob at that conference."

Lexie eyed him for a moment, subconsciously tugging at her lower lip with her teeth. "Get that shirt off and head into the shower and we might have a deal." She figured she deserved some eye candy.

Mark grinned at the woman in his bed as he slowly started to unbutton his shirt, watching her eyes glued on him as he did so. If she wanted a show, he'd give her a show. "Deal."

—

About half an hour later, Lexie was kneeling in front of her open suitcase, gently roaming through her clothes and trying to figure out what to wear. She had come so far to put on a pair of black jeans and a bra, but she couldn't figure out how casual the outfit should be. Plain t-shirt? A dress shirt? Blouse? Cardigan? Hoodie?

"What do people wear to these events?" Lexie asked, having enough of her own confusion and decided to just ask the man who knew. She'd noticed how Mark dragged up a pair of black suit pants and a blazer, although he wore that kind of outfit on a regular basis so that wouldn't have to mean prom-theme.

Mark took a moment as he finished buttoning his pants, still shirtless. "Well," he started, pulling a little at the clothing to even out any and all creases. He quickly glanced towards Lexie, her back still turned to him, before made his way over. "Me and the other attendees will most probably wear something formal like a blazer and or a nice blouse. You-" he paused as his arms wrapped tightly around her, his chin resting on her shoulder. "You could pull off a trash bag."

Lexie could basically _hear_ the smirk on his face. "Wow, okay." She chuckled lightly and tried to gather herself. "A blouse it is, then," she added and turned her head to kiss him quickly. She was met with a smile and another quick kiss before he released her. The smile was evident on her face the whole time as she pulled out a dark red blouse and a nice cardigan. Dressing herself didn't take more than a minute and upon deciding she was done, she turned to Mark who was trying to choose between two pieces of clothes.

"Which one?" Mark asked and turned to Lexie as he held up one dark blue shirt and one lighter grey.

Lexie eyed the items carefully as she slowly walked towards him. Both of them were nice and he always looked stunning in whatever color he chose. Although one of them had an upper hand, according to Lexie. "Blue."

Mark frowned and glanced between the two, as if he wanted to let the shirts have the finale say. "Really?" He realized he'd had his mind set on the grey one.

"Yes," Lexie replied simply, offering him a smile and waited for him to put it on, although she did enjoy the sight of his naked upper body. "When in doubt, go with blue. It highlights your eyes."

A small laugh left his lips at his girlfriend's remark and he was reminded of another perk of being in a relationship with a woman. Fashion advice. "Alright, I'll remember that," he commented and smiled as he put the grey shirt down on the bed and casually dressed himself in the blue shirt. Mark buttoned it in record time before reaching for the 3 ties he brought in various colors. "Which one?" He asked, repeating his question from just moments ago as he held the items up for Lexie to see.

This time, Lexie didn't even think about it for a second. "None."

Mark frowned. "What?"

"You're not wearing a tie," Lexie stated and casually fixed the last details on his collar. "It's not _that formal_ , right? We're not going to the opera. You can pull it off without a tie."

Mark's frown quickly turned into a loving, amazed smile. "Alright, savage," he commented and chuckled as he put the ties down. After checking his suitcase and making sure he had everything, he made a small nod and turned back to the woman of his dreams. "Okay, then. I guess we're ready." He didn't wait for Lexie's confirmation before he turned and reached for his shoes and sat down on the bed, preparing to put them on.

Lexie smiled lovingly at the gorgeous man in front of her, subconsciously biting her lower lip for a moment before turning around to her purse. After taking a moment to reconsider, she gently started digging after the item she'd consciously hid in the bottom of the bag. Lexie had made the decision the morning after New York was decided, then she ripped apart a piece of paper before leaving for the airport, and while Mark was in the bathroom on the plane, she'd grabbed a pen and written something down on the piece of paper. And now she was finally ready.

"You ready to go?" Mark asked, done with his shoes and now just sitting on the bed while watching her.

"Yes," Lexie replied, her voice a bit distant as she eyed the piece of paper between her fingers. A small smile grew on her face and a moment later, she fisted the paper in her hand, effectively hiding it, before turning around. "But before we go," she started and took a few steps towards Mark, "there's something I want to give you," she finished, stopping right in front of him. The excitement filled her eyes and she could barely contain the smile on her face. Giving him no time to ask questions, she simply handed him the piece of paper.

Mark was eyeing her with a questionable look as he took the small item from her fingers. He gave it a quick look, his mind trying to determine what it was without even looking at it, before throwing a quick glance back at Lexie. She didn't say anything but her eyes simply told him to open it. With a sigh, he glanced back down to his hands and gently unfolded the carefully folded note, curious about what it was.

His confusion just grew at the sight of what was written on it. A date. Day and month, not that far away from today.

Mark frowned. "What happens then?" He asked gently and looked up at Lexie.

"Well," Lexie replied, dragging out the syllable just because. "If all goes as planned…" She paused for another moment, gathering herself to finally utter the words. "We'll get married that day."

Mark froze in his spot on the bed and for a brief moment, he feared that his heart had literally stopped beating in his chest. His eyes were big like golf balls as he just stared at the beautiful woman in front of him. Lexie wanted to marry him? Of course he knew it since she said yes to his proposal, but after everything they'd been through recently, he had just let the thought go while he waited for her to be ready. And now, that moment had finally arrived. She was ready, and concretely suggesting a date for their wedding. Was he dreaming?

Lexie frowned when Mark suddenly looked like a statue and the smile faded from her face. "If… If that's what yo-you want, of course." She rushed to redeem herself, fearing that she'd moved too fast. "Unless you wanna postpone it further, like th-that's alright too, I just- Mark, what are y-"

Lexie was cut off mid sentence when Mark suddenly stood up, with the widest smile on his face, wrapped his arms around Lexie's waist and lifted her up. The squeal she let out was like music to his ears and they both laughed together as Mark spun her around, only for him to then gently throw her onto the bed, his body following suit. They continued to laugh in happiness as their faces were merely inches from each other, breathing each other in and just _being happy_. Mark's hands moved up to cup her head as he gently started stroking her hair. Her arms around his neck tightened a bit and they both found happiness in each other's arms. Mark smiled lovingly at her and just felt at loss of what to say or do. "That day will be perfect," he started and kept stroking her hair. "Whatever I have on my schedule that day can be postponed, all I want is to marry you."

The smile was back on her face as Lexie just stared into Mark's gorgeous, blue eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Mark replied and didn't waste another second before leaning down to capture her perfect lips with his own. Lexie responded immediately, and on reflex Mark deepened the kiss at once and became more and more passionate. The mood grew intensely and he felt himself heating up more and more.

"Mark." Lexie tried to gently break what was going on. Not because she didn't want to, but because they were running out of time. "Mark, wait." She placed her hands on his shoulders, a silent motion to get him to stop what he was doing.

"What?" Mark asked as he pulled away, concern written all over his face.

Lexie couldn't help but laugh a little at the clueless look on his face. "We can't, we're already running late. We gotta get going."

"Ugh," Mark groaned and closed his eyes in annoyance as he ducked his head. He'd once again completely forgotten about the conference and now wished they could just skip it and spend the evening in bed. "Did you really have to announce this _right_ before we had to leave?" He was joking of course, and it only made Lexie giggle.

"Come on," Lexie replied with a smile and made a move to get Mark off of her so they could get going. "The faster we get there, the faster we can come back here." They smiled at each other as Mark moved away from her and stood up, taking her by the hand and helping her to her feet. As they stood there in silence, just watching each other and just being close, that bubble feeling surrounded them again. That wonderful feeling that the world contained only the two of them, that nothing mattred but Mark and Lexie.

Lexie looked deeply into Mark's eyes and wondered if that feeling would be permanent once they got married.


	30. Chapter 30

**I am so excited to deliver this few upcoming chapters because things will take some turns again and I just can't wait to share it with you! I've been trying to not divide the chapters that much and try to fit as much as possible in each chapter, but I just can't. All of a sudden I'm up to like 3000 words and realize I need to split things up anyway. Hopefully you won't mind. But just so you know we'll be staying in New York with these two for a few more chapters. And this one and next one will be a bit teasing about what's _really_ about to come. I assume some of you already have expected it.  
** **Anyway, enough rambling. Hope you enjoy this chapter and as always, don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Lexie couldn't stop staring at the building before her as they exited the cab. The hotel the conference was being held at might have been slightly bigger than the hotel they were staying at this weekend. While Mark paid the cab driver, Lexie took the moment to just stare at the huge building and try to get used to the sight. She didn't want to embarrass Mark by fainting right outside. At this point, she would have to act like a hot shot surgeon who was used to attending these fancy events, how hard could it be?

"Ready, Fiancé?" Mark asked as he came up beside her, placing his hand on the small of her back. The new nickname made him smile and he found himself looking at Lexie with a whole new glow in his eyes.

"Ready," Lexie replied softly and smiled lovingly as she looked up and met his eyes. She was slightly surprised that Mark was able to contain himself since she interrupted his plans in the hotel room. But both knew that there would be plenty of time for a 'second engagement' celebration once they got back to the hotel.

Mark sighed softly and gently took her hand in his larger one. He squeezed it tightly once before leading her towards the entrance of the hotel, the huge building in front of them getting bigger and bigger as they got closer. To his surprise, he found himself getting excited about this conference despite what he really wanted to do with Lexie right now. A tingling feeling was growing in the pit of his stomach about being able to finally, for real, present Lexie as his soon-to-be wife. There was something about it that made him feel like a child on Christmas morning. He really loved Lexie Grey to the moon and back.

Once inside, they were greeted by the sound of the big crowd talking with each other, along with the sound of glasses clicking together in cheers. It was a huge lobby filled with servers, walking around with plates of appetizers and champagne, not to mention all the attendees. Mark quickly scanned the place and wasn't late to recognize a few well known faces. People he had been working with in New York and some people he went to medical school with. There was a sense of familiarity around the place and it made Mark calm. A small smile found it's way onto his face and he glanced down at Lexie with excitement filling his whole body. He could just hope that she would feel the same way. "Shall we?"

Lexie just smiled widely at the man she loved more than anything. The excitement in his eyes was contagious and she felt a tingling feeling in her stomach upon watching him, she felt at home here already, only friendly people who were out having a good time while actually _working_. She immediately got a taste for these things and she was already looking forward to the next time she would attend a medical conference. As long as she had Mark by her side the whole time. "Lead the way, Doctor Sloan."

With a slight tug on her hand, Mark lead her into the huge hotel as they both took in their surroundings. It didn't take long until the first waitress approached them with a tray of champagne. Lexie blinked once and suddenly she had a glass in her hand as she heard Mark thank the waitress. Her hand was still tightly secured in his larger one, and they slowly started making their way deeper inside the building. There were people everywhere, but Lexie didn't mind. She felt safe with Mark.

"Oh my God, Mark Sloan?" A woman's voice suddenly broke Lexie's trance, stopping Mark in his tracks and turning around just in time to come face to face with the unfamiliar woman.

"Hello, Nancy," Mark replied with a huge smile on his face, slightly letting go of Lexie to greet the older woman in front of them. "How are you?"

"I am wonderful, thank you!" The woman, Nancy, had a huge smile on her face the whole time as she greeted Mark. They shook hands for a good few seconds until she glanced to Lexie, a curious look filling her eyes. "And who is this beautiful lady?"

Mark could barely contain his excitement as he glanced to Lexie with loving eyes. He was so ready to present Lexie to everyone he knew. "This beautiful lady," he said, a smile forming as he repeated Nancy's earlier words. "is my fiancé, Lexie Grey. Lexie, this is Doctor Nancy Herman, an old colleague from New York."

Lexie smiled politely at the older woman as she shook her hand. They hadn't been here 5 minutes and she was already greeting Mark's former colleagues. The excitement grew inside her at the realization. "Hello."

"Fiancé?" Nancy asked in surprise as she glanced between the couple before her. "Well how about that? Congratulations! Wow, Mark Sloan, getting hitched. I honestly thought pigs would fly before that would ever happen."

"Who knows?" Mark asked, shrugging with a chuckle. "Maybe pigs are flying all over New York as we speak," he joked.

"Grey?" Nancy suddenly asked, her brows furrowing together in part confusion as she glanced to Lexie again. "As in Ellis Grey?"

Of course, Lexie figured. With her last name being Grey there would be inevitable mix up that she was related to Meredith's mother. Lexie didn't mind though. "Well, partly," Lexie replied, ready to clear things up. "It's my dad's name and he was married to Ellis. But my half-sister Meredith is her daughter."

Nancy replied with a look of understanding, followed by a warm smile. "I see. Are you a surgeon as well?"

"Surgical resident," Lexie clarified, returning the smile. "Third year."

"Really? Have you glanced towards a speciality yet?"

"Plastics, of course," Mark chimed in with a smirk. "What else?" He nudged Lexie in the side and winked when she glared at him.

"Actually," Lexie said, dragging the syllables out before looking back at Nancy. "I've been thinking about neuro." She heard Mark scoff jokingly at her remark and it only made her smile.

"Neuro? Then you're lucky to be working under Derek Shepherd," Nancy replied with a knowing smile. "Speaking of whom, is he still working in Seattle?"

"He is," Mark confirmed with a nod. "He was actually with me on the trip to Africa. Sadly he couldn't make it for this conference."

"Aw, well you'll have to give him my best."

"I sure will," Mark said and smiled.

Silence fell between the three for a moment before Nancy glanced down to her watch. "Well, I better get going. But I'm really excited to hear your speech tomorrow, Mark. Africa must've been really inspiring and teaching. And nice to meet you, Lexie. I wanna hear more about you later on."

"Absolutely," Mark and Lexie replied in unison, both being caught of guard for a moment before the looked at each other, giggling.

"Wow, you really are a couple," Nancy remarked with a laugh before she waved them goodbye and walked away.

"Nice woman," Lexie remarked as they started walking deeper into the hotel.

"She is," Mark replied and took Lexie's hand again. "She always had good advice to give both me and Derek when we were residents. A very wise woman."

"I can only hope you'll forward those 'good advice' to me later on," Lexie remarked with a light giggle.

"You bet."

"Well, well, well, who do we have here?" A man's voice suddenly appeared and the owner of the voice shortly appeared in front of them.

Mark only looked at the man before them for a moment before smiling widely. "Well, well, well. If it isn't John Parker."

Lexie only smiled as she watched the two men greet each other with a hug and quick hand shake. They shortly shared pleasantries before Mark turned to her. "John, this is my fiancé Doctor Lexie Grey. Lex, I'd like you to meet my old classmate from residency and later on, colleague at New York Pres; John Parker."

"Hello," Lexie greeted and politely shook hands with the man called John. She figured she would have to repeat all of this the whole weekend.

"Grey? You don't happen to be related to Ellis Grey, do you?" John smiled warmly at Lexie before glancing towards Mark.

"No, I'm not. But my half-sister Meredith is," Lexie replied with a smile.

"Ah, and she's a surgeon as well I assume."

"She is. She's a resident at Seattle Grace like me."

John smiled and glanced to Mark. "And what, she's dating Shepherd or something?" He joked.

Mark grinned. "They're married."

The expression on Doctor Parker's face suddenly changed. "No way. Really? The two Grey sisters are dating each of you?"

The three of them all laughed and Lexie had to stop herself from referring to Mark and Derek as the 'McBrothers'. They could discuss all of that later. "That's correct," Mark confirmed with a nod, placing his hand on Lexie's back.

"Wow, I really need to hear more of that. You should join me and a few other colleagues for drinks later tonight! Tell us all about your life in Seattle."

Mark visibly tensed for a moment. "That would be fun, but I'm not sur-"

"He would love to join you," Lexie interrupted, knowing exactly that Mark was about to decline the offer. She could feel his eyes on her and turned to him with a smile. "I'll be fine, go out and catch up with some old friends."

"You're welcome to join us as well, you know," Doctor Parker pointed out with a chuckle.

Lexie turned back to Mark's ex-colleague with a raised eyebrow. She hadn't considered that. A moment of thinking passed before she glanced back at Mark, as if she was asking for permission.

"Come with us, Lex." He gave her the McSteamy eyes. The eyes that he knew she could never turn down.

"You sure?" Lexie still wasn't sure.

"Yes."

"I know _I_ wanna get to know the woman who tamed Mark Sloan," John chimed in with an inviting smile.

Lexie glanced between the men for a moment and smiled at the inviting looks both of them gave her. Deep down she wasn't so sure about meeting more about Mark's old colleagues and friends since she knew how it ended last time. But this felt safe. "Alright, I'll come with you. But I wanna hear all about Mark's adventures as a resident," she ordered with a pointing finger, causing the two men to laugh and Mark to nudge her in the side.

"Deal," John replied with a nod.

"Okay so that's settled then," Mark said. "Now we better keep going before Parker starts spoiling some stories," he added with a laugh and placed his hand on Lexie's back, effectively getting her to start walking. "We'll catch up with you later and head out."

"Looking forward to it," Parker replied and waved them goodbye before they separated.

Mark laughed lightly and started walking with Lexie again. "You're gonna love my friends, Little Grey. They're all awesome and friendly." He gently grabbed her hand again and squeezed it knowingly. They both knew what he wasn't saying; _They're not all like_ him.

"I know," Lexie replied softly, squeezing his hand back and offering him a small smile.

The two of them walked in silence as they made their way through the crowd of people to reach deeper inside the building. Mark quickly greeted some people he recognized and seemed to be on a mission to find people he knew more. They briefly stopped a few times to make quick small talk with people and Mark happily kept introducing Lexie as his fiancé, while she had to keep explaining to the former colleagues that she wasn't related to Ellis Grey. And she was surprised to find it more amusing than annoying. About half an hour passed before the confrencier took place on the stage and held a short welcome speech. Merely anyone paid the older man any attention, they just kept greeting old colleagues and discussing medical successes.

As Lexie tried to focus on taking in her surroundings and enjoy herself with Mark, a weird feeling creeped up on her. A feeling that settled in the pit of her stomach and made her just feel… weird. Exposed. As if she was being watched or followed. She cautiously turned her head to take a glance around the place, trying to see if someone was watching her. But she found none. The feeling didn't go away though and it started to mess with her head. Her hand subconsciously gripped Mark's slightly tighter and she found herself closing the gap between them. Mark didn't respond particularly except for squeezing her hand in return. Was she being watched? Or was it just an overwhelming feeling about being in this place with so many unfamiliar people? Whatever it was, her head was messing with her.

"Lex?" Mark's voice suddenly brought her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"I said that the man on the podium is a stubborn jerk," Mark pointed out. She had clearly tuned out and didn't catch his words the first time.

"Oh." She tried to get her mind back on track and pay more attention to Mark's comments. But she couldn't get rid of that creepy feeling. She slowly glanced around the place again to make sure no one was watching her like it felt.

"You okay?" Mark asked in a cautious tone.

"Uhm…" Lexie wasn't sure what to do, she didn't want to alarm Mark without a reason and she was sure her mind was just messing with her. It was probably just jetlag and tension about being here, but she really didn't feel like joining Mark and his friends later tonight and she started to miss the safety of their hotel room. "You know what?" She started as she turned her head back to her soon-to-be husband. "I'm not feeling too great, so I'm just gonna head back to the hotel."

Mark looked at her with concerned eyes, his hand gently resting on her cheek. "Okay, I'll go with you. We can leave early."

"No," Lexie replied gently and tried to smile at him. "I'll be fine by myself. It's just jetlag and dehydration. You go out with your friends and I'll see you later." She really wanted him to spend time with his old friends. It wasn't like she was dying or anything so she would be fine for real.

"You sure?" Mark was still unsure.

"Yes, I'm sure." Lexie smiled at him and gripped his hand to remove it from her cheek. "Just promise me you'll tell me all about your residency later," she added and quickly kissed him before slowly starting to back away, ready to head out. "I'll take a walk back to the hotel, see you later." She barely had time to turn around before Mark stopped her.

"Actually," Mark said as he placed is hand on her shoulder. When she turned around, he quickly shoved his hand into his pocket, digging for some cash. "I'd feel much better if you took a cab." He laughed nervously and finally found a 50, giving it a quick look before handing it to Lexie. "Not to alarm you or anything but you never know."

Lexie smiled at the man before her, taking hold of the money he offered and placed it in her pocket. "Okay. I'll see you later."

"Feel better, I'll be back early and we can finish what we started." Mark said as she started to walk away. "And if you need anything just call me, alright!" He had to call out the last part and was responded with a quick wave and a smile. He chuckled lightly and smiled to himself before he headed the other way, silently deciding that he would only have a few drinks and get back to Lexie as fast as possible.

—

God, if only the hallway could stop swaying.

That was the thought that ran through Mark's head before he had to remind himself for the thirtieth time that the hallway wasn't swaying at all. He was just drunk. What was supposed to be just _a few_ drinks turned out to be so many more when he and the old colleagues got deeper and deeper in conversations and the topics just traveled from casual work to future plans. Mark ended up telling his friends the whole story of him and Lexie while hearing about his friends' respective families and love stories. They all agreed that looking back to their residency years, none of them would ever believe that all these years later, they would meet again and discuss their family lives. Least of all Mark Sloan. Despite everything, he had a good time and ended up losing track of both time and amount of consumed alcohol. Hence, being drunk at 2.30am and barely knowing how to walk a straight line. Needless to say, he should've gone home when Lexie did.

Mark had his own key card while Lexie took the spare one before they left, and thankfully the number of his hotel room was written on it, otherwise he feared he wouldn't have found the correct room. Upon reaching the door, he glanced back down to the card for the hundredth time to compare the numbers to the ones on the door, only to make sure he was at the right room. With a drunken nod to no one in particular, he moved his hand to unlock the door when the realization suddenly hit him like a bolt of lighting. _He was drunk_. What would Lexie think about that? He already knew she had issues with alcohol since the rape and he had figured out long time ago that whenever he was drinking, she feared that he would lose control over himself and try to force himself on her. Her fears held no ground of course, but he respected her enough to control himself anyway.

Up until now, apparently.

"Damn it," Mark whispered to himself as he leaned against the door. What was he supposed to do now? He was obviously drunk, there was no way to fake it, but he couldn't really find another place to sleep. Lexie was still expecting him and there would only be questions in the morning if he didn't return like he was supposed to. After a moment of considering several options, he decided to go for it anyway, hoping that she would be asleep and he could sneak into bed quietly enough not to wake her up. Knowing his drunk self, he knew it was a long shot, but he had to try.

About four attempts later, the card finally fit into the lock and the unlocking sound told him that the room was now free to enter. With a swaying hand, he managed to open the door as quietly as he could, which in reality wasn't all that quiet, and slowly took a step inside. The room was dark and quiet aside from Lexie's breathing and the slight light from his bedside lamp. A small smile found it's way onto his face at the sight, causing him to slack with his caring and accidentally let go of the door too early. The door ended up slamming shut way too loud for the quiet room and it didn't take long for Lexie to wake up with a jump as Mark cursed in a harsh whisper. None of this was going according to plan.

"Mark?" Lexie asked sleepily as she lifted herself up on her elbow, her other hand rubbing her tired eyes to get a better sight. Her eyes quickly scanned the room and upon focusing on Mark, a small smile appeared on her face. "Hey."

"Hi," Mark replied quietly, moving his foot to steady himself as he slightly lost his balance. His eyes were focused on anything but her. The shame made him feel like a dog.

The smile on Lexie's face quickly faded as she scanned his body language and figured out what was going on. He was ashamed, his whole body was swaying and he reeked of alcohol. "You're drunk."

A heavy sigh left Mark at he remark. He knew there was no way around it and she would always be able to call him out on it. "Yeah," he replied in a quiet tone of shame.

Lexie eyed him for a moment before mirroring his sigh and moved off the bed. She didn't look at him as she got to her feet and headed for the window.

"Lex, I'm sorry," Mark said in a rushed voice, ready to redeem himself and try to make things right. "I lost track of time and we kept talking about everything and anything and I just… Just forgot. I didn't think clearly and they kept ordering drink after drink and shot after shot. I'm sorry, I should've called you but-"

"Shut up," Lexie interrupted him in a soft tone as she opened the mini fridge beside the window and reached for a bottle of water. On her way back, she stopped by her suitcase and collected an aspirin and some vitamins. Her eyes were soft as she walked back to the bed and gave him a knowing look. "Come on, get in bed and swallow these."

Mark frowned at his fiancé as he glanced between her and the bed. She wasn't mad at him? When she kept glaring at him he figured he would just do as she said. A sigh left him before he kicked off his shoes and laid down on the bed, not bothering to remove his clothes. The sleeves were already rolled up and he had opened up a few button on his shirt, as comfy as a dress shirt could get.

"Here," Lexie said and handed him the water and the pills, gracefully climbing in bed beside him as she watched him swallow the pills. She laid down close beside him and couldn't help herself when her fingers moved up to just gently touch his arm. "If I allow myself to move closer, you won't do anything, right?" She had no idea where the sudden fear came from, if it had anything to do with the creepy feeling earlier or that she just hadn't gotten over everything just yet. But something about this situation held her back.

Mark tensed for a moment, slowly removing the water bottle from his lips and swallowed before glancing down at her. "No," he replied simply with a soft voice. No matter how drunk Mark Sloan would become, he would never ever even think about forcing himself on a woman. "Never."

"Okay." Lexie nodded before moving herself even closer to Mark, allowing his arm to wrap around her while she placed her arm over his torso. She noticed Mark was about to put the bottle away and smiled a little. "No, finish it."

Mark frowned. "You want me to finish this whole bottle of water?"

"Yes," she stated simply. "Trust me, you'll feel better in the morning."

"Alright, fine," Mark replied with a sigh and finished the whole bottle. "Are you feeling better?" He asked softly and placed the empty bottle on the nightstand, remembering that she didn't feel good earlier tonight.

Lexie tensed slightly, debating with herself if she should tell him about the feelings she had. Although she was sure it was nothing to worry about, that it was just a combination of jetlag and overwhelming. Despite everything she really did feel better. "Yeah, some sleep and relaxing will do."

"Good, it's gonna be a long day tomorrow," Mark stated and tightened his grip around Lexie's body.

"Will you be alert enough for your big speech?" Lexie asked teasingly and smirked as she closed her eyes.

Mark scoffed jokingly and smiled as he too closed his eyes, preparing himself for sleep to take over. "I'll be fine, Little Grey."

"Good. Did you have a good time out with your friends?"

"I did. I told them everything about us and how amazing you are." Mark sighed lovingly and kissed the top of her head.

"That's nice." Lexie felt herself drifting off to sleep and moved her hand slightly so it rested on top of Mark's heart, the feeling of the beating in his chest sending her a rush of comfort. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Mark replied in a whisper. "Now go back to sleep."

"Mhm," Lexie murmured as she was slowly drifting off to sleep.

They stayed just like that for a few minutes before Lexie's heavy breathing alerted Mark to the fact that she was now asleep again. Although he really couldn't sleep just yet, uncertain if it was because of the alcohol or something else entirely. Despite being tired, he just couldn't find himself to close his eyes and let sleep take over completely. Something was keeping him awake, with his thoughts running around his head.


	31. Chapter 31

**Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter. Although I was slightly disappointed to see that there were a lot fewer than previous chapters... Not sure if I might have lost a few readers due to my slow updates :( But I hope the upcoming chapters will get them back, because you're in for a ride.  
** **I'm sorry if you feel that this chapter isn't the same quality as others, but I just needed to get the story forward. I've thrown out some hints into this one, and I'd be sooooo happy if you wanna leave a review and tell me what your theories for this are! Things will clear up soon but not just yet.  
** **Next chapter will be the last one in New York before we go back to Seattle, I'm excited for that really fluffy one.  
Let me know what you think! Enjoy! :D**

* * *

The room was spinning less now.

At least that's what Mark was trying to tell himself, he tried to convince himself that the whole bottle of water that Lexie made him drink would start working and absorb some of the alcohol in his body, making him less and less drunk. He knew he should be sleeping, let the unconsciousness take over and hopefully take the intoxication with it so he could wake up fresh and sober. It was a long shot of course, considering he wasn't 20 anymore, but he could hope. Too bad he couldn't fall asleep.

He also tried to convince himself that it was _in fact_ the alcohol that was keeping him awake right now. If that had been the truth, he would've been holding on steadily to Lexie right now, snuggled up close to her while letting the warmth from her body surround him like a cloud, and listened to her soft breathing until sleep took over for him. But since he was clearly lying to himself, all he could do was lay on his back, one arm wrapped loosely around Lexie's body - too afraid she would freak out and push him away - and stare up at the ceiling. He jokingly remembered that he would've _loved_ to be on his back staring at the ceiling right at this moment, but definitely not like this.

Mark wasn't even sure why he was awake at the moment, although his mind did have a habit of working overdrive when it was surrounded with poison like alcohol, but he really didn't have anything to be thinking about. Lexie wasn't freaked out about his drunken state like he'd expected and things were going great at the moment. Although he would be lying if things didn't freak him out.

 _Maybe that was it_.

Things were going so great right now and he was scared that it will change soon. That something is gonna happen that will turn everything upside down.

A soft sound from Lexie made him turn his head gently and look down at her. The only thing he could see was the top of her head and her eyelashes, but she was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life. He allowed himself to tighten his grip on her slightly and gently squeeze her smooth arm, cautious not to wake her up in the process. It calmed him to see her so relaxed, knowing that she was sleeping well without any worrying or bad dreams. Lexie was slowly getting over what happened when he was away and aiming to let it go altogether, move on and find happiness in the future. She had taken so many steps forward lately and he was so proud of her. The pride of how far she'd come was completely taking over his anger and devastation about being lied to for so long. He knew he had no right whatsoever to be angry at her about that, but he felt so betrayed that she didn't seem to trust him enough to let him know when something was wrong, she hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt and he was still wondering what he did to deserve that. What would make her believe that he wouldn't even believe that she was raped? What part of her brain would even think that he would be convinced that rape was just a lame excuse to be forgiven about sleeping with another man and thus cheating on him? He would probably never get answers to those questions, and he wasn't interested in having that conversation with her. Mark constantly tried to push those thoughts aside and focus on the here and now, but sometimes he wasn't the one in charge of his own brain.

Everything was fine now, though. She had told him the whole truth and he did believe her. There was no doubt in his mind that she would lie to him, that it was indeed a lame excuse and that she really did sleep with Wilson on purpose just because he was absent for a few months. Lexie wouldn't do that, and Mark believed her.

The room started spinning again, causing Mark to groan slightly and close his eyes tightly. _Never again_ , he thought to himself before slowly maneuvering himself to let go of Lexie without waking her up, and then quietly get out of bed. When his feet touched the floor he stayed seated for a moment, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and placed his head in his hands. He focused on a specific point between his feet and just breathed. Deep breath in, hold it for 3 seconds, slow breath out. Repeat.

The sound of the traffic outside wouldn't calm down. Which didn't even surprise him because New York was indeed the city that never sleeps. What surprised him was that it bothered him. He'd grown so used to calm and somewhat quiet during the night, unless he caused some noise himself, so now traffic during night really was disturbing his sleep. Or was it the alcohol again that just made the noise louder? Despite slightly despising the invention of the car, he slowly got to his feet and allowed them to guide him across the floor. The soft rug was like massage for his feet and he considered just walking around the room, hoping he could fall asleep standing up.

Nevertheless and without giving it a thought, he was suddenly standing by the wall sized window, the light of the city and shimmering of the moon lighting up his face and almost making him wince. New York was really a beautiful city and he could understand why Lexie was so amazed by the whole thing. Coming to this place for the first time would sure make anyone faint at the sight, but he was happy to have been growing up here despite his crappy childhood.

Placing his forearm against the window, he slightly leaned against it and casually glanced down. The cars and the people were so small they looked like ants. Yet it were so many people he couldn't even begin to count everyone. He briefly wondered why all these people were awake so late and where they were going, for a moment forgetting that he had been one of them less than an hour ago, and even more so a few years back. The thought made him smirk and let out a soft chuckle.

"Are you still awake?"

Lexie's soft voice made him slightly jump in his spot, hurling him out of his thoughts and almost making his heart stop. Turning around, he swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to calm down. Her soft brown eyes were staring at him with concern and he wondered how long she'd been awake. "Yeah, uhm… Just couldn't sleep."

Lexie tilted her head and smiled sadly at him before reaching out her hand. "Come here."

Not knowing what else to do, Mark did as he was told. Letting his feet guide him back to the warm bed, he locked eyes with Lexie for a brief moment and could feel the love radiating from her whole being. Soon enough he was back by the bed and gently laid himself down, allowing Lexie to decide on a comfortable position for her before joining her. Mark was slightly surprised when she placed herself so he could rest his head in the crook of her shoulder, a position that was somewhat reserved to be used in the opposite way. But he would never deny the comfort she offered him and upon realizing he needed just that right now, he offered her a smile and laid down just the way she wanted it. Soon enough his head was tucked under hers, his ear close enough to catch her pulse and his arm placed over her waist while the covers were pulled up over the two of them. This was a nice change and he realized that this is how he wanted the night ot end all along. This way he could 'hold on' to Lexie and steady himself while the room kept spinning, and he was once again reminded of why she always wanted someone to stroke her hair when she was hurt when he felt her soft ones running through his hair and gently massaging his scalp. Closing his eyes, he let out a slow breath and decided to focus on Lexie while waiting for sleep to take him away.

"Just relax," Lexie whispered softly. "Everything is fine. I'm fine, you're fine, we're fine. I'm not mad at you, and I know you would never do anything to hurt me. So don't worry about it, okay?" She paused for a moment, letting her words sink in before kissing the top of Mark's head. "I love you, Mark."

Mark found solace in Lexie's embrace and found himself relaxing more and more. Her soft words touched his soul and he gently turned his head to kiss her exposed skin. "I love you, too," he whispered.

"Get some sleep now, big day tomorrow." Her voice was low and she rested her chin on the top of his head.

He didn't reply. He just simply moved slightly so he was more comfortable and allowed himself to relax completely, focusing on the warmth from Lexie's body, her arms surrounding him, her fingers in his hair and the soft sound of her breathing and heartbeat.

And just like that, sleep was approaching in rapid speed, soon enough dragging him into dream land and taking him away from reality for a while.

—

"You doing okay?" Lexie asked in a teasing tone and a smirk as they walked around the crowd at the conference the next day. Mark hadn't seemed specially hungover this morning, but he had been quiet and seemed tired. Lexie proudly thought that drinking the whole bottle of water along with some vitamins actually helped.

"I'm fine," Mark replied softly, taking a sip of his water. Like yesterday they were offered champagne and there was an open bar for verified attendees, but Mark just winced at the thought of more alcohol and Lexie didn't feel like drinking if Mark wasn't.

"You're getting up there soon," Lexie remarked and glanced to the stage where a cardio surgeon was talking at the moment, some speech about cardiovascular diseases. She was excited about Mark's speech and it annoyed her that he hadn't let her in on his manuscript or even hinted a little bit about what he was gonna say.

"I am." Mark followed Lexie's gaze and suddenly felt nervous. This was why he allowed Derek to go to this, Mark secretly hated to talk in front of bigger crowds. But this was part of the job and he had Lexie to support him. "Not as groundbreaking as this cardiovascular thing but…"

Lexie looked at Mark and frowned. "Sure but it's still important. It's part of the life saving and you and Derek did a tremendous job over there. That's worth talking about and celebrating."

"I know." Mark nodded and offered Lexie a smile, remembering why he brought her to this. Whenever he needed support or a little kick in the butt, Lexie was the person to ask.

"Mark!" John Parker suddenly approached the couple with a huge smile on his face.

"John!" Mark replied with a smile and greeted his friend with a hand shake. "Thank you for last night!"

"Ah, my pleasure, Sloan," John said and glanced at Lexie. "Mark told us you went back to your hotel because you didn't feel good. Are you doing better now?"

Lexie smiled politely at the older surgeon and nodded. "Yes, I'm better now, thanks. I'm sorry I didn't get to hear any stories about your residency." She laughed lightly when Mark cleared his throat beside her and she realized he didn't want her to hear anything.

John caught up and laughed while shaking his head at Mark. "Well he was a stud, that's for sure. And it's still a mystery to me how he even got through all those years since he was always out partying when he should've been studying or practicing surgical procedures. He always said that he didn't need any of that because he would always rely on his good looks, charm and the brilliance that pops off the top of his head."

"Yeah," Mark said and laughed before shaking his head at his friend's last remark. "Because it always works."

Lexie glanced between the men and then glared at Mark with a knowing look as she realized something. "Is that why you haven't let me look at your manuscript for your speech? Because you don't _have_ one?" Mark looked at her sideways and winked at her, causing her to scoff jokingly and look back at his friend. "Mystery, huh?"

"Bigger mystery than Bigfoot," John replied and laughed.

"He really is an enigma," Lexie added while shaking her had at the man she was about to marry.

Mark sighed and checked his watch, realizing he had to get ready since it was his turn to get on the stage soon with his highly improvised speech, only using a few key words written down on a piece of paper. "I better get going, my turn to enter the stage soon and I need to prepare." He looked up between Lexie and his friend and smiled when they glared at him.

"Prepare for what?" John asked with a sarcastic tone and shook his head. "Improvising?"

"You're just jealous," Mark joked and took a step closer to Lexie, leaning down to give her a soft kiss. "Try not to fall asleep now, okay?"

Lexie smiled at him once they pulled apart and just shook her head. "Oh, I'm sure you'll find some way to keep me awake. You always do." She watched Mark smile at her while he turned and walked away, slightly already missing him even though he wasn't going anywhere. "Good luck," she called after him, causing Mark to turn back quickly and wave at her before disappearing behind the curtains.

"Come on, Doctor Grey," John said and gently placed his hand on Lexie's shoulder. "Let's get a table and await the master lecturer." Lexie smiled at the older man's joke and followed him to one of the tables. John placed his glass of scotch on the table and Lexie held her water close to her while it resting on the table as well. Silence fell between the two and Lexie decided to glance around the place and take in her surroundings.

There were a few people from yesterday that she recognized now, Nancy Herman among others. The older woman had caught her attention right away. Mark seemed to like her a lot and she couldn't help but wonder if there ever had been anything more between them than just co-working. Not that it mattered to Lexie but she was curious to what sort of relationship Mark had with these people. There was so much about Mark that she still didn't quite know about and she was conflicted about it. The thought had occurred her to just ask him, but the opportunity hadn't presented itself yet. But she was sure there would be time for that later on.

Turning her head back the other way, she remembered that weird feeling from yesterday. The feeling of being watched or followed. Was that even correct? While looking around she didn't spot anyone looking at her in a weird way and she couldn't recognize anyone that had been right behind her earlier. Thus no one was watching her or stalking her. Nothing to worry about.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the woman on the stage announced in the microphone, effectively getting everyone's attention. "I'd like you all to welcome our next speaker. I assume no further presentation is needed, please welcome; Doctor Mark Sloan."

Lexie smiled widely and joined the crowd in applauding as Mark entered the stage. Once again it felt like she was dating a celebrity when she noticed how everyone's attention was drawn to the man she loved more than anything in this world. As Mark placed a piece of paper in front of him and adjusted the microphone, he glanced to Lexie and the two made eye contact for a short moment. Mark cleared his throat and slightly pulled at the sleeves of his blazer before winking at Lexie, causing her to grin and look down at the floor. Mark inhaled a deep breath before glancing over the crowd and preparing himself to speak.

"Thank you! Uhm…" He casually glanced down to his notes and chuckled before looking up again. "Great to be here, with uhm, plumbing, electricity and water - A few months ago me and my best friend, who also happens to be my colleague, got this huge opportunity to go to Africa. It was an offer we had to think about a lot before accepting, considering we both have girlfriends who we just couldn't leave behind. We both knew the trip was risky since we were going to help out in a war zone, but the trip was also really important. And as expected, the trip came with a lot of risks and we even suffered some incidents while working there." He paused for a moment and swallowed, glancing down at his notes again and preparing himself for the next part. He could feel Lexie's eyes on him but he couldn't bare himself to meet her eyes. It was too painful. "During an unexpected attack, we lost some newfound colleagues and friends, and the whole thing made us realize the importance of safety, both for ourselves and our patients. Things we take for granted today, right here, such as clean scalpels, hygienic gown and gloves, and simple pain meds, are something we had to make do without. Needless to say it was one of my worst _and_ best experience of my life, but at least I know how to perform a carotid endarterectomy in the dark with a straw as a tube." The crowd laughed with him as he smiled and glanced down at his notes again. This was going great. "The medical budget we had in Africa was strained to say the least. And what my colleague and I learned was the importance of…"

"Here you go, miss." Lexie was suddenly interrupted when a waitress placed a drink on the table right in front of her. She had been so deep in her trance and everything happened so quickly. Lexie hadn't ordered a drink, but the waitress disappeared before Lexie had time to register what happened and let the waitress know that there must've been some kind of mistake. She opened her mouth to speak but the waitress was already too far away. With a frown, she glanced down to the pink fluids and eyed it carefully. Raspberry Collins. One of her favorite drinks. She had already lost count of all the times Mark had invited her to Joe's after work and that drink had already been placed on their table when she arrived. Lexie couldn't stop wondering who ordered this and if it could be for her.

All of a sudden she felt that weird feeling in the pit of her stomach again. Just like yesterday, it felt like someone was watching her. Mark's speech on the stage was tuned out as she casually tried to glance around the place after whomever might be watching her, but just like yesterday, she didn't find anyone she recognized or found someone staring at her weirdly. The whole thing didn't make sense and it was starting to freak her out.

"You okay?" John asked gently and placed a hand on her arm, bringing her back to reality.

Lexie looked back at the older surgeon with wide eyes before shaking herself back to reality. "Uhm, yeah I'm fine." She looked back at the drink and stared at it intensely, as if it somehow would give her answers. "Just trying to figure out who ordered this for me."

"Maybe you have a secret admirer," John said with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood with a joke.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Lexie murmured quietly.

"Heeeeeey, there he is!" John suddenly exclaimed and greeted Mark as he returned to the table. "Very well improvised, Doctor Sloan."

"Thank you, Doctor Parker," Mark replied with a grin, greeting a few people quickly who approached him to congratulate him on a good speech. Mark held the convos really short and soon turned to Lexie. "Hey."

"Hi," Lexie replied nervously, shoving her hands into her pockets to hide the shaking. She tried to fake a smile in order to not alarm him. "Uhm, great speech."

"Thanks." Mark just stared at her with intense eyes that sparked with love and excitement. His hand moved up to touch her cheek and she leaned into his touch. "What do you say we get out of here and back to the hotel? Just stay inside for the rest of the evening."

Lexie stared into his eyes and felt a wave of relief just wash her away. She wanted nothing more than to get out of this place and back to the warmth and safety of Mark's arms. She was fully aware what was waiting back in their room, but she was actually welcoming it, she _needed_ him. "I'd like that."

A smile formed on Mark's face and he gently caressed her cheek with his thumb before leaning down to kiss her softly. "Let's go."

—

Their lips moved together in perfect synch as if it had been rehearsed beforehand.

Lexie was enjoying this change of position, she could've convinced herself that they just wanted to try something new, but truth was she had been the more eager one this time and Mark had ended up on his back when she basically pushed him down on the bed. What she enjoyed about this position, Mark on his back and her hovering above him, was that Mark was the one who kept moving his hips. Just because she was on top didn't mean he had to be still and let her do the work.

Mark was gentle with her despite the circumstance. His hips moving in an even an relatively slow rhythm as he pushed inside her, drawing out yet another moan from her perfect lips. His hands kept roaming over her back, occasionally leaving light squeezes on her skin and sliding down to cup her ass. Needless to say he was also loving this new position. It was more intimate than he'd expected and it was a comfortable way for him to do all the work. Lexie moved her head slightly so her mouth was right by his ear, the sound of her hot breath causing him to push himself slightly deeper inside her. When she moaned again, he wrapped his arms tighter around her and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Mark…" Lexie whimpered softly into his ear. She needed this, she needed a distraction from the weirdness back at the conference. She still couldn't put her finger on wether she was overreacting or not. Maybe no-one had been watching her, she was just imagining. Or was she wrong? No, she was overreacting, imagining, allowing her head to mess with her. No one was stalking her. With a slight shake of her head, she moved her lips down to gently kiss the spot right below Mark's ear. A sensitive spot, she knew. And as expected, it caused him to groan in pleasure, which spurred her on even more and suddenly, she lifted herself up and started meeting him halfway, causing him to let out a moan.

Mark moved his hands up to wrap in her hair as he rested his head back and let her take control. The sound of their skin smacking together was like music to his ears and he allowed himself to literally just ride along. Lexie was on fire and for a moment he wondered what had gotten into her. He'd been surprised when she was all over him the minute they stepped into the hotel room. She'd been extremely quick to remove both his and her clothes, and he was on his back in a matter of seconds. He didn't mind of course. Sex with Lexie was mind-blowing no matter what and this was just the tip of a very mind-blowing iceberg. When Lexie leaned away from him, placing her hands on his abdomen as he straddled him, he opened his eyes and immediately came into direct contact with her chocolate hues. She looked so beautiful like this. Mark gave her a small smile and his hand soon found the outline of her hip bones, taking hold of them gently and just enjoying himself. Lexie was quick to return the smile and he found his opening to change things just a little bit.

Stopping the movements of her hips with his hands, he leaned upwards, bringing himself up into a sitting position, causing Lexie to giggle. Her arms soon wrapped around his neck while his snaked around her waist. They both paused for a minute, adjusting themselves to this new, _deep_ position and smiled widely as they rested their foreheads against each other. Even their breaths were synching and Mark briefly wondered if that was some sort of sign from the universe that they really belonged together.

"Hi," Lexie murmured, eyeing his face up and down with the smile still wide on her face.

"Hey," Mark replied, his eyes focused on hers as his thumbs started caressing her skin. "Move your legs around my hips. It'll create more friction." He watched her bite her lower lip seductively as she maneuvered her legs like he instructed, the moving causing his breath to hitch slightly. He was so deep inside her and only the thought almost made him explode.

Lexie closed her eyes and allowed her lips to crash into his. Her tongue leaving trails on his lower lip before entering his mouth. The taste of him was incredible and Lexie found herself moaning into him as her legs lifted her up and down in an even rhythm, taking all of him as deep as her pussy would allow her.

Mark moaned loudly at her movement and allowed himself to breathe more heavy. No words were needed at the moment, all he could focus on was her and how close he actually was to reaching his completion. Despite how rough they'd been witch each other this time, he'd lasted way longer than expected. One of his hands stayed on her back while the other quickly moved up to grab a handful of her hair, pulling at it gently. His tongue kept battling with hers and when he felt her inner walls beginning to clench, he knew he was done for. Lexie roughly removed her lips from his and kept her eyes closed. A frown appeared on her face and Mark knew she was close too. Getting a good grip around the small of her back, he held on to her as his hips started moving, meeting her halfway again.

"Oh, _God. Mark,"_ Lexie moaned as her breathing picked up in pace. This was exactly what she needed. Whatever had happened at the conference and whatever feelings she'd had back then didn't matter now. Inside this bubble was only her and Mark and nothing were to come between them.

"Look at me," Mark ordered as he thrusted harder inside her. When she didn't obey, he let go of her hair and instead moved his hand down to her breast, squeezing her flesh tightly to get a reaction. " _Lexie."_

Lexie let out another loud moan and threw her head backwards as she got closer and closer to the goal. Mark's hand was quick to cup the back of her head and pull her back to him, the quick motion catching her off guard and caused her to open her eyes in surprise. His dark blue eyes stared deeply into hers and she cupped his face in her hands as he held her face close to his. She smiled slightly at him and stole a quick kiss. She found new energy and started moving herself up and down in a quicker rhythm, knowing she was driving Mark insane. Resting her forehead against his, she just stared into his eyes and awaited the high.

Mark was panting against her lips and thrusted even deeper inside her, causing them both to moan loudly. His hand on her back started roaming everywhere again as he got closer and closer. He needed to touch all of her at once, his hand desperately flying from the small of her back, up to her shoulders, into her hair and finally decided to slide down her back again to rest on her thigh. Knowing it was a sensitive spot for her, he grinned as he squeezed her warm skin. "Come for me."

A slight change of angle and those words caused Lexie to moan one last loud time, watching the change of Mark's expression as he too let himself go, emptying himself inside her. They both slowed down the moving as they allowed themselves to lose themselves completely in their orgasms. Their gazes were still intensely glued to each other, neither even thinking about breaking the eye contact. Mark was the first to still completely while Lexie rode out the last of her orgasm, smiling at Mark as she returned back to reality.

Mark finally let go of the death grip he had on his fiancé and instead moved both his hands up to her face, his fingers pulling her hair back behind her ears and just took the sight of her in. Lexie was indeed the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Everything from her flushed, pink cheeks to her chocolate brown eyes. When she stilled the movements of her hips, they both paused for a minute and Mark allowed his thumb to stroke her cheek, eventually moving down to caress her lower lip.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered.

The smile dropped from Lexie's face. She felt so exposed like this, not just physically but also emotionally. She knew that during these moments, both of them were the most vulnerable and it was always in those intimate minutes after sex that they shared they're deepest thoughts, such as secrets, memories or wishes. The words he just shared with her held so many emotions. In Mark's case, she knew it was so sincere, but it was a disturbing fact that Wilson had also called her beautiful, a fact that was still messing with her head at times. It made her feel insecure and some times she actually wished that she wasn't beautiful, she didn't want men to be attracted to her.

It made her think of the drink that had been ordered for her earlier.

Maybe it was a good thing that she never took a sip of it. There had been more than enough cases in the ER where young women came in passed out after a night out, which would later turn out to be because they'd been drugged. If Lexie had taken a sip of that drink, she might've ended up in someone else's bed, since common sense told her that was the mission behind a drugged drink served to an attractive woman.

"I love you," Lexie whispered, swallowing the growing lump in her throat and forcing her mind back to the present.

"I love you, too," Mark replied with a smile as if it was obvious. He moved another strand of hair behind her ear, stealing the opportunity to softly stroke her hair for a moment. "Come here," he whispered before leaning forwards to gently allow his lips to move across hers, this time softer than ever. She immediately responded to the kiss and he wrapped his arms around her again before laying himself back down, effectively bringing her with him. He kept kissing her while she moved a little to get more comfortable above him. His arms were soon back around her waist, just holding her.

They stayed like that for a minute, just kissing and softly caressing each other until Lexie let go of his lips. Staying close to him, she gave him a last quick peck and then opened her eyes to meet his. "I'm still so glad you're back."

"Me too," Mark whispered. He watched her for a moment, allowing his hand to once again cup her cheek. "Lay down, babe."

Lexie nodded and did as she was told. Once she was comfortable on top of Mark, she rested her head on his chest, her ear right above his heart. She let out a sigh of pleasure and soon felt the covers being wrapped over her along with Mark's safe arms. His lips rested on the top of her head and she closed her eyes at the feeling of his finger moving up and down her spine. This was when she felt the most safe, like nothing bad could ever happen to her because she was protected by Mark. It was an ideal reality of course but the feeling was as real as ever. Wherever Mark was, was her safe place.

 _Her home._

She just hoped nothing would force her away from it.


End file.
